New Year's Eve is here, so it is time to summarize the year of 2008 now! While some people close to me has been going through a rough time this year - and my thoughts are with you, believe me! - 2008 has for me personally quite possibly been the best year ever! I have experienced a lot of things I earlier never ever thought possible and I am genuinly grateful for this year!
January 2008 started off with heavy studies and I went through a big oral exam in a course in Systematic Theology in mid-January! It was my second oral exam, for a 'difficult' teacher and the grade covered half a semester! I went through it and am personally very happy with how I performed. I was one single question away from getting the high grade VG, and I have to admit that still bothers me some, but I'm still very happy with getting through it the way I did!
Right after that I celebrated my 30th birthday, and that day was made unforgettable by Johanna and Sara - thank you SO much again!!
During the spring semester I studied full-time, added one 'reading-course' and followed the Hebrew course (also full time) unofficially - and did great!! I took in total 5 exams (official and unofficial) and had G on the smallest one and VG on all the rest! :) Something I never ever thought I would be able to do!!
Summer was pretty regular to tell the truth! Some things really good, some things not so great!
This fall I have taken full-time Greek, and managed to ace both written exams (technically I had 71 of 72 on the last one, but in all honestly, that was a typing error!)!! Besides that I have also gotten started on my essay, and even though I really wanted to finish it now, I am still very happy with my accomplishments this semester.
I was also asked to be mentor for next semester, in Hebrew, and even though I'm very anxious about that, I feel so extremely honored to have been asked - I just hope I will be able to do a good job of it!
So once again, for me personally I have greatly enjoyed 2008 and I am amazed to have been able to experience such a year! There's no way I dare hope for 2009 to be as good as that, but I will definitely do whatever I can to be able to develop and grow as a person and do the best I can to get yet another wonderful year!
Wow, long time since I've made an entry here now! My reason and maybe excuse for this blog neglect is the fact that I have more or less been out of internet access since I got here. So, what has been going on?
My Dad and his family came back safe and sound - though a bit tired - from their trip to Florida and the kids had certainly grown a lot. Christmas was for once TERRIFIC!! I don't like the Christmas holidays and I stand by that, but Christmas this year has been the best one in a long, long time. I don't want to go into details here, but I think I will always look back at this Christmas with a smile on my face for a long time. I spent almost all of Christmas Eve with my Mum, and we had a wonderful day!! Christmas Day was spent with my Dad although we 'pretended' it to be Christmas Eve for the children's sake. (In Sweden we celebrate on December 24th with Santa and presents)
Since then I have spent most of the time with my Dad and his family although I have had some quality time with my Mum as well. Mostly things have been really good, kids at their age (4½ and almost 2) are fantastic to be around, although I am not at all used to living with so many people, so the intensity sometimes gets to me. I don't have that much time for myself, and I am a person who requires a lot of alone-time. Still, so far the holidays have been really good! :)
I'm now celebrating New Year's Eve with my Mum and after that we don't know for sure. I will probably go back home on January 5th, but we also want to celebrate my Dad's birthday which is a few days later, and we still haven't decided on how to manage that ...
A few more entries will come tonight, when I'm finally in front of the computer... Please excuse me for not sharing any pictures with you, I won't be able to upload photos from my camera onto a computer until I get home, so I'll post a picture-spree then! :)
Stressing as usual, having a lot to do right before I'm leaving! This year, it's not just about me postponing everything, I think, because I really am VERY tired, and everything I try to do, tend to take a really long time. Still, I'll hopefully be able to leave here in reasonable time, as I have at least a 6 hour-drive ahead of me, probably longer due to the weather!
So just a short post to wish you all Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2009! All the Best!
(I might be able to get limited internet access when I'm away, and then I'll try to give you an update, but otherwise I'll be back in January!)
Things are pretty insane right now, to tell the truth! I have been extremely tired lately, and things have been very confusing and I'm now trying to prepare for my holiday trip north, which isn't the easiest thing in the world. I had hoped to be able to leave tomorrow, Friday, but that is completely out of the question now. I really have to leave on Saturday, but it's going to be a tough time until I'm ready to go.
This entry will be a public apology to pretty much everyone I know. I know I have been able to meet a few of you now before the holidays, but not as much as I would have wanted to, and a lot of you I haven't even had the chance to meet! Believe me when I say I am truly sorry about that, I really wish I had stayed in touch better and that we had managed to get together. There's not much I can say, other than the fact that things really have been very chaotic and very confusing lately. I do hope that I will get better at staying in touch with my friends when I get back here after the holidays, I will definitely make an effort to do so. My spring semester will be quite different from this one, it will be intense, once again I will do more than full-time studies and I will also have my job as a mentor to consider, but since there are no lectures, I will be able to control my time in another way, and there will not be specific demands made on me every single day - so hopefully I will be able to catch up with those of you I have neglected now! The apology also applies to more "online" friends and activities. I have cut back on such activity gradually, as the rest of my life - studies! - takes up too much time, but there are a few things that I'd like to hold on to, but that I have been neglecting too this semester. Mostly it's blogs! I do try to catch up and read blogs, but I have been terrible at leaving comments, and for that I am sorry! I am not active in a lot of Forums or Message Boards either nowadays, but there are two that I really like and want to stay in: Zunshine.com Message Board and AmandaTapping.com. Please know that I will also make an effort to be more of a regular there starting next year!
Okay, that's all for now! I just wanted to make this public before I dash off and will for the most part be out of internet- and computer access. I'll try to make a Goodbye-post before I leave, either tomorrow evening or Saturday morning!
Had quite an "interesting" experience this morning ... I got up at about 5.30, did the usual cuddle with Zorro in front of the TV and started writing in my diary. Zorro settled down and fell asleep, just as he always does. All of a sudden, he jumps of from the couch with a loud "miaooo!" and rushes to the window - and seconds later, my entire apartment starts to shake ... really shake! I was completely unprepared, and didn't understand anything, at first I figured there were some construction work going on but quickly realized that my entire concrete nine-floor building would not shake like that ... It didn't last very long, but it really was an earthquake!! That's like ... impossible!! *shock* I've been in an earthquake??!? That can happen in California - or in the movies - not in my hometown!! But it did ... It's been all over the news today, it was a rather large one, that measured 4.7 on the Richter scale - it's the worst earthquake we've had in Sweden for over 100 years! *yikes* The centre of it wasn't that close to where I live, but not too far away either, about 70-80 kilometres ... Nothing seriously damanged, though the electricity disappeared for a lot of people ... Some wake-up call, huh?!
