This last week felt strange in many ways - as a lot of things actually were really good, but I still kept feeling very bad the entire time (well, almost anyway).
I can't go into detail, mostly because I am confused about it myself, so I guess I'll just try to put this week behind me and hoping for better - and less confusing! - times ahead!
The weekend has, surprisingly, worked out really well. For several years I have had some difficulties with weekends, but this one has been really good actually. I have gotten a lot of things done, and even though I feel I am in a place where I can always do ten or twenty or two hundred times what I am doing - I feel quite content with what I have gotten done.
Unfortunately the plan I made yesterday won't quite work out ... things ended up taking a lot longer than I thoughts, so in order to make next week work out in a good way I think I'm going to have to revise my plan a little. But I guess that's not the end of the world either, right? :)
I will spend the entire day tomorrow in Lund ... studying, copying and printing, handing in some complements to my job application, attending an OT lecture, more studying and yeah ... studying! :)
At least that's the plan ...
I hope you all had a great weekend!
Showing posts with label feeling confused. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feeling confused. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Monday, 20 September 2010
Happy Anniversary!! 2006-2010!
Okay, I just realized that the blog entry title might be misunderstood but the Swedish readers - we've just had our election (yesterday), and the last election we had was 2006! Well, the "Happy Anniversary!"-part has nothing to do with Swedish Elections, but with the fact that this blog now has been online for four years! :)
And has gotten 25,000+ readers - amazing!! Here's hoping for several more years of blogging! :)
As for the whole election thing, it's the general topic of all Swedes at the moment, I think - because it's been kind of a historic election! It's way to complicated to try to explain the Swedish government system in English - but for the first time in a long time Sweden has gotten a new political party entering parliament ... one that is basically racist (on top of it none of the other political blocks has gotten majority, which means this party will have a lot to say in upcoming political decisions!) ... I haven't talked to anyone who isn't truly appalled by what has happened and it's the general topic of conversation no matter where you turn now!
On a more personal note, the whole confusion theme continues!! Some things in my life are really great and other things are really awful, and I have a hard time coping with that!! Today I ended up with a migraine most of the day, which definitely spoiled all my plans! I have a deadline to complete on Wednesday and let's just say ... I will have a very hard time turning in something decent by Wednesday ...
Things haven't been really great this past month ... I guess I can always say I hope it will change, and I will work for a change - but it's hard to stay positive when things just seem to feel awful all the time, no matter what you do ...
Ah well, I still have a really severe headache, so I don't think I'll be able to sleep anything tonight - which will make tomorrow even harder to take on! Apart from trying to spend all day at Uni, we have some information meeting in the afternoon about the complete bathroom renovation that will take place first thing 2011 - not looking forward to that, as it tends to be .... surprising!! You expect the worse possible scenario and it ends up being even worse ...
Guess I should at least try to get some rest, as the headache is putting an effective stop to any kind of studies (it felt better for a while tonight, but now it is developing into another migraine! *sigh*)!
Take care!
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Coming Back - to 24000!!
This last month has been quite difficult, and keeping up my blogging has actually been the last thing on my mind ... I think I'm through the worse of it now, although a lot of things are still very confusing and a bit disturbing.
I was thrilled to come back and see my visitors having reached 24000!! I'm quite impressed that people have visited since I haven't updated at all lately ...
I'm hoping to be able to start this blog up again, I know it hasn't been updated regularly for a very long time, but all I can say to that is that this entire semester has been most difficult and quite hard to tackle ... Still, all you can do is hope for a better future, right?! :)
I will be back later tonight with a "general update" and also some pictures!
I'd like to finish this entry off with a bit of GOOD news!!
A few days ago I got my diploma for the first three years of my education, so I now Officially Have a
Bachelor of Arts in Theology!
Wooohoooo!!!
(There were a lot of years where I didn't think that would ever happen).
Here a picture to prove it! *lol*
I was thrilled to come back and see my visitors having reached 24000!! I'm quite impressed that people have visited since I haven't updated at all lately ...
I'm hoping to be able to start this blog up again, I know it hasn't been updated regularly for a very long time, but all I can say to that is that this entire semester has been most difficult and quite hard to tackle ... Still, all you can do is hope for a better future, right?! :)
I will be back later tonight with a "general update" and also some pictures!
I'd like to finish this entry off with a bit of GOOD news!!
A few days ago I got my diploma for the first three years of my education, so I now Officially Have a
Bachelor of Arts in Theology!
Wooohoooo!!!
(There were a lot of years where I didn't think that would ever happen).
Here a picture to prove it! *lol*
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Still Alive - Kinda!
I really was trying to update this blog on a more regular basis, but these last few weeks my life has been a complete roller coaster!! Some really good stuff has happened, and some really bad stuff, and in my head it's just one major confusion!!
Easter this year wasn't ... well, let's just say it wasn't the best thing that's ever happened to me (no major crisis but still not-so-great), but I seem to have made that my low point, because even though not everything is super-great now, I think I have generally started coping better after the holidays! (What can I say, I don't like holidays, period!)
My main problem right now is I'm constantly exhausted!! I try to eat a lot of vitamins but no, I don't get out much or exercise as much as I should, basically because I can't find the time! It's a vicious circle, no doubt, because if I took the time, maybe I should feel better and have more energy to get things done, but since I feel I don't have the time, I'm constantly tired and it's getting really tough to get things done!!
I'm in for tough times ahead as well ... I have an oral exam in ONE WEEK - which is VERY frightening as I have SO MUCH STUFF to get through until then ... so basically that's all I'm doing now. It's a course on the end of The Gospel of Mark (chapters 11-16), so it's all the Greek text (which is a lot!!), one commentary, another book and an article ... *gulp*
I'm living, breathing, eating and sleeping The Gospel of Mark now, and I hope I'll be able to make this exam work out.
Also, it's for a teacher I've never had before, so I have no idea what level he wants to keep it on, what expectations he's going to have ... so that adds to the anxiety.
After that I'm going to complete my first level thesis, which I'm hoping shouldn't be THAT difficult, it's basically a matter of sitting down and getting it done. One problem ... yes ... I have to go through an entire book in German! I too German in high school, but Good Lord, that's a very long time ago. I can "kinda" get through it, but not in a really satisfactory way. Still, I know I'm gonna need to be able to do this if I'm going to continue the way I want to, so I guess it's just a matter of dealing with it, park myself in the library with a thick old German-Swedish dictionary and hope for the best! :)
I also have to start thinking about my master's thesis in a more substantial way than before. The plan now seems to lean toward writing it during the summer, which means I have to have a really detailed plan for that before summer starts and my professor heads off on vacation.
Still have the Religion, tradition, communication course to contend with now. I can't even remember how much I've written about that MESS here, but I have no energy to get into it now. It was a huge big mess which resulted in the fact that I have some complementary work to do there, but it seems to take a while before I find out what ... I don't like that either, I'd rather know what I have to do than having it come down as a great big surprise all of a sudden ...
If I can start feeling a little more energetic in the future I'm hoping to keep updating this blog - but as it's been now, I just haven't coped. When I get home around 6 p.m. (I always leave at 6.40 a.m. in the morning now) I'm like a zombie, I can barely cope to get something to eat before collapsing in front of the TV - which isn't good as I should get at least a few hours of studying done at home as well ...
But, let's hope I can get some more energy soon. Unfortunately, spring time has never been good for me ... and I can get a bit frustrated (though I mean no harm of course) at everyone being completely ecstatic about spring and the light and the warmth and the beautiful flowers - as I tend to have my worse moods during spring ...
Now it's best I get back to Mark ... take care!
Oh by the way, I realized I still have a lot of "favourite-photos" that didn't make it to the blog. I'll give you all of them now, enjoy! :)
Easter this year wasn't ... well, let's just say it wasn't the best thing that's ever happened to me (no major crisis but still not-so-great), but I seem to have made that my low point, because even though not everything is super-great now, I think I have generally started coping better after the holidays! (What can I say, I don't like holidays, period!)
My main problem right now is I'm constantly exhausted!! I try to eat a lot of vitamins but no, I don't get out much or exercise as much as I should, basically because I can't find the time! It's a vicious circle, no doubt, because if I took the time, maybe I should feel better and have more energy to get things done, but since I feel I don't have the time, I'm constantly tired and it's getting really tough to get things done!!
I'm in for tough times ahead as well ... I have an oral exam in ONE WEEK - which is VERY frightening as I have SO MUCH STUFF to get through until then ... so basically that's all I'm doing now. It's a course on the end of The Gospel of Mark (chapters 11-16), so it's all the Greek text (which is a lot!!), one commentary, another book and an article ... *gulp*
I'm living, breathing, eating and sleeping The Gospel of Mark now, and I hope I'll be able to make this exam work out.
