Swedish Championships - YAY!!

I'll start off with the really good news - my favourite Swedish ice hockey team, Färjestad BK, just won the Swedish Championships! YAY!! While I'm not quite as into ice hockey now that I was say five years ago, I still feel strongly for my team, and I'm most pleased that they won!

Apart from that I have once again battled a headache today - not quite sure where all of these headaches come from but they are starting to really annoy me now ... I need to keep busy now, I have soooo much I need to do and I need to keep at it more or less constantly - and that won't work if I day after day after day keep getting these headaches!!

I took a short trip to Uni, only to attend the lecture - and that was time well spent despite the headache! Nothing revolutionary happened, but everything just felt really good. I got to talk to some nice people, it was - as always! - a very interesting lecture and I had a few words with the teacher afterwards as we have a mentor meeting tomorrow and the students take their first exam on the course next week.

The afternoon wasn't that great, I still felt the headache and I was just completely exhausted for some reason - which made me doze off on the coach only to get up in an even worse mood as I felt I had waisted the entire afternoon!

Tonight was a bit better considering the outcome of the hockey game! :)

Tomorrow is basically about OT lecture and mentor meeting. I'll be doing some baking for the meeting in the morning, and I'll probably go straight home afterwards - but I'm hoping to get a bit done during the afternoon - as these frequent headaches this week has made me fall behind a bit.

Congratulations Russia!

First of all a huge congratulations to Russia, who won the Ice Hockey World Championships!!! Since Sweden didn't make it, I was cheering for Russia (sorry guys, but I don't like the Canadian ice hockey team), and it felt wonderful that they won! Everybody thought Canada would win for sure, since it was played in Quebec, and they are a great team - so nice job, Russia! :) Also, this was their first win since 1993 or something, so they sure deserved it.
Feeling a bit embarrased, but I have to say that the two Swedish umpires didn't do a great job of it, especially in the first period. They got better and better, so I guess some of the Swedish pride might be saved after all! ;)

What's new in my life?!? A bit fat nothing!! I'm working like crazy on a final paper for my Biblical Interpretations course (though I have two other papers left that I should have handed in earlier *sigh*) and it's taking forever, it feels like I'm never getting it done! And time is about to run out now, I am quickly realizing that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I simply have to sleep at least some of them ... but time is still running out!

I'm having a little down period right now, but I'm hoping I can work my way out of it, because I certainly don't have time to go around moping about stuff at this point! I still really want to finish this semester as intended, but sometimes it's hard not to let the negative feelings get to you!

Still, I'm usually feeling worse during weekends, at least that has been common for this semester - for some reason I seem to cope better during the week, so I guess I should be happy it's Sunday night, right?! ;)

Hope you had a great weekend and will have a nice week ahead of you!
My thoughts tonight to someone very dear to me, who isn't feeling the best at the moment! *sending happy thoughts your way*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpretation stuff - STILL!
Currently watching: Ice Hockey World Championships
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at Uni, meeting a friend, and more studies!

Trying Hard To Keep My Sanity!

Okay, maybe it's not all that bad, but I do feel rather drained of most everything right now. I'm in kind of a weird spot actually, because I still REALLY like what I do, I've truly found my passion, I enjoy demanding courses and stuff that forces me to really learn and connect and create something - and at the same time I'm completely exhausted and totally stressed out, meaning I'm kind of upset at all the demanding courses that forces me to do lots of things! *lol* Life sure is confusing these days! :)

We had Old Testament lectures this morning, and I'm in a bit of a problem with that course now. We're supposed to start on parts of Isaiah tomorrow, and while I have prepared most of the texts for tomorrow, I have prepared none for Friday, and I simply won't have the time to do it tomorrow ... *yikes* I know it's not really required of me, and lots of students that take the course "for real" aren't prepared, but I know I feel better when I am, and I also find it easier to follow the lecture and get good notes if I am prepared. Unfortunately I've already gone beyond the possibilty of pulling even one single all-nighter right now, I need at least five hours, hopefully more, every night to function now ... *sigh* Not much to do, I guess.