I went into town around 10 this morning, I had a few errands to run, but they didn't work out at all. I thought I'd be really nervous about meeting the professor, but for some reason I wasn't ... always happy when that happens. I arrived at the Department fairly early, but I did find Johanna, so we chatted for a little while. I met the professor at 11.15, and we had a really good conversation! It totally worked out, and I'm very happy about that. He'll be guiding me on all my courses next semester (the essay now being postponed, two so-called "reading-courses" and one larger essay), so it felt really good to have this talk now. Pretty much everything worked out the way I hoped, I didn't feel 'inferior' at all and I felt that he totally understood where I was going! Wonderful!
Then I went to meet my friend and her little boy! I don't think I've seen them since late september, and wow, he'd grown a lot!! *lol* He'll be one years old soon, and he was such a big boy! :) I also enjoyed catching up with my friend since we hadn't talked for so long! Took me a while to get home, crowded buses and trains that were late, and by the time I got home I was completely exhausted!! I have a million things to do right now, and I don't seem to get the energy to do even one of them ... not good!! Since I'll be leaving at the end of the week, Friday or Saturday, I really need to start working everything out ... but I'm SOOOO tired ...
I haven't heard anything about the Greek lecture, so I guess tomorrow is on ... at least I hope so, because if I do another trip in vain tomorrow morning, I'll probably be ready to kill someone! After the lecture we have a mentor-meeting, but I hope I'm not too exhausted when I get home, because I need to start getting organized now!
I haven't had a great day today unfortunately, even though some things have been pretty okay.
I woke up feeling like a zombie this morning, I was really tired, and I was actually considering skipping lectures ... but since I missed a few last week, and we're going in to the last three lectures before the holidays, I got my act together and went ... Only to find out, after having waited for nearly half an hour at Uni, that the lecture today was cancelled!! Apparently the teacher's son had fallen ill and he had to stay home with him! I know these things can happen, and it's nobody's fault, but my mood dropped like a brick wall!! I was furious and this combined with a few other issues sent my mood below zero! There was nothing to do but take the next train home! Our teacher is usually really good at communicating through emails, and when I got home I found out he had sent an email about the cancelled lecture this morning! At first I was a bit upset, partly due to the fact that I hadn't checked my emails before I left, but also because it doesn't seem like part of a normal morning routine to actually start up the computer and check for Uni-related emails! And then I found out that he had sent the email a good 25 minutes after I had already left, so no matter what, I would have had made that unnecessary trip ... *sigh*
Moving on to a bit more positive news though - which turned out to be today's mail! I usually only get bills and bills and more bills, but today I got some really FUN mail! *yay* I had made scraps of my little sisters and Zorro and printed them onto T-shirts for them for Christmas (feels safe to write about it now, since my Dad and his family are in Florida and will not check out the internet *lol*). I got the T-shirts today and they turned out pretty nice! It's hard to know the sizes, I think these were a bit too big, but hopefully the girls can wear them this summer as well! :) I have added the scraps, and a few more, to my Picasa Album (Cute Sisters!), so feel free to check them out! (And anyone I've forgotten to send the URL to, just let me know and you'll get it!). There are also some new scraps in the Jessica digi.scraps-album at Picasa, if you want to check them out.
The other thing in the mail was a book I had actually forgotten all about! :) My Dad's sister's husband (!) is a professor of History of Religion (though not at the University I'm attending), and when I spoke to my aunt a while back, she mentioned he'd been part of a project regarding Ararat and Armenia, and they had published a book as a result of this project. She said she'd send me a copy of the book, but it had completely slipped my mind ... until today when it arrived in the mail! :) I won't have time to start reading it right away, but I'm definitely hoping to read it during Christmas holidays. I have some other books (or is it just one?) written by someone I know, and that is actually kind of a weird and funny feeling!
Now I'm mostly worrying about tomorrow! We got another mail from the Greek teacher, and aparently another one of his children has fallen ill as well, so we won't have lectures tomorrow. I am, however, meeting with my essay professor, and I'm gonna have to tell him that I won't be able to complete the essay during this semester. I'm not looking forward to that one little bit, even though I know, on a logical level, that shouldn't be such a big deal! After all, it is my decision, my responsibility and I have made the choice to prioritize the Greek courses this semester- but I know I have a tendancy to feel "inferior" in these situations and I try to start defending myself - which I shouldn't! - and the whole thing turns into a great big mess. Guess I shouldn't think too much ahead really, but it's hard not to. Still, it's only a brief meeting, and I'll just have to cope!
After the meeting awaits the fun stuff! :) I'm going to visit a friend and her young boy, he turns one year old in a little while! *cute!* I have only seen them once during this semester (!) since things have been so chaotic, so I'm really looking forward to that, it was nice we managed to find a time to meet before the holidays.
And then all I have left is a MAJOR clean up of the apartment and all the packing and preparations for my trip north ... And probably a lecture on Wednesday ... *phew, I think I'll keep busy!*
I have had to make a difficult decision this weekend, and while I'm not happy with it, I think it's the only decision I could have made under the circumstances. That doesn't make it any easier though ...
I have decided to, for the time being, drop my essay! I really really wanted to finish it this semester, but now I've come to realize, that's just not possible. I know I have, ever since the start of the semester, given the Greek courses priority, for a number of reasons. Partly because it is required that you spend a number of hours on it every single day, you have to be prepared for every day, which means you have to study regularly and a lot. I have also felt, almost from the beginning, that Greek has come rather easy for me. Even though I want to continue with Old Testament and Hebrew, I find Greek a lot easier - and that means I have been able to perform very well ... which of course makes me want to prioritize Greek. I have had a hard time figuring out this essay, and I think at least part of that comes from the fact that I have always had my Greek studies lying on top of me. Even when I have set aside time for work on the essay, I have been occupied with what I am supposed to prepare in Greek ... and that simply doesn't work!
