Saturday, 30 September 2006

An Active Day ... Sort Of ...

Today has been rather active after all, even though at the moment I always feel I could and should do more than I am.
The morning was pretty slow, for some reason Zorro seems to take advantage of the days when I don't have to get up so early, so he starts tearing the place apart at about 3.45 a.m. ... so not funny! I really want to get up at about seven or half past, in order to catch up on everything, but since he's completely insane between four and half past six, there's no way I can get up that early.
Anyway, I got a bit more active later on, so I went to the post office and mailed some magazines I'd sold, I did some grocery shopping, I cleaned most of my apartment (except for my bedroom, which has been like the left-overs of a war for several weeks now - I have no idea when I'll get the energy to start cleaning up in here ... Also, I got some studying done, but I wish I'd done more!
It feels like I'll never catch up on my studies, but I guess I'll just have to keep trying and hope for the best ...

I'm also doing my best to try to get over the thing that happened yesterday at lectures. Luckily for me, I've gotten a whole lot of support from people around, actually a lot more suport than I had expected, and that feels really, really good! I also feel glad that I talked to this other girl on the train yesterday, because that gave me a sense of "belonging" in the group, since most of the others in the group feel the same way I do about this girl ...
I still worry a bit about Monday though, what it will be like to see her again ... I know many people there are avoiding her, have a hard time even saying hello to her, but since we are such a small group, you can't just "ignore her and maybe she'll go away" ... becuase that is so not gonna happen.
Guess I'll have to wait and see, right! At least I've learned one lesson: I'm not sitting next to her again, that's for sure!!

It's rather early, but since I am feeling tired, I'll try to get some rest now!
Good night!

Jessica's Websites

Friday, 29 September 2006

Somewhat Hopeful ...

Today has actually been a rather demanding day, as there have been some major ups as well as downs today. I'm not complaining about the "ups", don't get me wrong there, :-) but it's always hard when things go either really good or really bad ... and in my case, they've done both!

We had lectures today, the last time with this professor. He's really great, so it was a shame to see the last of him. Still, the next teacher we'll get is also terrific, so I'm sure that'll be okay to. There are some frictions in the group of us students though, and it showed itself rather clearly today. The group is rather small, if everybody is present I think we are about 20 students, but today we were only 8 or something. Anyway, there's this one girl there, who's really into religion, she found it herself not long ago, and she's not exactly the quiet type ... to say the least. I've been reacting to her before, because even though she's entitled to her beliefs - of course - she seems very adament to make everybody else believe what she does ... and that is something I have a very hard time coping with. She was rather "pushy" during the lecture today, kept commenting on what our professor said etc, and that felt a bit awkward. I sat next to her, and during the break we started talking. Since I have these major issues about social situations at Uni, I was totally happy that she actually talked to me, and I felt I had to try and take advantage of the moment. I certainly wish I hadn't ... She started asking me about my background and my beliefs, which of course is fairly natural, as we're studying theology. I didn't quite know what to answer though, as I'm not really quite sure what I belive right now. I tried to be "open" to her ideas but kept telling her that I really needed to feel my own way right now, and that I was interested in taking in different perspectives. She replies that there are no perspectives to take in, there are just two choices; either you live with God or you live with Satan. That really struck a nerve with me, because I do have a background in the Church, I was active for a number of years, and I certainly believe something, even though I might not all the time follow the Church's guidelines. But this thing ... she was actually telling me that since I didn't share her beliefs, I am living with Satan!! It really effected me, and it really made me very, very sad! Satan, the Devil, even though I might not be Christian in the strictest sense, is something very evil to me, it's something beyond all the horror stories you hear about all the time, and to hear that I had chosen to live with Satan ... it really hurt me!!
I won't go on and on about it, but it did have an impact on me, that's for sure!
This girl kept interrupting the lecture even during the second half, and I could tell that our teacher wasn't to keen on it at the end, but he's really friendly and very polite, so I guess he didn't want to say anything!

