Best Wishes From Jessica & Zorro !!

I hope you will all have a lovely Christmas holiday!
I will be back in the beginning of January with new entries!

/Jessica

Frantic Preparations!

Today has been entirely focused on preparing for my trip to my families tomorrow!! Since I'm so completely exhausted I feel like I've forgotten a million things, but I try to write lists like crazy ... so hopefully it'll work out in the end.
So ... what did I to today? Cleaned, pretty much the entire aparment ... packed most of the stuff (although I'll pack the car tomorrow morning, so as not to upset Zorro too much) ...
And I had to take a trip to Lund too, but I was totally efficiant ... don't know if I've ever been that efficient before actually! *lol* I took the train at 1.20 and arrived in Lund about 1.40. I walked up to the general University Library to return a book, then walked 'my' Department where I had to return another book to the library there, walked to a toy store and got two last-minute-gifts for my youngest sister, and managed to take the 2.22-train back! Not bad, huh?! :)

I hope I can make one last Happy Holidays-post tomorrow, but right now I need to start winding down and figure out what I need to get done tomorrow and when I need to get up!
Take care guys!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing
Currently watching: Can't even remember ... Family Guy, I think! :)
Currently listening to: Fashion Jr High - Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
My Plans for tomorrow: Trip north, playing with my sisters! :)

Trying, Trying, Trying!

I have really applied myself today, trying ever so hard to at least salvage whatever I can and prepare as much as possible for my holiday trip.
Guess I should have known the outcome, huh? If I feel as bad as I do now, it doesn't matter how hard I try, everything turns out completely wrong no matter what I do ... so there you have my day!

I should have studied, cleaned, done some packing, done laundry, filled the car with gas ... etc etc etc ... I actually have done some of it, but it took 4 times as long as it should since everything that possible could go wrong, did go wrong! *deep sigh*





Even tried getting into the Christmas spirit (see my mini-Christmas trees?!!), playing Christmas music etc, but that only resulted in me realizing that at this point, this feels like the worst Christmas ever! I know it probably won't be that bad when I'm where I'm supposed to be and things start happening! I can usually cope better then, it's worse just not knowing what will happen and how it will turn out!
This year I won't stay in the summer house with Zorro, we're going to try to stay at my Dad's house, since it is after all much simpler! The summer house is 100 kilometers away, so it's both timeconsuming and expensive when I have to live there ...
But I'm completely exhausted as it is, and trying to cope with two very intense kids and a more or less crazy, insane cat ... not quite sure how that will turn out ...

My mood did improve some tonight, when I got the sweetest phonecall from Johanna!! Things have been complicated at Uni, to say the least, and it was really nice of her to call! I know I'm gonna miss her and Sara and the others when I'm gone!!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Not much
Currently watching: Family Guy
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Fixing EVERYTHING for my trip! *help*

Rather Terrible Ending!

Yes, it seems that the ending of this fall turns out to be rather terrible! I suffered a near complete break-down regarding everything in my life the other day, and that wasn't exactly my plan! I'm starting to be able to think rationally now, but it will take some time to recover from this. It also, of course, has consequences! I have tried to deal with at least some of them, but I suspect others will haunt me later on.
I know there's nothing I can do about it now, things happened the way they did and all I can do is try to work things out as best I can. But that sure isn't easy. Time is a factor, since holidays are coming up, and I know the holidays will be very intense and tough, and when I get back down here, I will have to try to sort out this mess. So right now I'm not that happy with things, generally speaking.

I'm really not feeling up to blogging at all, but I thought I'd at least give you a reason to why my blog entries are so few and short right now ....






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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing
Currently watching: Tru Calling
Currently listening to: A Sunday in Battery Park, Kristina From Duvemåla
My Plans for tomorrow: I haven't the slightest idea!

Very Sad For Some Reason!

I'm glad I managed to get my positive blog entry done this morning, because unfortunately my mood has turned around during the day! I finished one project, which was good of course, but seeing as how I really should have finished like, five or something, I don't feel to happy about myself anyway ...

