MERRY CHRISTMAS!! -- 100th Post!!

How suitable to make this last post before I head off to Christmas holidays the 100th Post!! Nice anniversary, right!!


Anyway, as you can imagine, I have quite a few things do to before I can get going today, but I just wanted to make this anniversary post now, and wish you all a

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

I'll post here as soon as I can!! :)
Take care!!


Jessica's Websites

All Done?

Today has been busy to say the least! But I think I'm pretty much as prepared now as I can be, which feels GREAT!! I can probably even wind down a bit in front of the TV before I head off to bed tonight, which would be great!

Today has been spent doing all the necessary preparartions, as well as quite a few things I have managed to postpone earlier ... like cleaning, clearing out the refrigirator, doing tons of laundry ... I have also had to pack, care a little for my pot plants (I wouldn't want all of them dead when I come home), pack the car .... etc etc etc. *Me tired now*

As usual it feels like I've forgotten most of what I should do, but I always feel like that, and somehow I manage to get by anyway, so I hope there won't be a crisis! :)
I'm hoping to be able to leave at about 8 a.m. tomorrow, but since there is always so much to do towards the end, that means I'm in for an early morning!!
Despite that, I'm hoping I can leave a last Merry Christmas-post here then ...

Also, I promise to post an entry here every time I have the oportunity and access to a computer and the internet, to let you know how I get by during my least-favourite holiday! *lol*
Nah, it's not really that bad, I am looking forward to go, at least I get to meet my families, even though I might have preferred the "meeting" to be slightly different!

Take care, guys!


Jessica's Websites

Trying To Get Organized!

Considering the fact that I'm constantly tired and walk around like a zombie these days, I really have a hard time trying to get organized for my trip!
I'm usually prepared in good time for a trip like this, but right now, I seem to get nothing done at all! Pretty much the only thing I've accomplished today is completing my Christmas shopping and fill gas in the car for the trip on Friday, that's it!!
Okay, so I have the entire day tomorrow, I won't have to out anywhere or anything like that, but I still have so much to do !!! All the packing, cleaning the entire apartment, doing a whole lot of laundry, trying to prepare some things for Uni that I can only do from here, write a few Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas messages all over the internet, since I'll be gone for at least two weeks ... etc. etc. etc.
*sigh*
It would have felt better if I had gotten a bit more done today, but I guess I can't go back in time to change it, right?! Hopefully I know that I really don't have any choice whatsoever tomorrow, so I can be disciplined enough to really get things done then .... I hope ....

Anyway, I'll post an entry here tomorrow night, and hopefully a last Merry Christmas-entry on Friday morning before I leave! :)


Jessica's Websites

Closing In Fast!

I just realized that my holiday trip north is closing in fast!! I look forward to go, it's always nice to meet the family and all that, but I'm just realizing how much I have to do before I leave ... and then I start to panic!!
At first I had hoped to be able to leave on Thursday, but that's completely out of the question now, so it'll have to be Friday! But even when I get that "extra" day, I'm still gonna have to stress a fair bit to get everything done!

Today I met my mentor at Uni, which was great as usual, and then I had a meeting with my essay-tutor! He's really nice and friendly, but he tends to be terribly vague, so you don't really get answers to your questions ... and I have a great need for a whole lot of answers right now ... I found out a little, he gave me some hints with regards to my 'theory-chapter' but on the whole, I still feel very insecure about this whole essay thing.
There are a lot of aspects of that as well ... I feel insecure about how to actually write it, but I also feel insecure about my subject, about what I have been examining, about what I need in order to cover every aspect that needs to be covered etc. So I don't have the greatest feeling ever about this essay, that's for sure ...

I'm also constantly exhausted, and have a constant headache, so I'm not feeling great at all tonight. Knowing that I won't get hardly any rest at all these upcoming days isn't exactly improving my mood either (but the picture is really cute, right?! *lol*) ... but I guess there's nothing I can do about that ...

Take care!


Jessica's Websites

One Winter Day!