I got some work done in the library afterwards, the book that didn't exist yesterday and suddenly appeard today, three copies of it! *lol* So at least I could get that part done! I've worked on it at home as well, and while I'm not "finished" in any sense of the word, at least I know I have something to present and discuss at the seminar tomorrow - and that's the main thing. Also, since I have Old Testament lectures 8-10 and the seminar is at 1, I will get 3 hours in the library tomorrow as well, to work on it some more ...

Oh yeah - Sweden made it to semi-finals in the Ice Hockey Championships after beating the Czech Republic, in sudden death! It was a really exciting game, I should have studied, but I at least had to watch the third period and the sudden death! YAY Sweden!!! :)

And speaking of getting five hours sleep (preferably more) per night, and the fact that I have to get up at 4 a.m. ... I should go to bed now!
Good night!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Stuff for my essay/paper
Currently watching: The Ice Hockey Championships
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies at the library, Biblical Interpretation seminar, more studies

Into A Black Hole - And Back!

It certainly feels like I've been into a black hole these past few days, but it seems I've made my way back now! :)
I spent most of Monday studying, and during the late afternoon I was going to review an article, as I had a group presentation on that on Tuesday morning. I had had a headache more or less all day, and it quickly developed into a purely horrible migraine!! There was no way I could get anything done, so I stumbled to bed and set my alarm to 2 a.m. hoping that most of the headache/migraine would be gone, and I would be able to finish the presentation then ... and no, it didn't work! (Guess I hadn't really thought it would work either ...) I was in just as much pain when I woke up - and most of Tuesday!!
Since every moment on that course (Biblical Interpretation) is mandatory, and I had left my group hanging, I had to spend some time trying to apologize to all the other group memebers, as well as trying to get hold of the teacher and work out some alternate solution to this whole article-thing.
It did work out - I'm gonna have a personal meeting with him and discuss it later - but the whole migraine attack and all it's consequences really came at the worst possible moment in my life!
Though hardly surprising I suppose, considering how much strain I'm under now ...

I couldn't do anything at all yesterday apart from lying in my bed ... great day - not!!
Still, I started getting better last night, and even though studies was out of the question, at least I felt I was over the worse ...

Now I'm hopefully back on track again - so I can catch up on ever more lost time!! I was at Old Testament-lectures this morning, and had intended to stay at Uni to study. However, after merely half an hour, my headache was starting to come back - GAH!!! I immediately went home, ate a little, took a load of pills, and slept for almost two hours - and that did the trick! *yes!!*

I have managed to get some studies done this afternoon and tonight, which feels good - but I'm still WAAAAAY behind on pretty much everything, so I don't think I'll feel "good" about my life until this whole mess is over - because at least I know I have done what I could then ... now I'm just generally frustrated about pretty much everything ....

Also watched pits and pieces of the Ice Hockey World Championships tonight - but rather wish I hadn't!! Sweden lost to Switzerland and thereby lost the first place in the first group play! *deep sigh* I didn't watch the entire game, but it certainly didn't feel like Sweden gave all they really could ... ah well - the world doesn't end because of a hockey game, right?! :)

Tomorrow I'm up early for Old Testament lectures again, and then I'm hoping to be able to get some studying done at the library, so fingers crossed for no more headaches, right?! ;)

Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: A great mess of books ....
Currently watching: Ice Hockey World Championships (Sweden - Switzerland)
Currently listening to: Les Misérables Israeli Radio Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies

Still Feels Tough!

My studies are still going very slow, and the slower it gets, the more stressed out and frustrated I get. Not great, that's for sure!
Hebrew/Old Testament lecture this morning, and I think it worked out ... though when I'm in this kind of mood, I tend to not know what I think about what's going on. One minute I'm thinking, 'This worked out, that's great, that's working', and the next minute it's, 'oh no, I shouldn't have done that or said that' and everything is just a great big mess in my head.
I've made some decisions regarding that course - since I'm not really taking it, but now everything is really complicated and I'm starting to wonder about that decision ... and then a voice inside me keeps telling me I shouldn't even think about that course, since I'm actually not taking it for credit - and that I instead should start thinking about the courses I am taking for credit ...
Yeah, okay, now I'm sounding like a rambling, raving lunatic ... guess I'd better be quite.