For some reason I have felt really, really sad most of the day. Don't really know where it comes from either, but I guess I could be so tired I just get totally emotional about everything. And let's just face it, the emotion that comes most easy to me, is sadness.

I have some tough days coming up now, in order to get everything working before heading north for the holidays! I already know I won't feel content about leaving this year, because I will undoubtedly leave a lot of unfinished business down here, for me to deal with when I get back, and that never feels good, but I still have to try to get as much as possible done and fixed (and some things I really HAVE to do!) ...
The plan is to work like crazy, both with studies and other practical matters in the beginning of the week - we have a lecture tomorrow and a seminar on Wednesday, and then get Thursday at home, packing, doing laundry, cleaning etc. And hopefully I can get going early on Friday morning.
I can't count on internet access while I'm gone - I am of course hoping to steal some time at some point, but any online time I get will be bonus ...
I hope you won't grow tired of the blog during the holidays when it won't be updated, because I will be back in 2008 with new entries! I haven't quite decided when to go back, it depends a bit on how much studying I can get done now, and during the holidays, when the exams will be (since I have two oral exams in January, they haven't fixed dates yet) and what I can work out with my Dad about getting home ... but I will return with blog entries and probably tons of cute pictures of my little sisters! :)

I always find myself wanting to go to bed early, and I don't think I've fallen alseep before midnight for over a week now! *sigh* Looks like it's gonna be the same tonight as well ... *yawn*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det Sårbara Livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1 (season 1)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, errands, meeting a teacher (I hope!), STUDYING

Positive Entry??

For once, I'm feeling in a decent mood this morning, so I figured I'd better write an entry here that is positive for a change! *lol* I don't have much to write about - as nothing much has happened since last night! - but I've gathered a bit of fun trivia, links etc and I thought this would be a good entry to post that!

First off, I actually found a German translation of my blog! (done through Google, I think) It feels very strange to read everything in German, but it really looks cool! I did take German for six years in school, but I have more or less forgotten everything I have ever learned - but I still think it's cool to check it out!
Click here to read Ein neuer Tag - ein weiteres Schicksal!

And check this out:

You Are an Alien

You're so strange, people occasionally wonder if you're from another world. You don't try to be different, but you see most things from a very unique, very offbeat perspective. Brilliant to the point of genius, you definitely have some advanced intelligence going on. No matter what circles you travel in, you always feel like a stranger. And it's a feeling you've learned to like. Your greatest power: Your superhuman brain Your greatest weakness: Your lack of empathy - you just don't get humans You play well with: Zombies

What Kind of Monster Are You?

So ... what is you Harry Potter Name?!
Click here - for the male verison!
Click here - for the female version!
My Harry Potter Name is : Lavender Bladvak

My Elf Name is: Nessa Vardamir
And My Hobbit Name is: Ruby Moss of Lake-by-Downs

I've been convinced to join Facebook although I wasn't too keen on the idea! I'm not constantly active there, I tend to be very active for a day or so, then I hardly log in at all ... but if you like you can "check me out"!

Oooh, and finishing off with some positive personal news!
I finally got the money back from Paypal!!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! They let me know about a week ago that I had won our "dispute" (since the seller didn't even respond *stupid guy!*), but I wouldn't get all my money back! I had payed US$215 (1410 SEK), and Paypal has a money-back-guarantee of $200, minus a fee of $25, so I did get $175 back, which turned out to be 1100 SEK! Not that bad ... even though I had rather wanted the DVD box of course!
Still, with those money and some selling at Tradera in January when I get back after the holidays, I'm hoping to get the Stargate SG-1 Box Set maybe sometime around my birthday! *fingers crossed*

I hope you enjoyed this a bit more up-beat blog entry this morning!
Also a small reminder to those of you that haven't participated in my labels-vote (in the right column), to please place your vote! It only takes a second and is completely anonymous. You have until the end of the months, and the way things are looking now, I will start 2008 (when I get home) by trying to label all my previous posts! :) :)

Take care, guys!
(And another Stargate Graphic - pics from http://forum.gateworld.net/showpost.php?p=7259315&postcount=1):

Diving Down - Climbing Up?