Yes, we did have the first winter day today! *yay*
The temperature was a bit below zero, and you could feel "winter" in the air just as soon as you stepped outside. I don't know what it is, but the air feels and smells in a certain way when it's winter! I just loved it, I'm always hot and sweaty, so I just love it when the cold strikes.
However, I am told this joy will be short for me, as we will have temperatures above zero until Christmas Eve at least. *sigh*

I went around Christmas shopping for most of the day! I could go to a couple of malls I have a hard time reaching through trains and buses, so it felt great to have a car, and wander around a bit. I didn't have much trouble buying Christmas presents either, because I knew what to get for everyone except my little sister, and since she's 2½ years old, it's not a big problem buying presents for her. Walk into a toy store and you can pretty much buy the entire store! :)
Anyway, I'm mostly done with the presents for now ... I just might be persuaded to buy something more for my little sister *lol* but that'll be if I find something I just know she'll really like, otherwise I do have presents enough as it is.

Tonight has mostly been spent wrapping presents of course! :) With the help from Zorro! He's not that interested in the wrapping papers, but when it comes to tape and string ... boy, he just loves that! :) Sometimes I ended up getting a little more help than I actually asked for ... but I don't mind!!

Unfortunately, the cat on the picture is not Zorro ... although it actually looks quite a lot like him! :) I would just love to be able to at least dress him up in a Santa-hat and take a picture, but I have the distinct feeling he will not let me do that! So I guess you, and I, will have to enjoy this "fake" Zorro-Santa! :)

Oh, by the way! I did change the layout on my Les Misérables blog, feel free to check it out: http://les-miz.blogspot.com
Also, don't forget my Great Lyrics!-blog: http://great-lyrics.blogspot.com



Jessica's Websites

How Do I Avoid Christmas?

Well, I've never really been a fan of Christmas, but this year it's worse than ever.
I had a tiny, tiny taste of Christmas spirit when I went to the Christmas concert in the beginning of December, but it's certainly disappeared since then ...
At the moment, I'm mostly trying to figure out how to completely avoid Christmas ... which I really know is impossible! *sigh*

I always find Christmas (and other holidays) to be very complicated, but I can in retrospect say that it's worked out okay most of the time. I think that is because once I'm in the middle of it, I don't have any time to reflect on it, on wether I am being fair, on wether I should take on more conflicts than I do, on how much time I spend with whom etc. It's this "trying-to-work-it-out-for-the-best" that I well and truly HATE, because I neverk now how to do that. I always seem to forget something or someone, and it all ends up being a complete MESS!! Adding to the mess is the fact that I'm probably going to have to try to figure out how to cope with more people being involved in this mess ...

Right now, I REALLY wish I could just skip the whole thing!!!
Like I said though, I guess I'll feel better once I'm in the middle of it, I probably won't feel like I'm being tortured all through Christmas Eve (see, even in my more or less complete depression, I managed a joke ... *yay me*!), but I DO HATE trying to make it all work out now ...

Sorry about being negative all the time right now ... I just can't help it ....


Jessica's Websites

So Much To Do ...

... So Little Time ...

I really have a million things to do, and yet I seem to get nothing done! Very frustrating!!
I am extremely tired, and even when I try to focus and get things done, I mostly walk around like a zombie!
I did manage to get a little cleaning done, I wrote all my Christmas cards (last day to send them within Sweden was today!), realized that I didn't have any stamps! To make a long story short, I managed to get them sent off, but I have no idea wether they will arrive before Christmas or not ...

I'm not sure what the future will bring ... as I said, I have a million things to do, and I'm not sure how I'll get them all done before I'm going north for Christmas holidays! A lot of things have to be organized through Uni as well, meaning I am dependent on other people to get things done. So I can't really say I know how things will turn out.
Also, I have LOADS of Christmas shopping left. Usually I'm early with those kinds of things, but December 2006 has not been a great month so far! I was late putting up Christmas decorations, nearly missed sending out Christmas cards and I'm late buying Christmas presents! (I guess I don't need to tell you that I have not found an ounce of Christmas spirit yet ... ... well, I did get a little Christmas spirit when I attended the Christmas concert - when the orchestra were wearing Santa-hats - and one guy even had on a full beard!! - but apart from that, no holiday spirit for me!)

Oh, by the way ... I know the picture had nothing whatsoever to do with today's blog entry, but I just LOVED it, so I couldn't resist including it!! Soooo true!! *lol*


Jessica's Websites

A Sad Story That Ended Well!

First of all, I just have to tell you a story that my Dad told me when we met yesterday, about my little sister ... sooo touching!!