I left right after lectures, as I was still feeling upset. Even though maybe I should have tried to stay and maybe seek some contact with somebody else there, I really didn't feel up to it. When I waited for the train, the girl I usually meet in the mornings were there. She doesn't usually ride that train home, so I was quite surprised, and actually not so happy. When I'm really down, I have a hard time pretending like everything is great, and try to socialize, but she came up to me right away, so I didn't have a choice! We hadn't spoken many words, before she actually brought up this girl herself!! She hadn't heard anything that went on during the break today, but aparently this girl has been going on like this for a while, and more or less everybody is really sick of her! We discussed this all the way on the train, and to my huge surprise, it felt really really good to talk to somebody about it, even though it was someone I don't know very well! I was totally set on writing my diary full about this - and I did, once I got home! - but it truly felt surprisingly good to talk to her. Maybe, since I know more people are a bit anti this girl, I might have a better chance of getting to know the others ... *hoping*

When I got home, I piecked up the tickets for the "Musical Highlights" show on October 8th, and to my great joy, it worked out perfectly!! I got the tickets, for the right show and day, the price was correct ... I can't say I'm spoiled with that at the moment, so it felt like a great relief!

Unfortunately, I haven't managed to do a lot during the rest of the day. I know I have tons of stuff that needs to get done, but at the moment I'm just soooo tired, I just don't have the energy to get on with it!
It feels great to know that it's the weekend now!! I know I have to do a lot of things, and next week is looking very intense, but at least I don't have to get up at 5 p.m., and I can take my time doing things, without having to worry about anybody else.

This day has, like I said, been kind of strange. At first it felt okay at Uni, I "sort of" talked a little with some girls before the lecture ... and then the thing at the break really hurt me and left me sad and down, but then I talked to this other girl on the train and felt a lot better ... 'oh, no, my life is not confusing at all!'

Anyway, I'm off to bed now, as I have a feeling I'm gonna need all the sleep I can get to cope in the future!

Jessica's Websites

Thursday, 28 September 2006

A Short Entry!

This will have to be a short blog-entry, as I am really tired and I have to get up at 5 a.m. tomorrow - definately not looking forward to that.

My mood goes a little up and down at the moment. Some things feel pretty good, I'm content with myself and what I achieve, and other stuff feels just dreadful and makes me feel really down and depressed. It's confusing to live, that's for sure! :-)

It seems I am at the moment in a time of my life where absolutely nothing runs smoothly, everything seems to be just about as complicated as it can be! A few examples:
I managed to get a reply by email from the lady regarding the Animal Hotel! The dates were no problem, and she asked me to email her back about the times when she was going to pick up and drop off Zorro. So I emailed and asked could she come and pick him up sometime between 11 and 1 on the day that I leave, and drop him off anytime after 3 p.m. on the day when I get back. About an hour later I get the reply that she can pick him up and drop him off at 11 ... eh, huh? I'm not even HOME until after 3 ... I emailed her back again, and has not heard from her since ...
Second example ... I got a letter in the mail today, which looked sort of strange. It turned out to be my ticket for Chess, and I was really happy it had come so quickly! Until I opened it, and realized the ticket was for the wrong day!!! It said Saturday November 11th, instead of Sunday, November 12th!! Also, I really can't go on Saturday, since I'm seeing the Best of West End show than!! I managed to track down my Dad, and he and his girlfriend contacted the Arena in Oslo, and aparently I should send the ticket back to them, and when they get it, they will send me another ticket for the correct day! That sounds good, but at the moment, I would be satisfied until I have the actual - and correct - ticket in my hand!

I'm worrying a little about tomorrow as well ... we have lectures, and it didn't work out so great last time, so I can't help but feeling kind of nervous. This will also be the last lecture during the Psychology of Religion-part of the course, on Monday we start on Sociology of Religion with another teacher ... I think it will be really interesting, and the "new" teacher is fantastic, I've had him before, but I'm still worried about what kind of assignments he'll give out, will there be even more group assignments, and how on Earth will I be able to handle that? I'm certainly not doing a good job of it now, that's for sure ...

Okay, I'll quit here, before I get completely insane over all this.
Wish me luck tomorrow! :)
Good night!

Jessica's Websites

Wednesday, 27 September 2006

Not Quite Sure ...