Also, it's for a teacher I've never had before, so I have no idea what level he wants to keep it on, what expectations he's going to have ... so that adds to the anxiety.
After that I'm going to complete my first level thesis, which I'm hoping shouldn't be THAT difficult, it's basically a matter of sitting down and getting it done. One problem ... yes ... I have to go through an entire book in German! I too German in high school, but Good Lord, that's a very long time ago. I can "kinda" get through it, but not in a really satisfactory way. Still, I know I'm gonna need to be able to do this if I'm going to continue the way I want to, so I guess it's just a matter of dealing with it, park myself in the library with a thick old German-Swedish dictionary and hope for the best! :)
I also have to start thinking about my master's thesis in a more substantial way than before. The plan now seems to lean toward writing it during the summer, which means I have to have a really detailed plan for that before summer starts and my professor heads off on vacation.
Still have the Religion, tradition, communication course to contend with now. I can't even remember how much I've written about that MESS here, but I have no energy to get into it now. It was a huge big mess which resulted in the fact that I have some complementary work to do there, but it seems to take a while before I find out what ... I don't like that either, I'd rather know what I have to do than having it come down as a great big surprise all of a sudden ...
If I can start feeling a little more energetic in the future I'm hoping to keep updating this blog - but as it's been now, I just haven't coped. When I get home around 6 p.m. (I always leave at 6.40 a.m. in the morning now) I'm like a zombie, I can barely cope to get something to eat before collapsing in front of the TV - which isn't good as I should get at least a few hours of studying done at home as well ...
But, let's hope I can get some more energy soon. Unfortunately, spring time has never been good for me ... and I can get a bit frustrated (though I mean no harm of course) at everyone being completely ecstatic about spring and the light and the warmth and the beautiful flowers - as I tend to have my worse moods during spring ...
Now it's best I get back to Mark ... take care!
Oh by the way, I realized I still have a lot of "favourite-photos" that didn't make it to the blog. I'll give you all of them now, enjoy! :)
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Big-Time Confusion!
Apologies for the lack of updates this week. Things have just spiralled and gotten worse and worse this week and I think I landed in some apathetic mental state yesterday!
Now I'm quickly realizing I can't stay there if I'm going to cope with this semester, so I'm hoping I will be able to make a comeback during the day today and hopefully I'll be able to start dealing with everything tomorrow ...
I'm sorry I'm being so very vague about everything, but to be honest, I don't really feel totally comfortable about sharing my most personal issues in a public blog... There are lots of things going on now that aren't so great - my study situation isn't the best, and I'm wondering whether or not to try and do something about that, the future seems mostly like a big black hole, which is a bit disconcerting ... I've run into some financial problems ... It seems like my Dad is really ill, though he won't tell me much about it, nor see a doctor, so that has me worried quite a bit.
I'm hoping I will be able to be more constructive during this week, addressing at least some of the problems that have been piling up and hopefully also be able to solve at least a few of them ...
I'm hoping for more updates during next week, if I can find a solution to some problems, I think it will be easier for me to write about them too - so fingers crossed, hey?! :)
I hope you all had a great weekend!!
Now I'm quickly realizing I can't stay there if I'm going to cope with this semester, so I'm hoping I will be able to make a comeback during the day today and hopefully I'll be able to start dealing with everything tomorrow ...
I'm sorry I'm being so very vague about everything, but to be honest, I don't really feel totally comfortable about sharing my most personal issues in a public blog... There are lots of things going on now that aren't so great - my study situation isn't the best, and I'm wondering whether or not to try and do something about that, the future seems mostly like a big black hole, which is a bit disconcerting ... I've run into some financial problems ... It seems like my Dad is really ill, though he won't tell me much about it, nor see a doctor, so that has me worried quite a bit.
I'm hoping I will be able to be more constructive during this week, addressing at least some of the problems that have been piling up and hopefully also be able to solve at least a few of them ...
I'm hoping for more updates during next week, if I can find a solution to some problems, I think it will be easier for me to write about them too - so fingers crossed, hey?! :)
I hope you all had a great weekend!!
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Not So Good!
Yesterday was not really a great day!
I am generally adapting a "better" and much more positive attitude now than I did last year, but I didn't expect everything to magically work out just because we entered 2010!! Naturally there are days that are worse than others, but you have to try to deal with them as well ... which is what I'm trying to do now!
I skipped the Greek lecture yesterday morning and did some of my "own" studies, and it felt pretty okay, it was mostly preparations for the meeting with my professor. At 10 we had an Old Testament lecture, and they are getting started on the real basic grammar now, so I enjoy these lectures a bit more than the strictly introductory lectures!
Afterwards I had coffee with Maria, I get along great with her which is nice as we will be spending a lot of time together this semester. She's taking the OT/Hebrew course where I am mentor, and I'm voluntarily attending the NT/Greek course where she's mentor! :)
I did get about 1½ hours of studying done after our coffee break, I went over my notes for the afternoon meeting and studied some Greek, and at 2 I met with my professor. I can't say the meeting went well, although I guess it wasn't a complete disaster either. I'm happy I get along so well with him, because otherwise I think I would have been even more depressed. We basically discussed both my master's thesis and my 1st level ... the smaller one needs some major reworking, which I hadn't quite anticipated, and while I'm very happy about getting a pretty clear direction in which to go regarding the master's thesis, I still have a lot of mixed feelings! Life is very confusing!
I felt pretty ... well ... confused after the meeting, but Maria and I went for another coffee (I think I drank more coffee than I ate food yesterday, that's probably not all that good, right?), and it was nice to be able to talk a bit ....
The afternoon did not turn out as planned though!
I was supposed to make a detailed schedule for the rest of this week, I feel like I need to plan every minute of every day now - including showers and bathroom breaks, well almost anyway! - but that did not happen!
First of all, the stupid window people have still not fixed my balcony and I'm getting seriously annoyed with them now ... it feels like it's never gonna get finished.
And later on my computer almost died - AGAIN!!! I don't think it's 100% still, but at least I can use it now! *gulp* I had it on stand-by, but had the lid open (sloppy, I know!). Zorro was going to jump up to the table, but his distance judgement isn't the best now (I think he has some problems with his vision in general too, the hassles of getting old, right?) ... I don't know what happened as I was in the other room, but apparently he must have somehow landed in a bad way on top of the keyboard ... which meant that last night, the keyboard was dead!! Not a single key worked. Not good!!!
This morning I started the computer ... it started beeping ... beeping quite a lot - and then it had some problems starting Vista (why would that be affected by my cat jumping (well, sort of!) on the keyboard?????! I do not understand computers!!!), but I got it started - and now the keyboard works ... pretty much except one key ....
But I am getting tired of this computer not working now ... especially since I didn't get much, or that great, help last time it broke! :(
At least I'm up in time today - though I have a throbbing headache I've been trying to cure since 3.45 a.m. ... don't quite know how to get through this day but it'll have to work, somehow ...
Plans for today, before I start getting ready:
Greek lecture at 8 ... it's kind of fun because when I looked at the sentences we're doing now, I pretty much remember almost all of it - not quite, but pretty much ... that felt pretty comforting.
After that I have another lecture, in my "real" course, Religion, Tradition and Communication (it's such a long title, I'm gonna start using RTC for it, I think!), and I'm a bit nervous about that too. It's a mandatory course on the master's programme, but I'm really not that interested or motivated by it, and that feels a bit scary ...
I have "lunch" for an hour - will probably study - and then there's a registration thing for those of us writing some form of thesis and/or taking a so called reading-course ... they've done one single event for basically all students who will be doing this, so I'm expecting a great big mess - also, one of our student counsellors have recently quit ....
After that I probably will have to stay for at least a couple of hours to get some 'real' studying done as well ....
So, another long day!
But now I have to get ready, or I'll miss my train!
I am generally adapting a "better" and much more positive attitude now than I did last year, but I didn't expect everything to magically work out just because we entered 2010!! Naturally there are days that are worse than others, but you have to try to deal with them as well ... which is what I'm trying to do now!
I skipped the Greek lecture yesterday morning and did some of my "own" studies, and it felt pretty okay, it was mostly preparations for the meeting with my professor. At 10 we had an Old Testament lecture, and they are getting started on the real basic grammar now, so I enjoy these lectures a bit more than the strictly introductory lectures!