My Dad had taken my little sister shopping, and naturally, they had gone to the toy-section of the store! :) Among the stuffed animals they found a large wonderful polar bear, and my little sister fell in love with it right away! After a while, my Dad said she had to say Good bye to the bear, and she did. She's usually good at that, she can pretty much accept that the stuffed animals "live" in the store, and she accepts saying Good bye to them. Well, after walking around the store a little, my little sister caught sight of the polar bear again! She rushed there at once of course, and my Dad followed her. Just as they arrived, another man comes, picks up the polar bear, looks at and takes it and is about to leave with it!! As he turns around, he sees my little sister standing there.
She's not saying a words, but tears are trickling down her cheeks and her eyes are fixed on the polar bear.
The other man sees my Dad coming along, and he asks my Dad if this is his little girl. When my Dad said yes, the other man handed over the polar bear and told my Dad to buy it for her!!
Talk about making one little girl very happy!!!

My Dad told me the story as we had lunch yesterday, and I actually had to wipe away a tear or two!! I'm really really happy for my sister (she pretty much won't let the polar bear out of her sight now!!), and I'm most impressed by the other man, it was very big of him to let go of it ... Aparently he had kids of his own so he knew how much they take to certain things, but it was still a very decent thing to do!

My day has been very slow, I actually slept for nearly 12 hours tonight!!! Talk about being exhausted ... I guess I really need a rest now.
Other stuff are still very complicated though ... some things I've managed to more or less sort out, but there are other things that just feel very overwhelming, and I can't really say that I feel 'good' ... but I guess that's life, right?!



Jessica's Websites

I Have A Car!

Although it's not quite as fancy as the one on the picture!!
And for once, things has turned out just right today!! It was a very long time since I experienced that now, so it feels terrific!!

I went by bus at 8.40 a.m. and had about ½ hours wait, but when I arrived in Gothenburg, my Dad was already there! The weather certainly wasn't great, the heavy rain is really causing a lot of problems now, but at least everything went okay on both our trips.
We had lunch together, and went for a walk through a nearby shopping mall. The train traffic was quite effected by all the flooding, but it was mostly trains going south and west (my Dad was going north) that had been replaced by buses ... and it looked like my Dad's train would be on time.
I started my drive at about 3.10 p.m. and I'm always quite nervous the first time I drive, since it's been almost six months since I drove ... The technicalities are routine of course, but the way you assess the traffic and your alertness isn't quite the same when you haven't driven for a while. And starting in the centre of Sweden's second largest town might not be a great idea! It's really no problem getting on to the southbound highway from where we usually park, but me not being used to driving, combined with heavy traffic, heavy rain and the fact that it got darker by the minute made me quite nervous.
I was close to making mistakes twice early on, as I had problems getting in the correct lanes ... so first I almost ended up on the highway to Stockholm - eh, no thanks! - and the second time I was close to getting on the road to Jönköping - didn't want to go there either!
The drive home really went okay, but it was quite stressing, with very heavy traffic, actually more so than I had anticipated ... the weather and the darkness didn't help much either, but at least everything went okay, no accidents or other things, and that's the main thing after all ...

I'm really tired now, and I've got a headache (blame it on the drive!!), so I'm going to bed soon!

Take care and good night!


Jessica's Websites

Complete Exhaustion!

I wonder if I will ever recover and not feel completely exhausted, drained and definately more dead than alive?!
I didn't have much on the agenda today - after yesterday's complete chaos, I had to cancel a meeting I had scheduled for this afternoon - but despite that, I'm feeling like a corpse that has to walk around looking alive ... *sigh*

Last visit to my work place before the holidays today ... it was a cleaning/planning day today, which was kinda fun, since it's only the staff there!! Also, I did perform two interviews ... and even though I was nervous, it kind of felt okay ... but it's hard to try to remember everything you should do, and should not do in an interview ... I think it turned out okay though ...

I was home early, at two, but despite that I haven't managed to do very much this afternoon ... I just feel like I could sleep 24/7 right now!
I'm trying to gather strength for tomorrow, which will be a rather long day! I'll take the bus to Gotheburg, where I will meet my Dad - who will drive there. We'll "exchange modes of transport" there, so I'll get the car and he'll take the train back! I'm not usually worried about these kinds of things, but with the weather problems we've been having, I'm a little worried about how the roads will be ... We've had an abnormal amount of rain this fall, and pretty much the entire West Coast of Sweden is flooded! The train traffic aren't moving at all in some places, and I've also heard reports that roads have been flooded and closed ... *yikes*
Guess I'll just have to hope for the best, right?!