I have made one last effort, to put all my energies into the essay ever since the last exam, but for a number of reasons, it won't work. I won't be able to finish it in time, there's just no way. I know there's nothing more to do, I know I can't pull it off, but I still feel bad about having to postpone it ... Still, I don't see myself having any other choice at the moment!
So now I'm gonna try to reset my brain to go back to Greek and studies of the Galatians! :)
While my life is a chaotic mess at the moment, I have actually had some time for relaxation as well these past few days!! And much needed so, that's for sure!
Friday night I was invited to dinner with Sara and Johanna! We haven't seen each other in ages, Sara and I hardly ever see each other since she's moved on from the Theology Department, and even though I see Johanna occasionally, we're often off to one thing or another and don't have time to talk properly! I really enjoyed myself, and could actually relax a lot! I was a bit worried beforehand, since I'm so stressed out and worried about everything right now, that I wouldn't be able to wind down, but I really could! We had a great time with yummy food and lots of laughter - just the way it's supposed to be! Helen dropped by as well, a little later, and I haven't seen her since we were at Sofiero in May (!) so that was really great too!!
Sara is preparing the desert ... ... while Johanna is laughing! :)
Sara and Johanna doing 'the African Dance'! *lol*
And yesterday I was invited to Lena, to see their new apartment! Since I haven't been feeling the best lately, and mostly complained about everything, it was great to be able to see her outside of Uni, in a more relaxed environment! I also got to meet the sweetest, cutest little cat ... and I guess Zorro will be jealous now, but she was such a little darling! :) When I was getting ready to leave, she turned on the charm full-stop and I could hardly make it out the door! *lol* (Sadly I had forgotten the camera ...)
It feels really wonderful to have been able to relax like this in the middle of everything that is going on right now, but I have to admit I'm finding it difficult trying to get back into the harsh reality now ... I have some rough times ahead of me, and I'm hoping to be able to blog my way through them as well, so you'll know what's going on ... so keep an eye out for updates! :)
Another strange day! I'm making this a short entry, because I really don't feel that great at the moment, but I wanted to at least check it. The good news of today is that we finally got our Greek exam back - and I cannot complain about the results ... I had 71 out of a possible 72!! *Yay!* What did bug me is that the mistake was more or less a typing error, which feels so stupid! I had made an analysis of verb correctly when I did it, and when I typed in the text that I handed in, I wrote it differently! So, so stupid! I know it doesn't matter in the long run, and I'm still really happy, but it would have been totally cool to say that I had top score on both exams, especially when it was so close ...
Other than that, my life is currently a mess - which is why I don't feel good ... I don't want to get into specifics, especially not right now, but at least you'll know why I might not update here every day, or why I'm (for those of you who know me in person) not that pleasant to be around right now ...
I haven't had a good day at all today ... and that makes me rather frustrated, because I cannot afford to have days like that right now.
I didn't feel great this morning, and I even considered skipping the lecture, but since we'd been told we would get the exams today, I gathered my composure and managed to get going. I know I have a hang-up about this stupid exam, I think it has to do with the fact that I did so well on the last one ... and now I kind of feel, and I feel that other feel, that I have to match that, do just as well on this one - which isn't an easy goal to reach! I think I will accept pretty much whatever result I get (unless I've failed!), just so long as I get it and can deal with it. So, I got to Uni, feeling completely dead, and the first thing our teacher says is that he was too tired to grade exams yesterday so we won't get them! At that moment, I just felt like walking out of there and going home! Which of course, I didn't! But I did feel utterly disappointed, and I'm starting to wonder if we are ever going to get the exams back!
We went through the first chapter of Galatians today, and I wasn't prepared of course. He didn't except it, but I did get a few comments from him ... Afterwards I wanted to talk to him, one on one, and explain about how I hope to do in the future, that I have to prioritize my essay but that I'm hoping to attend lecture and work out the exam. We were a bit late, I had hoped to meet Lena, and we were having a mentor meeting, so I was hoping to catch him right away ... yeah right!! Apparently another student beat me to it, and got into a rather lengthy discussion about the New Perspective on Paul or whatnot ... I waited and waited, everybody had left (supposedly gone to the mentormeeting), another group of students wanted to use the room we were in ... Finally the teacher acknowledged me, but he didn't finish the disucssion with the other guy, so I had to say something in front of him, and quickly and it just felt totally messy! I know the teacher basically understands (we've been discussing the fact that I'm studying full-time Greek and doing a Hebrew essay on several occasions), but I had wanted to get a 'real' talk going with him - which was completely impossible! I felt really disappointed after that but went to hunt for Lena - instead I met Johanna, which was a lot of fun!! I'm meeting her and Sara on Friday night, and I'm SOOOO looking forward to it! I don't think I have met Sara since September or something! *gasp* And then I managed to catch up with Lena but only for a few moments, because she was having a lecture at 10.15 - and I'm afraid all I did was basically complain about everything, so I guess I wasn't that much fun to talk to ... *oops* I had hoped to catch the 10.22 train and rushed down to the station, only to see it leave the platform ... thank you very much! Granted, the train leaves every half an hour, but at this point, it felt like forever ...
I haven't had much luck in turning my bad mood around during the afternoon either, so things bascially feel very confusing and frustrating and generally upsetting! ONE good thing happened - I had an early Christmas card from my sisters (they must have posted it before they left for Florida!), with a wonderful photo in it ... I think this is one of my top favourites among all photos - and I'm making it into the Pic-of-the-Day!
I don't quite know how this day turned out - some parts feel good, others feel bad, some feel strange and well, I'm just generally stressed out, tired and very confused! :) But I guess I should start at the beginning!
There had been some debate last week on our schedule for this last course, I didn't have the energy to get involved, but figured we'd get an updated schedule in time ... oh no! I was fairly sure we were having lectures today, and part of me thought it was 8 o'clock-lectures, the other part thought 10 o'clock. I went in early of course, and it turned out we were having lectures at 8 ... though we were only four students there, and a few in the group came in at 10 ... a little miss in the communication! :) I expected to get the exams back, I had been thinking about this all weekend, as I cannot put an exam behind me until I actually get it back and get the results! And to my big disappointment, our teacher had been sick during the weekend and hadn't graded them yet! *SIGH* He said we maybe get the back tomorrow! *fingers crossed* For some reason I'm totally hyper over this exam, and I really just want to know the results and get it over and done with. We continued on Paul and the Galatians today, and I think I was in better shape today than last week, because I think I at least got most of it! :)
After lectures I tried to do essay studies in the library, but I didn't do so well. I had a headache that kept getting worse, and I was going to do the Hebrew translation on the text I've chosen for my essay ... which was NOT easy! I haven't even looked at a Hebrew text since mid-June, and even though I do remember some parts of it, you tend to forget A LOT! That in combination with the headache didn't make my studies very efficient!
