Saturday, 31 May 2008

In A Bad Mood!

This has not exactly been a great day! I didn't sleep well - again! - and I overslept and everything felt awkward. I tried "correcting" my bad mood, by running a bunch of errands I've been putting off for quite some time, but it didn't make me feel much better, and I ended up being overly tired afterwards, which meant less studying!
I can really tell I am completely exhausted now, because every little thing tends to feel really hard!! Add to that a bad case of pollen allergies (I usually feel a little every spring, but this year it's been pretty bad - I guess we've had a lot of pollen now, and I'm very tired and therefore more susceptible) and a suspicion of a lurking cold ... I've had a "cold-kind of headache" all day today, as well as the start of a sore throat - so yeah, BAD mood!
Kicking Dirt

I really know I don't have much to complain about, things could be so much worse, and a lot in my life is actually better now than I ever could have dreamed of ... but I guess I sometimes quite can't see that. It's a bit too easy to get wrapped up in whatever is going on at the moment, and more difficult to see to the big picture ...

I'm off to bed now, just hoping tomorrow will be better, both health-wise, mood-wise and also effectively-wise (eh, that's probably not a real word, but you know what I mean, right?! Brows

Today's Blog Dedication: To a close friend of mine, who is currently going through a very hard time. Know that I'm thinking of you!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: The World Is Not Enough
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow:

Friday, 30 May 2008

Inefficiency And More Pictures!

Today hasn't exactly turned out the way I'd hoped ...
I slept very poorly and dreamed a lot of rather disturbing stuff, so when I stumbled up at 7 a.m. I hardly knew my own name! There was no way I was going to spent the entire day at Uni - and unfortunately, if I'm not there when they open, there's not much point in going (long story, not really in the 'explanation-mood' tonight) ... so I ended up staying home instead.
My tiredness stuck with me, so I haven't gotten as much done as I had hoped. I really am totally stressed out, but I also realize I have to be aware of the fact that it's very natural that I am this tired. Not only because I have a ton of stuff to do and it's the end of the semester, but also because I've been doing stuff all semester that previously has taken me days to recover from!!! I'm thrilled things are going so well now, and I am coping way better than ever before, but I think I do have to accept that even if I'm coping better, things like that still make me tired and weary!

Now I'm hoping for a better night's sleep and hopefully I can be more efficient tomorrow instead! :)

Finishing off with more photos from our outing to Sofiero! Enjoy!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: Empty Chairs and Empty Tables, Les Misérables Original London Cast
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES!

Thursday, 29 May 2008

Good And Bad And ... Confusing!

A confusing day today, to say the least! Most things good, some things bad and ... confusion!

We had Old Testament lectures at 8 this morning, and I was sooo tired, I'm actually surprise I made it to Uni - but I did!
Afterwards I started talking to a couple of other students. We started talking earlier this semester about collecting money and buying something for our professor at the end of the semester. For one thing, he's put up with all of us for an entire semester (*lol*), and second, he's retiring, so we will be the last class he'll ever teach!
We decided on collecting money, and after that, our professor decided he'd have a gathering-buffe'-thingy for all of us after the last lecture (on Monday), so that will be the perfect time to deliver our gift. Anyway, I started talking to them again today, and apparently, they more or less assumed I was in on it in an 'organizing capacity', just like them, because we were the ones who started talking about it - so all of a sudden, without hardly realizing what happened, I was deeply involved in deciding what we should buy and how we should arrange it, and before long, we headed off on a shopping spree! *lol*
We did really well actually, and found what we wanted to in about 1½ hours inbetween lectures, which felt really great!! Also, very new for me, to be so involved in something! It's not like I haven't contributed before, but I've usually wanted to take a backseat to everything - and now all of a sudden I found myself in the middle of it! Can't say that I absolutely loved it - but I didn't hate it either! :)

New lecture at 1.15 - or rather interpretation-presentations ... very intresesting, but I think there's been a little mistake in the lesson plan, putting these interpretations this late in the semester, because nobody bothers except with their own, and I think the point was that you were supposed to learn from the others as well ... Guess that might be something to think about in the future ...

We were done at about 2.50 p.m. but unforutnatley I haven't gotten much done at all this afternoon ... *ooops* I was totally exhausted when I got home, so I figured I could do some cleaning - which is very neccessary - as it doesn't require as much concentration as Hebrew studies ... but I haven't gotten much done at all! :( (that would be the 'bad' part of the title!)
I had hoped to stay home tomorrow, but since I didn't get much done today - not this afternoon, and I hardly had time to study inbetween lectures either, as we were busy hunting for gifts! - I figure I should be at Uni at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning for a full-study-day tomorrow!

And speaking of which - I should really head off to bed now so I can manage to get up tomorrow morning!!!
Take care!

Today's Blog Dedication: To Zorro - for being the best cat and the best friend EVER (even though I get tired and yell like an idiot at times!)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: One Buffalo, Two Buffali, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
My Plans for tomorrow: Full Day Studies at Uni - hopefully some cleaning ... and some errands

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Celebration At Sofiero!

Today we had our big celebration at Sofiero Castle, a little bit north of Helsingborg!! Feeling just a little odd, since I have about two weeks left before I've finished this semester, but at least I could celebrate having sent in my last two papers on the Biblical Interpretations course!!

I met up with Sara, Johanna and Helene in Helsingborg, and it didn't take long before we reached Sofiero - and it was absolutely beautiful!!! A wonderful park, where everything was in full bloom - fantastic to see!! I could have photographed forever, but I tried to restrain myself a bit!!