... how things turned out today. I have rather mixed feelings about the entire day, so I'm feeling quite confused now!
The lecture in itself was okay, I suppose. The social situation now is better, I fully realize that, but there are still things about how to 'play the social game' (if you know what I mean), that I feel I don't grasp at all. I don't understand the motives, the signs and the way people interact with eachother ... I guess this sounds super-complicated, and I don't really mean it to, I'm talking about social interaction on a fairly base level. More and more I'm feeling that I can cope with the social interaction around me, though not at Uni. There are undercurrents going on there that seems completely impossible for me to comprehend, and that is rather tough ...
Over to the pressing issue of the "group-thing" ... I met this girl already at the train station today, and while we were walking I managed to ask her about the groups. I really should have waited, because things were rather hectic and busy with lots of people everywhere, but it's to late to think about that now. I didn't really want to just jump in and say "Hey, can I join your group? Good, yay, now that's settled" ... that hardly felt like a good solution. So I started out by asking her, had she thought about it at all. The reply I got was pretty much that most of the students in the entire group knew eachother, and that she and three others were more or less given without even really "deciding" it. I guess that makes sense, if you are a couple of friends taking the same course, it's natural that you do group assignments together, you don't really have to talk about it. I didn't exactly feel exstatic after that, but managed to mumble something about me not knowing anyone in the group, and how it's not very funny to do the assignment completely on my own. She was friendly enough, and told me that she thought I could join her group or whatnot ... but it all felt terribly vague and I can't say that I feel good about it all. I can't see the group dynamics working smoothly either, with them three being old friends, and me completely outside that friendship ... Still, I can't help being "happy" (if that's the correct term...) about the fact that I came out and asked her! A while back, I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have done that, so that is good, I know that. But I can't see this group assignment working out in a satisfactory way, that's for sure!

After lectures I was suppose to pick up the tickets for the Musical Highlights show, but it just wouldn't work out! It's a really long and really complicated story, and I don't have the energy to go into it now. I did manage to solve it (I'll pick up the tickets tomorrow or on Friday), but I didn't do as well as I had hoped, so even though I think/hope it will work out now, I can't say I feel great about myself!

Luckily we have no lectures tomorrow, it'll be absolutely wonderful to have a day all to myself. Hopefully I can manage to catch up on some of all the stuff I need to do, at least I hope so! This big theory on "Time for a Change" I had a few days ago ... well, it's still with me, but I find it very hard to really go through with it. I can't say I don't do anything, because I do try, but at the moment, I just don't feel I have the energy to apply myself 100% ...

Okay, finishing off with something a little more positive here, I don't want to sound too depressing. I recieved a nice little package today with the musical dvds: Rent, The Producers and Mary Poppins (Special Edition) ... Nice!! Don't know when I'll find the time to sit down and watch them properly, but at least I know I have something to look forward to! :-)

Jessica's Websites

Tuesday, 26 September 2006

Good News ... I Think?

This has been a pretty good day, I think. At the moment, I'm totally tired, so I'm not quite sure how to sort through all the events of today, but at least I'll give it a try.
We had lectures this morning, and I arrive at about the same time as this other girl I have talked to a little. We both come in on the same train (although it's so crowded, we never see each other until we're outside the lecture hall! Anyway, we're both early, since the train come in early, and I think it's working out fairly well, she's friendly and pretty easy to talk to. Of course, as soon as her two friends arrive, I'm on the outer again. I'm not very disappointed though, because it's a huge improvement for me, just to be able to talk to somebody!!
The entire lecture today was spent on Sigmund Freud, so we had quite an interesting morning! :) At the end of the lecture one of the other students asked about our examination, and while our professor was rather vague at least he confirmed that it will be a group assignment with a written and oral presentation at the end. Not what I had dreamed of .... My best bet is to ask this girl I've been talking to, if there's a chance I could join her group, but that will inevitably make our group rather large, with me I'm fairly sure it will be 4 students ... but I can't really see myself asking somebody else! Also, I HATE asking things like this!! I always feel like I have to beg them for the favor of accepting me into their group, which is definately not great for your self-estime ....
Aslo, these groups form so enormously quickly, you can hardly blink before everybody has their own little group, so I really feel I need to ask this girl about it tomorrow! *gulp* I'm totally nervous about it, of course, and I think it's a safe bet to say that my anxiety level will reach high tomorrow, but I still feel there's an advantage to ask her first thing in the morning, because we're usually alone there ... and it's definately easier just to ask her, instead of "attacking" the entire group!! What can I say, except ... Wish Me Luck!