I have certainly been "diving down" the last few days (about a week), now my hope is to be able to start "climbing up" a little so I can start sorting some stuff out before the holidays interrupt it all.

I have unfortunately been stuck with a headache for about three days now, something that annoys me a great deal! I can't function with it - it's not possible for me to be concentrated and focused when I'm in that much pain - but I still can't afford just "taking time off" either! *sigh* It's too late to do anything about anything now, so I guess all I can do is hope for a better day tomorrow! I think much would be gained if I could just get away from being in constant pain - by now no pain killer in the world will take it, because I've been eating them constantly for far too long - because I have a feeling my mood would increase just by not feeling pain. *fingers crossed*

Not many days left to try to sort everything out now, so I really hope I can get to it tomorrow morning! I plan on getting an early morning, although I'm not sure if I succeed. These days it would seem I can sleep 24/7 and still be tired!! Still, I'd better get off to bed if I'm going to be able to get up at about 5.30-6 a.m. tomorrow!

My latest Stargate graphics: (pics come from: http://forum.gateworld.net/showpost.php?p=7259315&postcount=1 )




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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Not much ...
Currently watching: The Simpsons Movie (for the third time in a row *lol*)
Currently listening to: La Faute Á Voltaire - Les Misérables Original French Concept Album
My Plans for tomorrow: Try to sort my life out ....

Apathy Again?

I'm really not feeling great these days, unfortunately!
I definately feel a tendancy toward the apathic state I was in during the beginning of this fall, and I don't like it one little bit! I know there's just a week left before Christmas "holidays" (and I use quotation marks on purpose here, since I'd hardly call Christmas a holiday ... but you get the picture), but I can't help it!
I feel terrible, I don't get anything done, and when I try to pull myself together to actually get something done, it won't work out!
*deep sigh*

I have a very heavy week coming up, meaning I have lots and lots and lots and lots to do this weekend, both to get ready and do the things I need to do, but also in mentally preparing myself for this, so I can actually go through with this ...

I'm really totally tired so I should go to bed and get up at a decent hour tomorrow instead, but I tend to get stuck in some stupid computer game or something, and never fall asleep ...
Sorry about being so negative all the time, I do hope I can share some more positive blog entries before my Christmas hiatus ...

Good night!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Not much
Currently watching: Stargate Atlantis
Currently listening to: Not much
My Plans for tomorrow: Too much - complementary shopping, studying, cleaning ....

Christmas Shopping!

I spent about 4 hours Christmas shopping today. At first it didn't seem like I would get anything, I kept going to two different, really big, malls, and I hardly found anything, which was very annoying!! It got a little better toward the end though, so at least it didn't feel like a wasted trip!

I did bring home a nasty headache, and unfortunately there was no way I could get rid of it!!! I really need to spend every spare second I have now studying, but there's no way I can study when it feels like my head is splitting into ten different pieces ... so now I'm in even more trouble at Uni! *deep sigh*
I still have a headache, so I'm off to bed now - hopefully I'll get a better and more productive day tomorrow - with NO headache!!!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing
Currently watching: Läckberg & Rudberg (Swedish book-programme)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Getting a haircut, more Christmas shopping, STUDIES!

Getting Better!

It seems things are slowly getting better now, I hope! I've gotten more done today, although I always feel really bad about not doing even more! Guess I'm a hopeless case at that.
I still hope things will continue to go in this direction, so I can finish off here in a positive way, before heading north for the holidays. *fingers crossed*

Haven't much exciting to tell today, I've been doing some necessary stuff, getting an appointment for a hair cut, working out some stuff at Uni, getting my mail transferred to my Dad's when I'm visiting for Christmas, studied some ... nothing special really!

