Good And Bad And ... Confusing!

A confusing day today, to say the least! Most things good, some things bad and ... confusion!

We had Old Testament lectures at 8 this morning, and I was sooo tired, I'm actually surprise I made it to Uni - but I did!
Afterwards I started talking to a couple of other students. We started talking earlier this semester about collecting money and buying something for our professor at the end of the semester. For one thing, he's put up with all of us for an entire semester (*lol*), and second, he's retiring, so we will be the last class he'll ever teach!
We decided on collecting money, and after that, our professor decided he'd have a gathering-buffe'-thingy for all of us after the last lecture (on Monday), so that will be the perfect time to deliver our gift. Anyway, I started talking to them again today, and apparently, they more or less assumed I was in on it in an 'organizing capacity', just like them, because we were the ones who started talking about it - so all of a sudden, without hardly realizing what happened, I was deeply involved in deciding what we should buy and how we should arrange it, and before long, we headed off on a shopping spree! *lol*
We did really well actually, and found what we wanted to in about 1½ hours inbetween lectures, which felt really great!! Also, very new for me, to be so involved in something! It's not like I haven't contributed before, but I've usually wanted to take a backseat to everything - and now all of a sudden I found myself in the middle of it! Can't say that I absolutely loved it - but I didn't hate it either! :)

New lecture at 1.15 - or rather interpretation-presentations ... very intresesting, but I think there's been a little mistake in the lesson plan, putting these interpretations this late in the semester, because nobody bothers except with their own, and I think the point was that you were supposed to learn from the others as well ... Guess that might be something to think about in the future ...

We were done at about 2.50 p.m. but unforutnatley I haven't gotten much done at all this afternoon ... *ooops* I was totally exhausted when I got home, so I figured I could do some cleaning - which is very neccessary - as it doesn't require as much concentration as Hebrew studies ... but I haven't gotten much done at all! :( (that would be the 'bad' part of the title!)
I had hoped to stay home tomorrow, but since I didn't get much done today - not this afternoon, and I hardly had time to study inbetween lectures either, as we were busy hunting for gifts! - I figure I should be at Uni at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning for a full-study-day tomorrow!

And speaking of which - I should really head off to bed now so I can manage to get up tomorrow morning!!!
Take care!


Today's Blog Dedication: To Zorro - for being the best cat and the best friend EVER (even though I get tired and yell like an idiot at times!)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: One Buffalo, Two Buffali, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
My Plans for tomorrow: Full Day Studies at Uni - hopefully some cleaning ... and some errands

Celebration At Sofiero!

Today we had our big celebration at Sofiero Castle, a little bit north of Helsingborg!! Feeling just a little odd, since I have about two weeks left before I've finished this semester, but at least I could celebrate having sent in my last two papers on the Biblical Interpretations course!!





I met up with Sara, Johanna and Helene in Helsingborg, and it didn't take long before we reached Sofiero - and it was absolutely beautiful!!! A wonderful park, where everything was in full bloom - fantastic to see!! I could have photographed forever, but I tried to restrain myself a bit!!





We walked around for a while, and I really want to back and explore it further, I really liked it!! We found a nice lawn with a view of the ocean for our picnic and really had a lovely time! Just one little thing that wasn't that great, namely the fact that I knew I still have a lot of studying left, and I also knew that I'm gonna have to get up at 4 a.m. tomorrow for Old Testament lectures ... so I couldn't quite relax properly, and I also didn't drink much at all (I think it was two glasses of wine the whole time!) ... which made it a little less fun ... Okay, that sounded horrible, but if I had been able to relax more, I think I would have enjoyed it a bit more ... :) Still, I will be able to relax after the 12th!





I totally enjoyed the day, but the others decided to continue with a BBQ (along with Johanna's fiancé Per) tonight, but I really felt I had to go home. Unfortunately, due to the heat and the wine - and not enough water - I developed a throbbing headache - which I haven't managed to get rid of! That's why this entry will be shorter than I originally intended, but I at least wanted to write something about this day - and also show you some of the photographs! :)
Hopefully, I'll be able to write more about this in another entry, and also show more photos - I'm hoping I might get some photos in the mail from Sara and Helene, who also had their cameras!