Some good news though!! I booked tickets for the 'Musical Highlights' show tonight! Unfortunately my friend couldn't come with me, but I'm still really really looking forward to seeing it!
I also had a few phonecalls from my Dad and his girlfriend today, and eventually it turned out they had gotten tickets for the International Tour of 'Chess' in Oslo! YAY!! *happy now* It was rather complicated so I'm really happy it worked out in the end!
Unfortunately, I still haven't managed to get hold of the lady in charge of the Animal Hotel, and that's getting fairly annoying. Since she needs to pick up Zorro, and drop him off, I need to discuss the times with her, before I make definate plans and book the train tickets! I think I might try to send her an email tomorrow if I haven't heard from her, and see if that's more effective!
Anyway, I'll try to make this an early night (if such a thing is possible), since I've been sleeping so badly lately!
Take care, and good night!

Jessica's Websites

Monday, 25 September 2006

Time For A Change

Today was a much better day than yesterday, thanks for that!
I went to visit my work place, and it worked out really well! Since I haven't been there regularly for a very long time now (nearly 8 months!), it sometimes get a bit awkward - they have new routines that I don't know about, there are new Moms and new babies, that have no idea what I'm doing there etc, but luckily today turned out to be a good day!
Afterwards I went about a bit, running some errands, but at least I managed to all the things I needed to do done in the end.
I got home about 3 p.m. but I have been soooo tired ever since! It really really bothers me that I'm always so tired and I never have any energy at all! I mean, most everybody work 8 hours a day, they have maybe some hobbies, a house, a family with kids ... how do they manage?? When I'm out and about for four or five hours, I'm more or less unconscious!! Earlier I always felt like I could excuse myself with the fact that I wasn't feeling well, I was on sick-leave, I was always very tense and had high levels of anxiety which definately drains you of all energy, but I can't go on making those excuses forever either, can I?
* annoyed with myself *

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I really think I need to start changing some things in my life! I know I'm really bad at that, I always say that I'll "start a new life tomorrow" and it never happens, but I really really feel that I need to make some changes now! I know I won't be able to pull it through if things start going wrong - if I get sick, or if something major goes against me, because that always makes me take a dip in my very own depression-pool. But, if I can stay away from any serious illness and any other major disasters, I really really hope I can make the effort and start chaning! I need to be more disciplined in my life! If I have stuff I need to do, wether it's studying, working on websites, cleaning the apartment or whatever, I need to just get it done! Now I'm mostly just sitting around thinking about all the things I really need to do, but I never ever managed to just get them done! I also really need to start focusing on what I eat! I had this huge gluten-attack the day before the introduction at Uni, which really scared the hell out me! Since then I'm on a gluten-free diet of course, but I need to eat a lot better than what I do! Less fat, less suger, more fibers, vegetables etc! I also really should start exercising, something which I really really hate to do! But I know I need it, and I'm thinking that maybe I won't get so tired if I start exercising regularly!

Okay, I'm rambling on as usual! ;) I'll try to keep you posted on my ideas on changing, to see if I can make them work or not!

Also, I might be able to go to a cool concert in a few weeks! I really hope so! A famous musical couple (they're actually married!), Christer and Cecile Nerfont, will make a show called "Musical Highlights" in a town not far from here, and I totally want to go!! I'm hoping a friend of mine will come with me, but if she can't, I'll definately go alone! :-)

Jessica's Websites

Sunday, 24 September 2006

In A Lousy Mood!