We walked around for a while, and I really want to back and explore it further, I really liked it!! We found a nice lawn with a view of the ocean for our picnic and really had a lovely time! Just one little thing that wasn't that great, namely the fact that I knew I still have a lot of studying left, and I also knew that I'm gonna have to get up at 4 a.m. tomorrow for Old Testament lectures ... so I couldn't quite relax properly, and I also didn't drink much at all (I think it was two glasses of wine the whole time!) ... which made it a little less fun ... Okay, that sounded horrible, but if I had been able to relax more, I think I would have enjoyed it a bit more ... :) Still, I will be able to relax after the 12th!

I totally enjoyed the day, but the others decided to continue with a BBQ (along with Johanna's fiancé Per) tonight, but I really felt I had to go home. Unfortunately, due to the heat and the wine - and not enough water - I developed a throbbing headache - which I haven't managed to get rid of! That's why this entry will be shorter than I originally intended, but I at least wanted to write something about this day - and also show you some of the photographs! :)
Hopefully, I'll be able to write more about this in another entry, and also show more photos - I'm hoping I might get some photos in the mail from Sara and Helene, who also had their cameras!

Despite the headache - and the not-being-able-to-relax-properly-part of the day, I had a really wonderful time, and I consider myself very lucky to have friends like these to spend time with! (Something I couldn't even have imagined just two years ago!)

Today's Blog Dedication: To Helene, Johanna and Sara - for spending some quality time together! :)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Double Old Testament lectures, studies

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Biblical Interpretation: GOOD BYE!

YES - I have finally emailed the last two papers to my professor and this course is finally over!!! Not before time either, because I have now exactly 15 days to learn everything I need to for my five-week-reading-course ... *gulp* Still, I feel pretty good tonight, because even though I'm stressed out over the reading course and have quite a severe headache, at least I'm done with the Biblical Interpretation course!
Way Too Happy
Today has been rather rough though ...
I was working like crazy on the last paper yesterday ... I kept going until midnight, and by then I couldn't put a Swedish sentence together, so I stumbled to bed and fell asleep at about 12.30 ... had the alarm set at 4 a.m. and stumbled up. Was at work again at 4.45 and kept writing until 6, when I was ready to print my draft and get ready.
Lectures at 8, and I was feeling more dead than alive, so I had a bit of a hard time focusing ...
We were done at 10 and then I sat for almost 3 hours in the library, and started reading a book for my reading-course.
Another Old Testament lecture at 1, and by this time I was really worn out. Five students presented their interpretation-papers, so I didn't have to be quite so focused, which was kind of lucky, because I tended to drift away at times ... *ooops*
We were done at three, and then I ran some errands in town, before taking the train home. By then I was completely out-of-it, and I had a pretty bad dizzy spell on the city bus home, actually so bad I was afraid I was going to faint - and I never feel like that, not even during a panic attack ... so I guess I really was a bit too tired!
I got home with a pretty bad headache, so it took me about 1½ hours to get it reduced to bareable. Then Johanna called, which made it a bit better, and we started talking about tomorrow, when we're going on a picnic to a famous Swedish [former] castle, called Sofiero!! I feel a bit too stressed out to be completely happy about it, but after talking to Johanna, I really started to look forward to it as well! :) (Will bring back pictures tomorrow) Also good we're meeting early, because I can't afford to make it a late night - with a hangover the next day (particularly as I have lectures at 8!!)!

After Johanna called my mood improved a bit, so I changed the last details, and added a few paragraphs I had missed, to my two Biblical Interpretation papers, and actually sent them!!!!! Which means I'm FINALLY done with this course!!! It has been very tough getting through it (even though I've enjoyed it) and it has seriously felt like I've never ever gotten done, but now I finally finally AM DONE!
I have also decided that should this not be enough, and I will have to do more, or add or change things in order to pass, it will have to wait until August!! I can not give this course any more time, I must focus everything on getting the reading course going now ... so even if that means my grade will have to wait until August - so be it! And the positive side of it is: I can truly, truly say that I have left the Biblical Interpretations course behind me now!!!!
Now I almost only have one course to focus on ... pretty cool! Cool

My mind is feeling pretty out-of-it now, so I'm gonna go to bed early tonight - and hopefully get some work done on the reading course tomorrow before heading off on picnic! :)
Take care, guys!

Today's Blog Dedication:To Christopher Lee, who celebrates his 86th birthday today! Happy Birthday, Mr. Lee! (To me he will always be Bond villian Scaramanga, but below is a graphic of him as Saruman from 'Lord of the Rings')

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det sårbara livet, Fredrik Lindström
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Les Miserables Deutsche Originalaufnahme
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies, picnic with friends

Monday, 26 May 2008


Sorry about the title, but I'm just so exhausted and I just feel like dropping every book I own in the ocean - and probably follow in there myself as well!

I started at 6 a.m. this morning (skipped the tour to Uni in order to save time) and started reading this English book ... I had 265 pages left of it, and with 5-10 minute-breaks every hour, I was done by 4 p.m. - with my eyes hurting like Hell!
I took a break and went downtown for some quick grocery shopping! Got home, ate a little, and started again at about 6-6.30 ... this time with writing the paper. I've been at it since then - it's after 10.30 now and I've done HALF!!!!
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Now I can't keep my eyes open, and I REALLY wanted to finish tonight! I have double Old Testament-lectures tomorrow, which means I won't be home until after 4 p.m. and I WANTED to have this over and done with .... but I have no earthly idea how I'm supposed to summerize about 200 pages into two right now ... everything is blurry ... *deep deep sigh*

I really liked this course, well, I guess I still do, it was very exciting and I have learned a great deal from it, but right now, it feels like I'm gonna go on and on and on and on with assignments on this course till I'm 50 years old, at least!!!!!
I can't really gulp down 5 cups of coffee now either, to cope with the rest, since I have to get up at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning in order to get to Uni on time for the first lecture - and I think I'm gonna need more than a couple of hours of sleep if I'm gonna cope with a full day at Uni ....
God, what a MESS!!!