Afterwards I had coffee with Maria, I get along great with her which is nice as we will be spending a lot of time together this semester. She's taking the OT/Hebrew course where I am mentor, and I'm voluntarily attending the NT/Greek course where she's mentor! :)
I did get about 1½ hours of studying done after our coffee break, I went over my notes for the afternoon meeting and studied some Greek, and at 2 I met with my professor. I can't say the meeting went well, although I guess it wasn't a complete disaster either. I'm happy I get along so well with him, because otherwise I think I would have been even more depressed. We basically discussed both my master's thesis and my 1st level ... the smaller one needs some major reworking, which I hadn't quite anticipated, and while I'm very happy about getting a pretty clear direction in which to go regarding the master's thesis, I still have a lot of mixed feelings! Life is very confusing!
I felt pretty ... well ... confused after the meeting, but Maria and I went for another coffee (I think I drank more coffee than I ate food yesterday, that's probably not all that good, right?), and it was nice to be able to talk a bit ....
The afternoon did not turn out as planned though!
I was supposed to make a detailed schedule for the rest of this week, I feel like I need to plan every minute of every day now - including showers and bathroom breaks, well almost anyway! - but that did not happen!
First of all, the stupid window people have still not fixed my balcony and I'm getting seriously annoyed with them now ... it feels like it's never gonna get finished.
And later on my computer almost died - AGAIN!!! I don't think it's 100% still, but at least I can use it now! *gulp* I had it on stand-by, but had the lid open (sloppy, I know!). Zorro was going to jump up to the table, but his distance judgement isn't the best now (I think he has some problems with his vision in general too, the hassles of getting old, right?) ... I don't know what happened as I was in the other room, but apparently he must have somehow landed in a bad way on top of the keyboard ... which meant that last night, the keyboard was dead!! Not a single key worked. Not good!!!
This morning I started the computer ... it started beeping ... beeping quite a lot - and then it had some problems starting Vista (why would that be affected by my cat jumping (well, sort of!) on the keyboard?????! I do not understand computers!!!), but I got it started - and now the keyboard works ... pretty much except one key ....
But I am getting tired of this computer not working now ... especially since I didn't get much, or that great, help last time it broke! :(
At least I'm up in time today - though I have a throbbing headache I've been trying to cure since 3.45 a.m. ... don't quite know how to get through this day but it'll have to work, somehow ...
Plans for today, before I start getting ready:
Greek lecture at 8 ... it's kind of fun because when I looked at the sentences we're doing now, I pretty much remember almost all of it - not quite, but pretty much ... that felt pretty comforting.
After that I have another lecture, in my "real" course, Religion, Tradition and Communication (it's such a long title, I'm gonna start using RTC for it, I think!), and I'm a bit nervous about that too. It's a mandatory course on the master's programme, but I'm really not that interested or motivated by it, and that feels a bit scary ...
I have "lunch" for an hour - will probably study - and then there's a registration thing for those of us writing some form of thesis and/or taking a so called reading-course ... they've done one single event for basically all students who will be doing this, so I'm expecting a great big mess - also, one of our student counsellors have recently quit ....
After that I probably will have to stay for at least a couple of hours to get some 'real' studying done as well ....
So, another long day!
But now I have to get ready, or I'll miss my train!
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Opening My Heart!
As you may have noticed, this blog has been completely neglected lately! Things have not worked out at all, no matter what I have been doing or trying, and I haven't felt like exposing all the bad things that has happened, day after day after day! Doesn't make for fun reading, does it?!
However, I rather like this blog, and I'd hate to see it die, since I've put a lot of work into it, it's been doing fairly well, and it's been around for over three years. So I'm taking a deep breath now and will try to summarize this fall, in the hopes that the future will be a bit better. But it's not easy to know where to start ...
Well, first and foremost, my laptop is FINALLY back with me!! Yes!!!
It was quite weird as I didn't hear anything from the Repair Centre, where I eventually had to send it, and all of a sudden I got a note in the mail to go pick it up! Apparently they had replaced the Hard Disk Drive and reinstalled Windows Vista, and so far it seems to be working!! The not-so-good thing is that I didn't get Microsoft Office which I had on it before - so I still can't use the computer for actual writing ... which is a bit annoying. I might be able to get that fixed during Christmas holidays though! *fingers crossed*
I have also had the windows in my appartment replaced. The windows were going on 50 years and needed to be replaced - unfortunately, that hasn't gone smoothly. I have had the guys in here for four days now (and I have to stay at home while they are here, as I have to watch Zorro), and they never ever seem to finish. It's just one thing after another (and they usually start working at 11-11.30 and stop at 2 ... some working hours, right?!?
Now they have managed to at least get the windows changed (so I have all my furniture and curtains back in place), but they destroyed bits of my wall when they removed the balcony door, and they have to fix that later this week - and they have already been in one extra day to finish putting in the window shutters. And then I realized they haven't finished the outside of the balcony, but since I have a net there, to protect Zorro, they have to have access to my appartment to fix that as well. I'm getting seriously tired of them right now, I hope I can talk to them when they come for the wall ... Having to be home on certain hours is seriuosly ruining my personal routine now, espeically when it just seems to go on and on and on and on ... *sigh* I still don't know when they will be finished, but I just really hope it will be done soon!!
My Dad came for a visit about a week ago, and that was really fantastic!! It was the first time he has visited me on his own since my oldest sister was born in 2004, and it was really wonderful!! Unfortunately he arrived in the middle of the window-mess, it felt very nice to have someone here during all of it, but I also would have liked for my Dad and I to be able to spend a bit more quality time to ourselves ... instead of just trying to get everything to work out with the window-guys. But I still enjoyed his visit SO much, and I was feeling really, really low when he left - even though I know I'll be able to see him for Christmas.
There has been some problems with Dad and his family lately - quite a lot of problems actually. I definitely won't say any more than that, as it is their private business, but things haven't been well at all, and it turned out they managed to be able to book another trip to the United States!!! They went to Florida last December, and they are apparently going to do a da capo and go again in about a week. I very much hope that it will be a great trip for them, so they can get some compensation for everything that has happened, and that they will feel better when they come back!!
Needless to say, with all of this - as well as some other stuff that I won't bore you with now - my studies has been suffering A LOT!! I haven't managed to focus and concentrate properly and I'm seriously very worried about that now. I usually take my studies very seriously, and sometimes I sound more worried than I actually am, because it turns out I am prepared and I do pretty well - but this time I'm seriously seriously worried!!! I have to finish one 1st level thesis by the beginning of January, and while I know what it's about and has the basic structure figured out, the material won't gather itself and the thesis will most certainly not write itself!!! And that takes focus and concentration and hard work and time!!
I also have to write my Master's thesis now!! Things are still pretty undetermined regarding the practical matters, I will present it in the post-graduate seminar (*scary!!*), but it's not yet decided when ... it will probably be in April. But before that I have one full-time course (January-March), I will be mentor in the Hebrew course, meaning I have some work to do there, and I'll probably want to attend a lot of lectures. I also have a reading course in the New Testament with Greek, so I'm hoping to show up a bit for the Greek course as well, to freshen up my grammar skills a bit! So writing a Master's thesis on top of that will NOT be easy, that's for sure!!
The main problem now is that I'm clueless regarding the entire thing. I know I want to focus on the Covenant, and Exodus 34 - and since I enjoy working with texts, it would be fun working with a redactional-critical method ... but more than that: I'm clueless!! For some reason I can't conenctrate or think or reach any kind of decision regarding it, and I definitely need to get started on it ... SOON!!
Unfortunately, I also seem to have lost touch with a lot of my friends!! I know they are really busy and have a lot on their plates, and when I have felt so under the weather, I haven't had the energy to reach out to them ... but it feels a bit sad that I've lost that. I have some friends at the Department, and it's nice to hang out with them, taking a break and grabbing a coffee - but I also miss the friends that have left the Department and moved on to other things ...
Oh my, I guess you have all fallen alseep by now, this turned out to be a long entry. Still, if I'm going to start blogging again, I figured I'd better get everything up to speed again! I have been doing a little bit of photographing lately, so now it's only a matter of getting my laptop organized again, and move the pictures from the camera to the computer, and then I'll make some photo entries here! :-) (I have gotten quite a lot done on my laptop, so hopefully I might even be able to add at least some photos later on today)
However, I rather like this blog, and I'd hate to see it die, since I've put a lot of work into it, it's been doing fairly well, and it's been around for over three years. So I'm taking a deep breath now and will try to summarize this fall, in the hopes that the future will be a bit better. But it's not easy to know where to start ...
Well, first and foremost, my laptop is FINALLY back with me!! Yes!!!