Jessica's Websites

It's All Going To Hell!

Just when I thought there was no earthly way I could recieve more bad news I just did! :(
It seems most everything I try to say, think and do goes wrong at the moment! It's one thing after another after another, and I'm really having a very hard time coping with it.

I'm completely exhausted, I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life (I don't think a week of constant sleeping would even fix me up right now), and when nothing seems to work out ... I just collapse ...

This week has hardly even begun yet, and I already feel like giving up my entire life ...

Sorry about the very short and very depressing entry ...


Jessica's Websites

Why A Title?

Today I'm wondering why my blog entry needs a title?!? Since I can't think of anything appropriate that would summarize today's events ... I guess this one will have to do though! *lol*

Confusing day, to say the least!
I went to work first, which was fun! Trying to decorate a plastic tree ... three people more or less involved trying to move electric candles around like crazy and ending up with all the candles on one side and the electric chord nowhere near the outlet ... way to go! (Guess it would have been kinda fun to watch though! *lol*)
Anyway, it was rather slow at work, which I felt was quite nice. Despite that, I left work with a headache and a near panic attack over a meeting at Uni. The meeting in itself (what was actually said) wasn't terrific, but at least the outcome of the meeting was good for me ... it did in a way relieve some of the stress and tension that I'm feeling now, so that was good. There were however surrounding circumstances, which weren't good at all ... :( It's WAY complicated, and nothing has been sorted out ... but it wasn't good at all.

On top of all that, it's been totally stormy and raining cats and dogs, so I was wet already at Uni. Then I had to wait for about 20 minutes for my train (I had a roof over my head, but since it was SO windy, I still managed to get REALLY wet!), there were some delays, because an electric cable had blown across one of the train tracks ... terrific! When I got 'home' (that is, to 'my' town), I needed to do some grocery shopping ... so I had to wait for a delayed bus from the railway station, outside in pouring rain for a bit over ten minutes, then do the shopping and wait - outside in pouring rain! - for another delayed bus for fifteen minutes!
Let's just say my mood hasn't been great tonight ...

I also have three major heavy days ahead of me - and some other unsolved business ... along with some other issues ... what? You think I'm vague?? Where on Earth did you get that from??? :)
Sorry, I know I'm not making much sense, what I wanted to say is that I'm in for rough times, that's all.
Wish me luck ... on ... pretty much everything! ;)


Jessica's Websites

"So This Is Christmas ..."

Well, although I'm about a week late, today I managed to get all the Christmas decorations and whatnot up ... Even though I don't like Christmas, I usually feel it's okay with all the preparations, Christmas presents and decorations, but this year I don't have any Christmas spirit whatsoever ...
I've tried everything, I even made ginger-bread cookies (special gluten-free kind, which I've never dared to make myself before ... special doughs with special flower and whatnot), I listened to Christmas music, everything ... but no holiday spirit for me ...

Zorro helped with the decorations of course! :) As you might see in the pictures ...
In this first picture, he's on the table, along with most of my Christmas decorations! I wish I could have put a Santa's hat on his head, to make it look really Christmassy, but he would have none of it of course (and I can't say that I blame him either ...).
Here, in the second picture, Zorro has positioned himself inside the Christmas box, to check it out properly! :) Luckily I had already removed all the fragile stuff ... so I felt he could have his fun in the box! At least one of us has enjoyed the Christmas decorations today! :)



Apart from this I don't have much to write about it ... I'm still feeling rather sad and melancholy, it's sort of a general state of mind, that shines through most of what I do nowadays ... who knows, a change of scenery over Christmas might do me good.

Tomorrow begins a pretty horrible week for me. I have so much stuff that needs to be done, fixed and organized, and for the most part, I am dependent on other people to make this work. I don't have anything against the people around me, but it feels a little frustrating when I can't control how things will turn out myself ... instead the results of a lot of things will be determined by others, and yet affect me in a very real way ... and I never like that.

Take care guys!




Jessica's Websites

Melancholy And Sadness ...