About the only other thing that's happened today is laundry! Relatively boring, but it has to be done. Lucky for me I managed to get a double booking so I actually completely emptied my laundry basked - don't know when that happened last! :)

Once again feeling guilty for not studying as much as I should have ... but I should get some hours in at the Department tomorrow. We have Old Testament/Hebrew 8-10 as usual, and then I'm meeting a friend at 2, so hopefully I can be efficient inbetween. I might be studying with a friend, but I'm definately going to suggest we sit in the library, as it's way easier to concentrate there, and you do get a lot more done ....

I really hope I'll feel a bit better, and start feeling like I'm actually getting things done, because I think that is what frustrates me the most! I have a ton of work, but I get no 'check-ups' on the work I'm doing, and then all of a sudden, it's everything at once!! I think over a period of about 2 weeks we're going to have 3 or 4 seminars and hand in 3 papers and one larger 'essay-kind-of-thing', and it's hard to feel like you're putting things behind you now .... even if you're writing your paper, you don't have the seminar and can hand it in for a number of weeks, so in some way it doesn't feel like you're done with it until then ...

God, I'm rambling tonight! I should just give up this entire project and go to bed (have to watch the Swedish Ice Hockey Finals first though! Quite exciting, since the team I'm cheering for (not my favourite, but still ...) has recovered from being now 0-2 to being ahead 5-3 ... yay!)!
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Exploring the texture of texts, Vernon Robbins
Currently watching: Swedish Ice Hockey Finals (HV71-Linköping)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies, meeting a friend, more studies

Not Really A Great Day!

I guess I'm surprised to be in a fairly good mood after all, because this day has indeed not been a great one!

Started out early too, I slept poorly, and Zorro couldn't relax at all!! I stumbled up feeling half-dead, only to realize that we had to put the clocks forward an hour today, so it was even later than I thought!!

I managed to pull myself together and get some studying done during the morning. Around lunch-time I came to realize something not-not-not funny at all!
I had been making plans with Annika to join her and a friend of hers (I know her from online though) to go to Gothenburg in May and see a Tour of Sweeny Tood!! I haven't seen a musical in ages, and I was thrilled to find out that both Michael McCarthy and David Shannon would be in it!! I've seen David Shannon in the Internation Tour of Chess in Oslo and he totally impressed me - and Michael McCarthy is my favourite musical performer after Philip Quast - so I was really excited to get to see them both!!
Only until I started checking out trains and buses and realized there was no way I would be able to!!!!!!! I don't want to take Zorro somewhere, so the idea was just to go to Gothenburg in the late afternoon and go home straight after the musical - yeah right!! Aaprently there are no trains whatsoever between half past seven on Saturday evening and half past nine on Sunday morning!! (and the buses were almost as bad!!) There was no way I could make it, so unfortunately I had to cancel!! *sobbing and crying* :( :(

I also went shopping, I had a few things I really needed to get - otherwise I wouldn't have gotten out since it's been storming like crazy here. I went downtown, did the shopping only to find that all three possible buses left like a minute before (would be almost half an hour to the next one). I had a lot to carry, and managed to also realize that I had forgotten most of the important stuff I had to get!!
On the bus home - when I finally got on it - there were not only five kids screaming on top of their lungs, there were also some pretty major misunderstandings - some of them involving me! *DEEP sigh* Lucky for me that didn't happen four years ago, or I would probably not have left my apartment for weeks!!

I did manage to pull myself together a bit during the afternoon, I finished cleaning my apartment and also got some more studying done ...
But now I'm depressed again!! Swedish Ice Hockey Finals .... my team, Färjestad, SUCK this year!!! And it's horrible!!! They've managed to get to semi-finals (beating their worse enemy, Frölunda - yay!! *evil smile!*), but now it looks like they're going to loose to Linköping!!