Despite the headache - and the not-being-able-to-relax-properly-part of the day, I had a really wonderful time, and I consider myself very lucky to have friends like these to spend time with! (Something I couldn't even have imagined just two years ago!)

Today's Blog Dedication: To Helene, Johanna and Sara - for spending some quality time together! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Double Old Testament lectures, studies

Biblical Interpretation: GOOD BYE!

YES - I have finally emailed the last two papers to my professor and this course is finally over!!! Not before time either, because I have now exactly 15 days to learn everything I need to for my five-week-reading-course ... *gulp* Still, I feel pretty good tonight, because even though I'm stressed out over the reading course and have quite a severe headache, at least I'm done with the Biblical Interpretation course!
*YAY* *YAY* *YAY* *YAY*

Today has been rather rough though ...
I was working like crazy on the last paper yesterday ... I kept going until midnight, and by then I couldn't put a Swedish sentence together, so I stumbled to bed and fell asleep at about 12.30 ... had the alarm set at 4 a.m. and stumbled up. Was at work again at 4.45 and kept writing until 6, when I was ready to print my draft and get ready.
Lectures at 8, and I was feeling more dead than alive, so I had a bit of a hard time focusing ...
We were done at 10 and then I sat for almost 3 hours in the library, and started reading a book for my reading-course.
Another Old Testament lecture at 1, and by this time I was really worn out. Five students presented their interpretation-papers, so I didn't have to be quite so focused, which was kind of lucky, because I tended to drift away at times ... *ooops*
We were done at three, and then I ran some errands in town, before taking the train home. By then I was completely out-of-it, and I had a pretty bad dizzy spell on the city bus home, actually so bad I was afraid I was going to faint - and I never feel like that, not even during a panic attack ... so I guess I really was a bit too tired!
I got home with a pretty bad headache, so it took me about 1½ hours to get it reduced to bareable. Then Johanna called, which made it a bit better, and we started talking about tomorrow, when we're going on a picnic to a famous Swedish [former] castle, called Sofiero!! I feel a bit too stressed out to be completely happy about it, but after talking to Johanna, I really started to look forward to it as well! :) (Will bring back pictures tomorrow) Also good we're meeting early, because I can't afford to make it a late night - with a hangover the next day (particularly as I have lectures at 8!!)!

After Johanna called my mood improved a bit, so I changed the last details, and added a few paragraphs I had missed, to my two Biblical Interpretation papers, and actually sent them!!!!! Which means I'm FINALLY done with this course!!! It has been very tough getting through it (even though I've enjoyed it) and it has seriously felt like I've never ever gotten done, but now I finally finally AM DONE!
I have also decided that should this not be enough, and I will have to do more, or add or change things in order to pass, it will have to wait until August!! I can not give this course any more time, I must focus everything on getting the reading course going now ... so even if that means my grade will have to wait until August - so be it! And the positive side of it is: I can truly, truly say that I have left the Biblical Interpretations course behind me now!!!!
*YES*
Now I almost only have one course to focus on ... pretty cool!

My mind is feeling pretty out-of-it now, so I'm gonna go to bed early tonight - and hopefully get some work done on the reading course tomorrow before heading off on picnic! :)
Take care, guys!

Today's Blog Dedication:To Christopher Lee, who celebrates his 86th birthday today! Happy Birthday, Mr. Lee! (To me he will always be Bond villian Scaramanga, but below is a graphic of him as Saruman from 'Lord of the Rings')





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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Les Miserables Deutsche Originalaufnahme
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies, picnic with friends

IT NEVER ENDS!!!

Sorry about the title, but I'm just so exhausted and I just feel like dropping every book I own in the ocean - and probably follow in there myself as well!