... Describe me pretty well now!
I'm going pretty much up and down these days, but tonights it's well and truly down. I'll try not go sound far to depressed, which is utterly boring and no fun at all - but I am really wondering what will happen to my life ...
I have about a million things that HAS to been done (preferably yesterday *sigh*!), and they are all in one way or another connected to eachother, so it's not just a matter of 'do one thing and finish that, do the next thing and finish that' ... it's so complicated, and I'm not sure I'll be able to sort everything out!

Since everything is in some way connected to something else, it's hard to make up a plan as well. For instance, I'm meeting with one of my teachers on Monday afternoon, and depending on what happens at that meeting, there are a number of different ways I could go, and different things I should do. This means that until I've met him and seen the outcome of that meeting, I will have to have all these different scenarios in my head, so as I'll know which one to choose when I actually can make a choice. Add about 5-10 other things that will work in exactly the same way and YES, MY LIFE IS VERY CONFUSING RIGHT NOW!!

I know that next week will be very intense indeed, but at least some things hopefully will start to happen then. That way I might also be able to put some things behind me - which I can't now. On the other hand, I'm very, very nervous about everything that is going to happen next week, because what if they are not working out ... what do I do then??

Okay, I guess you've understood the fact that I am very confused now ... so there's not really any point in going on about it here.
I'll try to keep you updated on my extremely confusing life ...

Oh, by the way ... I'm trying not to completely forget about my other blogs too, so I thought I'd remind you about them as well :

http://les-miz.blogspot.com <--- Les Misérables: Beyond the Barricade
http://great-lyrics.blogspot.com <--- Great Lyrics!
Enjoy!


Jessica's Websites

Up-And-Down!

My life is rather confusing now ... some things seems to start working out now, which I'm very greatful for. Other things are not working out at all, and some things are just left hanging without me knowing what will happen ... so I'm feeling up one minute and down the next. It's even gone so far that I'm closing in on an apathy-state, where I don't care about anything that happens. Which isn't great at all, since a lot of stuff are still up to me, I have to organize and do and fix a whole lot of stuff if it's gonna work out.
I have had better days yesterday and today, but I'm wondering if part of that is because I am starting to feel apathetic, so I feel better because I can't be bothered to care about all the problems ...
I really need to start caring, because I'm having a little "break" now, until Monday ... and next week will be extremely intense, so I really should try to prepare as much as I can now!

Not sure what's up with me now though, I'm suddenly so overly tired, I can hardly remember my own name!! I know it's really early, but I don't think I'll be able to stay awake for another minute!
I do apologize for the short entry, hope I'll be able to make a better one tomorrow!

Good night!


Jessica's Websites

Somewhat Better ... I Think?!

No disaster have occured today, so I guess that would mean that I did have a better day today than I have had earlier! Can't say that it's been a great day, but I'm greatful for every day that goes by without something going completely wrong at the moment!!

I managed to get some work done on my essay this morning - about time too!! - and I sent a looong email to my tutor!! (I haven't heard back from him though ...)
Then I went Christmas shopping ... which was kind of a joke ... as I ended up with one little book for my sister! I had hoped to get a little more shopping done than that - but I guess you can't have everything, right?

The weather was actually pretty good when I left - a surprise, since it feels like it's been raining constantly for the last month or more - but it was a completely different story when I was going home. First I had to wait for about 15 minutes for the first bus (which was late!) in complete storm!! Since it had been rather warm - and I'm always soooo hot - when I left, I only wore a T-shirt and a jacket ... but the storm made it feel like -10 degrees at least ... I was sooo cold!! When I got to 'my' town, the city bus had just left *typical*, so then I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the city bus - and now the freezing storm had been accompanied by heavy rain! I was in such an awful mood when I got home!!
I haven't done anything really useful since I got home either - I just haven't felt like doing anything at all *sigh*

I did have plans to go for another shopping excursion tomorrow (going north this time, instead of south), but after the day I had today, I doubt I'll go ... I have some other errands to run within town, and I could do with some serious work on my essay too!

Oh, by the way - I did add my last auctions for the year to tradera last night! Feel free to check them out at: http://www.tradera.com/category/auctionlist.aspx?ftgnr=212855&sortBy=16 Any bids are more than welcome! :) :)

Take care, guys!


Jessica's Websites

Starting To Wonder!