Today has not been a great day for me. I keep sleeping very poorly, and I've spent the entire day in a horrible mood. Nothing seems to work out, I get annoyed and irritated by pretty much anyone and anything. I tried getting some studying done - I have fallen so much behind since I've been ill a lot, and I just can't seem to catch up, no matter what I do! I've put quite a lot of effort into my auctions at Tradera, and yes, I have to admit I have gotten quite a few magazines sold, so I'm happy about that. It's just that at the moment I'm in constant contact with five or six different buyers, and there's problems with each and every one of them. It's totally annoying, because I can't put things behind me, everything turns out to be so complicated!! It's the same with my planned trip to Karlstad, everything turns out to be super-complicated! I don't know when I can go, because the busline might decide to change their tours, and they don't know when, and the tickets for Chess seems to be absolutely impossible to get. There are tickets left, but I can't for the life of me make out how I'll get them. I can't very well pick them up "somewhere in Norway", and there is an option where they send you the tickets, but I don't know if that applies to residents outside Norway! When I registered on the site, I couldn't fill in my "Country", just an address, zip code and city ... I've tried emailing three different email addresses, and of course no reply! I can't get ahold of the lady who runs the Animal Hotel for Zorro either, I just get her answering machine ...
Needless to say, I guess, I'm in a rotten mood!

I certainly hope it will change though, because I have a very tough week coming up! I really really need to go and visit my former work place tomorrow. I haven't been there in ages, and I know that if I don't try to visit regularly, I'll probably never go. And I really really enjoyed myself when I "worked" there, the people were wonderful, and they really helped me a lot! Then, we have lectures Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday!! *gah* Not really used to that ... *gulp* I certainly hope nothing unforeseen pops up, such as migrane attacks or illness, because if I miss any more lectures I probably won't be able to make up for it and pass the course *sigh* On top of that, of course, I have to try and deal with all my other "problems", such as tradera, the trip to Karlstad etc ...

I know it's fairly early yet, but I think I'll try to get off to bed soon anyway. I hardly think I can sleep, but at least I can try to get some rest - I can certainly need it, that's for sure!! Just one more little nudge for my Forums, I'd be sooo happy if there were some more activity going on there, so please check them out :

Also, I tried to pull myself together this evening, and I managed to make some images from the dvd "Hey, Mr Producer!" :) Naturally, I couldn't get the whole dvd done, and considering the mood I was in I thought it was best to do the funniest part first! *lol* Which of course is Les Misérables. I tried to choose some favourite pictures here. Enjoy!

Jessica's Websites

Saturday, 23 September 2006

Pinpointed The Problem?

Today has been a rather slow day, I managed to get some errands done during the morning, and in the afternoon I watched a very intense and exciting hockey game ... "my" team against their arch-enemys!! Nothing much was at stake really, it's just a regular group play for now, but these two teams are always at each other's throats, they've played a whole lot of finals, so everybody really wants to win! So, the enemies take the lead, and before long, it was 0-3 ... totally horrible! Well, my team managed to come back, and when about 10 minutes of the game remained, it was 3-3! When the other team scores 3-4!! My team fought like crazy and with 9 seconds to go, they made 4-4 ... so they got one point each, which was farily fair ... even though I want my team to win of course!

I have however really thougth about something today! Namely these "issues" I keep having at Uni, how the social situation is so terrible there. I've always had a hard time with social situations, and I got the diagnose Social Phobia ... but this has in some ways felt different. And I think it really is different! I'm noticing on very many levels now that I actually can deal with social situations, in a way that I couldn't before! Okay, it's not easy for me, I still get nervous and I still, on occasion, have anxiety attacks, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was 1-2-3-4 years ago!! So I must be getting better!! I can call authorities, or try to arrange trips, or buy tickets. I can talk to my neighbours when I meet them outside, I can have the occasional chat with the busdriver or a clerk in a store ... so I really really must be getting better.
This "getting better" however, does not apply at Uni. It's like some huge barrier or obstacle that's in my way, and I can't get around it ! When I really think about it, I can see that there are reasons for this. It was at Uni my problems really showed themselves (in the fall of 2001), it was at Uni this whole social situation became acute, and it's also at Uni I feel I have my future! I have still pretty much only started my eduction, and I'm even thinking of moving beyond a Masters-degree and do research, which naturally puts the pressure on. If I'm, at least in theory, going to "spend the rest of my life at Uni" (if you know what I mean ...), I sort of have to be able to handle it.
These thoughts, of course, leads to more anxiety and me being even more nervous, and that only makes the obstacles even harder to get around!!
I'm not sure what to do about this either, because I can't just "forget about the pressures and move on", even though I wish I could. Unfortunately, life isn't quite that simple, is it?
Still, I really believe in the fact that if you are aware of a problem, you can see what the problem is on a conscious level, then you're off to a good start. Things don't solve themselves just because of that, but at least you are better equipped to deal with them!