Oh, and if you hadn't noticed: this was NOT a good day!
*grumpy*

Still, and I surprise myself writing this down, I am actually looking forward to tomorrow!! (that is so not like me!!!!) *lol*
We start up the new Hebrew course tomorrow at 10, and I really enjoy the group, the students and the teacher, and I know this course will be even more interesting and exciting then the last one (which I really enjoyed!!), so I am looking forward to that! In the afternoon we have the introduction to the Biblical Interpretation course, and while I'm not quite as excited about that one, I am looking forward to learning what they did to our schedule and why they decided to almost cut our lectures in half!!!

I will probably be very tired tomorrow night, but I'm hoping I'll be in a better mood then! :)
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Himlen är en plats på jorden, Åke Edwardsson
Currently watching: Navy CIS, I think
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow:Hebrew lecture, Biblical Interpretation lecture, some errands, studies

Back To Normal ... I Think?

I think my life is pretty much back to normal now, I have completed all my blog entries, sorted through all the digital photos on my computer, unpacked everything and put it away, and generally, things feel like they usually do!

So now I have to prepare myself for some "busy-time", becuase according to me, it doesn't look like I'll be able to relax much at all before June ... *yikes*! Seriously though, it probably won't be that bad, but it will be tough to get through everything now. I am very motivated to get started on pretty much everything now though, which feels great, and I'm hoping I'll be able to cope better now than I have before!
I know I had a few weeks in mid-November where things were feeling pretty good, I was efficiant and got things done and I felt pretty content with myself, so my aim is of course to reach that state of mind again as soon as possible!

Studies is what my life will be about now, that and not much more actually! It will be difficult to sort things out now, but I feel like I can at least work something out, even though it might not go exactly according to plan, and I guess that's the main thing. I have two courses that I really should complete before January 21st, when spring semester starts, but I'm not sure that will be possible, so I might have to postpone one of them for a few weeks. Then, when the new semester starts, I will most likely take two full-time courses at once, during the entire semester, and that will be demanding to say the least! At the moment, I feel 200% motivated, and I hope that feeling sticks, because then I feel confident I will cope with it as well.

I'll soon be going back to watching the Junior Championships in Ice Hockey, between Sweden and Canada, although the 1st period wasn't great, as Canada made two fairly easy goals! :( Guess I'll have to hope for better luck in 2nd and 3rd period ... Sweden hasn't won a Junior Championship since 1980, so it's about time now!!

Now I'm actually looking forward to getting back to blogging as usual, about once a day! :)
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown
Currently watching: Junior Championships Ice Hockey Sweden-Canada
Currently listening to: Dites-Moi Ce Qui Se Passe - Les Misérables Original French Concept Album
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies full time!

Preparing For Next Week!

Today has mostly been spent preparing for next week, which will be intense to say the least!! To give you a short summary:
Monday: Lectures 12-2, collect rental car at 3, the afternoon will be filled with studies, packing and last minute preparations.
Tuesday: Lectures 8-10, home, pick up Zorro (with the rental car), pick up a friend, settle Zorro at her apartment, return the rental car, train and bus up north to my Dad's (arriving at about half past midnight).
Wednesday: Full steam ahead with my young sisters!
Thursday: Christening at noon, than back home for some photographing, driving my Mum's car to pick up Zorro (about 7-8 hours drive), then home.
Friday: Dinner with two friends.

So it will definately take both practical and emotional preparation to get this week to work out! I really look forward to seeing my sisters again of course, I haven't seen them since January (when my youngest sister was only a week old!!), but it will definately be a very intense week.

Don't have that much else to write about, I've spent most of today cleaning and studying - and watching the last of the Ice Hockey World Championships!
Not even a medal for Sweden (who lost the game for third place to Russia)
And of course a big congratulations to Canada who won!! (although I cheered for Finland)

Take care guys!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Blowfly by Patricia Cornwell
Currently watching: Wallander - Afrikanen
Currently listening to: ----
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, studying, cleaning, packing ...

Grumpy!