A while after 1 o'clock I went to meet the woman responsible for the Mentor Activity (The SI-programme - Supplementary Instruction), with regard to her email. It was very good to meet her face to face, and I got some more information on what's involved ... and now it's official: I will be the Mentor for the Hebrew course next semester! *gulp* I know this is a wonderful opportunity and a fantastic chance to develop ... but I'm still pretty freaked out by it. I know I cannot deal with it all now - I have enough to deal with as it is right now! *rolling eyes* - but it's hard not to keep thinking about it!
After the meeting I went straight home, but I haven't been feeling very well this evening ... I've had some physical symptoms, and I've been thinking a lot, and I generally feel a bit disoriented at the moment ... I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow's lecture, though I think it will sort itself out once I'm there. I have decided that whatever time is left before Christmas Holidays, I have to work on my essay. That means I won't have time to prepare or study Greek the way I'm supposed to. I have every confidence I will pass the exam (since it's not a regular written exam), but we got an email with some attachments from our teacher today, and he was adamant about what we were supposed to prepare for what day, and what he wanted to do each lecture! *gulp* I mean, I'll just have to deal with it when it happens, and he's going to have to accept and respect my decision, but since I'm not feeling that great tonight, I am a bit nervous about how it will play out.
I'm going to call it a night now, when my mood is like this, I find it best to try to get some sleep. Take care - and please keep your fingers crossed I will get the exam back tomorrow (and that I did okay of course! *lol*)! Seeya!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace - Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia Currently watching: The Simpsons Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, Mentor meeting (maybe meeting Lena?), shopping, studies, cleaning
Wow, this has been a very eventful week, and I have tons to blog about now. I haven't been feeling very well all week (for different reasons) which is why I haven't had the energy to blog ... but I guess I'd better give you an update now! This entry will be thematic in structure, I think it's easier to do it that way, than in chronological order ... So here we go! :)
The Exam on Wednesday Yes, Wednesday was the big Greek-day! :) I was in a complete state of panic all day, not sure where that comes from, but I have been feeling terrible just prior to written exams lately. Guess that's not all bad, considering how I did on my last exam though! :) I had planned to get to Uni early and spend the morning studying, but things at home (also studying, but still) ended up taking quite a long time ... and when I got to the Department I met some fellow Greek-students and we ended up having coffee and chatting instead. That's not usually my last-minute-exam-preparation, so that made me even more nervous and hyper! As for the exam, I have stated to almost everyone that I will not say anything until I get it back! I think it will get way to complicated if I try to make some kind of assessment of it now ... I'm hoping we'll get them back on Monday, so you'll get my thoughts on that then! :)
Some Bad News The bad news this week is that I'm missing out on mine and Annika's annual Gothenburg-Liseberg-Christmas tradition! :( We usually spend one day in December there, as we don't meet very often, we exchange Christmas presents and just try to get in the Spirit of Christmas as best we can ... but yesterday I got the stomach flu and can now not stay that far away from a bathroom! :( It really sucks - we've had this tradition for a number of years now, and I really wanted to go ... and also, I sooo don't have time to get sick! :( I try to "cure" myself as best I can, but I'm still feeling pretty rotten! :(
Family Related - Some Semi-Bad News I got some not-so-great news from my Dad the other day. My two little sisters, 'M' and 'I' had been playing together, 'M' is a quite lively four-year-old and she drags 'I' along in wild games. They had been jumping from 'M's bed, and 'I' had landed badly ... the spent an entire day in the Emergency and they thought she might have a broken ankle!! Considering the fact they leave for a 2-week long trip to Florida in two days (!) the timing was the worse possible!! After lots of X-rays and examinations and consultations, it turns out it was "only" a crack in one of the bones of the foot! She's not suppose to support her leg at all though (not easy explaning that to a 2-year-old though!), and there were talks of having to cancel their trip!! They will be going now though, they got clearance from the doctors, but I imagine the trip will be a bit rough considering someone will have to carry her pretty much around the clock ... I talked to my Dad again yesterday, and she seems to be doing a little better - so I'm hoping they can still enjoy their trip!!
What About Studies?! Okay, here's an update on studies ... On Thursday morning, I accompanied Lena on an essay seminar. I really had nothing to do with it, as it was a seminar for Systematic Theology and History of Christianity (sorry, these are my translations, so the subjects might have another 'official' English translation), but Lena had invited me, and I really wanted to see how a seminar like this worked, as this is what I'll be doing with my own essay in January. And it was good to have been there! I felt the seminar wasn't great at all ... actually ... it was completely non-structured, and confusing and strange, but that gave me an idea of what I don't want to experience (and from what I can tell, our seminar will be more structured)! It also gave me great ideas on how to perform both as an opponent on another essay and as a respondent on my own! I have gotten tips from other before, but it is something completely different to actually see it for yourself! So even though I didn't like the seminar as such, it was really good to have been there. I the afternoon we had the introduction to our next Greek-course, on The Galatians. I was completely exhausted so even though this was more theological than linguistic, I didn't get much of it ... The general structure of the course is yet to be determined, as this was a general introduction, but I have made up my mind on how to study these two weeks before Christmas holidays, and I hope I can make it work. The idea is to show up on Greek lectures (we have added lectures as well, so I think there are 8 or 9 left before the holidays), but not do anything else. I will not prepare text or read the literature, and the reason for this is two-fold. Partly, it's because of the examination on this course. We will not have a regular written exam, but instead to an interpretation-report on part of the Galatians. This is something we do at home, and it will include both a language-oriented part (we have to do a translation of the text and motivate it) and a theological part, where we use various commentaries and literature - and fact of the matter is, this is something I can do without having to prepare for every single lecture! The other reason is that I have to write the major part of my essay in less than two weeks!!!! I have a pretty good idea of what needs to be done, but there's also the part of actually doing it! I have a meeting with the professor on December 16, and I have to have gotten a lot done until then, if there's going to be a point to the meeting at all - and I know I won't be able to get much done during the holidays (and right after that, we have to be finished)! So, compromising all these thoughts: The idea is to attend Greek lectures for 2 hours a day, and the other 22 hours I will work on my essay (possibly managing a few hours sleep every night too??)!