Okay, now moving away from this rather deep set of thoughts! Can't say that I have much else to write about, but I did managed to make a siggie/avatar set this afternoon ... take a look:

Jessica's Websites

Friday, 22 September 2006

Going Up ?

I'm sitting here trying to figure out wether my day today was actually a going a little better than before. I think it might. I'm not saying I'm on top of the world, becuase I'm not, but every little thing that doesn't make my life feel worse at the moment are good!

First of all this morning, I called the Hotel to see if she could take on Zorro for me. Naturally, I had to talk to hear answering machine. I don't mind that so much, but she hasn't called me yet ... that shouldn't really get to me, especially since I'm not going until November, but there are so many "unsolved things" about this trip, I would really like to start organizing it properly. Still, I'd better give her a few days before I call again.

Next on the agenda was trying to put together two assignments I had for Uni. I usually don't have a hard time getting assignments done, I can fix them pretty quickly, so I wasn't very worried. Until I started! This willl hopefully teach me not to take anything for granted! First of all, I hardly understood the chapter in the book we were suppose to read ... I'm taking a course in Psychology of Religion now, which is very very interesting, but this chapter was about how you "measure" religion, how to get quantitative statistics on various aspects of religion - and trust me when I say it was complicated. Anyway, I finished the chapter in high spirits, thinking that once I read the questions, I'd probably see that it wasn't all that difficult! Yeah right! *ironic smile here* I hardly understood the questions!!!
I tried to write something or other down on paper, and it ended up being gibberish! Totally frustrating!! Finally I realized that I had to get these stupid assignments done, no matter what ... so after several hours I managed to at least get something written down!! I have a tendency to always write to much on my assignments - let's just say there'll be none of that here ... we were supposed to write 600-800 words, and I think I ended up with about 530 ... I don't think I've ever written so little ...
Anyhow, now I've handed it in, and if I have misunderstood or gotten the whole thing wrong, my professor will just have to let me know what I did wrong, and I'll have to do it again.

After all this I figured I deserved a break, so I thought I'd go to a large mall about 30 minutes away by bus - I needed to go there anyway to fix some things. I took a quick shower, and when I checked the bus times, I realized I'd have no problems getting to the mall - I just wouldn't be able to go home!! I had no idea the buses were so bad in late afternoon and evening ... I was suppose to go around 3.30 p.m., but I wouldn't be home until almost 9 p.m. That was totally out of the question of course, I'll have to go tomorrow instead.

The afternoon was spent fixing some auctions for a Swedish auction site called Tradera (sort of like eBay), as I'm in the process of selling a lot of stuff right now.

On the whole, this feels like a rather good day though. After all, I managed to call the Animal Hotel - even if I never got to talk to her, at least I have started something. And I wrote the assignments, even if I'm not really happy with them, there's nothing I can do until my professor grades them. And who knows, I might get lucky and pass! :-)
Still, my mood is not terrific. There has been quite a lot of set backs for me personally in the last weeks, and it's always tough to deal with that. I will deal with them, of course, becuase I have no choice ... but that's not to say it's easy to deal with it ...

Also, I re-decorated one of my "websites" and made a minor update. It's the site where I publish graphics of my adorable little sister ... I changed the layout and added four more graphics. You can check it out at:

My Little Sister

Thursday, 21 September 2006

Another Strange Day!

My life seems to consist only of these "strange" days now. I don't really know why, and I can't say that I like it, but I guess I'll have to live with it for now. Although I have to say that living the roller-coaster-life is not my preference, I'd much rather have a normal, quiet life where I knew pretty much what was going on. No such luck though.
Some things today have sort of worked out, I got a bit of studying done, I started doing some cleaning, I worked a bit on the computer etc, but despite that, I'm not in a great mood. It seems like I have been putting off soo much stuff lately, that it seems impossible to catch up! I know there's nothing I can do except keep on trying to get things done, and maybe some day I will be back on track again, but at the moment it feels rather hopeless! I've felt like I've been fairly active today, I've been trying to do things, and not just sit in front of the TV, but despite that, I still have an enormous amount left to do ... so, I can't help asking myself wether my work today was worth anything at all ...