Yes, I'm definately in a grumpy mood today!! Nothing has really worked out at all today, starting early this morning when - no, no bird this time!! - I woke up with a severe headache - third day in a row ... *sigh*
This pretty much limits my ability to do anything, and right now, I need to do so much!!
At least the headache subsided a little - but it has come and gone throughout the day! I managed to do some shopping, and I have started to clean up the apartment, but it's certainly been going in slow-motion today, that's for sure ... And I have tons to do before next week starts, so I'm already beginning to dread tomorrow ...

At about lunch-time I watched the first Ice Hockey Semi-Finals between Russia and Finland - well, I didn't watch it closely, but it was certainly on! Quite a good game actually, though some foul play at times. Finland won - fairly - in sudden death, 2-1, and went on to the finals.
Tonight it was time for the second semi-final between Canada and Sweden ... NOT a good game, that's for sure!! I don't know what had happened in the Swedish team but they hardly seemed to have any fighting spirit at all! Okay, after the first period, it was 3-0 to Canada, but they still had 40 minutes to even the score ... it ended up being 4-1 - so Sweden are playing for third place against Russia tomorrow, and Canada and Finland will meet in the finals ...
I found out that you could chat to one of the commentators online after the game, I've never been into that sort of thing before but I thought it would be cool to check it out ... I even sent in a question - but of course my question were never answered before they closed the chat (though several other - *stupid* - questions were answered ... *sigh*

Definately not been my day today, that's for sure! Guess I'd better get to bed early and hope tomorrow will be better!
Good night!

Edit: *weirdness* I have tried editing this post a number of times, but aparently something is wrong (so what else is new with my life? *sigh*) and the '0 COMMENTS' where you're supposed to click if you want to comment my post, has mysteriously disappeared. Sorry about this, seems there's nothing I can do about it ... Hopefully, it will mysteriously re-appear next time I post ....



Jessica's Websites

Worn Out!

It's not even 9 p.m. and I'm feeling completely dead!! Guess it's going to be an early night for me!
I have had a somewhat strange day, where some things have felt quite good, and other things really horrible!!

I'll get to the bad news first ... the exam! I got it back today, and although it wasn't all bad, I have felt really bad about it all day! It turns out it was graded in three different parts, I had passed one of the parts, but failed two. That in itself isn't so bad, because it means I only have to do the ones I failed again. The major problem is that it's a mess about when to take it again! I find it rather difficult to talk to our teacher too, so I'm thinking of sending him an email to see what I can find out ... the problem is, if I have to retake this exam - in whatever form it may be - soon, I probably will miss the course I'm on now!! It's so intense, and for the first time during this semester I can at least almost feel like I'm keeping track of things, I'm preparing what I'm supposed to prepare, I show up for lectures etc ... so should I just throw that away to study for this exam now? I think it's impossible to do both, so that's not an option! But it isn't easy to choose which one to go for either ... *sigh*

Some good news though. Regarding the group project, it's pretty much settled. I found a girl to work with, we decided on what text to work with, we've told the teacher, and we've set a date for when we're going to actually do it! So that at least is one thing less to worry about ... except of course for the fact that it's an oral presentation - and I don't like them!! I know I did a number of them last semester, which was great, and I think that's taken some of the panic away, but still, seeing as I haven't coped great with this semester, it's still a worry!

Even better news: SWEDEN's in SEMI FINALS in the the Hockey World Championships!! *yay*

We played against Slovakia tonight and it was really a great game! Sweden was in real trouble sometimes, so it was quite exciting! Though I have a hard time getting used to all the foreign players we have in the Swedish League, that are now 'the enemy' .... a good example came tonight. When it was the Swedish Leauge Finals here a while back, my team didn't make it, so I had my eye set on a team called MODO ... their goal keeper was none other than Slovakia's goal keeper tonight, Karol Krizan!! So a little while back, I kept cheering for him like crazy in the Swedish finals - now I only cheer when the puck ends up behind him! *lol*

The ice hockey game improved my spirits a bit, but I have to say that I am very worried about this whole deal about the exam! I guess I really should send that email to my teacher, trying to get to the bottom of what will happen now ... I hate it when things are this confusing ....