I started at 6 a.m. this morning (skipped the tour to Uni in order to save time) and started reading this English book ... I had 265 pages left of it, and with 5-10 minute-breaks every hour, I was done by 4 p.m. - with my eyes hurting like Hell!
I took a break and went downtown for some quick grocery shopping! Got home, ate a little, and started again at about 6-6.30 ... this time with writing the paper. I've been at it since then - it's after 10.30 now and I've done HALF!!!!
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Now I can't keep my eyes open, and I REALLY wanted to finish tonight! I have double Old Testament-lectures tomorrow, which means I won't be home until after 4 p.m. and I WANTED to have this over and done with .... but I have no earthly idea how I'm supposed to summerize about 200 pages into two right now ... everything is blurry ... *deep deep sigh*

I really liked this course, well, I guess I still do, it was very exciting and I have learned a great deal from it, but right now, it feels like I'm gonna go on and on and on and on with assignments on this course till I'm 50 years old, at least!!!!!
I can't really gulp down 5 cups of coffee now either, to cope with the rest, since I have to get up at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning in order to get to Uni on time for the first lecture - and I think I'm gonna need more than a couple of hours of sleep if I'm gonna cope with a full day at Uni ....
God, what a MESS!!!

Sorry about these horrible entries lately ... One level of me really does feel good, I'm - like I said in a previous entry - coping with things I haven't coped with before, I have done a really good semester (up until now at least), I'm having friends and almost starting to have what could constitute as a social life (never really thought that would happen!) and those things really make me feel GOOD! On the other hand, this stress of studying is really really getting to me, and it's making me feel awful!!!
*feeling very confused now*

Okay, moving on to something entirely different!
I've been meaning to start something a little new on my blog, I really had intended to get started once I'd reached 10,000 visitors, but things have been so insane, I really haven't had the energy for it ... I guess I'm not really full of energy right now either, but here we go.
I've been reading Joseph Mallozzi's blog lately (for those of you who don't know: he's one of the Executive Producers of Stargate: Atlantis), and he has a nice little tradition of "blog dedication" ... almost every entry is dedicated to one (or more) of his readers for various reasons ... and I thought this was a really cool idea!
It is okay to make requests for a blog dedication (if you have an exam coming up, a birthday coming up, feeling sick and needs cheering up or some 'special occasion'), although I will ultimately choose who will get it (after all, it is my blog, right? *lol*). Also, I might not make a blog dedication every day or every entry, but I will try to include it as often as possible! And today I have the perfect blog dedication to start off with:

Today's Blog Dedication: SARA who turns 25 today!! *HAPPY BIRTHDAY!*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: What Have They Done to the Bible? John Sandys-Wunch
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Double Old Testament lectures, studies

Rough Weekend!

Sorry about the lack of updates here lately ... this weekend hasn't been much fun at all!
I haven't been feeling very well, neither physically nor mentally, so it's been sort of a mess, and I have fallen even more behind on my studies! *deep sigh*
I think I honestly am trying, these days it just seems that no matter how much I do, it's never ever enough ....

I have more or less finished one paper, but I have about 250 pages to read and another paper to write, before I can even start on my reading course ... they estimate you need five weeks to complete such a course, and tomorrow, it's 2½ weeks until my exam ... way to go - NOT!!

I'll try not to be too depressing, I know I have had a semester better than anything I could have dreamed about, and most of my social phobia problems are still more or less gone now, I cope with things hardly without thinking about them, which is REALLY amazing ... it would just be such a terrible blow if I fail with everything now in the last minute ...
And there I go being negative again ... sorry ...

I'd better write about something completely different than studies now (though I find it hard to find such topics these days!)!
I recieved some photos of my younger sisters the other day and I HAD to scan them - they have grown sooooo much, particularly I (the youngest)!!!


Two outdoor girls!
(I just adore I's hat, I bought it to her for Christmas ... sooo cute!)