I'm starting to wonder if I'll be able to sort everything out in a somewhat satisfactory way actually. I know I keep repeating myself, but it certainly looks like every time I try to deal with something, something else goes to Hell ...
I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me too much, and I really try to take things one day - or one hour! - at a time, and hope for the best. But it's hard since I have about a million things in my head, that in one way or another needs to be dealt with.
I really feel that I'm not at all coping as well with things the way I did earlier this semester, in that respect I guess I've gone back in my personal development, but I honestly don't think that's very strange, considering the way things are right now.

I know things were really good for the most part this semester, but the fact is that even when things went well, they were still a huge strain for me ... and since I wasn't given any chance for recreation and reflection, I just cracked up when things started going wrong ...

It feels like I have at least started doing something tonight, and I hope that this might help me to be a little more positive in the future. Somehow I'll have to try and deal with this entire mess the best way I can, and just hope that it's enough, right?

Unfortunately my situation isn't made easier due to these 'issues' I have referred to earlier. They are not really very tangible in my life right now, but they are constantly in my thoughts, and they are definately complicating matters, partly because they make me feel really, really sad and down, and partly because I feel I can't concentrate on more important things ... *sigh*

Ah well .... I can only do my best, right? I just hope it's enough ...
If no disasters occurs within the next 12 hours or so (who knows, it might be a migraine, a flood, an earthquake ...!), I hope to do some Christmas shopping tomorrow! Maybe that will take my mind off some things, and hopefully I can relax and enjoy the little outing ...

Take care!


Jessica's Websites

Weird Day!

Today has been somewhat strange. Certain things has happened that from one perspective can be seen as very positive and really great and from another perspective as not so great at all. I hate it when things get so confusing all the time ... I definately prefer simplicity in my life, but I guess I'm not that lucky, right?!

Work was okay today - a little slow but that actually suits me just fine these days. One Mom arrived with her two kids, I really really like them all, and I haven't seen them in ages so it was great seeing them again! Although you really tend to realize how time flies when you see how fast the kids grow! *yikes*

Things had felt okay all morning, but when I got home in the afternoon, I more or less collapsed ... due to a number of things. I have been feeling really low all afternoon and all evening, and I really hope I can get out of this mess soon, because it's very very hard to always feel so down, and constantly see that things happen that makes everything worse and worse and worse ...

Practically I have only done one thing today (apart from work) - pathetic, isn't it?? Anyway, it's something I've been putting off like forever, because it's by far the most disgusting domestic work I know!! Cleaning out the drains from the shower! Yuck!!! It's sooooo horrible, I have a really hard time doing that - but at least my entire bathroom is spotless now - thank you very much!! I still have a list of like a hundred things I really need to do, but when I'm feeling this bad, I just tend to ignore everything ... *sigh*

Tomorrow is going to be very tough as well. Work again, but this time one group in the morning and one in the afternoon - meaning I'll leave home - and Zorro!!! - at about 7 a.m. and will be home about 6p.m. ... NOT funny!!
The weekend is looking a little slower, so hopefully I can clean the rest of the apartment then, put up some decorations etc. Although I really needed a meeting with a teacher this week, and just found out he's on a conference all Thursday and Friday! Typical!

Well, I guess I'd better try to get some sleep as I have an early morning and a long day tomorrow!
Good night!


Jessica's Websites

'Decisions, Decisions'

Another long and rather stressful day today.
I went to work first, and was meant to collect a lot of information for my essay! I had questions to ask, questionnaires to hand out etc. and I got absolutely nothing done!! *sigh* It was not total neglect on my part though, because I got sort of talked into trying to do this project, which kept my busy for most of the morning, but it still feels terrible that I spent four hours there without getting anything at all done for my essay - so that felt more or less like a waste of time! Even though I do enjoy being there, right now my time there has to center around the essay ... which of course it didn't today!

After work I went to visit my mentor, who is a really wonderful girl! Unfortunately, since I feel so low right now, I just feel awful that I can't think of a single positive thing to say - I feel really terrible about that ... so that meeting wasn't really great either unfortunately!

When I managed to get home I realized I definately need to make some decisions about the upcoming weeks and what I will and will not do right now. I've been putting off making these decisions because I can't for the life of me figure out what to decide, what will be 'right' and what will be 'wrong'?? Still, I couldn't wait any longer or it would all collapse ...
So, I've made a few decisions tonight!
I thought I would feel better once I had actually decided something and knew what to work from, but I don't! I still feel really really worried that I've made the wrong decisions and that all Hell will break loose any minute! I also realized that I'd forgotten something rather important today, which means that tomorrow will be completely crazy and stressed out and generally weird! Why can't something work out for me right now?!?!? Everything just keeps falling to pieces and I don't know how much longer I can take that ....