It was quite weird as I didn't hear anything from the Repair Centre, where I eventually had to send it, and all of a sudden I got a note in the mail to go pick it up! Apparently they had replaced the Hard Disk Drive and reinstalled Windows Vista, and so far it seems to be working!! The not-so-good thing is that I didn't get Microsoft Office which I had on it before - so I still can't use the computer for actual writing ... which is a bit annoying. I might be able to get that fixed during Christmas holidays though! *fingers crossed*
I have also had the windows in my appartment replaced. The windows were going on 50 years and needed to be replaced - unfortunately, that hasn't gone smoothly. I have had the guys in here for four days now (and I have to stay at home while they are here, as I have to watch Zorro), and they never ever seem to finish. It's just one thing after another (and they usually start working at 11-11.30 and stop at 2 ... some working hours, right?!?
Now they have managed to at least get the windows changed (so I have all my furniture and curtains back in place), but they destroyed bits of my wall when they removed the balcony door, and they have to fix that later this week - and they have already been in one extra day to finish putting in the window shutters. And then I realized they haven't finished the outside of the balcony, but since I have a net there, to protect Zorro, they have to have access to my appartment to fix that as well. I'm getting seriously tired of them right now, I hope I can talk to them when they come for the wall ... Having to be home on certain hours is seriuosly ruining my personal routine now, espeically when it just seems to go on and on and on and on ... *sigh* I still don't know when they will be finished, but I just really hope it will be done soon!!My Dad came for a visit about a week ago, and that was really fantastic!! It was the first time he has visited me on his own since my oldest sister was born in 2004, and it was really wonderful!! Unfortunately he arrived in the middle of the window-mess, it felt very nice to have someone here during all of it, but I also would have liked for my Dad and I to be able to spend a bit more quality time to ourselves ... instead of just trying to get everything to work out with the window-guys. But I still enjoyed his visit SO much, and I was feeling really, really low when he left - even though I know I'll be able to see him for Christmas.
There has been some problems with Dad and his family lately - quite a lot of problems actually. I definitely won't say any more than that, as it is their private business, but things haven't been well at all, and it turned out they managed to be able to book another trip to the United States!!! They went to Florida last December, and they are apparently going to do a da capo and go again in about a week. I very much hope that it will be a great trip for them, so they can get some compensation for everything that has happened, and that they will feel better when they come back!!
Needless to say, with all of this - as well as some other stuff that I won't bore you with now - my studies has been suffering A LOT!! I haven't managed to focus and concentrate properly and I'm seriously very worried about that now. I usually take my studies very seriously, and sometimes I sound more worried than I actually am, because it turns out I am prepared and I do pretty well - but this time I'm seriously seriously worried!!! I have to finish one 1st level thesis by the beginning of January, and while I know what it's about and has the basic structure figured out, the material won't gather itself and the thesis will most certainly not write itself!!! And that takes focus and concentration and hard work and time!!
I also have to write my Master's thesis now!! Things are still pretty undetermined regarding the practical matters, I will present it in the post-graduate seminar (*scary!!*), but it's not yet decided when ... it will probably be in April. But before that I have one full-time course (January-March), I will be mentor in the Hebrew course, meaning I have some work to do there, and I'll probably want to attend a lot of lectures. I also have a reading course in the New Testament with Greek, so I'm hoping to show up a bit for the Greek course as well, to freshen up my grammar skills a bit! So writing a Master's thesis on top of that will NOT be easy, that's for sure!!
The main problem now is that I'm clueless regarding the entire thing. I know I want to focus on the Covenant, and Exodus 34 - and since I enjoy working with texts, it would be fun working with a redactional-critical method ... but more than that: I'm clueless!! For some reason I can't conenctrate or think or reach any kind of decision regarding it, and I definitely need to get started on it ... SOON!!
Unfortunately, I also seem to have lost touch with a lot of my friends!! I know they are really busy and have a lot on their plates, and when I have felt so under the weather, I haven't had the energy to reach out to them ... but it feels a bit sad that I've lost that. I have some friends at the Department, and it's nice to hang out with them, taking a break and grabbing a coffee - but I also miss the friends that have left the Department and moved on to other things ...
Oh my, I guess you have all fallen alseep by now, this turned out to be a long entry. Still, if I'm going to start blogging again, I figured I'd better get everything up to speed again! I have been doing a little bit of photographing lately, so now it's only a matter of getting my laptop organized again, and move the pictures from the camera to the computer, and then I'll make some photo entries here! :-) (I have gotten quite a lot done on my laptop, so hopefully I might even be able to add at least some photos later on today)
Monday, 9 November 2009
Confusion!
I don't know what's been going on today, I've felt SO tired and been completely confused ALL day! Certainly not that great considering I should be productive like 27 hours a day right now! *gulp*
I really feel constantly very tired, I guess I should start looking around for tons and tons of vitamins and hope they will do the trick!
I went to Uni this morning, and tried to do some preparatory reading for my master's thesis, and I ended up reading and reading and not understanding a word of it! Not good!
I'm really disturbed by this, because I don't have the time to be so tired and so disorganized and so unfocused ... guess all I can do is hope for a better day tomorrow!
Oh yeah - anybody know any great medicine to prevent dreaming?! I know it sounds weird, but I'm dreaming so much and so intense right now, it's seriously affecting my sleep!! It's not nightmares per se - at least not all of them - but they are so intense, I wake up even more tired than when I went to sleep. Which isn't that great!
Oh well, I guess I should try to get something done for a few hours now, then get an early night and hope for some undisturbed sleep ...
Take care!
I really feel constantly very tired, I guess I should start looking around for tons and tons of vitamins and hope they will do the trick!
I went to Uni this morning, and tried to do some preparatory reading for my master's thesis, and I ended up reading and reading and not understanding a word of it! Not good!
I'm really disturbed by this, because I don't have the time to be so tired and so disorganized and so unfocused ... guess all I can do is hope for a better day tomorrow!
Oh yeah - anybody know any great medicine to prevent dreaming?! I know it sounds weird, but I'm dreaming so much and so intense right now, it's seriously affecting my sleep!! It's not nightmares per se - at least not all of them - but they are so intense, I wake up even more tired than when I went to sleep. Which isn't that great!
Oh well, I guess I should try to get something done for a few hours now, then get an early night and hope for some undisturbed sleep ...
Take care!
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Insane Crazy Week!
God knows how I'm going to write anything about this week that makes any kind of sense, because it's been absolutely insane. Some things have not been that great, other things might be good maybe and some things are really really good. Did I mention it wasn't only insane, it was also confusing?! :)
I guess I should get the bad news over with right away and try to focus on the positive - that sounds good, right?! :) I did have an exam this week that for various reasons did not work out at all. I feel really uncomfortable about pretty much everything regarding that exam so I hope you'll forgive me if I don't go into detail here.
Now for the rest ... which is confusing! Apart from the exam - that I have to take again at some point - I'm writing two essays this semster (Old Testament Exegesis). One is rather small, covering 1/4 (25%) of one semester - I guess you'd call it a first level thesis. The other one is a master's thesis, which is quite huge, it covers one semester's full time studies! *yikes*
On Wednesday I occupied two professors (one in Old Testament Exegesis, one in New Testament Exegesis) for over an hour trying to figure out what to do with my master's thesis. The problem is, the Swedish University system is going through some major changes, and I've gotten completely caught in the middle, so I'm the only one at the Department writing a master's thesis (in any of the Theology subjects) right now. They had no idea what to do with me, where I was going to present it - but it turned out, I'm going to attend the seminar where the post graduate students present parts of their dissertations ... *whoa and yikes!!!!* I'm glad their moving my thesis "up" instead of placing it with the Bachelor's thesis-students, but still ... yikes!!!
After that I had a discussion with my professor about what I'm going to focus on, and it seems my first level thesis will be about Job, and my master's thesis will be about the Covenant! :)
Then there are some internal problems on the Department, so I was quite busy during Thursday and Friday running around to different professors and assistant professors and student counsellors, trying to figure out in which seminar to present my first level thesis ...
I got it all figured out like 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon, so I've been completely exhausted since then!!
This week has had some severe downs and some amazing ups, and I'm mostly feeling very confused right now! The exam is a biiiig down, as I have to take it again and this semester looks intense enough as it is! And naturally, having to run around trying to figure out everything hasn't been that much fun either!
But, there are so many great things as well ... I'm really making a name for myself in my own subject now, which is great since that's what I want to continue doing! When it comes to Old Testament, all the teachers/professors know me, by name, which is an AMAZING feeling for somebody who's felt shut out of the entire society for a number of years!!! And I know a few professors/teachers from the adjoining subject, New Testament. that also know me quite well. I know a lot of students now, I feel confident, I can speak for myself and the general atmosphere that I'm experiencing right now is FANTASTIC!!!
I realize I've been rambling like an IDIOT right now, and I apologize for that! At least now I know what kind of structure this semester will take on, and that's the main thing. Though I'm going to have to study 24/7 practically until the beginning of Mars or something, in order to get everything to work out - and that feels quite intimidating ....