Sorry about these horrible entries lately ... One level of me really does feel good, I'm - like I said in a previous entry - coping with things I haven't coped with before, I have done a really good semester (up until now at least), I'm having friends and almost starting to have what could constitute as a social life (never really thought that would happen!) and those things really make me feel GOOD! On the other hand, this stress of studying is really really getting to me, and it's making me feel awful!!!
*feeling very confused now*

Okay, moving on to something entirely different!
I've been meaning to start something a little new on my blog, I really had intended to get started once I'd reached 10,000 visitors, but things have been so insane, I really haven't had the energy for it ... I guess I'm not really full of energy right now either, but here we go.
I've been reading Joseph Mallozzi's blog lately (for those of you who don't know: he's one of the Executive Producers of Stargate: Atlantis), and he has a nice little tradition of "blog dedication" ... almost every entry is dedicated to one (or more) of his readers for various reasons ... and I thought this was a really cool idea!
It is okay to make requests for a blog dedication (if you have an exam coming up, a birthday coming up, feeling sick and needs cheering up or some 'special occasion'), although I will ultimately choose who will get it (after all, it is my blog, right? *lol*). Also, I might not make a blog dedication every day or every entry, but I will try to include it as often as possible! And today I have the perfect blog dedication to start off with:

Today's Blog Dedication: SARA who turns 25 today!! *HAPPY BIRTHDAY!*
Birthday Surprise Party

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: What Have They Done to the Bible? John Sandys-Wunch
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Double Old Testament lectures, studies

Sunday, 25 May 2008

Rough Weekend!

Sorry about the lack of updates here lately ... this weekend hasn't been much fun at all!
I haven't been feeling very well, neither physically nor mentally, so it's been sort of a mess, and I have fallen even more behind on my studies! *deep sigh*
I think I honestly am trying, these days it just seems that no matter how much I do, it's never ever enough ....

I have more or less finished one paper, but I have about 250 pages to read and another paper to write, before I can even start on my reading course ... they estimate you need five weeks to complete such a course, and tomorrow, it's 2½ weeks until my exam ... way to go - NOT!!

I'll try not to be too depressing, I know I have had a semester better than anything I could have dreamed about, and most of my social phobia problems are still more or less gone now, I cope with things hardly without thinking about them, which is REALLY amazing ... it would just be such a terrible blow if I fail with everything now in the last minute ...
And there I go being negative again ... sorry ...

I'd better write about something completely different than studies now (though I find it hard to find such topics these days!)!
I recieved some photos of my younger sisters the other day and I HAD to scan them - they have grown sooooo much, particularly I (the youngest)!!!

Two outdoor girls!
(I just adore I's hat, I bought it to her for Christmas ... sooo cute!)

Two BIG girls! :)

Rather than falling back to my previous negative writing, I think I'd better sign off with these cute pictures and head back to my books! :)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: What have they done to the Bible? (John Sandys-Wunch)
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Stars, Les Miserables Manchester Cast (Philip Quast)
My Plans for tomorrow: Full-day study-session at the library

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Starting To Fear!

While I'm generally in not-a-too-bad-mood now, there is one thing that is really starting to disturb me now, and I'm not sure if I can work at making it go away either ...
I know I have accomplished quite a lot this semester, more than I had thought at the outset of it, and I really am very proud at how things have gone now. But I am starting to fear I might not be able to go through with it all now ... I mean, go through with it in a way that I'm actually passing my courses!! Since March 31st I have read three courses at the same time, two full-time and one half-time, and I think I have done a good job of it. I'm going to have to get grades on one full-time (Biblical Interpretation) and the half-time reading course now - different kinds of exams but still - and if I don't cope with that, if I fail to hand in papers or if I fail at them, or the oral exam on the reading course ... nothing I've done since the end of March will matter! Okay, that might at first glance sound like overreacting - but I really don't think so!! Okay, I have aquired some knowledge, which is always good, but if I fail these courses, practically, there will be HELL to pay!! Biblical Interpretation will probably not be solved until August or even September, if it doesn't work out now - and that will lead to problems getting accepted to next semester's courses as well as financial problems .... and if I fail the reading course, I'm not sure I can take another exam for this teacher, because he will be retiring after this semester, and then it will be a great, big deal trying to solve that - so in effect, nothing of what I have done, none of the time and the energy I have put in since March 31st will have mattered ...

Now I know I have't always been a model student (at least not before this semester), I've been putting things off, having problems getting things done etc. - and then you somehow have only yourself to blame if things doesn't work out.
But now I am really working my butt off, and I'm so exhausted, at times it's just not possible to study (I can actually look at a text in Swedish, and the letters keep bouncing around, so I can't read it ... that can't be good, right?!) ... and the hours and days pass by and I don't think I will have enough time to prepare and do what I have to do!

Unfortunately, these thoughts have really stuck with me now, which is rather tough to deal with. I'm still pretty able to focus on studying, providing I'm not far to tired, but I'm afraid these thoughts will take over more and more ....

Okay, that was a bit depressing ... sorry!
We had two Old Testament lectures today, first a "normal" one at 8 a.m. and then in the afternoon, four of the members of the group presented their interpretation-papers. It was great knowing I wouldn't have to do anything (since I already have a grade in that course, I decided not to take on another project and write it!). The presentation was quite tough, not quite like an opposision on an essay, but quite close, where the author more or less had to defend their work ... at first I felt almost petrified, and being ever so thankful I didn't have to go through that - but after I while I really felt like, if I had had the time, and done what I myself had considered a good job, I actually would have wanted to present it like that!!! It felt very rewarding, everybody got lots of feedback, our professor is the kindest man, but he's also quite demanding, so it would certainly have been a great challenge to do it ... (and trust me when I say I cannot believe I'm actually feeling this way, because it's SO FAR AWAY from the person I have been for my entire life, except all of a sudden ... now ....

