Today has been one of the longest days of my life - and one of the harder ones too.
Late last night, I discovered Zorro isn't doing so well right now. He's having a hard time using the litter box, and there's been a fair amount of blood in his stool (which is very loose and just ... strange) - so I'll be calling a veterinarian first thing tomorrow morning.
I don't know anything about these things, I have no idea how serious this is or what it could be - but since Zorro is old now (he's 13½ years old, and generally you say cats of his breed lives for about 10 years) I know I won't do a lot of treatments or invasive procedures on him ...
So if this is not a problem that is very easily fixed ("it will get better of its own" or "give him a pill for 10 days and he will be over it" basically), I will make the decision to put Zorro to sleep.
I have been extremely tense all day, and suffered a nasty headache so I have had problems focusing on anything else besides this. I know there's nothing I can do, and I have to wait and see what the vet thinks and says about all this, but it's impossible for me not to think about it.
I know Zorro has had a really good life, and I know that hard times lies ahead that will affect him badly, but just the thought of going home alone tomorrow and having to start clearing away all of his things makes my heart just tear ....
This has been a very long day indeed, I only slept a few hours last night, and I doubt I'll sleep any more than that tonight - but this is the way things are right now and I simply have to work my way through it.
I cannot guarantee an entry tomorrow, depending on what happens - but no doubt will I sooner or later let you know what is going on.
3 comments:
Thinking about you. *HUGS*
I understand this must be a very difficult time for you...I hope Zorro will be ok, and that it will end up being something they can fix... losing a pet is not an easy thing, but I do know you will do whatever is best for Zorro. lots of hugs! Let me know if you need to talk ! *thinking of you*
Dakota: Thanks! *hugs*
The Darkest Night: Thanks sis - yeah, today has not been an easy day. I'm mostly hoping for it to be a fairly easy decision, mostly. Zorro is old, and he has very hard times ahead (my December-January-February are basically HELL for me, and therefore for him as well), and I know that sooner or later I won't have him any more ... I'm mostly dreading if there's a situation where 'maybe he'll be okay, if/when we do this and that', because it'll be difficult to know what is best for him then. If he's not that sick, fine! If he's really sick, I'm going to have to deal with that as well. It's the "middle-thing", I would have a hard time dealing with.
Sorry about the rambling ....
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