Two BIG girls! :)



Rather than falling back to my previous negative writing, I think I'd better sign off with these cute pictures and head back to my books! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: What have they done to the Bible? (John Sandys-Wunch)
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Stars, Les Miserables Manchester Cast (Philip Quast)
My Plans for tomorrow: Full-day study-session at the library

Starting To Fear!

While I'm generally in not-a-too-bad-mood now, there is one thing that is really starting to disturb me now, and I'm not sure if I can work at making it go away either ...
I know I have accomplished quite a lot this semester, more than I had thought at the outset of it, and I really am very proud at how things have gone now. But I am starting to fear I might not be able to go through with it all now ... I mean, go through with it in a way that I'm actually passing my courses!! Since March 31st I have read three courses at the same time, two full-time and one half-time, and I think I have done a good job of it. I'm going to have to get grades on one full-time (Biblical Interpretation) and the half-time reading course now - different kinds of exams but still - and if I don't cope with that, if I fail to hand in papers or if I fail at them, or the oral exam on the reading course ... nothing I've done since the end of March will matter! Okay, that might at first glance sound like overreacting - but I really don't think so!! Okay, I have aquired some knowledge, which is always good, but if I fail these courses, practically, there will be HELL to pay!! Biblical Interpretation will probably not be solved until August or even September, if it doesn't work out now - and that will lead to problems getting accepted to next semester's courses as well as financial problems .... and if I fail the reading course, I'm not sure I can take another exam for this teacher, because he will be retiring after this semester, and then it will be a great, big deal trying to solve that - so in effect, nothing of what I have done, none of the time and the energy I have put in since March 31st will have mattered ...

Now I know I have't always been a model student (at least not before this semester), I've been putting things off, having problems getting things done etc. - and then you somehow have only yourself to blame if things doesn't work out.
But now I am really working my butt off, and I'm so exhausted, at times it's just not possible to study (I can actually look at a text in Swedish, and the letters keep bouncing around, so I can't read it ... that can't be good, right?!) ... and the hours and days pass by and I don't think I will have enough time to prepare and do what I have to do!

Unfortunately, these thoughts have really stuck with me now, which is rather tough to deal with. I'm still pretty able to focus on studying, providing I'm not far to tired, but I'm afraid these thoughts will take over more and more ....

Okay, that was a bit depressing ... sorry!
We had two Old Testament lectures today, first a "normal" one at 8 a.m. and then in the afternoon, four of the members of the group presented their interpretation-papers. It was great knowing I wouldn't have to do anything (since I already have a grade in that course, I decided not to take on another project and write it!). The presentation was quite tough, not quite like an opposision on an essay, but quite close, where the author more or less had to defend their work ... at first I felt almost petrified, and being ever so thankful I didn't have to go through that - but after I while I really felt like, if I had had the time, and done what I myself had considered a good job, I actually would have wanted to present it like that!!! It felt very rewarding, everybody got lots of feedback, our professor is the kindest man, but he's also quite demanding, so it would certainly have been a great challenge to do it ... (and trust me when I say I cannot believe I'm actually feeling this way, because it's SO FAR AWAY from the person I have been for my entire life, except all of a sudden ... now ....

A not so happy note is my health right now. I'm usually quite healthy, physically, but right now I'm not feeling the best, and I think I'll blame pollen combined with exhaustion!! I'm not sure if I'm really allergic to pollen (in a medical sense), but I do feel disturbed if there are lots of pollen ... and now it's been fairly bad actually, and in combination with the warm weather we've been having, I'm quite often experiencing difficulties breathing ... which isn't a pleasant feeling!! The air is quite bad at the Department as well, especially in the library, and I'm truly experiening that I can't breathe! If I sit in a certain 'study-room' at the library, I actually have to go out at least once every half-hour and rinse off in the bathroom ... *sigh*
I didn't even experience anything like this during my worse anxiety-periods, so I'm quite disturbed by it! I'm sure it's nothing dangerous, but it is quite an uncomfortable feeling!