The Spirit of Christmas A little about the season to come! Because to tell the truth, my 'spirit of Christmas' this year is a big, fat Zero! I generally don't like Christmas one little bit, and for various reasons it's even more complicated this year, but I can usually stand the 'preparation' for Christmas, the decorations, the Christmas music, shopping for gifts and all that, but this year I'm completely anti everything!! I think it has to do with the fact that I'm so genuinely exhausted that I can only barely try to keep up with what I have to do ... just the mere thought of spending several hours decorating and fixing here is just too much right now! So I'm hereby declaring my apartment Christmas-free this year! Granted, I can go so far as to listen to Christmas music - and naturally I'll be getting Christmas gifts for those near and dear to me ... but that's it! It might sound harsh, but to tell the truth, I have never been that big of the Spirit of Christmas - and as for getting in the spirit here and now, what's the point? I have to study 24/7 up until the lectures ends, and then I'll be gone and not home until all the holidays are over ... so really, what is the point?
Last But Not Least - Some GOOD News! Here's me hoping you have managed to get this far, because I have been saving the best till last! :) I had an email yesterday, which to me meant more than a lot that have happened to me lately - and I don't think I have grasped it completely even now! The email came from a woman conducting postgraduate studies at our Department (New Testament Exegesis), I know who she is because she has been involved in the Mentor-activity this semester, but I have been fairly sure she doesn't know me. Well, this email said she's responsible for the Mentor activity on the Department, she's now looking for a Mentor for the Hebrew course next semester, and when she had discussed this my name had "come up", so she basically asked if I wanted to do it!!!!!!!! *GASP!* I know I have been thinking about it - we've had the greatest mentor in Greek-studies this semester, which inspired me as well, but I have been going back and forth with it ... can I handle it, it's a great thing to do, but will I cope, how much time and energy will it take etc. But being asked to do it?!?!!? That is SO cool, and I'm still in awe!! I have no idea how she got my name, because I've basically only discussed it with my closest friends, but still .... There's no way I can turn it down, obviously, and I think it will be merit to take with me, and somehow I just have to make this work!! Well, I won't go on and on about it - this entry has been long enough already, but for those of you reading Swedish, I will make an entry of this in my ~ Cogito, ergo sum! ~ blog later on, so keep an eye out there - it will be more detailed, as it is easier to talk about specifics in Sweden!
Wow, this was some entry to get through! :) But at least I'm up-to-date again now, so hopefully I can blog more regularly after this! :) I'm feeling not only stomach-flu-sick but also completely exhausted, this semester has well and truly caught up with me now, but I know I won't be able to wind down until about January 20, so I guess I'll have to hang in there somehow! :)
I hope you are all doing well and are enjoying your weekend!
I have had a pretty good day so far, but I'm still feeling totally confused about the upcoming exam - which is starting to get on my nerves!
I went to Uni early this morning, a few things not-so-great, but then I met Lena, which was wonderful!! We haven't seen each other in ages, so it was great catching up!! Lectures at 10, our teacher said he'd email us during the weekend, what texts to prepare - we hadn't heard from him, and it turned out we'd use this last lecture for questions and repetition, which felt really good! First off, we found out the exam will not cover the entire Gospel of Mark, "only" the first 10 chapters, which are the chapters we have dealt with during lectures. I think it's good, the exam won't cover things we haven't discussed, of course, but I still can't help but feel a little disappointed, as it was said from the beginning we would in fact cover an entire Gospel (that's also the reason it's the Gospel of Mark, that's the shortest one, so despite the fact that the Greek language isn't the best, they chose it because we were supposed to be able to get through all of it) ... But my thoughts on that are quite extensive and this blog is not the right place for them.
My personal confusion got started almost right away though! From what I can understand the exam to be like, I might have difficulties getting a good result on it! I seriously doubt I would fail it, because I have studied so much, but as I have probably said before, just barely getting a passing grade is not really my goal ... The idea of the exam, as far as I can tell, is that we get a portion of text from the Gospel of Mark, say 5-6 verses, and we are to translate them, using a dictionary as help. After that, there are some grammatical questions to answer as well. The questions won't be too bad, I think, I am interested in languages, their structure and how they function, so I should do okay on that. But I'm worried about the text! Even though we're only having 10 (out of 16) chapters, it's still a great deal of text to cover ... it's not something you simply learn by heart beforehand! But when I sat through the lecture, it felt really okay ... we repeated some grammatical constructions, and went through some questions, and I felt I knew the stuff then. There was nothing where I felt out-of-the-loop or anything like that. So judging from the lecture, I do know a lot of the stuff ...
After lectures we had a mentor meeting ... and that felt okay too! We were given a text to translate in pairs, and I think that worked out really well! It was a very well known text (Mark 8:27-33), but I still felt I could translate it in a good way, and there were only a few words I had to look up.
It felt great things worked out so nicely today, but I still feel really confused and insecure about the exam. It's not just a bad feeling though, because I felt the same way before the last exam, and that worked out really well! I'll try not to go on and on about all this, fact of the matter is, I'm gonna study around the clock like a maniac until the exam, and then all I can do is hope for the best. Just one thing is very annoying, the exam takes place between 3 and 8 in the afternoon!!! What idiot thought up that time?!!? *deep sigh* I really hate afternoon exams, so that's kind of frustrating! I guess the only good thing about it is that I can get a few more hours of studying in ...
Now I'm going back to Mark again! Take care!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace Currently watching: Stargate SG-1 season 7 (Lost City) Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES!!!!
The title more or less is the story of my life right now! I've gone into a full-study-mode now, for the exam on Wednesday ... and I honestly don't know how I feel about it! The whole thing is a massive mess, and I usually don't feel quite so confused regarding exams - and I don't like that feeling one little bit!! It's one thing to not feel prepared, I can handle that, but not knowing anything is a terrible feeling! I have really made an effort on this course, and I can honestly say I have never studied so much for a course before as I have for this one! Still, if I go by the way I have understood the teacher, I feel like I might just barely pass this exam ... On the other hand, I know I have made an effort, and I know stuff, when he asks questions during lectures, I can usually answer them, so I think I have gained a lot of knowledge from studying so much ... and that to me says I shouldn't have any problems passing the exam .... ergo: confusion!!