A not so happy note is my health right now. I'm usually quite healthy, physically, but right now I'm not feeling the best, and I think I'll blame pollen combined with exhaustion!! I'm not sure if I'm really allergic to pollen (in a medical sense), but I do feel disturbed if there are lots of pollen ... and now it's been fairly bad actually, and in combination with the warm weather we've been having, I'm quite often experiencing difficulties breathing ... which isn't a pleasant feeling!! The air is quite bad at the Department as well, especially in the library, and I'm truly experiening that I can't breathe! If I sit in a certain 'study-room' at the library, I actually have to go out at least once every half-hour and rinse off in the bathroom ... *sigh*
I didn't even experience anything like this during my worse anxiety-periods, so I'm quite disturbed by it! I'm sure it's nothing dangerous, but it is quite an uncomfortable feeling!

Tonight I have taken a little break from studies, I was really tired when I got home, so instead of studying I have done some cleaning - which is something I totally neglect when I have this much studying going on ... didn't get through that much, but I did some clearing and got through most of the kitchen and the bathroom - points for effort, right?

Now I'm in for an early night, so I can get up early! I'm planning on a full-day-studying-in-the-library tomorrow, so I should be there when they open tomorrow at 9.

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in tradition, John Breck
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 3
Currently listening to: Bustopher Jones, Cats (Original London Cast)
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at the library, studies at home

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Should Be Finished, But ...

We had the last lecture on the Biblical Interpretation course today, so technically I should be finished now ... which of course I'm not! I still have two (or 1½) books to read and write papers on (8 pages in total!) .... and I really need to get it done in a day or two (good luck to me, right?!), because then I have almost all of my reading course left, and if I'm supposed to get through all that stuff - and hopefully have some time for repetition as well - I NEED to get started ... SOON!

Even though I might sound a bit agitated, I have had a good day today! We had Old Testament lectures this morning, and I coped even though I was completely unprepared ... then Biblical Interpretation, and after that some of us from that course had lunch and a chat together, which was quite nice ...

I am however frustrated that it seems neither my energy nor the time will be enough for me to complete this semester ... I really am trying, as hard as I can, but sometimes I'm so exhausted I simply can't get any studying done! Unfortunately, time flies by anyway, so I'm constantly stressing like an idiot!! I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hope I can cope these last few weeks and get results on both my courses, then I'm going to just ENJOY not having to live under such enormous strain and stress ....

I'd better get to bed, I have to get up at 4 a.m. so I'd best get some sleep at least!
Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in Tradition, John Breck
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Two Old Testament lectures, studies!

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Amazing 10000!

Wow, I can't belive it!! 10,000 visistors!!! Quite amazing!! *big, goofy smile*
10,000 visitors in exactly 1 year, 8 months to the day!!! Cool!!!
Thank you all SO much for visiting my blog, I do hope you're enjoying it! ;) Any comments, thoughts or suggestions on improvements are naturally more than welcome!

I realize I should have done something really special on this 10,000th visitor-day, but unfortunately due to the stress I'm under now, I really can't! You have seen the lovely, yet virtual, cake, to celebrate, but that's as far as I can get unfortunately! Still, I'm very happy to see this blog has had so many visitors!

I don't have much new to write about - I'm mostly in a terrible mood right now! I know I shouldn't, but I am and it's driving me insane because I can't get anything done! *sigh* I did manage to get my final paper (don't let that fool you, I still have to papers to hand in for that course, that are overdue!) finished so I emailed it to my professor, but I should have done SO much more which I haven't!
So I'm in quite a bad mood!

Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning!
Take care - and thanks again to all my visitors! :)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Some orthodox church-book
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 2
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, Biblical Interpretation lecture, picnic with Biblical Interpretation course, studies

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Congratulations Russia!

First of all a huge congratulations to Russia, who won the Ice Hockey World Championships!!! Since Sweden didn't make it, I was cheering for Russia (sorry guys, but I don't like the Canadian ice hockey team), and it felt wonderful that they won! Everybody thought Canada would win for sure, since it was played in Quebec, and they are a great team - so nice job, Russia! :) Also, this was their first win since 1993 or something, so they sure deserved it.
Feeling a bit embarrased, but I have to say that the two Swedish umpires didn't do a great job of it, especially in the first period. They got better and better, so I guess some of the Swedish pride might be saved after all! ;)

What's new in my life?!? A bit fat nothing!! I'm working like crazy on a final paper for my Biblical Interpretations course (though I have two other papers left that I should have handed in earlier *sigh*) and it's taking forever, it feels like I'm never getting it done! And time is about to run out now, I am quickly realizing that there are only 24 hours in a day and that I simply have to sleep at least some of them ... but time is still running out!

I'm having a little down period right now, but I'm hoping I can work my way out of it, because I certainly don't have time to go around moping about stuff at this point! I still really want to finish this semester as intended, but sometimes it's hard not to let the negative feelings get to you!

Still, I'm usually feeling worse during weekends, at least that has been common for this semester - for some reason I seem to cope better during the week, so I guess I should be happy it's Sunday night, right?! ;)

Hope you had a great weekend and will have a nice week ahead of you!
My thoughts tonight to someone very dear to me, who isn't feeling the best at the moment! *sending happy thoughts your way*

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpretation stuff - STILL!
Currently watching: Ice Hockey World Championships
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at Uni, meeting a friend, and more studies!

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Kind of Mad!

Today has been a very up-and-down day ... so I'm not quite sure how I feel - but I am mad! (Details will follow)

Old Testament lecture this morning, as usual. Nothing special happened there, so there's not much to elaborate on. At 10 I went to the library, trying to work on the Biblical Interpretation Final Paper. It was ever so slow, but at least I managed to get something done! Also met a few nice people (mostly from the course) to talk to!