Tomorrow I plan to go Christmas shopping! I do have my Dad's car, but it's still quite expensive to go by car, so I usually get around by bus and train (I have a monthly pass, so I pay a fee once a month and can ride as much as I want on that - and mine doesn't expire until 20 December) - but tomorrow I plan on a big tour, so I'll take the car then!
Two big malls, and at least two other stores in on the agenda ... hopefully I'll get pretty much all of my Christmas shopping done tomorrow - I have done some already, but I really need to complete it tomorrow (more or less, anyway), because I don't have the time to go shopping much more ... So I hope I can figure out some nice gifts - I mostly have my little sister's to buy for, and it's not that hard getting presents for two girls aged 1 and 3½!! *lol*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Various
Currently watching: The X-Files Season 5
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Christmas shopping, studying

Working Hard!

I'm currently feeling very confused! I'm hard at work, trying to deal with this situation, and I honestly don't know wether I'm doing a good job of it or not!
At times I feel I'm doing quite well, and working out issues and trying to cope - and the next minute I don't know what I'm doing, and everything feels terribly confusing!

I know there's only about 10 days until Christmas - but Christmas tend not exactly to be a holiday for me (to be blunt: I totally hate it!), so I can't exactly count on that being a time for recreation ....
I really really really hope I can sort this whole mess out - in one way or another - but I'm not sure how!
I did feel better earlier today, but something rather big happened tonight. I can't really say that it made me feel worse, but it made me feel more - which in these cases are mostly annoying ...

Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now, I can hear how completely non-coherent I'm sounding. Sorry for being so cryptic ....

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Not much
Currently watching: The X-Files, season 5
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: I haven't the slightest idea, but a good guess would be: STUDIES!

Coping Or Not?

The question in the title is quite accurate actually, because I can't tell for sure if I am coping, or if I'm not ...
Okay, to make this really annoying, I'm gonna go with both, I am coping and I am not coping! You won't win a prize for guessing that my life is confusing at the moment though, becuase I'm guessing that's fairly obvious! :)

Some things are really not working out now, there's no chance whatsoever I can make them work, so I'm trying to deal with that on both an emotional and a practical level. When it comes to the practical level, well, that's mostly about making my life work, even though there are some things that don't work - and when it comes to the emotional level, it's mostly about not getting too depressed about this whole mess. And I think I'm succeeding, at least on the emotional level, better than I have done before.
I'm certainly not happy about the way things are at the moment, but I can somehow accept that they are what they are, and I still feel that I might be able to salvage at least something. I don't have that "complete despair"-feeling that I have experienced before, I can more view this as an isolated incident. It will have implications of course, and things will be difficult in the future because of this, but at least I don't feel that my whole life is completely worthless ... guess that's something, right?!

I know I've been under an enormous amount of stress and strain lately, and I still have problem areas and 'issues' to deal with in my life, so I guess these things will happen now and again. I think that it's important not to let them drain to much energy but just view them as isolated incidents that happen, but that I can sort out in the end, without the consequences being too severe ....
I hope ...

I'm really tired, even though I haven't done much today - but it's been a very emotional day, with lots of difficult thoughts, and that might be even more tiresome than a very active "practical" day!

Finishing off with my latest Stargate graphics:






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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing ...
Currently watching: 2½ Men
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Hopefully "get back on track", and deal with the situation I'm in right now.

From Bad To Worse!

This day turned out to be a not-so-great one, that's for sure!
I guess it was okay at first, but the more the day progressed, the worse it got! I can't say that something in particular happened to trigger this, but I guess I'm so completely torn apart by all the stress and the worry and the anxiety at the moment, that as soon as the smallest little thing won't work out, I break down completely!
I know it was exactly the same last fall, when I had been constantly stressing like crazy for months, than one day it snapped and I more or less collapsed ... that time it was on November 28, so I guess I coped for ten more days this year - does that mean I can hope to make it until Christmas next year?! *sigh*
Sorry ...

I have an extremely intense week ahead of me, and when I feel the way I do, I honestly don't know how to cope, what I will do!! I know it's easy to say that I 'have to try', or 'if I only get through a few days, it will be better', and 'the alternative is much worse' - and a number of other cliches like that - but it simply doesn't work like that!!
I don't know if it's like this for everyone, or if this is something related to severe anxiety problems, but sometimes at least I get to a point where it is impossible for me to do a certain thing. I cannot directly put it down to anxiety, because I often make the decision sitting alone in my couch - and I rarely experience anxiety there, even though what I'm about to do (or not do!) might cause anxiety, but it's just something inside me that screams at me, that this is impossible!!! At that point, I'm not rational, because it feels like it doesn't matter if the world will blow up - I cannot do whatever it is!!