Another frustrating things is time right now! I know exactly how I want to study for this exam, I know what I want to do and how ... the problem is, I don't have the time for it. I don't think I'd make it even if I sat 25 (!) hours a day until the exam starts, and that means I have to put my energy into prioritizing, trying to figure out what is more important than something else. And I'd rather put all my energy to actually studies!!
Sorry about the complaining rambling! My mood isn't all that bad - even though I still feel my cold and am in pain most of the time - I do enjoy the subjects I'm taking, and for that I am very grateful ... but I can't help this confusion and frustration about the exam. I know there's nothing I can do about it, except give it my all and hope for the best - but it's hard just to stop thinking about it entirely as well.
Finishing with something a little happier. I took a break tonight and did a few digi.scraps - enjoy!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Graece Currently watching: Sanctuary Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Meeting Lena, Greek lecture, mentor meeting, STUDIES!
While this might sound silly to you, this entry will be a tribute to my Mother's car, she had to take it to the car dump yesterday to have it destroyed! :( She and I both know that it's a "thing", but this car has had a special meaning to us both, and she's had it for 14 years, so it's quite a big thing to get rid of it! I spend a lot of my "learning-to-drive" years in this car (and boy could we tell some stories *lol*), and after that we've had lots of laughs in here on various trips! However, a car does have a limited lifetime (don't we all!), and for the last year or so, it hasn't been completely trustworthy. Added to that, the question of economics - after all, you can't put too much money on a car that's so old - I think my Mum made the right decision! But it's still tough, I won't deny it!
I don't think I've quite grasped it yet, as I live so far away, but I guess I will be made painfully aware when I come up for Christmas holidays!
Anyway, this is a tribute to "EKU:n" (which is the unofficial name of the car *smile*), and to all the GREAT times it's given us! You will be missed!
Well, it seems people are reading this blog - we reached 14,000 visitors today! Thank You! Still missing comments from most of you, but I guess I don't keep this blog for getting comments, right?! :)
I've had a day of mixed feelings today ... this afternoon most of it turned bad, so I'm not in a great mood right now, that's for sure! I hadn't planned on making this entry at all, but when I realized we hit 14,000 I just had to write something! :)
I was at lectures today, despite feeling terrible and running a fever. Not sure if it gave me anything, but I feel I should be there for these last lectures before the exam, sick or not. At least we got a few laughs, and that's not bad, right?
I should have gotten a lot of studying done today, but unfortunately I've been feeling my cold as well as a pretty bad headache, so I haven't been in study-mode. I just hope I'll start feeling better soon, because I NEED to start studying for the exam now!! I can deal with the fever with pills, so that's no major concern, but I'm still in a lot of pain, no matter what I do, and that makes it hard to focus and concentrate.
Won't go into a complaining-marathon, but instead try to get some sleep and hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace Currently watching: 2½ Men Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, studies
Wow, it's been a strange few days now! After having gotten back from my mini-trip I caught a cold, and while I haven't been completely under the weather, it's been bad enough. I have managed to study, but in slow-motion to say the least ... Lucky for me, our teacher has been in the United States, so we haven't had any lectures so far this week. I have felt better today, and I managed to finish translating the entire Gospel of Mark! *YAY!* This means I will probably be able to re-type and repeat the entire gospel, or at least most of it, before the exam next Wednesday! *fingers crossed* Still, not much is being done on the essay, and I feel really, really bad about it! I know I'm gonna have to get going with that as well, and soon (especially since the horrible holidays are coming up!), but I simply can't squeeze it in before the exam ....
Now, it feels very strange to try to be back-on-track again, starting tomorrow! Just the mere fact of getting up before 4 a.m. feels weird, I haven't had to do that for a number of days now, and I also have to be able to deal with lectures, translating and whatnot ... and even though I know I have dealt with that in a very good way so far in this course, naturally I feel insecure about it having been away from it all for so long! I also feel insecure about the whole course now, what the exam will be about, will we have time to go through all the verses ans chapters (no!!), will he include stuff we haven't gone through on lectures in the exam ... let's just say, it all feels like a great big mess!
I'm still not completely recovered from my cold either, and I'm not longing for getting started at Uni again, even though it's only 2 days left until the weekend, I feel very tired and I am in some pain ... I don't have much choice, I know that, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it!
Anyway, I guess I'll have to start preparing a little for tomorrow now, and then get an early night, so I have the energy to get up early tomorrow! *yawning already*
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace Currently watching: Sanctuary, webisode 3 Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, mentor meeting, studies!
I'm back from my little mini-trip now, which almost feels unreal!! Since it was so intense, and so short, it's hard to believe it actually happened now that I'm back in my normal routines again! I spent most of Friday travelling, I left here at about 8.30 and arrived about 5 p.m. It was full steam ahead with my little sisters, even though the young one is a little shy - and they had grown a lot since this summer! :) I managed a short visit with my Mum on Friday night, and we also went over some practical details with my Dad, since they'll be gone until December 23 and I'll arrive at their house before they do! :)
Saturday was play-time most of the morning *lol*, and I left about 1 o'clock. The trip was okay, it was rather slow in the beginning, but after about 1½-2 hours it started getting better. I arrived at 7.30 - and Zorro was SO happy to see me!! I had really missed him a lot, even though it was GREAT to be able to let him stay home, instead of dragging him off to someone, as I have to get him on buses and trains and whatnot! We had a lovely evening yesterday, just relaxing, and Zorro would be on top of me almost the entire time ... he would hardly allow me to use the bathroom! :)
Today it was back to studies again ... so I've spent most of today studying Greek! My studies are a massive great confusion at the moment, and I won't bore you with details, so I haven't gotten a clue as to what I should do when ... I'm hoping the more I do, the more I'll learn what else I need to do ... if that made any kind of sense! :)
Moving on to pictures! First, some pictures from a walk I made a few days ago:
And now, a few pictures of my adorable little sisters! It was a hard time getting some good photos since I was there for such a short time, but at least I got some! I especially like the last pictures of "I" (the youngest), I think she looks so beautiful!