We had the seminar at 1, and I think it worked a bit better this time, I felt the discussions going on were more rewarding, and I got some hints and ideas on what to look for when I complete my paper!
We gathered when it was about 20 minutes left, and there came the sorce of my madness. I really like this professor, he's very nice and helpful and friendly ... but he tends to be over-ambitious!! When we got the instructions for this paper it was quite a lot to do - mostly reflecting on your own person and background and how and why you choose to interpret the text as you do, but also a lot of litterature to take into account! However, the page limit was 6 pages, no more. I can understand a page limit, it's there for a good reason, but it felt difficult to be able to cover everything in 6 pages. And since then, he's added more and more and more and more stuff we're supposed to do!!! And that totally upsets me! You should without a doubt give all the instructions at the same time!!!!!!! I certainly appreciate help and advice later on, on how you should proceed with your work, but you should not include new assignments one time after another. This time we got some major questions - like "What is text?", "What status to do you give your text?", "What is the text's context in your perspective of interpretation?" (yes, these are direct translations - he actually talks that way!!) Gee, having such a discussion could easily cover a few pages!!
I really do understand that he wants to limit us, otherwise this paper can turn into something huge, but you must make it reasonable!! If we are to have a decent discussion about everything he says we should include, there is no way possible to limit it to six pages - it's impossible! And how do you know what to leave out, when the professor actually tells you to do it?!!?
*frustration big time*

Sorry about my little outburst, but this has really bothered me all day!! I really like this course, it fits me perfectly, it's interesting and demanding, and I've learned a lot about myself as a person, and how I tend to look at things and interpret things (and not only Biblical texts!), and that is going to be a great help in the future - but to handle an assignment in this way is not good!

One nice thing about Biblical Interpretation is that we decided to have a picnic after the last lecture, which is next Wednesday! :) A bit ironic though - I'm going to three "end-of-semester-celebrations" now, one for Biblical Interpretation, one with some friends (a bit more 'private'), and one for Old Testament (the professor is retiring, so we're his last group, and he decided to invite us to a buffé to celebrate the end of the semester and the end of teaching for him!) - but none of them take place after I'm actually done with this semester!!!
Biblical Interpretation is on Wednesday, my friends are I are 'celebrating' on May 28th and the Old Testament-group will have their get-together on June 2nd ... and my final exam isn't until June 12th! *lol*
Still, I have done SO well this semester, I have every cause to celebrate, even though I'm not done with everything! :)

Otherwise, not much to report! I should have prepared about 20 Bible verses for Old Testament tomorrow, but they were quite difficult and I'm totally exhausted now, so I'm gonna get to bed. Hopefully I can get up early tomorrow, catch an early train, and get some studying done at Uni before lectures (if I leave here at about 6.30, I can be at the Deparment around 7.25, which should at least give me a solid half hour for studies!
Good night!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpreation stuff
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 1
Currently listening to: Les Misérables - Danish recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lectures, studying at Uni, studying at home and oh, yeah - STUDYING!

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Trying Hard To Keep My Sanity!

Okay, maybe it's not all that bad, but I do feel rather drained of most everything right now. I'm in kind of a weird spot actually, because I still REALLY like what I do, I've truly found my passion, I enjoy demanding courses and stuff that forces me to really learn and connect and create something - and at the same time I'm completely exhausted and totally stressed out, meaning I'm kind of upset at all the demanding courses that forces me to do lots of things! *lol* Life sure is confusing these days! :)

We had Old Testament lectures this morning, and I'm in a bit of a problem with that course now. We're supposed to start on parts of Isaiah tomorrow, and while I have prepared most of the texts for tomorrow, I have prepared none for Friday, and I simply won't have the time to do it tomorrow ... *yikes* I know it's not really required of me, and lots of students that take the course "for real" aren't prepared, but I know I feel better when I am, and I also find it easier to follow the lecture and get good notes if I am prepared. Unfortunately I've already gone beyond the possibilty of pulling even one single all-nighter right now, I need at least five hours, hopefully more, every night to function now ... *sigh* Not much to do, I guess.

I got some work done in the library afterwards, the book that didn't exist yesterday and suddenly appeard today, three copies of it! *lol* So at least I could get that part done! I've worked on it at home as well, and while I'm not "finished" in any sense of the word, at least I know I have something to present and discuss at the seminar tomorrow - and that's the main thing. Also, since I have Old Testament lectures 8-10 and the seminar is at 1, I will get 3 hours in the library tomorrow as well, to work on it some more ...

Oh yeah - Sweden made it to semi-finals in the Ice Hockey Championships after beating the Czech Republic, in sudden death! It was a really exciting game, I should have studied, but I at least had to watch the third period and the sudden death! YAY Sweden!!! :)

And speaking of getting five hours sleep (preferably more) per night, and the fact that I have to get up at 4 a.m. ... I should go to bed now!
Good night!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Stuff for my essay/paper
Currently watching: The Ice Hockey Championships
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies at the library, Biblical Interpretation seminar, more studies

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Not As Planned!

I had this really great plan for today, and it didn't work out at all *sigh*! Things are hectic enough as it is right now, and I kind of need things to work out if I'm going to cope.