On top of all this - as if that wasn't enough - some old 'issues' have come up and become rather accute now!! I had tried hard to if not forget about them (which probably isn't possible) but at least try to put them someplace in the back of my mind, where they wouldn't occupy me very much! It has worked for a while, but now they've lept forward and are actually occupying a whole lot of my mind ... and I really need to focus on other things right now! Unfortunately, there's not an Off-button for your feelings and emotions, is there?!

I know my blog entries can't be that uplifting to read nowadays and I'm sorry for that - but I can't very well sit here and write stuff that isn't true, right? I'm focusing my blog very much on what goes on in my day-to-day life ... and that means ups as well as downs, right?

I really hope all of you are feeling better than I am right now, because I wouldn't wish this on anybody!!!





Jessica's Websites

Julkonsert! [Swedish]

I am terribly sorry but I will make this review on the Christmas concert I attended today in Swedish only! The reason is that most of the Christmas songs, the traditions or whatever you want to call them, feel very Swedish ... and to be frank, I don't have the time nor the energy to try to come up with translations of everything - or try to find all the song titles in English if they are avaliable.
I do hope that the readers that don't read Swedish will forgive me for this - should there be a great interest for a review in English as well - please post a comment here or send me an email, and I'll see what I can do!

---

Okej, det var det. Över till Julkonserten ... som var helt fantastisk!
Tonica-orkestern, som jag bara har hört en gång tidigare (de spelade även på Musical Highlights-konserten) var mycket mycket duktiga!! (Konferenciern nämnde vid något tillfälle att han tyckte det var fantastiskt att en "amatörorkester" - med hans ord! - kunde låta så bra ... jag får ju vara ärlig och säga att jag aldrig hade kunnat benämna den som "amatörorkester", de är helt enorma!! Vid två tillfällen spelade de helt utan dirigent, vilket också imponerade på mig!! Hur kan man samordna en hel orkester så att alla spelar rätt sak vid rätt tillfälle utan att ha en dirigent?!

Under inledningssången - "Tomtarnas vaktparad", helt perfekt! - bar alla i orkestern tomteluva! *ler stort* Mycket "juligt"!

Solister var systrarna Jenny och Emma Freij och Anders Mårtensson och dirigenten hette Peter Sjunnesson. Alla, i vanlig ordning, oerhört duktiga.
Jag var väldigt imponerad utav solisterna, som gjorde en enastående insats och verkligen skapade julkänsla!!
Avslutande "O Helga Natt" var nog den absoluta höjdpunkten tror jag ... enorm insats av alla solister!!

Konserten inkluderade också allsång från publiken! :) :) Vi fick sjunga "Nu tändas tusen juleljus", "Stilla Natt" samt vers fyra och fem av "Dagen är kommen" och jag klämde naturligtvis i för kung och fosterland!


Publiken var mycket bra, det klappades med i inledningssången, och efter "O Helga Natt" då det var dags att avrunda, var publiken helt klart med på noterna och applåderade in solisterna samt dirigenten fyra gånger! Sånt gillar jag! :)
Vi fick också höra ett extranummer, nämligen "Julen är här", och även då var det "tomteluva på" för orkestern! :) En kille hade t o m tomteskägg - very cool!!

Det räckte dock inte med extranummer för denna härliga publik som bara fortsatte att applådera och applådera ... så solisterna och orkestern fick köra "Julen är här" ytterligare en gång - innan vi ansåg oss fyllda av julstämning och kunde gå hem!

Helt klart en underbar eftermiddag!!

Julen är här
Och lyser fred på jorden
Glädjen är stor
I ett barns klara ögon bor den

Julen är här
I våra mörka länder
Kom, låt oss ta varandras händer
När julen är här!



Jessica's Websites

Christmas Tradition!

Yesterday, on December 2nd, it was time for mine and my friend Annika's annual Christmas tradition! Every year in December (or very late November) we go to Gotheburg to visit the Christmas market at Liseberg and exchange Christmas gifts! A very nice tradition indeed!
This year it turned out a little different though, since we also planned to see the musical Cats in the afternoon! (see below for a review!)