Jessica's Websites

A Really Really Bad Day!

Today has been awful!! I have soooo many things to do right now, and I ended up with a headache that left me lying in bed all day long!! *sigh* I could hardly function at all before 5 p.m. this afternoon - meaning of course that I missed lectures today, and the headache have been bad enough so that I haven't been able to study at all!
I have to go tomorrow, I just don't know how I'll manage it! Since last week was fairly chaotic, I'm not sure exactly what it is we're supposed to prepare for tomorrow either, which of course makes me feel even worse.
On top of the whole Uni thing, I have a number of things to try to sort out about my trip, meaning I won't be home until late tomorrow, which in effect also mean that I'm probably gonna be unprepared for Wednesday's lecture as well!! I think I could take it at one time, I mean, I can say that I'm unprepared - after all, I have been sick - but I can't say that all the time, now can I?

I really shouldn't be writing here at the moment, because I'm in a horrible mood, and I mostly feel like buying a one-way ticket for Australia and never ever come back ...

Didn't improve my mood that Sweden lost their game against Russia tonight either ...

Guess we can all hope I have a somewhat more optimistic entry to make tomorrow night, right?

Seeya!


Jessica's Websites

Goooo SWEDEN

YAY!!!! Sweden just won their game against Finland - the two of them are rivals from way back, so this was a nice win! Just 1-0, but hey, that's enough, right?! :)
Sweden's game wasn't THAT great, but our goal keeper Johan Backlund was fantastic! Especially the last few seconds were soooo tight!!!

I've spent most of today studying! I'm at least going to try to follow this last part of the course this semster, and hopefully pass my exam on June 7th ... but it's so much work I'm nearly drowning! Since we had cancelled and moved lectures last week it feels like everything is pretty much a mess, and it's hard to know what we have to prepare for each day ... and it's a lot!! I know it's supposed to be hard work, and I can't protest against that, but I'd like to feel like I've accomplished something!! If I sit and work for two solid hours, at least I want to feel that I've done something, that I can put some of the work behind me - instead I see that I've covered maybe 1/4 or everything I need to prepare for one lecture ... *sigh*
Since we had to make up for the missing lecture last week, we have five lectures this week - one every single day!! And next week I'm going up north for my sister's Christening, there's so much I need to arrange and sort out for the trip to work, I don't know how I'm gonna do it!! There's simply not enough hours of the day - and I'm noticing as I'm getting older that when I'm studying full-time I can't make do with two or three hours sleep a night ... *sigh again*

Okay, this turned out totally depressing - sorry!! I am happy that Sweden won the game tonight, and I'll try not to be too crazy about the studying! I don't have to leave until about half past eleven tomorrow - we have lectures at 12, so I should be able to get some hours work done then as well.

Take care!


Jessica's Websites

Not According To My Plans ...

Today turned out to be a bit different than I thought ...
I got up early and managed to stay fairly focused and get quite a lot of studying done. I mean, you can always do more, can't you, but at least I prepared what was on the schedule for today's lecture, and started on tomorrow's.
I went into Uni, and as soon as I arrived I saw two students from my course. At this point it felt natural to walk up to them - which is a good thing, definately - so I did ... and I was greeted with the words: "The lecture is cancelled!"
Eh ... okay ... I knew that our teacher had spent pretty much all day yesterday in surgery, but he had assured us he would be fine ... We didn't get any explanation, but were told that tomorrow's lecture had been moved forward from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. ... so I'm guessing things aren't that great with our teacher - and there's every chance tomorrow's lectures will be cancelled as well. I totally wouldn't mind that (duh!), because I always work better when I don't have to work against a time-stress-factor all the time, but I also know that we must have these lectuers at some point, meaning the workload the upcoming weeks will be much harder .... I still wish I could get a "home-day" tomorrow, becuase not only do I need to study, it would also be great to be able to relax a little, and catch up on things like cleaning and doing laundry.
The last notice on the website is that tomorrow's lecture is on at 2 p.m., but I'll certainly be checking it all through tomorrow morning.