I had Old Testament lectures this morning, and it worked out fine - actually really well! :) Then I was supposed to have a study session in the library ... when I realized I'd forgotten most of the stuff I needed for one assignment, and the book I had to use for the other assignment was gone ... wasn't in the library! *sigh*
So I had to go home early, and I know I'm never as efficient at home as I am in the library, so naturally I haven't gotten as much done as I had hoped ... :(

Now I'm really tired, and of course Zorro has decided to go completely insane! He's been very calm for a few days now, so I kind of hoped he had settled down a bit - yeah right! *rolling eyes* All I hear right now is him screaming and a lot of thumps and bangs and crashes - I have no idea what's going on in the other rooms, and to be honest, I'm too tired to care right now! I really don't care if he wrecks the place, I just cannot walk around holding him in my arms every minute he's awake - since that is the only way to stop him!
Okay I'm sorry, I know I'm sounding harsh, and I will regret this later on ... but sometimes my patience just runs out ...

Due to all the mishaps today, and the fact that I haven't gotten as much done as I had planned, I had to cancel on a friend I was meeting tomorrow! I was really looking forward to the meeting, as I had to cancel the last one we were having too, but there's just no way I can fit it in right now!

As you can tell, my mood isn't really great right now - but some good things have actually happened today, so I guess I'll have to try and keep them in mind instead of drowning in all the bad things! Anyway, I have a long day tomorrow (Old Testament at 8 a.m., then I can hopefully complete the study session at the library that I couldn't do today), so I'd better head off to bed.

Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Various books for my Biblical Interpretations paper/essay
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture and lots of STUDIES!

Monday, 12 May 2008

A Very Long Day Indeed!

Oh wow, it seems incredible I'm even here blogging! I'm completely exhausted and am serioiusly considering going to bed at 8 p.m.!! :)

Yesterday was pretty terrible, I don't really know why, but the entire day was horrible! *shivers* Which of course I'm paying for now, since I didn't get much done, and now am even more behind! *deep sigh*
I stumbled up early this morning, and went to Uni around nine ... sat in the library constantly studying (except for an 8 minute long banana-coffee break <-- lunch!) until 3 p.m. - did get some stuff done, but most of this is very abstract with lots of lovely phrases and words nobody understands ... well, the problem arises when you're supposed to actually put words down on paper considering those fancy words and phrases you can't grasp the mening of ... It will not be easy to complete this paper, that's for sure!! At 3.15 we had the first of two seminars ... and I think the basic idea is really good - but I'm not sure if I think it turned out so good ... We're supposed to present our paper to the other members of a smaller group (though not me today as I was SO not ready!), and the other members are supposed to give feedback or even "challenge" the presentator so he or she can really clarify why they've written what they have, why they've reached a certain conclusion etc ... AND we were also supposed to discuss some "questions" presented to us at the beginning ... I felt it was interesting to sit in our little groups, but not much "happened" ... We mostly talked about how difficult things were and two members presented their work, but it was more like we just listened to it, I didn't experience much interaction ... Ah well - in one way or another I guess I'll survive both the second seminar on Thursday and the paper in itself ... We were done until after 5 p.m. so I wasn't home until 6 and by then I was completely out of it! I've eaten a little and spent some time in front of the computer, but there's not a chance in Hell I'm going to be able to study any more tonight - so I think I'll go to bed, and maybe I can get in a little while of studying before Old Testament lectures tomorrow ... might be a bit optimistic as I have to leave at 6.45, but who knows!? :) I made two Amanda Tapping graphics using a digi-scrap kit I downloaded a while back, I think they turned out pretty nice! Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Various commentaries/dictionaries and other books, mostly concerning Biblical Interpretation of Deuteronomy
Currently watching: Ice Hockey Championships (Switzerland-Russia, I think?)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lectures, studies - both at home at at Uni

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Bothered By The Heat!

We're currently in a heat wave here and I don't like it!! I've never liked the heat, and I don't think I ever will. Granted, I can take it if I know I don't have to do anything at all and can just relax with a good book and a cold shower nearby, but otherwise, I really really don't like it!!!
You can't help but feel stupid too, because everybody is just soooo excited about it being so lovely weather and the sun is shining and it's nice and hot outside and blah blah blah ... and you just hate it ....

I've tried working on Biblical Interpretation studies today - just realized I'm gonna totally have to focus on that for the next 1½ weeks or so ... partly the essay we're writing and partly the article I'm going to discuss with the professor at some point, since my migraine attack stopped me from being there for the oral presentation ... But I haven't gotten much done, the heat has totally bothered me all the time - I'm having extreme difficulties concentrating and my mood has been outright horrible!!

I overslept too, so the morning was totally slow, and I had to go shopping - hoping also that I might feel a bit more upbeat if I at least got out of the apartment ... but the only result from the shopping trip was extreme sweating, difficulty breathing (due to heat combined with allergies I think) and also some rather nasty dizzy spells, which had me a bit worried! I don't really think there's something serious, it's probably from being exhausted, but I guess my body really is telling me I've done enough now! Unfortuntately, Uni doesn't think so ...

Aparently we're gonna get equally hot tomorrow - GAAAAH! - but better (that is: colder!!) starting next week! Unfortunately, I have a really intense workload tomorrow, so I'm not sure how I'm gonna cope with that if I'm gonna have to do it in a 30-degree heat!

Sorry about the whining, I'm just in a terrible mood!! I spent some time in front of the computer tonight, so I did a Philip Quast wallpaper ... not that happy about it, but I guess it's okay ...

Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpretation stuff
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 10
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies!!

Friday, 9 May 2008

Final Date Is Set!

I had Old Testament lectures this morning, and I got the chance to speak to the professor about my Reading course, that I'm taking for him as well. We decided on a date for my exam, which will be the last thing I'll do during this very eventful semester. Part of me wanted to put it fairly early - the sooner you can get summer vacation the better, right?! :) - but part of me also knew that I'm have serious problems getting everything done, especially now since I'm actually doing three courses at the same time! So I decided to push it the other way instead, so the date is set to June 12th! *gulp* I think that will work out, I have a ton of work to do for Biblical Interpretation now, so I won't have much time to work on my reading course - but hopefully I'll get rid of the Biblical Interpretation stuff fairly soon ... we're supposed to be done with it on May 21st, but I have a feeling I might be handing one or two papers in a bit late ... but I should have it all done by around May 25th, and that gives me a bit over 2 whole weeks to get through the rest of the reading course - so I hope I can manage that!

