Monday, 15 August 2011

9 months. Loved Always. Missed Forever.





I can't quite grasp the fact that it's been nine months since I said goodbye to Zorro and walked out of the pet clinic alone ... I know they say grieving takes time, and I am living through that now, but I am amazed at how crystal clear all my thoughts and memories of Zorro are.
I'm not complaining, quite the opposite!! Right after he died I was SO scared that the memory of him would eventually fade away, and I am realizing that is not the case.
But sometimes I'm almost frightened at how intense the memories are ... mostly when I go to bed at night. Since I got back home after the summer I haven't been sleeping well, and every night when I turn the lights out, no matter how tired I am, I am thrown into some virtual reality or a huge 360 degrees movie theatre where I'm seeing Zorro ... and not just seeing him, I can see every detail of his fur, I can see his teeth, I see the black little spot he had in his eye and the green insurance marker they stapled his ear with. I can hear him in surround sound, and I feel his body against mine, I feel his soft fur on my hands, I feel his tongue licking my face, I feel his paws on my shoulders when we were hugging.

It is difficult to deal with the grief when the memories of Zorro are still so vivid and alive - and yet, like I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I always knew we had a strong bond between us. Already when my Mum had both Zorro and his brother Zimba, I always got along better with Zorro, for some reason. And the bond between us has only grown stronger and stronger over the 10½ years we got together. I knew we had something special between us, and I think I tried to value the time we had and tried not to waste it - but it's just now, after he's passed away, that I'm realizing just how strong the bond between us was.
We always had each other, and in a way we were quite alike. I am a very private person, and while I have become more outgoing lately, there are certain things I cannot share with ANYONE ... but in a way I shared them with Zorro (of course, I didn't outright talk to him about them but we still shared them in a way). And Zorro was very social and outgoing and loved having people around him ... but he never relaxed in anyone's lap but mine, and he never ever purred with anyone except with me.
So when it was rough for one, or both, of us, we had this; "It's us against the world"-thing, and I don't think I quite realized that until after he was gone ...

While the grief sometimes is knocking me to my knees (both figuratively and literally speaking!), I still hope the memory of Zorro will always be as alive and as clear in my mind as it is right now. I feel like I owe him that.

R.I.P. My Love.
Zorro - 5 July 1997 ~ 15 November 2010
Loved Always.
Missed Forever.

8 comments:

Dakota said...

RIP Zorro :(
*HUGS!*

Usemeplz said...

RIP Zorro... My cat is 11, and I can't imagine if he'll be dead...sorry

The Darkest Night said...

*hugs*

Jessica said...

Thank you everyone ...

Usemeplz: It's difficult, that's for sure. I didn't have any pets before Zorro and he shared a very difficult period of my life, so I find it difficult going on without him, even though he's been gone a long time now. I don't think the sorrow and grief will ever go away ...

nail fungus said...

I suggest you to take a get a new pet. By playing with the pet we can reduce our stress too.

hemorrhoids said...

Ya social circle also helps you to get out from the sorrows.

computer assisted Joint replacement said...

The internet or the social services also help you to remain unstressed and healthy.

christian louboutin uk store sale said...

e "largely because it relies on an occasional problem to justify a blanket prohibition."Nonetheless, the district court invoked this theory in order to deem the Red Sole Mark a "monopoly on the color red." Though the court posits Prada uk
"Louboutin would thus be able to market a total outfit in his red, while other designers would not," Louboutin's trademark registration specifically limits the red mark t

t her stand on their own and Lee's middle, could not conceal his gaze full of tenderness, then goes on to break down the Shenzi An atmosphere of some weird: "You children can not always be so self-willed, to listen to her mother's words do not trouble you know? "Shen with your mother caught in the middle of two, listening to the words of Fang should only nodded and said: "My daughter knows, and yo

thsonian to view a pair. Who knew this 1939 movie about Kansas,prada Flap Handbags
witches and wizards would become so epic....maybe visionaries like J.K. Rowlings. Harry Potter memorabilia anyone?Being big fans of both fancy shoes and fashion exhibitions here at Grazia Daily, we are very excited to announce a few further details of the Christian Louboutin exhibition at the Design Museum in London . . . which is

on the halo? Rush out to help his father treatment, the results of trauma patients are just to ..."Shen did not include other finished, Feng Shen wing it outwards strode away, never looking back, said: "I went to carry him back!"Seeprada Fringed Handbags
it would not normally have little more to guanputou's eldest son, today is like a different person, party's good mood up, took the hand with Shen said: "Before your f