Blog Dedication Today's Blog Dedication goes to Lena who kindly came to check in on Zorro! It meant a lot to him and me, so I am very grateful for that! Thanks!!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Currently watching: Sanctuary Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Studies ... what else?
That is pretty much my life at the moment! Right now I'm super-stressed to get everything ready for my mini-trip tomorrow, so this will just be a short Good-bye entry ... and hopefully I'll be back on Saturday evening or Sunday with a longer entry.
At the moment, most of my life feels like chaos. I know it's not the end of the world, but I think I am trying as much as I possibly can, and I just can't seem to do enough ... This is a really long story and I won't go into it now, as I have tons of stuff to do before calling it a night - and of course I have an early morning tomorrow as well.
I'm looking forward to meeting my families again, of course, even if it's for a short visit, but I would have liked it even more, had I not be quite so stressed out! I have three books with me to read on the bus-ride tomorrow (I have to get through one of them, from the other two I need references for my essay), but I still miss out on two whole days of studying ... and the timing isn't perfect! But I guess you can't have everything, right?!
Anyway, I'm off to packing, translating Mark, last-minute cleaning, and cuddling with Zorro now! Take care!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Lots and lots! :) Currently watching: 2½ Men Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Trip to my families! :)
I have had a strange few days now, not quite sure what to say about them ... they've just been ... weird ... I have felt a little better this afternoon, and at least have gotten some studying done, so I hope I'm gonna be back on track again now! I know I get like this at times - but it's annoying since I have so much going on right now that I need to finish and work on and work out. Still, no use dwelling on the past! I am, like I said, feeling better now, so hopefully things will move on more smoothly from now on!
I really don't have that much to write about, been studying a lot of Greek lately, because we're getting some time off from Greek lectures when our teacher will go to America (lucky guy, huh?!), and I want to focus on my essay during those lecture free days ... which is why I want to stay ahead with the Greek preparations now! Not doing all to bad though, apparently we're going to start chapter nine tomorrow and I just finished chapter eleven tonight, (and both nine and ten are fairly long), so I think I'm doing okay with that. We have lectures tomorrow and Thursday, and then nothing until next Thursday! *GASP!* Still, the time won't be that efficient for me ... On Friday morning, I'll go up to visit my families - the super-shortest little visit. Okay, long backstory here *lol*! I have a hard time transporting myself up north for the Christmas holidays, so usually my Dad and I have met about half way (in Gothenburg) in December, he's driven there and I've taken bus/train, then we've swapped, so I've taken the car home, and then I have a car for when I'm going for the holidays will all my packing and Zorro. This year that won't work, because my Dad and his family will go on a major trip, a two-week trip to Florida as an early celebration of his birthday (which is in January). Therefore I'm gonna go up on Friday by bus, and take the car back with me on Saturday ... intense few days, but at least I get to see them a short while before their trip (they leave in mid-December and will be back for Christmas). That does however mean less intense studies! :) On Thursday I'll have to get everything ready, minor packing, cleaning, preparing Zorro (Lena will come and check in on him once while I'm away) etc. - and hopefully some studying. And I'll be gone Friday and Saturday ... But I do hope I'll get a lot of work done on my essay as I at least have four whole days - Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. And if I can get enough ahead on Greek like ... tomorrow ... I might not have to prepare anything for Thursday and Friday next week either, meaning I can get that time for my essay as well ...
Sorry about the rambling ... I have translated about 90 Bible verses today, so my brain feels overcooked! Anyway, I hope I'll be back to everyday blogging soon ... and hopefully some adorable pictures of my little sisters on Sunday! :)
Blog Dedication: Two Blog Dedications today: * To Lena, for passing her Systematic Theology exam once and for all! YAY YOU! :) * To Storsmulan, for receiving great news for great accomplishments! YAY YOU TOO! :)
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace *lol* Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 3 Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lectures, library studies, more studies
As usual, the weekend hasn't been all that great! I guess everybody will want to kill me for saying that, but I opt for the cancellation of weekends! *lol* Seriously though, I can never get a weekend to work out! I'm constantly in a bad mood, I never get things done, and then I get upset for not getting things done, but when I try to get things done, they end up not getting done anyway!! And yes, there's a tad bit for frustration in there ... :)
I won't make this into a long entry, because I'll just end up babbling incoherently about how terrible I feel right now, and seriously, you folks have better things to do than reading about my sucky weekend!
I do feel divided about all this though! Part of me is happy the weekend is over, because I am usually in a better mood during the weeks ... but a part of me is stressing like a maniac because I haven't gotten as much done as I should have during the weekend and I know I don't have all the time in the world during the week. Life is hard, right?!
It's getting late already, but I'm hoping - *fingers crossed* - I'll get about 1-1½ hours of studies done tonight ... before going to bed (though I'm still yawning like crazy already!)!
Pic of the Day - yeah, it returns! :)
I spoke to both my sisters on the phone yesterday, so what better pic-of-the-day than this wonderful "Yummy!"-scrap! :)
Blog Dedication To Lena - who's doing an oral exam tomorrow!! Thinking of you, I'm sure you'll turn the charm on and things will work out! ;) *hugs*
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France (and a lot of other stuff as well) Currently watching: "Parlamentet" (Swedish comedy) Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Library studies, Greek lecture, maybe meeting Lena, more studies
I had a been of a down-turn yesterday ... I guess it wasn't a big thing really, but there was a kind of "incident", and everything about it just turn totally wrong. I know I shouldn't let something like that get to me, and I don't think I usually do, but the circumstances there and then made me feel pretty horrible about most things!
I hardly slept at all last night, but I did managed to get to lectures this morning, and that felt good. My mood was more than foul however, and I mostly felt like crawling up in a corner and make myself invisible. The group functions really well though - and it's a small group - so I could tell everyone I was in a terrible mood and wouldn't be much company ... Lectures worked out - I told the teacher I was hardly even present and my mind didn't work at all, so I didn't have to translate anything. It was nice to "get out of it", but fact of the matter is, I wasn't as relieved as I thought I would be. And I'm very happy about that, because it tells me that I really have managed to de-dramatize the whole situation in a very real way! I just hope I can keep it that way!