Still, I SO much hope I can continue here, because I feel really great here, there's an amazing feeling that I just belong here!!! :)
I guess I should get the bad news over with right away and try to focus on the positive - that sounds good, right?! :) I did have an exam this week that for various reasons did not work out at all. I feel really uncomfortable about pretty much everything regarding that exam so I hope you'll forgive me if I don't go into detail here.
Now for the rest ... which is confusing! Apart from the exam - that I have to take again at some point - I'm writing two essays this semster (Old Testament Exegesis). One is rather small, covering 1/4 (25%) of one semester - I guess you'd call it a first level thesis. The other one is a master's thesis, which is quite huge, it covers one semester's full time studies! *yikes*
On Wednesday I occupied two professors (one in Old Testament Exegesis, one in New Testament Exegesis) for over an hour trying to figure out what to do with my master's thesis. The problem is, the Swedish University system is going through some major changes, and I've gotten completely caught in the middle, so I'm the only one at the Department writing a master's thesis (in any of the Theology subjects) right now. They had no idea what to do with me, where I was going to present it - but it turned out, I'm going to attend the seminar where the post graduate students present parts of their dissertations ... *whoa and yikes!!!!* I'm glad their moving my thesis "up" instead of placing it with the Bachelor's thesis-students, but still ... yikes!!!
After that I had a discussion with my professor about what I'm going to focus on, and it seems my first level thesis will be about Job, and my master's thesis will be about the Covenant! :)
Then there are some internal problems on the Department, so I was quite busy during Thursday and Friday running around to different professors and assistant professors and student counsellors, trying to figure out in which seminar to present my first level thesis ...
I got it all figured out like 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon, so I've been completely exhausted since then!!
This week has had some severe downs and some amazing ups, and I'm mostly feeling very confused right now! The exam is a biiiig down, as I have to take it again and this semester looks intense enough as it is! And naturally, having to run around trying to figure out everything hasn't been that much fun either!
But, there are so many great things as well ... I'm really making a name for myself in my own subject now, which is great since that's what I want to continue doing! When it comes to Old Testament, all the teachers/professors know me, by name, which is an AMAZING feeling for somebody who's felt shut out of the entire society for a number of years!!! And I know a few professors/teachers from the adjoining subject, New Testament. that also know me quite well. I know a lot of students now, I feel confident, I can speak for myself and the general atmosphere that I'm experiencing right now is FANTASTIC!!!
I realize I've been rambling like an IDIOT right now, and I apologize for that! At least now I know what kind of structure this semester will take on, and that's the main thing. Though I'm going to have to study 24/7 practically until the beginning of Mars or something, in order to get everything to work out - and that feels quite intimidating ....
Still, I SO much hope I can continue here, because I feel really great here, there's an amazing feeling that I just belong here!!! :)
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
So far: Better! And: 19,000!
Well I had this wish in my head as I woke up this morning, that I hoped September would be a better month than August have been. And so far, it really has been! :)
First and foremost, when I logged on this afternoon I was visitor number 19,000!!! Not to bad, huh? :) Thank you all visit my blog! :)
I met Lena on the train tomorrow, it was SO nice to see her again! I don't know when we saw each other last, but it was a LONG time ago, that's for sure. Since we aren't at the same Departments anymore *sob* we didn't get to talk for that long, but hopefully I can get used to getting up early in the morning and we can meet on the train, at least most days of the week!
I spent most of the day in the library, trying to study and figure out what I want to do with my essays! I did better today than I have in ... what, two months?! ... but it still didn't go THAT well. I haven't been feeling great lately and the whole Uni situation is a great big mess right now! I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow afternoon and I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it ... I definitely feel confused, that's for sure.
There was a lot of activity going on at Uni now that the semester has officially started, and I saw a number of people I "know". Most of my real friends have moved on to another part of their education now (*sob again!*), but I have a few friends left at the Department. I met one of them today which was really nice! :)
At 3 o'clock I gave up and went home, first I had to pick up a parcel and then I had to go see our "janitor" regarding the MAJOR renovation they will start here sometime next year ... I met another girl there, we really started talking and that was quite nice! I don't know any of my neighbours, so it was nice being able to at least have a casual conversation! :)
It's been quite a day, at least more active than most other days now, so I'm kind of pleased with myself. Until I think of the meeting tomorrow, when the butterflies keep invading my stomach! My professor is really really great, but since things haven't worked out at all lately, I'm still really nervous about the meeting ... Wish me luck?! :)
First and foremost, when I logged on this afternoon I was visitor number 19,000!!! Not to bad, huh? :) Thank you all visit my blog! :)
I met Lena on the train tomorrow, it was SO nice to see her again! I don't know when we saw each other last, but it was a LONG time ago, that's for sure. Since we aren't at the same Departments anymore *sob* we didn't get to talk for that long, but hopefully I can get used to getting up early in the morning and we can meet on the train, at least most days of the week!
I spent most of the day in the library, trying to study and figure out what I want to do with my essays! I did better today than I have in ... what, two months?! ... but it still didn't go THAT well. I haven't been feeling great lately and the whole Uni situation is a great big mess right now! I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow afternoon and I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it ... I definitely feel confused, that's for sure.
There was a lot of activity going on at Uni now that the semester has officially started, and I saw a number of people I "know". Most of my real friends have moved on to another part of their education now (*sob again!*), but I have a few friends left at the Department. I met one of them today which was really nice! :)
At 3 o'clock I gave up and went home, first I had to pick up a parcel and then I had to go see our "janitor" regarding the MAJOR renovation they will start here sometime next year ... I met another girl there, we really started talking and that was quite nice! I don't know any of my neighbours, so it was nice being able to at least have a casual conversation! :)
It's been quite a day, at least more active than most other days now, so I'm kind of pleased with myself. Until I think of the meeting tomorrow, when the butterflies keep invading my stomach! My professor is really really great, but since things haven't worked out at all lately, I'm still really nervous about the meeting ... Wish me luck?! :)
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Difficult Decision & Tough Week!
Things have not turned out the way I had anticipated, not during this weekend and not before that either, so I'm generally feeling rather confused right now.
I have had to make a very difficult decision today, and I'm looking at a very rough week ahead of me. I still hope to be able to update my blog and be active online, but I can't guarantee anything, and I probably won't be in a great mood all the time.
I don't feel like I'm able to let you know what is going on, partly because it is very private and partly because I'm so confused I wouldn't know where to start. I'm hoping that this week will constitute a transition into something better, I think it will and I will certainly work hard to change the things that really are NOT working out right now.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm back - sort of! - even though things aren't that great at the moment!
I hope you all are well!
Thursday, 27 August 2009
*Taking A Break!*
I know I haven't written here in quite a while, and this entry will only be an announcement that I probably won't either, at least not in a while.
For some reason, things are really NOT working out right now, and I find myself in more and more trouble everyday... Therefore I'll be taking a break on pretty much every online activity I'm involved in, in an attempt to sort out my IRL stuff. Not sure that I'll succeed, but ... points for effort?! :)
The critical period will be the rest of this week, and, more importantly, the entire next week, when a lot of stuff is supposed to happen and I'm not sure if they will turn out good, okay or downright disastrous ...
I'm hoping to return here in about 10 days time and try to make things work from where I am then ... but for now, I hope you are all doing well! *thinking of you*
Take care!
For some reason, things are really NOT working out right now, and I find myself in more and more trouble everyday... Therefore I'll be taking a break on pretty much every online activity I'm involved in, in an attempt to sort out my IRL stuff. Not sure that I'll succeed, but ... points for effort?! :)
The critical period will be the rest of this week, and, more importantly, the entire next week, when a lot of stuff is supposed to happen and I'm not sure if they will turn out good, okay or downright disastrous ...
I'm hoping to return here in about 10 days time and try to make things work from where I am then ... but for now, I hope you are all doing well! *thinking of you*
Take care!
Friday, 21 August 2009
No Weird Photo ...
... but a beautiful one, right? :)
Anyway, this week has been pretty intense, and the fact that I haven't felt so great has made it feel even more insane! I hardly even know where to start!
Well, first of all, my exam has been postponed, so now I'm taking it on September 2nd instead. If you feel up to it, send a good-luck-thought my way, will you? This will be the last Reading Course I take in Hebrew, as you only can take four (and this is my fourth). Would be nice to get a good grade on the last one ...
Then there's construction work going on outside (as seen in the last two entries!). They are going to swap our windows, and they have to do outside construction work first. We haven't been told anything about when they are coming to our apartments, or how long it will take, and that does have me worried. I'm not home THAT much these days, and having Zorro ... well, it's not easy, is it! They said we would get a notice 1½ weeks before, and I really hope that's true, because at least that will give me time to try and arrange something.