Luckily for me, I didn't have to stress much this afternoon - which feels great!! I'm really SO tired right now, so it feels fantastic when I can relax a little without a guilty conscience! :)
I've worked a little on my new internet project, and I've also watched the Ice Hockey World Championships, where Sweden beat Denmark by 5-2 ... *yay!*

Unfortunately I've been fighting against a pretty severe headache all afternoon, so I'm gonna turn in early tonight - I need to get a lot of studying done tomorrow morning, since I have to assume that the lecture is on!
Seeya!


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Exam's Over!!

FINALLY!!!!

I know I really shouldn't feel happy about this, because I'm very sure that I have failed the exam! But I just can't help myself ... I actually feel like I have come up with a strategy that has potential to work for the next course, and since everything about this course was such a mess, I'm just glad it's all over. I know I will have to take this exam again, but it will probably not be before late-August, and at least I'll have some chance of "recovery" first!!

I have actually spoiled myself a bit today, and not done any studying at all. We have lectures tomorrow, and we have to prepare quite a bit, but I don't have to leave home until 1p.m. so I figure if I get up fairly early, I'll be able to make the preparations tomorrow!
It's been wonderful to be able to take it easy, tonight I watched the Ice Hockey World Championships, where Sweden beat Switzerland (6-0) and I've also spent some time working on my little project! It looks like I might be able to pull it off, but I still won't guarantee anything ... :)

Take care!


Jessica's Websites

Pinpointed The Problem?

Today has been a rather slow day, I managed to get some errands done during the morning, and in the afternoon I watched a very intense and exciting hockey game ... "my" team against their arch-enemys!! Nothing much was at stake really, it's just a regular group play for now, but these two teams are always at each other's throats, they've played a whole lot of finals, so everybody really wants to win! So, the enemies take the lead, and before long, it was 0-3 ... totally horrible! Well, my team managed to come back, and when about 10 minutes of the game remained, it was 3-3! When the other team scores 3-4!! My team fought like crazy and with 9 seconds to go, they made 4-4 ... so they got one point each, which was farily fair ... even though I want my team to win of course!

I have however really thougth about something today! Namely these "issues" I keep having at Uni, how the social situation is so terrible there. I've always had a hard time with social situations, and I got the diagnose Social Phobia ... but this has in some ways felt different. And I think it really is different! I'm noticing on very many levels now that I actually can deal with social situations, in a way that I couldn't before! Okay, it's not easy for me, I still get nervous and I still, on occasion, have anxiety attacks, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was 1-2-3-4 years ago!! So I must be getting better!! I can call authorities, or try to arrange trips, or buy tickets. I can talk to my neighbours when I meet them outside, I can have the occasional chat with the busdriver or a clerk in a store ... so I really really must be getting better.
This "getting better" however, does not apply at Uni. It's like some huge barrier or obstacle that's in my way, and I can't get around it ! When I really think about it, I can see that there are reasons for this. It was at Uni my problems really showed themselves (in the fall of 2001), it was at Uni this whole social situation became acute, and it's also at Uni I feel I have my future! I have still pretty much only started my eduction, and I'm even thinking of moving beyond a Masters-degree and do research, which naturally puts the pressure on. If I'm, at least in theory, going to "spend the rest of my life at Uni" (if you know what I mean ...), I sort of have to be able to handle it.
These thoughts, of course, leads to more anxiety and me being even more nervous, and that only makes the obstacles even harder to get around!!
I'm not sure what to do about this either, because I can't just "forget about the pressures and move on", even though I wish I could. Unfortunately, life isn't quite that simple, is it?
Still, I really believe in the fact that if you are aware of a problem, you can see what the problem is on a conscious level, then you're off to a good start. Things don't solve themselves just because of that, but at least you are better equipped to deal with them!

Okay, now moving away from this rather deep set of thoughts! Can't say that I have much else to write about, but I did managed to make a siggie/avatar set this afternoon ... take a look:




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