Otherwise, not much new to report here ... Old Testament lectures like I said this morning, they are always very interesting, and even though I'm up to my ears in work right now, I will definately miss those lectures (who would have thought that considering what I went through on that course last spring?!!!!!)!! The professor on that course will retire this summer (or early fall) and it's a real shame, because he's one of the better ones I've ever had. I think he'll stick around anyway, after all, professors don't really retire, do they, but I know he won't teach anymore! Makes me very happy I decided to take this course again, while he's still running it!!

Otherwise I've tried to work on the Biblical Interpretation Essay most of the day ... it's coming along, but very slowly! I had intended to stay at Uni today, working in the library, since there are some books there I'm gonna need, but I've been bothered by headaches pretty much every day now, and I don't dare risking it turning into another migraine, so I had to go home right after lectures. I can sit during Monday morning, but I'm still not sure I'll be done with everything before the seminar! It seems we'll only discuss/present our essays in smaller groups, so I hope I won't get into too much trouble if I haven't completely finished it.

I spoke to my Dad tonight, and he told me my oldest sister, M, had spent a great deal of today thinking about Zorro ... she kept asking him questions; "What do you think Zorro is doing now, Dad?" .... "Dad, is it summer soon, so Zorro will come and visit us?" Is she adorable or what?!?!
Still don't know anything about summer, but I have a feeling it will be rather intense. I want to spend time with my families and in the summerhouse, I need to spend some time at home, partly hanging out with friends, partly writing an entire essay, I'd love to visit Annika as I haven't seen her properly in ages, there's talk of planning a London trip which can - hopefully - be fairly easily arranged from where my Dad live (then he and his family can take care of Zorro, so I don't have to worry about that) - and my Dad and the family also wants to plan some kind of vacation, hopefullly combining that with visiting me here ... eh, confusing? Oh yeah!!
Still, I'll try not to think too much about that right now, my brain is occupied enough trying to get through the last of my studies!

Also on a short note, tomorrow my thoughts will be with a friend from the Old Testament-course who's getting married tomorrow! All the Best!!

Take care everyone, hope you're enjoying your Friday night!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Biblical Interpretation stuff
Currently watching: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Currently listening to: Face of a Stranger, Philip Quast
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES!

Thursday, 8 May 2008

In For An Intense Weekend!

While I feel I have gotten back from my own personal 'black hole' now, and I've had a really good day today, unfortunately my studies aren't going as well as I'd like them to ... I have fallen very far behind, and I'm having serious difficulty focusing and concentrating the way I should.

We have to present a major paper on Monday, for Biblical Interpretation - it's not supposed to be the final paper, but a finished one is to be presented in smaller groups, so we can give each other feedback and hints on what to improve, before we write the final draft ... and I've hardly even started!! *gasp* It is really interesting stuff, but I can't help but wish I didn't have to stress through it so much ... But I definately know I won't be doing anything besides studying these three days that's left now. I had some vague hope of getting home early tomorrow, as it's Friday, but I quickly realized that a lot of the books I need for the paper are only avaliable at the library, so I'm guessing I'll be stuck there all day tomorrow ... *yawn* Ah well, I really really really do want to finish the semester in a good way, so I guess I'll just have to do what it takes, right?! ;)

Anyway, today has been a really good day, so I'm hoping I can get some energy from that! I am having problems getting up at 4 a.m. though, which is why I'm going to make this an early night and head off to bed. I slept very poorly last night, it took a long time before I could fall alseep, and only after half an hour I woke up from a terrible nightmare, I was practically scared to death and completely froze - it sounds crazy I know, for a 30-year-old to wake up so terrified from a nightmare, I could hardly move ... but I guess some dreams really get to you!
I'm hoping for a calmer night tonight though!

Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Lots about different Biblical Interpretation Methods
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 10
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture and lots of studying!

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Into A Black Hole - And Back!

It certainly feels like I've been into a black hole these past few days, but it seems I've made my way back now! :)
I spent most of Monday studying, and during the late afternoon I was going to review an article, as I had a group presentation on that on Tuesday morning. I had had a headache more or less all day, and it quickly developed into a purely horrible migraine!! There was no way I could get anything done, so I stumbled to bed and set my alarm to 2 a.m. hoping that most of the headache/migraine would be gone, and I would be able to finish the presentation then ... and no, it didn't work! (Guess I hadn't really thought it would work either ...) I was in just as much pain when I woke up - and most of Tuesday!!
Since every moment on that course (Biblical Interpretation) is mandatory, and I had left my group hanging, I had to spend some time trying to apologize to all the other group memebers, as well as trying to get hold of the teacher and work out some alternate solution to this whole article-thing.
It did work out - I'm gonna have a personal meeting with him and discuss it later - but the whole migraine attack and all it's consequences really came at the worst possible moment in my life!
Though hardly surprising I suppose, considering how much strain I'm under now ...

I couldn't do anything at all yesterday apart from lying in my bed ... great day - not!!
Still, I started getting better last night, and even though studies was out of the question, at least I felt I was over the worse ...

Now I'm hopefully back on track again - so I can catch up on ever more lost time!! I was at Old Testament-lectures this morning, and had intended to stay at Uni to study. However, after merely half an hour, my headache was starting to come back - GAH!!! I immediately went home, ate a little, took a load of pills, and slept for almost two hours - and that did the trick! *yes!!*

I have managed to get some studies done this afternoon and tonight, which feels good - but I'm still WAAAAAY behind on pretty much everything, so I don't think I'll feel "good" about my life until this whole mess is over - because at least I know I have done what I could then ... now I'm just generally frustrated about pretty much everything ....