As if that's not enough, the company who owns the buildings are planning a MASSIVE renovation of every bathroom, tearing it all out and doing them over, including ALL the plumming (to the kitchen as well). I went to the first information meeting the other day, and whoa ... it's a HUGE deal! They don't know a lot yet, they hope to get starting in January next year, but no one knows when they will come here ... also, I can't live here with Zorro, and there are no evacuation apartments available, they go to people with health issues. Which I can understand, I really do, although I can't help feeling it puts me on the spot. I really don't have any place to go here, with Zorro, so they are basically forcing me out of my apartment, which means having to leave Uni and all and live in the summerhouse for about a month!
But, like I said, we still don't know much, so I guess I'll just have to take it easy and see what happens!
I've been at Uni a couple of days this week, and I have to say I have mixed feelings. It's hard coming back after summer break, because it feels like I live one life during the summer, where I am one person, and when I'm here, during the semesters at Uni, I am a completely different person. And trying to find one after having been the other for over two months is difficult!
On the other hand, I REALLY like it here. Not only where I live, my apartment, but I really like being at Uni, at "my" Department! I've already met several friends - and a few teachers - and I really feel like I belong there. People know me, I know them, the social interaction works out so well, it's almost scary! But I am VERY grateful!
On the third hand (is that even an expression??), I find it difficult to be disciplined enough to cope with my studies! I do want to get a good result on this exam, but I don't have all the time in the world, and I find it really hard concentrating for a longer time ... which is quite frustrating!!
What else has been going on?
Well, the last thing we did in the summerhouse this summer was tear out the bathroom as we were having it redone. Well, my Dad and his family are there now, and apparently it seems to be working now. They have put in the toilet, basin and shower, fixed the plumbing and it seems to be working fine! *phew*
Also heard that the husband of one of my close friends are in hospital, which makes me worried. I heard he wasn't feeling well, but I didn't think he'd go to hospital. I really hope he'll get well soon!
Things ARE intense, I'm also trying to be up-to-date online (though I'm still lacking in some areas, I know), checking out forums, being active on Facebook, updating blogs etc.
And - apart from studying - I'm also doing a complete clean-up in my apartment, going through every closet (I have five), almost all the book shelves (six of them at least) etc, so I'm feeling quite busy at the moment!
Wow, I'm not sure this entry made any sense whatsoever ... *lol* Anyway, the idea was to say I'm really busy and I have a lot of stuff going on. I'm not so disturbed by that, though there are a few things I'd really like to see work out - first and foremost my studies (there's also a major confusing regarding this semester, but I'll have to save that for another entry!), but also this whole deal about changing the windows. I hope it works out smoothly ...
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Anyway, this week has been pretty intense, and the fact that I haven't felt so great has made it feel even more insane! I hardly even know where to start!
Well, first of all, my exam has been postponed, so now I'm taking it on September 2nd instead. If you feel up to it, send a good-luck-thought my way, will you? This will be the last Reading Course I take in Hebrew, as you only can take four (and this is my fourth). Would be nice to get a good grade on the last one ...
Then there's construction work going on outside (as seen in the last two entries!). They are going to swap our windows, and they have to do outside construction work first. We haven't been told anything about when they are coming to our apartments, or how long it will take, and that does have me worried. I'm not home THAT much these days, and having Zorro ... well, it's not easy, is it! They said we would get a notice 1½ weeks before, and I really hope that's true, because at least that will give me time to try and arrange something.
As if that's not enough, the company who owns the buildings are planning a MASSIVE renovation of every bathroom, tearing it all out and doing them over, including ALL the plumming (to the kitchen as well). I went to the first information meeting the other day, and whoa ... it's a HUGE deal! They don't know a lot yet, they hope to get starting in January next year, but no one knows when they will come here ... also, I can't live here with Zorro, and there are no evacuation apartments available, they go to people with health issues. Which I can understand, I really do, although I can't help feeling it puts me on the spot. I really don't have any place to go here, with Zorro, so they are basically forcing me out of my apartment, which means having to leave Uni and all and live in the summerhouse for about a month!
But, like I said, we still don't know much, so I guess I'll just have to take it easy and see what happens!
I've been at Uni a couple of days this week, and I have to say I have mixed feelings. It's hard coming back after summer break, because it feels like I live one life during the summer, where I am one person, and when I'm here, during the semesters at Uni, I am a completely different person. And trying to find one after having been the other for over two months is difficult!
On the other hand, I REALLY like it here. Not only where I live, my apartment, but I really like being at Uni, at "my" Department! I've already met several friends - and a few teachers - and I really feel like I belong there. People know me, I know them, the social interaction works out so well, it's almost scary! But I am VERY grateful!
On the third hand (is that even an expression??), I find it difficult to be disciplined enough to cope with my studies! I do want to get a good result on this exam, but I don't have all the time in the world, and I find it really hard concentrating for a longer time ... which is quite frustrating!!
What else has been going on?
Well, the last thing we did in the summerhouse this summer was tear out the bathroom as we were having it redone. Well, my Dad and his family are there now, and apparently it seems to be working now. They have put in the toilet, basin and shower, fixed the plumbing and it seems to be working fine! *phew*
Also heard that the husband of one of my close friends are in hospital, which makes me worried. I heard he wasn't feeling well, but I didn't think he'd go to hospital. I really hope he'll get well soon!
Things ARE intense, I'm also trying to be up-to-date online (though I'm still lacking in some areas, I know), checking out forums, being active on Facebook, updating blogs etc.
And - apart from studying - I'm also doing a complete clean-up in my apartment, going through every closet (I have five), almost all the book shelves (six of them at least) etc, so I'm feeling quite busy at the moment!
Wow, I'm not sure this entry made any sense whatsoever ... *lol* Anyway, the idea was to say I'm really busy and I have a lot of stuff going on. I'm not so disturbed by that, though there are a few things I'd really like to see work out - first and foremost my studies (there's also a major confusing regarding this semester, but I'll have to save that for another entry!), but also this whole deal about changing the windows. I hope it works out smoothly ...
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Monday, 17 August 2009
Now What?
Well, now I've completed all the entries from this summer ... I think! :) Should you feel anything is missing, feel free to let me know! (There will probably be a "photo entry" some time in the future, when I get my energy together enough to start working on my summer photos.)
So where am I now?! Well, I've been home for about a week - a pretty strange week at that! Things are rather confusing at the moment, and I think that trying to explain why and how will only make them more confusing. I'm trying to do a million things at once, both on practical and emotional levels, and that is rather difficult to handle. I'm hoping I will be able to get more and more organized and also be able to finish some projects I've started - so things won't be quite so confusing ...
At the moment I am - among other things - trying to reorganize my bedroom, thereby also rearranging 5 different bookshelves, 4 closets and my storeroom in the basement. I have TONS of things to sell, so should you be interested and/or know somebody else who is - PLEEEEASE let me know! Stuff for sale include James Bond, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Lord of the Rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... and probably a lot more! :)
Oh, by the way ...
I know there aren't that many comments on this blog, but this time I have a question for my blog readers. If I take the time to make one or two proper photo entries (might also be with older photos, as I'm trying to organize ALL my digital photos from 2004 and forward!), would you like comments for each photo? I know I haven't done that so much, mainly because it takes a lot longer to make the entries that way ... (see for instance the last entry on my sisters, where I've added all photos together at the end of the post).
But if you think the entry will be more exciting and interesting to read if I add some comment or little story to the pictures, I'll definitely take the time to do that.
Please let me know what you think - leave a comment here, or email me ... Thanks in advance!
Well, at this point I'd better get back to my confusing life, trying to juggle reorganizing, cleaning, cooking, studying and working out a number of other things - all at the same time! :)
Take care!
So where am I now?! Well, I've been home for about a week - a pretty strange week at that! Things are rather confusing at the moment, and I think that trying to explain why and how will only make them more confusing. I'm trying to do a million things at once, both on practical and emotional levels, and that is rather difficult to handle. I'm hoping I will be able to get more and more organized and also be able to finish some projects I've started - so things won't be quite so confusing ...
At the moment I am - among other things - trying to reorganize my bedroom, thereby also rearranging 5 different bookshelves, 4 closets and my storeroom in the basement. I have TONS of things to sell, so should you be interested and/or know somebody else who is - PLEEEEASE let me know! Stuff for sale include James Bond, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Lord of the Rings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... and probably a lot more! :)
Oh, by the way ...
I know there aren't that many comments on this blog, but this time I have a question for my blog readers. If I take the time to make one or two proper photo entries (might also be with older photos, as I'm trying to organize ALL my digital photos from 2004 and forward!), would you like comments for each photo? I know I haven't done that so much, mainly because it takes a lot longer to make the entries that way ... (see for instance the last entry on my sisters, where I've added all photos together at the end of the post).