Tonight I have taken a little break from studies, I was really tired when I got home, so instead of studying I have done some cleaning - which is something I totally neglect when I have this much studying going on ... didn't get through that much, but I did some clearing and got through most of the kitchen and the bathroom - points for effort, right?

Now I'm in for an early night, so I can get up early! I'm planning on a full-day-studying-in-the-library tomorrow, so I should be there when they open tomorrow at 9.

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in tradition, John Breck
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Bustopher Jones, Cats (Original London Cast)
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at the library, studies at home

Should Be Finished, But ...

We had the last lecture on the Biblical Interpretation course today, so technically I should be finished now ... which of course I'm not! I still have two (or 1½) books to read and write papers on (8 pages in total!) .... and I really need to get it done in a day or two (good luck to me, right?!), because then I have almost all of my reading course left, and if I'm supposed to get through all that stuff - and hopefully have some time for repetition as well - I NEED to get started ... SOON!

Even though I might sound a bit agitated, I have had a good day today! We had Old Testament lectures this morning, and I coped even though I was completely unprepared ... then Biblical Interpretation, and after that some of us from that course had lunch and a chat together, which was quite nice ...

I am however frustrated that it seems neither my energy nor the time will be enough for me to complete this semester ... I really am trying, as hard as I can, but sometimes I'm so exhausted I simply can't get any studying done! Unfortunately, time flies by anyway, so I'm constantly stressing like an idiot!! I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope I can cope these last few weeks and get results on both my courses, then I'm going to just ENJOY not having to live under such enormous strain and stress ....

I'd better get to bed, I have to get up at 4 a.m. so I'd best get some sleep at least!
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in Tradition, John Breck
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Two Old Testament lectures, studies!

Amazing 10000!

Wow, I can't belive it!! 10,000 visistors!!! Quite amazing!! *big, goofy smile*
10,000 visitors in exactly 1 year, 8 months to the day!!! Cool!!!
Thank you all SO much for visiting my blog, I do hope you're enjoying it! ;) Any comments, thoughts or suggestions on improvements are naturally more than welcome!

I realize I should have done something really special on this 10,000th visitor-day, but unfortunately due to the stress I'm under now, I really can't! You have seen the lovely, yet virtual, cake, to celebrate, but that's as far as I can get unfortunately! Still, I'm very happy to see this blog has had so many visitors!

I don't have much new to write about - I'm mostly in a terrible mood right now! I know I shouldn't, but I am and it's driving me insane because I can't get anything done! *sigh* I did manage to get my final paper (don't let that fool you, I still have to papers to hand in for that course, that are overdue!) finished so I emailed it to my professor, but I should have done SO much more which I haven't!
So I'm in quite a bad mood!

Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning!
Take care - and thanks again to all my visitors! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Some orthodox church-book
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, Biblical Interpretation lecture, picnic with Biblical Interpretation course, studies

Congratulations Russia!

First of all a huge congratulations to Russia, who won the Ice Hockey World Championships!!! Since Sweden didn't make it, I was cheering for Russia (sorry guys, but I don't like the Canadian ice hockey team), and it felt wonderful that they won! Everybody thought Canada would win for sure, since it was played in Quebec, and they are a great team - so nice job, Russia! :) Also, this was their first win since 1993 or something, so they sure deserved it.
Feeling a bit embarrased, but I have to say that the two Swedish umpires didn't do a great job of it, especially in the first period. They got better and better, so I guess some of the Swedish pride might be saved after all! ;)

What's new in my life?!? A bit fat nothing!! I'm working like crazy on a final paper for my Biblical Interpretations course (though I have two other papers left that I should have handed in earlier *sigh*) and it's taking forever, it feels like I'm never getting it done! And time is about to run out now, I am quickly realizing that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I simply have to sleep at least some of them ... but time is still running out!

I'm having a little down period right now, but I'm hoping I can work my way out of it, because I certainly don't have time to go around moping about stuff at this point! I still really want to finish this semester as intended, but sometimes it's hard not to let the negative feelings get to you!