I don't think I'm quite there just yet, I haven't decided yet, actually! A number of things complicate the matter at the moment - and I guess it's all the complications that make me feel so terrible right now! There are lots of things I could have "solved" in an at least tolerable way usually, but now a number of factors make that impossible, and the whole scenario turns into something extremely complicated!!

I have already come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting any sleep tonight, no matter what will happen, so I'm now drinking coffee and eating pain killers to get rid of a headache that's been following me most of the day!
I'm in for some heavy writing in my diary in order to try to sort through my emotions and options - and hopefully I might be able to reach a decision about the imminent future during the night ...

I'm sorry about this depressing entry, but today really has been very depressing!


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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: God Knows!
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: God Maybe Knows That Too? I know I don't ...

Annual Christmas Tradition Day!

Yesterday it was time for Annika's and mine Annual Christmas Tradition Day, when we meet up in Gothenburg, spend the day together, go to the Christmas market at Liseberg, exchange Christmas gifts etc. I honestly can't remember how many years it's been now (Annika, do you remember??), but I'd guess this was maybe the third or fourth year ...

This year we were going to combine it with my getting my Dad's car, so I can drive up (with Zorro) for Christmas holidays. So my Dad drove to Gothenburg, we met there, I got the carkeys and he took the train back home, and I drove.

For a change we had good weather this year - which we haven't before!! It was however raining and storming when I left yesterday morning, but by the time I got up to Gotheburg, the weather was considerably better - even though the sun didn't shine you could actually see some blue sky and it did NOT rain! Yay!
I met my Dad right away and he tried to explain where he'd put the car - as our usual parking spot had 'vanished' since last year!!





When he left it was time for me and Annika to start our Christmas tradition! Yay!
We started with lunch before we took a walk down to Liseberg! We also passed the parking where my Dad had put the car, so I knew where to go and how to get out of town later! :)
It was really nice to be able to go at Liseberg without getting soaking wet, it was light out so you could actually see stuff! Wonderful!



I really love the Christmas market there, it's so much Christmas spirit, lights everywhere, Christmas stuff everywhere and loads of people!! We mostly walked around but I did spent some money this year ... I found a really cheap Tolkien book that I couldn't resist, and I also bought some Christmas decorations. I'm collecting these cute Christmas cats - their grey-and-white striped with Santa's Hats *CUTE!* - so I bought a new one yesterday. And I also found a little Santa with two yellow-brown cats that looked just like Zorro and his brother Zimba, so I simply had to buy that too (I'm making it a Christmas present for Zorro!!).



We walked around for about two hours, before we decided we'd seen most of it - and then it was time for the long walk back to the railwaystation! It's strange, but the way back always seems soooooo much longer ... *weird!!* :)



We were supposed to check out this huge mall, just next to the station, but once we got there it was really packed with people, and extremely hot - I could hardly breath at all!! - so we skipped it! Instead we sat down at the station, ate some gingerbread cookies and exchanged Christmas gifts! Annika is spot on with her gifts - this year I got "The Simpsons Movie" - SO cool!!! A great gift, as it is something I really want, but I would probably never consider myself to afford it ... looking forward to seeing it!!!
Both me and Annika was pretty tired and worn out, so we decided on not staying too long! Annika took a bus after six, and I walked down to the parking, and was ready to set off south at exactly 6.30. I was a bit nervous, after all, I haven't driven since the beginning of August, but it worked out great! I had to do a U-turn at a big intersection in order to get out onto the freeway, but the intersection had traffic lights, so it worked out well, and the trip went really smooth! One bathroom-and-coffee break (10 minutes) and then the miles just passed by and I was home at 9.30 - Zorro was very happy!!!
Unfortunately he had a very hard time winding down, so I didn't fall aslepp until after midnight, and now I'm totally stressed out!!! I'll try to write more about today and the upcoming week tonight!