Also watched pits and pieces of the Ice Hockey World Championships tonight - but rather wish I hadn't!! Sweden lost to Switzerland and thereby lost the first place in the first group play! *deep sigh* I didn't watch the entire game, but it certainly didn't feel like Sweden gave all they really could ... ah well - the world doesn't end because of a hockey game, right?! :)

Tomorrow I'm up early for Old Testament lectures again, and then I'm hoping to be able to get some studying done at the library, so fingers crossed for no more headaches, right?! ;)

Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: A great mess of books ....
Currently watching: Ice Hockey World Championships (Sweden - Switzerland)
Currently listening to: Les Misérables Israeli Radio Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies

Sunday, 4 May 2008

Gathering My Composure!

Sunday night is good for reflections deep thoughts, right?! ;)
Seriously though, while I haven't gotten as much studying done as I had hoped - so what else is new?? *rolling eyes* - I have done a lot of thinking! Mostly tonight, when I went for an hour long walk by the ocean - a great way of gathering your thoughts and hopefully reaching some conclusions.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to change the way my life is right now, I'm really worn out and tired, and very confused and stressed out, but I know I at least have to try!! I have 4-5 (depending on the date for my last exam which isn't set yet) weeks left of this semester - and I have a work-load I don't want to go into - but this is my one single chance of actually finishing this semester in a decent and right way!
I have felt better, mentally speaking, than I think I ever have before in my entire life this spring - a lot of things just seem to fall into place, and since I have had to fight so hard for every little step in the right direction before, this is quite an amazing feeling! I feel very strongly about this, and I know that no one can ever take away what I already have accomplished this far. But since I have been feeling so well and things have just worked out in some mysterious way, I feel very motivated to actually finish this semester in the same way! I'm not saying I'll get VG on every exam I have left, I hardly think that will happen, but I want to give everything I have to complete this semester, to not postpone things, to hand in assignments and do my exams ....

And if I am going to be able to that, I'm gonna have to study something like 20 hours a day for the next 4-5 weeks ... and that's where the problems lie of course ...
It's not that I don't mind studying really, since I am very interested and still feel very motivated - the problems are:
  1. I am really really tired, which means I have serious difficulties in concentrating and keeping a focus on what I do for more than a few minutes ...
  2. The work-load is enormous!! I have to translate - and learn, I think (?!) - over 200 long Bible-verses (Hebrew), and I have to read about 1500 pages of litterature, do one oral presentation, write 2 papers (minimum 4 pages each) and write one larger exam/paper/essay .... *gaaaah*
This makes it really hard to just get going and doing it! I usually want to feel like I bury myself in something and then get it done, it's finished, over and I can put it behind me! Well, all these assignments are so big and difficult (both courses now are on "Advanced" level) that I simply cannot put aside 4 hours or 6 hours or even a day, and then complete one project ... and that makes my concentration wander - and things start getting very difficult!

Still, during all my thinking-sessions today I have really come to realize, that if I'm going to have at least one minimal chance of completing this semester in a satisfactory fashion, I'm gonna have to start throwing everything aside, and give 200% of my life in order to get this done.
And I DO WANT to do that - I really do! - I just hope I can keep thinking these thoughts every waking minute of every day for the next 4-5 weeks ... because that might be difficult!

Heavy entry tonight ...
Naturally I had my camera with me on my walk tonight, so here are a few favourites ...:) Actually a lot of photos turned out pretty good, so it was a bit hard to choose! :) (Another favourite has been posten on the Everyday Pictures! blog!)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: God only knows ...
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 9
Currently listening to: Les Misérables Original French Concept Album
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies at the Department - more studies ....

Saturday, 3 May 2008

Yup, It's Still Confusing!

Guess I'll be stuck with this confusion until the end of the semester, right?!
Generally, my mood has been better today than before, but I still haven't managed to get much done at all ... *frustration big time!*

I don't think I should get into an entry about my life right now, because I won't be able to make heads or tails of it, and you'll be both confused and bored to death ... and I wouldn't want that! ;)
Anyway, things are the way they are now - I hope I can start making some sense of my life, at least so I can finish this semester in a way that won't be disastrous ... *fingers crossed*

I took a walk with my camera tonight - got down to the ocean a bit late, and it had gotten a bit foggy, but here are some pictures! Enjoy!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in Tradition, John Breck
Currently watching: Ice Hockey Chapionships (Belarus - Sweden)
Currently listening to: Les Misérables Israeli Radio Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies - what else?!?!!??

Thursday, 1 May 2008

Confusion With A Capital C!

I've had a really terrible day today, and I don't quite know why! I've been in a constant horrible mood since I woke up, and nothing has been able to change it! I've tried studying, but when I'm this upset, I can't concentrate if my life depended on it. Which of course only makes my mood even worse, since things are so stressful right now!

I've mostly landed in complete confusion about everything now ... I know the whole concept of taking one thing at a time and trying to not let things overwhelm you - but I'm just not able to take in a lot of good advice right now!
I'm VERY MUCH hoping for a good night's sleep and hopefully a better day tomorrow! For some unknown mysterious reason I can't seem to cope with being home these days - as soon as I don't have plans at Uni, I tend to get in a terrible mood.
With this in mind, I did have some thoughts of going to Uni for studies tomorrow, despite we don't have any lectures (today was Holiday in Sweden, therefore some people are off tomorrow as well), but I learned that while not the entire Department will be closed tomorrow, the front desk and the library are closed all day - so there's not much point in going there ...
I just hope I can get a decent day at home ....

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Scripture in Tradition
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 6
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Errands and STUDIES