Still, I'm usually feeling worse during weekends, at least that has been common for this semester - for some reason I seem to cope better during the week, so I guess I should be happy it's Sunday night, right?! ;)

Hope you had a great weekend and will have a nice week ahead of you!
My thoughts tonight to someone very dear to me, who isn't feeling the best at the moment! *sending happy thoughts your way*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpretation stuff - STILL!
Currently watching: Ice Hockey World Championships
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at Uni, meeting a friend, and more studies!

Kind of Mad!

Today has been a very up-and-down day ... so I'm not quite sure how I feel - but I am mad! (Details will follow)

Old Testament lecture this morning, as usual. Nothing special happened there, so there's not much to elaborate on. At 10 I went to the library, trying to work on the Biblical Interpretation Final Paper. It was ever so slow, but at least I managed to get something done! Also met a few nice people (mostly from the course) to talk to!

We had the seminar at 1, and I think it worked a bit better this time, I felt the discussions going on were more rewarding, and I got some hints and ideas on what to look for when I complete my paper!
We gathered when it was about 20 minutes left, and there came the sorce of my madness. I really like this professor, he's very nice and helpful and friendly ... but he tends to be over-ambitious!! When we got the instructions for this paper it was quite a lot to do - mostly reflecting on your own person and background and how and why you choose to interpret the text as you do, but also a lot of litterature to take into account! However, the page limit was 6 pages, no more. I can understand a page limit, it's there for a good reason, but it felt difficult to be able to cover everything in 6 pages. And since then, he's added more and more and more and more stuff we're supposed to do!!! And that totally upsets me! You should without a doubt give all the instructions at the same time!!!!!!! I certainly appreciate help and advice later on, on how you should proceed with your work, but you should not include new assignments one time after another. This time we got some major questions - like "What is text?", "What status to do you give your text?", "What is the text's context in your perspective of interpretation?" (yes, these are direct translations - he actually talks that way!!) Gee, having such a discussion could easily cover a few pages!!
I really do understand that he wants to limit us, otherwise this paper can turn into something huge, but you must make it reasonable!! If we are to have a decent discussion about everything he says we should include, there is no way possible to limit it to six pages - it's impossible! And how do you know what to leave out, when the professor actually tells you to do it?!!?
*frustration big time*

Sorry about my little outburst, but this has really bothered me all day!! I really like this course, it fits me perfectly, it's interesting and demanding, and I've learned a lot about myself as a person, and how I tend to look at things and interpret things (and not only Biblical texts!), and that is going to be a great help in the future - but to handle an assignment in this way is not good!

One nice thing about Biblical Interpretation is that we decided to have a picnic after the last lecture, which is next Wednesday! :) A bit ironic though - I'm going to three "end-of-semester-celebrations" now, one for Biblical Interpretation, one with some friends (a bit more 'private'), and one for Old Testament (the professor is retiring, so we're his last group, and he decided to invite us to a buffé to celebrate the end of the semester and the end of teaching for him!) - but none of them take place after I'm actually done with this semester!!!
Biblical Interpretation is on Wednesday, my friends are I are 'celebrating' on May 28th and the Old Testament-group will have their get-together on June 2nd ... and my final exam isn't until June 12th! *lol*
Still, I have done SO well this semester, I have every cause to celebrate, even though I'm not done with everything! :)

Otherwise, not much to report! I should have prepared about 20 Bible verses for Old Testament tomorrow, but they were quite difficult and I'm totally exhausted now, so I'm gonna get to bed. Hopefully I can get up early tomorrow, catch an early train, and get some studying done at Uni before lectures (if I leave here at about 6.30, I can be at the Deparment around 7.25, which should at least give me a solid half hour for studies!
Good night!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpreation stuff
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 1
Currently listening to: Les Misérables - Danish recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lectures, studying at Uni, studying at home and oh, yeah - STUDYING!