But if you think the entry will be more exciting and interesting to read if I add some comment or little story to the pictures, I'll definitely take the time to do that.
Please let me know what you think - leave a comment here, or email me ... Thanks in advance!
Well, at this point I'd better get back to my confusing life, trying to juggle reorganizing, cleaning, cooking, studying and working out a number of other things - all at the same time! :)
Take care!
Friday, 12 June 2009
Difficulties!!
The last month or so has been really difficult for me, I seem to be stuck in a very destructive pattern that I can't seem to get out of, no matter what I do! I know I have a lot of good things going on, I managed to finish this semester in a good way and all of that, but for some reason, I just feel awful about everything right now - so I'm guessing I'm not much fun to be around!
I really don't want to start going into it, because that will make this entry very difficult and depressing, I hope I can get my act together and start feeling a little better soon! I'd like to be able to catch up on my blogs before I leave for the summer, though I can't guarantee that!
For now, you'll have to accept these pictures from Sofiero ... I was up there with Sara, Johanna, Per and Johanna on Monday, celebrating the end of the semester! *yay!* (Photos are also on Facebook) And yes, these are the "official" ones ... I will be emailing all the photos to all of those present ... *lol*
Enjoy!
Sofiero, June 8, 2009
I really don't want to start going into it, because that will make this entry very difficult and depressing, I hope I can get my act together and start feeling a little better soon! I'd like to be able to catch up on my blogs before I leave for the summer, though I can't guarantee that!
For now, you'll have to accept these pictures from Sofiero ... I was up there with Sara, Johanna, Per and Johanna on Monday, celebrating the end of the semester! *yay!* (Photos are also on Facebook) And yes, these are the "official" ones ... I will be emailing all the photos to all of those present ... *lol*
Enjoy!
Sofiero, June 8, 2009
Sunday, 10 May 2009
At Last!
I apologize for neglecting this blog right now.
I have to admit, I'm not feeling the best, and when I don't, I can't see the point to update this blog. One thing is if there's an explicit reason for not feeling well, and when you gain something from sharing that, or having a constructive discussion about it - but that is NOT the case right now! I don't even write in my own personal diary much now, and that's something I can usually be helped a lot by!
I think I'm mostly feeling bad because the whole thing with the essays are REALLY confusing me right now, and when I'm confused I can't stay focused, and when I can't stay focused, I don't do anything, and when I don't do anything, I feel stressed out and awful!
(short summary, I know!)
Anyway ... there's always hope I guess, and I'm hoping to get something done today! I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow and hopefully at least some things will become clearer after that ... *fingers crossed*
I did learn yesterday that there is one thing that can actually snap me out of my bad, destructive moods: going for walks! I have never liked it before, but I really do now!! Bringing the camera and taking your time, that is a great way of clearing your mind. You can think about the difficult things if you like, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm "rediscovering" my home town in a new way now, and the more I walk, the more I realize there are other places in town I want to explore! Granted, it's not a very big town, but I still haven't covered all of it yet! :)
I didn't take that many pictures yesterday, but the walk did me good anyway! I took a walk in what in these parts constitute "woods" (though not in any other part of the world, I think!), it's a very small area, but covered with trees and it's really beautiful! They have a little "farm" there, with a few animals, ducks, geese, cows etc - families often come there with their kids. I went past there yesterday and encountered the cutest little geese baby ... he kept following me around on his side of the fence! *adorable!*
You can check out the few pictures here:
Out for a Walk, May 9, 2009
(Also, my personal blog has been updated!)
I have to admit, I'm not feeling the best, and when I don't, I can't see the point to update this blog. One thing is if there's an explicit reason for not feeling well, and when you gain something from sharing that, or having a constructive discussion about it - but that is NOT the case right now! I don't even write in my own personal diary much now, and that's something I can usually be helped a lot by!
I think I'm mostly feeling bad because the whole thing with the essays are REALLY confusing me right now, and when I'm confused I can't stay focused, and when I can't stay focused, I don't do anything, and when I don't do anything, I feel stressed out and awful!
(short summary, I know!)
Anyway ... there's always hope I guess, and I'm hoping to get something done today! I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow and hopefully at least some things will become clearer after that ... *fingers crossed*
I did learn yesterday that there is one thing that can actually snap me out of my bad, destructive moods: going for walks! I have never liked it before, but I really do now!! Bringing the camera and taking your time, that is a great way of clearing your mind. You can think about the difficult things if you like, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm "rediscovering" my home town in a new way now, and the more I walk, the more I realize there are other places in town I want to explore! Granted, it's not a very big town, but I still haven't covered all of it yet! :)
I didn't take that many pictures yesterday, but the walk did me good anyway! I took a walk in what in these parts constitute "woods" (though not in any other part of the world, I think!), it's a very small area, but covered with trees and it's really beautiful! They have a little "farm" there, with a few animals, ducks, geese, cows etc - families often come there with their kids. I went past there yesterday and encountered the cutest little geese baby ... he kept following me around on his side of the fence! *adorable!*
You can check out the few pictures here:
Out for a Walk, May 9, 2009
(Also, my personal blog has been updated!)
Saturday, 4 April 2009
600th Post! Wow!
I had another title in mind for this post, relating to the previous one, but when I found out this will be my 600th post on this blog, I simply had to acknowledge that! I'm very happy this blog is doing so well, even though I sometimes take a break from it, both regarding my posting but mostly of course the visitors! :)
Anyway - what I was going to write was the fact that I obviously did survive the Week From Hell - even though I'm not sure how exactly ...
This week has been a real roller coaster, though unfortunately not that many "ups". I don't have the time or the energy to go into detail here, I will try to make a proper update in my personal blog, and I'll get back to those of you not reading Swedish in more personal notes before I leave on my mini-vacation (or whatever it will be).
The general outcome of this week, in short is that I've gotten a start with the mentor activity on the "new" (semi-new??) course and I have started developing a good connection with the teacher, which I think is really good.
I failed the oral exam ... *cry* which was quite a set back! I can't say that I'm really surprised by that, because I have felt so awful, and I didn't feel prepared enough, but I find it difficult coping with failed exams, and that feeling gets about 100% worse when it's an oral exam and not a written one. I'll have to do it when I get back home though, but that basically means that for the rest of the semester, well, I'll be taking on courses that equal one whole semester's full-time studies in about 8 weeks ... great! *NOT!*
I survived the essay seminar too, though I don't know how I feel about that ... Some things felt okay, some things felt pretty good and some things felt pretty terrible ...
So, that's the short summary version! :)
Today and tomorrow will be spent preparing for the trip and my time away - I will come back tomorrow with a last entry before I leave!
Take care and enjoy your Saturday!
Anyway - what I was going to write was the fact that I obviously did survive the Week From Hell - even though I'm not sure how exactly ...
This week has been a real roller coaster, though unfortunately not that many "ups". I don't have the time or the energy to go into detail here, I will try to make a proper update in my personal blog, and I'll get back to those of you not reading Swedish in more personal notes before I leave on my mini-vacation (or whatever it will be).
The general outcome of this week, in short is that I've gotten a start with the mentor activity on the "new" (semi-new??) course and I have started developing a good connection with the teacher, which I think is really good.
I failed the oral exam ... *cry* which was quite a set back! I can't say that I'm really surprised by that, because I have felt so awful, and I didn't feel prepared enough, but I find it difficult coping with failed exams, and that feeling gets about 100% worse when it's an oral exam and not a written one. I'll have to do it when I get back home though, but that basically means that for the rest of the semester, well, I'll be taking on courses that equal one whole semester's full-time studies in about 8 weeks ... great! *NOT!*
I survived the essay seminar too, though I don't know how I feel about that ... Some things felt okay, some things felt pretty good and some things felt pretty terrible ...
So, that's the short summary version! :)
Today and tomorrow will be spent preparing for the trip and my time away - I will come back tomorrow with a last entry before I leave!
Take care and enjoy your Saturday!
Sunday, 29 March 2009
Surviving The Week From Hell?
Things are not going great now, that's for sure. I'm feeling really down and sad and upset, and I have a week ahead of me that I wouldn't wish on anyone ... I don't really know how I'm supposed to actually go through it, and the fact that I need to actually perform - or the consequences will be severe - makes me feel even worse.