Some pics of the stuff I had with me from Gothenburg!

Stress Factor: Extremely High!

I honestly don't remember the last time I was this stressed out, actually! I'm currently having a pretty bad headache, and the plan was to copy about 40 pages of handwritten lecture notes on to the computer tonight ... and I have to get up no later than 5 a.m. tomorrow, for the trip to Gothenburg - AND I have to pack everything, wrap some presents etc .... yay me! NOT!!

I think the difference now from earlier times, is that I have SO much going on! I'm not really complaining, because a lot of it is fun stuff, but since it's SO much, and studies are extremely intense, the result is that I can never ever ever relax ....

I'm sorry, I'm not usually feeling as negative as this, but I have been trying my very best to be superefficiant today, and it feels like I've gotten nothing done at all, so now it's PANIC!!!

I should get started on those notes now ....
At least I hope I'm in for a fun day in Gothenburg tomorrow!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Various
Currently watching: Don't remember ... probably an old epi of Stargate SG-1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Christmas-Tradition-Day in Gothenburg with Annika

My Apologies ...

... for a short entry!
I have spent the last three hours intensly studying, and I'm now completely exhausted, so I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense here ...

What I did today?! I can hardly remember ... *general confusion*
I was up early, got a few hours studying done before going down to Malmö to meet my mentor for the last time, at least before Christmas. We went for coffee and talked for a few nice hours, before it was time to go back home.
I did some shopping and had also planned to check out this new store that opened today just by the railway station, but there was a line about 100 meters outside the store and there was no way I'd wait in line only to get in!! Guess I'll have to check it out some other time!

I was really tired when I got home, so I didn't get started on my studies until after 4 p.m. *STRESS* but I've been at it with varying intensity since then ... and now I feel more dead than alive!

* need * sleep * now *

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Various ...
Currently watching: Family Guy
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Shopping, STUDYING

An Intense Day!

This has been a very long and very intense day - with it's regular ups and downs!
I managed to get up early this morning for a change, as I felt a great need to write quite a lot in my diary this morning, in order to clear my mind and prepare myself for what lies ahead. I was at it at about 5.15 a.m. and spent the following 2½ hours writing like crazy!
After that I managed to get about an hour studying before I had to get ready to get into town! The train was late, and quite a bit late, and I'm seriously loosing patience with "Skånetrafiken" (the 'company' that deals with public transport here), because it is actually rare to find the trains are on time these day - very annoying! I ended up getting into town about half an hour later than I intended, so I wasn't in a good mood to start with!

I was supposed to shop for a gift for my mentor, as I'll be meeting her for the last time (at least in her capacity as a mentor, I do hope to be able to see her sometimes anyway!) tomorrow, but I had a really hard time finding something! I had an idea what to get her, but didn't buy it, since it was time to get to the Department for my lecture! I was supposed to talk to one of the secretaries, as the result of the course I took earlier hasn't been reported yet, but they were closed for lunch!
The lecture today was really intense, we hardly even got a break, and I was taking notes like crazy - despite the fact the my right hand felt like it went through a meat grinder!!

After lectures I had to wait for an hour to meet my student councellor, at first I ended up talking to Sara and Johanna - but I also managed to get some reading done.
I met the student councellor at 4 p.m. I haven't spoken to her before as 'my' student councellor quite earlier this semester, so it took a while to cover the basics. Then all of a sudden, it seemed like maybe all my planning had been wrong - the Swedish University Education System is undergoing a radical change now (that was put into effect this year), and since I have plans to continue with post-graduate studies I had been told I had to transfer to this new system, but now all of a sudden, maybe I could continue in the old system! Everything was totally confusing, but the student councellor called down the director of studies (who is responsible for post-graduate students) so he came (he's tought a course I took last fall, so he knew who I was!), but he didn't know anything about the new system either!!! *sigh*
We debated quite a while, but decided I should follow the new system - as I had planned - but change a few courses next semester ....
It felt like quite a mess, but in retrospect, I think it ended up pretty good actually!!!
I spent almost 45 minutes with the student councellor, and after that, I went to buy a gift for my mentor, Rebecka, and I think I found something that will work out!