My day started pretty much with the fact that I missed the bus I wanted to take in order to get to the train .... I wasn't in such a hurry - for once I was out in time - but it meant that I had to take a ten minute walk to another bus stop, and the rain was pouring down and it was very stormy! I did have an umbrella, but I don't know if it did me any good because when I got to the bus stop I was very wet!
The train trip to Gotheburg was okay though, and it was great seeing Annika again! We hadn't seen each other since we were in London this summer, so it was certainly about time!!
We had something to eat, and it didn't rain that much in Gotheburg so we decided to hurry to Liseberg before we saw Cats - it's about 20-30 minutes walk from the station. We started walking and it started raining! It rained, and it rained ... and it rained! Once again, umbrellas didn't help much! By the time we got to Liseberg we were completely soaked, and even though the rain pretty much stopped (almost anyway), it was still somewhat uncomfortable!
I have to say that even though Liseberg was as wonderful as ever, it was a little hard to get that true Christmas feeling, since it was very wet, very grey and about 10 degrees .... Still, it worked a little ... there was the traditional Christmas music, and all the lovely lights in the trees, and lots and lots of Santas, and all the Christmas smells ... so you couldn't help but feeling a little Christmassy! :)

We couldn't stay for very long, since we had to be in time for Cats. Despite us checking the clock, we were pretty late ... and we didn't know where the Gothenburg Opera was ... so it was a little nervous at one point! We managed to rush in to the Opera house at 2.52 p.m. ... and there were still a lot of people who hadn't taken their seats, so at least we weren't the last ones in! :)
Cats was wonderful - I won't write to much about it, since I've already written a review, but it was a really great production!
Afterwards we ate a little, then exchanged Christmas gifts! :) I got a dvd and four episodes of a TV-show where Anthony Stewart Head had a guest part! Yay!! *me happy now* :) :)

The train trip back home could have been more fun - I was really tired and there were a couple of young girls in my car that were on top of everything! They were shouting and playing and singing and even climbing up and down in the seats! *sigh* I know that kids are kids and I usually really like children, but I actually would have preferred a bit of peace and quiet just then, to be able to rest!

Still, despite the rain (I think my coat is STILL wet!!), it was a wonderful day!
Thanks, Annika!!






Jessica's Websites

Cats - 2 december 2006

Yesterday I went to see Cats at the Gothenburg Opera with my friend Annika, and it was really a wonderful production!
I did have kind of a hard time getting used to it being in Swedish, as I know most of it in English, but after a while it felt okay.

I really love Cats because of its marvellous set and fantastic make-up and constumes, and I certainly wasn't disappointed yesterday! Very impressive!
The sets were actually quite amazing, with Mungjerrie and Rumpleteazer tumbling out of a huge tea cup (!), a giant size pot plant crashing down on the stage (!) and perhaps the most impressive: Skimbleshanks' train going around the stage, pulled by the actors! Incredible!!

Niklas Andersson, famous Swedish performer (who has also done a lot of work in London's West End), played Munsktrap, and he did a fantastic job! He looks excellent in cat costume *lol* and his voice is amazing! I'm very glad that I got to see him live (this is actually the second time for me, I was lucky enough to see him as Chris in Miss Saigon - another excellent performance!)!
Grizabella was played by Evelyn Jons and her prime number was without a doubt "Memory" which was very, very moving!
I also quite enjoyed seeing Patrik Magnusson as Rum-Tum-Tugger and Per Myrberg as Gus/Growltiger (I've seen Per Myrberg in Chess in Stockholm (2003) and he always gives a great performance)!
Hans Josefsson played Old Deuteronomy (which unfortunately had been translated to 'Profetikus'), he did a great job - wonderful deep voice! - but I think I would have liked to see a little more and charisma and authority in his performance.

There were also four absolutely amazing dancers on stage - I could hardly believe what they were able to do!! Credit to Hanna Linné (Victoria), Timo Lattu (Pouncival), Katja Kortström (Tantomile) and Mattias Andersson (Coricopat)!

I loved the way they did the curtain call, which felt quite original. The orchestra played the Jellicle Cats-song and the variuos groups, pairs or singel cats came on stage and did their own little dance routine, while the audience clapped to the song!! Very nice!!

All in all - a great production and a great Saturday afternoon!!





Jessica's Websites