I don't really feel comfortable pouring my heart out in a public blog, so I'm sorry if this is a little bit short, but my week basically looks like this:
Meeting with an Old Testament teacher, introduction to an OT-course where I'm mentor, and where I'm supposed to say "something" in front of the group, an oral exam, a talk with "my professor" that I have no idea how to do, discussion regarding two essays I have hardly given any thought at all, and essay seminar - for the two essays I don't know anything about - an OT-lecture and a regular mentor meeting, cleaning the entire apartment to prepare for my trip, try to find a new bathroom carpet (mine will be replaced while I'm gone), STUDYING (duh!!) plus a number of other errands and things to just "get done".
I'm feeling pretty awful at the moment, and going from complete apathy to outright terror ... and that is not the best type of preparation for a week like this!!
I'm really looking forward to my trip, as I think I'll need it as a way of gathering my composure again, trying to deal with everything that has been going on, that I haven't had time for now, and really try to come to terms with ... everything! Hopefully I can feel better and be ready to take on life again after that!
I know this is a short entry, shorter than I usually keep my blog entries, but I actually don't feel up to writing right now. I have a hard enough time writing in my diary at the moment, and this is a lot harder ... I can't guarantee the updates of next week, considering how it'll be - but at least I promise to make some kind of summary update next weekend, before my trip.
I hope you are all doing well!
(--> My personal blog, Me, Myself and I, has been updated <--)
I don't really feel comfortable pouring my heart out in a public blog, so I'm sorry if this is a little bit short, but my week basically looks like this:
Meeting with an Old Testament teacher, introduction to an OT-course where I'm mentor, and where I'm supposed to say "something" in front of the group, an oral exam, a talk with "my professor" that I have no idea how to do, discussion regarding two essays I have hardly given any thought at all, and essay seminar - for the two essays I don't know anything about - an OT-lecture and a regular mentor meeting, cleaning the entire apartment to prepare for my trip, try to find a new bathroom carpet (mine will be replaced while I'm gone), STUDYING (duh!!) plus a number of other errands and things to just "get done".
I'm feeling pretty awful at the moment, and going from complete apathy to outright terror ... and that is not the best type of preparation for a week like this!!
I'm really looking forward to my trip, as I think I'll need it as a way of gathering my composure again, trying to deal with everything that has been going on, that I haven't had time for now, and really try to come to terms with ... everything! Hopefully I can feel better and be ready to take on life again after that!
I know this is a short entry, shorter than I usually keep my blog entries, but I actually don't feel up to writing right now. I have a hard enough time writing in my diary at the moment, and this is a lot harder ... I can't guarantee the updates of next week, considering how it'll be - but at least I promise to make some kind of summary update next weekend, before my trip.
I hope you are all doing well!
(--> My personal blog, Me, Myself and I, has been updated <--)
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Blog Break!
Hi!
Things are not working out really great for me right now, and I will have to take a break from most things to work it out at the moment!
It's not to serious, I don't want those close to me to worry because it's not that bad, but I am feeling rather low at the moment, I had to postpone the exam I should have taken today and I feel terrible about that ...
And the thing is, I can't just put my entire life on hold to sort things out, but I think I need to put all my energies to working out the studies-part of my life, and trying to work with myself - and therefore other stuff, like the internet, will be put on hold for a while.
I don't do that much online any more, it's mostly this blog, a few forums and Facebook, but that will be put on a hold for a while too now ...
The way the future looks at the moment is this:
Right now I have to try to find my way back to a "working life" and get back on track again. Next week will be very heavy indeed, with one meeting, one course-introduction where I'll speak in front of the group about the mentor thing, my oral exam, an essay seminar, at least one more OT-lecture and one mentor meeting.
The week after that, I go up to the summerhouse, on April 6, and will be away for about 2½ - 3 weeks. Unfortunately I haven't had the energy to get a working wireless internet connection for my laptop, so I will be pretty much out of reach for those weeks (but hey, who knows, maybe I'll need an internet break as well! *lol*) and I will only go online when I'm visiting my families ... maybe.
I'm hoping to sort things out during the end of this week and the weekend, and hopefully I can at least be online a bit during next week, even if it is very intense, especially since I'll be out of reach later on.
As I said, I'll survive this too, but at the moment, I need to devote some energy to pick up the pieces and get back on track again.
Take care!
Things are not working out really great for me right now, and I will have to take a break from most things to work it out at the moment!
It's not to serious, I don't want those close to me to worry because it's not that bad, but I am feeling rather low at the moment, I had to postpone the exam I should have taken today and I feel terrible about that ...
And the thing is, I can't just put my entire life on hold to sort things out, but I think I need to put all my energies to working out the studies-part of my life, and trying to work with myself - and therefore other stuff, like the internet, will be put on hold for a while.
I don't do that much online any more, it's mostly this blog, a few forums and Facebook, but that will be put on a hold for a while too now ...
The way the future looks at the moment is this:
Right now I have to try to find my way back to a "working life" and get back on track again. Next week will be very heavy indeed, with one meeting, one course-introduction where I'll speak in front of the group about the mentor thing, my oral exam, an essay seminar, at least one more OT-lecture and one mentor meeting.
The week after that, I go up to the summerhouse, on April 6, and will be away for about 2½ - 3 weeks. Unfortunately I haven't had the energy to get a working wireless internet connection for my laptop, so I will be pretty much out of reach for those weeks (but hey, who knows, maybe I'll need an internet break as well! *lol*) and I will only go online when I'm visiting my families ... maybe.
I'm hoping to sort things out during the end of this week and the weekend, and hopefully I can at least be online a bit during next week, even if it is very intense, especially since I'll be out of reach later on.
As I said, I'll survive this too, but at the moment, I need to devote some energy to pick up the pieces and get back on track again.
Take care!
Sunday, 22 March 2009
A Long Night Now?!
I had my intentions set on a long night of studying yesterday ... so I thought!
Turns out some less than quiet neighbours decided to have a party ... a loud party ... a very loud party! I don't mind it so much, and thankfully it doesn't happen very often here, but yesterday I was quite disturbed by it.
First and foremost of course because I neeeeeeeed to study now, and that was so not possible, but it was also a bit uncomfortable actually. Not loud music or loud TVs or anything, just a bunch of old guys yelling! Technically yelling - someone could just start screaming on top of their lungs, for no apparent reason! Quite weird ...
Anyway, today has not been a great day, I feel like I'm screwing up this course completely and I don't know why, everything is a great big mess and I'm completely stressed out! I have tons of stuff to do for the exam, and I have a very hard time concentrating, and on top of that I have about a million other things on my mind, that I can't let go of, which means I get even more confused and have an even harder time concentrating. And it's an even bigger mess!
*sigh*
It seems to be very intense here up until me and Zorro go to the summerhouse for our mini-vacation on April 6, but I have to say I am really looking forward to that!! I know I have to study, and it will be difficult trying to get started on my essays sitting there, but I am looking forward to the change of environment, because I hope it will give me a chance to catch up with myself, when I can start sorting through all my thoughts and emotions I'm now doing my best to supress, in order for my studies to work out ... But it's still quite a while until then, and I have to start dealing with oral exams and mentor meetings, and economic problems, and meetings with teachers and mentor supervisions and introction meetings and God knows what - before I can go ... As you can tell, it's hard for me to take one thing at a time - if it's at all possible.
I'll stop complaining now, grab a cup of coffee (or 5!) and continue with "God and His People" ...
Turns out some less than quiet neighbours decided to have a party ... a loud party ... a very loud party! I don't mind it so much, and thankfully it doesn't happen very often here, but yesterday I was quite disturbed by it.
First and foremost of course because I neeeeeeeed to study now, and that was so not possible, but it was also a bit uncomfortable actually. Not loud music or loud TVs or anything, just a bunch of old guys yelling! Technically yelling - someone could just start screaming on top of their lungs, for no apparent reason! Quite weird ...
Anyway, today has not been a great day, I feel like I'm screwing up this course completely and I don't know why, everything is a great big mess and I'm completely stressed out! I have tons of stuff to do for the exam, and I have a very hard time concentrating, and on top of that I have about a million other things on my mind, that I can't let go of, which means I get even more confused and have an even harder time concentrating. And it's an even bigger mess!
*sigh*
It seems to be very intense here up until me and Zorro go to the summerhouse for our mini-vacation on April 6, but I have to say I am really looking forward to that!! I know I have to study, and it will be difficult trying to get started on my essays sitting there, but I am looking forward to the change of environment, because I hope it will give me a chance to catch up with myself, when I can start sorting through all my thoughts and emotions I'm now doing my best to supress, in order for my studies to work out ... But it's still quite a while until then, and I have to start dealing with oral exams and mentor meetings, and economic problems, and meetings with teachers and mentor supervisions and introction meetings and God knows what - before I can go ... As you can tell, it's hard for me to take one thing at a time - if it's at all possible.
I'll stop complaining now, grab a cup of coffee (or 5!) and continue with "God and His People" ...
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