I didn't get home until after 6 p.m. - and after having had dinner, I had a long conversation with my Dad about upcoming plans - we will meet in Gothenburg on Saturday, I will take the bus there, he'll drive, and then I'll take the car back with me (so I can ge tup to visit my families for Christmas holidays) and he'll take the train - and while I'm in Gothenburg, I'll meet Annika for our Annual Christmas Holiday Tradition ... so we had a few things to discuss about that ...
I really should have studied tonight, but I've been completely drained of energy, so I haven't gotten anything done ...

I have so much going on in my life - and I feel both good and bad about it! Bad about it, of course, as it means constantly stressing and feeling that I'm never doing enough, but also good, because I feel a will and a motivation to do all these things, wether it's lectures or seminars or dinner with friends or Christmas concerts or whatever - and earlier, I have mostly felt the need to escape it all ...

I'm rambling - AGAIN!!! Guess since I'm so tired, I have a hard time really focusing on saying what I want to say - instead I end up rambling! I hope you'll forgive me! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: God knows!
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Shopping, meeting Rebecka, STUDYING!

Back To Studies!

This morning was not really great, I had my mind set on "getting back on track", after yesterday's all-emotional-day, so I got up early, wrote a lot in my diary to clear my mind and was set on getting all my errands done as soon as the stores opened at ten! Yeah right!!
Everything that could possibly go wrong, did indeed go wrong, so it ended up taking way tooo long! I only had about 3 or 4 different things to do, but it ended up taking over 2 hours *sigh*
When I got home I found out that even more stuff at Uni are getting complicated!
Not only am I coping with two very demanding full time courses at the moment, I'm having major problems with the courses I'm going to take next semester, so I have a scheduled meeting with the student councellor tomorrow afternoon - although my councellor actually quit in September, so I'm going to a new one, which means it will take a lot of time just running through the background. On top of all that, I now found out that there's a "problem" with the department that deals with me having a mentor ... my mentor Rebecka won't be able to do it next semester, and I feel like I'm coping so well now, I don't need a new one (no one could be as good as Rebecka has been, for that matter!!), but the lady in charge just won't accept that ... so now I have to try to schedule a meeting with her too ... *sigh*

With everything that went on, and one thing going worse than the other, I didn't start studying until about 3 p.m. so now I'm completely stressed out over that! Also, I'm planning a day trip to Gothenburg with Annika - our annual Christmas tradition *yay* - but that has to coincide with my Dad bringing the car to Gotheburg so I can take it from there, and use it to go and visit my families for the holidays ....

Okay, I'm rambling, sorry! It's just that I really feel I need to study about 18-20 hours a day now, and I have about 100 other things that get in the way ... *stressing* *stressing* *stressing*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Mostly Uni-stuff
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Shopping, lectures, student councellor meeting, studies

Emotional Day!

Today has been a really emotional day for me, and I don't really like that! I sometimes tend to get very emotional, when my feelings take control of me, they do it completely, and it is almost a bit frightening to be so completely out of control and at the mercy of your emotions!

I know I'm in big trouble concering most things at the moment, the biggest things being Uni and upcoming Christmas holidays, but today has been spent almost in a vaccuum, I get completely wrapped up in my emotions and I can't connect to the reality of my life, the "real world" in any way! It's getting late now, I had hoped for a really early night, but I'm going straight to bed after this, because hopefully I can get up really early tomorrow and start working my way back into the "real world"! I know I don't have all the time in the world either, some things have deadlines (especially with regards to Uni) and there really are sooooo much stuff going on in my life right now!!! I'm hoping I will be able to deal with that tomorrow though, because today has been spent on the emotional level, rather than the practical one!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing ...
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing ....
My Plans for tomorrow: Studying, running some errands, heavy writing in my personal diary.

Julkonsert med Johnny Logan! [swedish]

(Sorry you guys who don't read Swedish, but there's no way I'd be able to review this Christmas Concert in English ... so this will be a Swedish blog entry. Hope you understand! Thanks!)