Okay, enough with being totally down and negative now - sorry about that! *trying to cheer myself up a bit*
Still no definite news on my little trip later this fall. I will however try to arrange a place for Zorro at the "Animal Hotel" where he usually stays when I'm gone. It's gonna be a bit tight, becuase I need the lady who runs it to come and pick him up (as I don't have a car), and if I'm gonna catch my planned train, I don't have all the time in the world. Guess I'll have to ask her tomorrow to see if we can squeeze it in.
I'm a bit nervous about having to leave Zorro though. Last time I left him at the Hotel, he came home quite depressed!! He's never had any problems before, he's stayed there many times in the past, so I was quite worried when I saw he wasn't feeling great ... Later on I started thinking though. At the time for Zorro's visit, the Hotel was in the process of moving location, so I'm kind of guessing he was left pretty much alone, maybe there were a lot of construction going on, noises he didn't recognize etc, and that's what made him feel bad. Now it should be a completely different story, so I'm definately willing to try and send him to the Hotel again! I really hope he'll feel better this time, becuase I really don't have anybody else around here that can look after him - so if I can't use the hotel, I pretty much won't be able to go away ... *fingers crossed*

I've spent some time today trying to get my Forums going ... they are slow to say the least. Still, I haven't given up on them yet, as I really really would love it if they worked out and activity and members started increasing!
Feel free to check them out if you like:

The ABC Café - Les Misérables Forum
Jessica & Zorro's Forum

Take care, guys!

Wednesday, 20 September 2006

A Strange Day To Start A Blog!

Yes, I suppose one can say it is a strange day to start a blog on, particularly as I had no intentions what-so-ever to start a new blog today, and fact is, I actually started two! But I guess I'd better start at the beginning.

Things have been going very up-side-down in my life generally for the last couple of weeks. It has felt more or less like I've been going on a roller-coaster, one minute going up, the next minute going down.
Generally though, things seems to start going up again, and nobody is more greatful for that, than me! I still have problems with the social situation at Uni, for example, but after the end of last week, I still felt like I might have started an embryo of something. I didn't have that feeling of total alienation, which has been very common before, I feel like I'm part of a group now, even though I realize there will be problems if (I guess I should rather say 'when') we come to group-projects, something which I well and truly dread! Still, I'll try not to think to far ahead!

Today promised to be a good day, I had no lectures and I have just recovered from a cold, which has kept me more or less in bed for a few days, so my intentions were high to say the least. Unfortunately, the whole day managed to fly by and it feels like I've gotten nothing done at all - which always annoys me a great deal!! I know I am the only one to blame for it, of course, but it still really really bothers me. Due to me having been sick a lot (which is new to me, I hardly ever get physically ill!) the past weeks, I'm behind on everything : cleaning, laundry, the internet, studies ... you name it, and I haven't done it!
I really feel I need to catch up on pretty much everything in order to feel good about myself again ... but not today ....

I tried to fix some stuff on the internet too ... which of course didn't work out. My previous blog went totally bad, as you've probably noticed, since I have a new one now ... I tried to fix it for about an hour, before I completely gave up, and decided to start this one instead!! However, I did actually succeed in one thing at least - I have created a second blog!!
I have realized for some time now, that I seem to come across some wonderful poems, or terrific quotes, or fantastic lyrics ... and I just don't know what to do with them! So now I've created a new blog, which is called Great Lyrics! where I will share all of them with you! Naturally I try to also tell you a bit about where the song/poem/quote etc came from, so you can put it a little more in context! You'll find the blog at:
I hope you'll enjoy it!

I'm also trying to plan a trip later this fall, which turns out to be easier said than done. I'm planning to visit my families in Karlstad, but I want to combine that with a day trip to Oslo to see the International Tour of Chess, with Ramin Karimloo and Michael McCarthy ... and while being in Karlstad trying to see the Best of West End show ... but trying to get all that to work together - along with my Dad and his family, and my Mom, and Zorro - let's just say it isn't easy!

On a last note - please remember that neither this, nor my Great Lyrics!-blog are "finished", I will still add some photos, links etc ... but I still felt that when I well and truly messed up the only "real" blog I had before, I sort of had to get started on this one!

Hope to see you soon!