Dags igen för den årliga Julkonserten med Tonica-orkestern, under ledning av Peter Sjunnesson, som i år gästades av Carolina Jönsson, systrarna Jenny och Emma Freij samt ingen mindre än Johnny Logan!!!
Mycket trevligt!

I traditionsenlig anda började konserten med Tomtarnas julparad, till vilken hela orkestern bar tomteluvor! Mycket jul-igt!
Därefter sjöng de tre tjejerna Julen är här, vilket är en av mina personliga favoriter, och sedan avlöste jullåtarna varandra i rasande hastighet. Det blev t ex ett julmedley med Alice Tegnér-sånger, där publiken inbjöds till allsång i Pepparkaksgubbarna, men också lite allvarligare tongågar som First of May och Decembernatt.
Därefter dags för solisten: Johnny Logan!! En helt fantastisk röst, och mycket populär hos publiken - man såg t o m två irländska flaggor i publikhavet!! :) Han började med att sjunga sin hit-låt Hold me now, vilket var helt fantastiskt, och fortsatte med att sjunga två låtar från sin nya skiva, "Irish Connection" som kommer att släppas i Sverige snart!
Efter ytterligare några sånger, bl a en fin nytolkning av Tommy Körbergs Stad i Ljus (Sprid ditt ljus) med de fyra solisterna var det dags för paus.

Efter pausen körde orkestern igång med Sleigh Ride för att få alla i stämning igen och ganska snart kom Johnny Logan tillbaka med What's Another Year, en annan publikfavorit, utan tvekan! Det bjöds också på ett "American Christmas Medley" med olika amerikanska julsånger, innan det blev dags för ytterligare en allsång, den här gång den traditionella Dagen är kommen.
Konserten avslutades med att dirigent Peter Sjunnesson sjöng O Helga Natt, vilket verkligen är en stämningsful avslutning på en underbar konsert!
Ett extranummer bjöds det också på, förstås, vilket i år blev When You Wish Upon A Star.

En helt fantastiskt julkonsert även i år, som åtminstone har fått en del av julkänslan att infinna sig hos mig (har inte så lätt för att komma i julstämning)!!

Julen är här
Och lyser frid på jorden
Glädjen är stor
I ett barns klara ögon bor den

Julen är här
I våra mörka länder
Kom låt oss ta varandras händer
När julen är här

Christmas Decorations!

Before starting my "real" entry tonight, I'd like to show you a picture that is somewhat special! It's from the dinner with Sara and Johanna ... and my camera actually took this photo after it said "batteries depleted - camera is shutting down". Kinda cool!!
I was getting ready to take the photo, the flash was charging, the camera said that it was shutting down and then the flash went off - and I only discovered today that it actually took the picture! So enjoy!! *lol*




Today has been spent cleaning the apartment and putting up the Christmas decorations! I feel like I've been pretty efficient today, which is great, although I feel a bit bad about only having studied for about an hour. Planning on getting a few hours more done tonight though!
I always think it's a bit too complicated for my taste, getting the electrical stuff working - but I think I ended up doing it "right" this year, it wasn't that hard to get it working. But I now have five (!) different timers for different lights! Oops!
But it turned out pretty nice, don't you think?




I also made a special batch of ginger bread cookies (made with gluten-free flower), because even though I can eat regular ones now, I've gotten used to the taste of these ones from my child-hood, and I think they taste better than regular ones! :)

Zorro enjoyed himself when I brought up the Christmas box from the basement, but he got tired of it pretty quick this year - guess he remembers all the stuff we have now, right?! *lol*
I also tried to get a cute picture of him in a Santa's Hat ... did not work, he would have none of it!! But at least he let me take a photo of him next to the Santa Hat ... guess that's something though! :)




Well, I'm going to get those studies done before getting far to tired, I guess I'd better get on with it, now! Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Nothing today ... *oops*
Currently watching: The X-Files, season 5
Currently listening to: Cool Yule, Mary-Kate & Ashley
My Plans for tomorrow: Christmas concert with Johnny Logan will the 'the big thing'