Most of today I have spent writing in my diary! Partly about this "incident", but also about a lot of other stuff that has been piling up, that I haven't had time to deal with properly - and that helps me a lot! I feel like I've cleared my mind in a very real way now, and I have put a lot of things behind me (including yesterday's incident), and I'm ready to get back into things again!
I'm hoping this will help me to not waste another weekend, because I really can't afford that the way things are now! I have to make both Greek studies and my essay work, and for that, I need to raise my efficiency levels pretty drastically - and what better way to do that than get a full two-days of studying in?! :)
Short summary tonight, but it's really late, I'm really tired and I have to at least try to get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow!
I have updated my other two blogs tonight (only in Swedish, sorry for those of you that I'm excluding) - and also worked out new layouts for them (found a totally cool new website that makes it really easy!)! I love the new layouts myself (feel free to tell me what you think!), and I was thinking about changing the layout on this blog, which after all is my "main" blog ... but I did decide against it. I have kept the layout of this blog intact almost since I started it, which is over 2 years ago - I rather like it (even if it is a bit plain) and it seems to be working! I'd love to hear your opinions though - both on this blog and the others if you like - what kinds of layouts do you like? Dislike? What is appealing to you? Feel free to leave a comment! :)
Good night everybody - I hope you have enjoyed your Friday night!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: Numb3rs Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES
I've had a pretty strange day today! I was supposed to have Greek lectures and a mentor meeting, but when I got up this morning, I decided to skip lectures! While things are going great with Greek studies, the essay is starting to be a REAL problem, time flies and I have no clue whatsoever on how I'm gonna make it work. I'm meeting with my professor tomorrow afternoon, and I thought that if I could stay home today and prepare Greek like an IDIOT, I'd be so much ahead I could take time to work on the essay from tomorrow after the meeting and at least all the way through Saturday ...
I guess the intention was good ... But I'm starting to feel I'm going into a phase where I cannot make the right decisions any more ... because clearly staying home was maybe not-so-great! *sigh*
It's not like I haven't done anything, I have translated about 65 Bible verses - and written down the Greek text to about 20 more - which is good, but not what I had expected ... I had actually hoped to have done almost twice that amount! *oops*! Since I wasn't at lectures today, I have no idea how efficient things were today (that tend to vary a lot!), so I have no idea if I should have done waaaay much more, or if this is okay! I know I am ahead (unless they went through like 80-85 verses today *lol*) but the question is how much ahead I am, because that tells me how much time I will be able to spend on my essay. I will find out tomorrow morning, so I guess I shouldn't stress too much about it ... but since it feels like everything is hanging in the balance, it's hard to to start thinking a bit too much!
Since it's the dark time of the year, I'm also constantly tired - I guess everybody else is too, but I really do need to be more efficiant than I am right now, if I'm going to make this work. And I kind of have to make it work. Greek studies is going so well right now, and I don't want to start slacking there, and take the risk things going bad there. But keeping it they way I want to certainly requires a lot of time and energy. And I can't give up on the essay either. I need the the essay on several levels, not only do I need it for my degree (well, sort of, anyway!), I also think it would be really good for me personally if I could finish it! I have never done this before, and it is a whole new way of "studying", a way I will be doing A LOT more of in the future (this essay is 25% of fullt-time studies over one semester, I will also be doing one of 50% (next semester) and one of 100% (next fall)!), so I really need to get the hang of it and make it work! The only problem is I seem to have neither the time nor the energy to do it! *sigh*
I know a lot of things in my life are better now than I had ever dared hope, and I do think I'm trying to be grateful for them, and not get stuck in a manner where I'm only complaining all the time - but I can't help getting worried ... the weeks fly by sooooo quickly, and Christmas and the beginning of January will be extremely difficult for me to work out ... so in order to feel really good about myself, I should have about 95-98% of the entire Greek course and the entire essay finished by December 15th ... terrific! *not*
Okay, enough complaining now! I'm hoping to at least copy (if not translate) a few more verses before heading to bed - and then I'll have to start preparing for Greek tomorrow morning and then make a U-turn to try to get to my essay in Hebrew ...
Pardon the title, but that's just the way I feel right now! This ties in with the last entry here, about my weekends not being so great ... and boy, is that true! Today I've had an active day, a bit too much stress - and I have a lot to do before I can go to bed tonight (try a lot of cleaning and translating 43 verses from the Gospel of Mark *gulp*), but I feel waaaaay much better than I did during the weekend! So why can't stupid-stupid me just realize that I feel better when I actually DO things!!! Sure, it's nice to relax and watch TV and spend time on the computer and reading books, I'm the first person to admit it - but there is another side to it as well!! First and foremost: I do have a lot going on in my life right now, meaning a lot of deadlines, and if I don't work my ass off, I'm not gonna make it! Period! That's one part of it, and the second part is that I actually like what I'm doing now!! I enjoy my studies, I'm doing really well, not only my exam results but the entire University situation is better now than I had even dared to hope for... and also ... this is what I want to do with the rest of my life! Okay, perhaps not study for written exams - but I want to "study" (in a somewhat loose sense of the word) for the rest of my working career, learn things, teach, do research, parttake in projects - and all of that is actually similar to what I'm going through right now (except I'm hoping the time-pressure might not be quite as tough all the time!)!!
I know I usually mess up my weekends, and it's a bit early to say that I'll do better next weekend *lol* but I'll certainly try! Today has been an intense day, but it has so far worked out really really well, and once again I have handled things in a good way that I probably wouldn't have handled at all earlier ... I really hope I can keep this in mind during the weekends as well, because it's really getting obvious that I feel sooooo much better when I'm active and doing things!
And in saying that, I should now do a sweep in my kitchen and bathroom, take out the vacuum and start translating Mark chapter five (though I'm not sure I'm up for doing all of it at once! *lol*)
I'm definitely seeing the same tendencies now as I did last semester when it comes to comparing the week and the weekend. When things in my life work out fairly well - which they did most of last semester, and have done these past few weeks - I am in a good mood during the weeks, I can stay alert, I get things done ... and on the weekends it's just the opposite! I sleep way to much, and I get almost apathetic, I don't have the energy to do anything ... and that feels terrible! I know the basic concept is that you are supposed to catch up on sleep and relax during the weekends, but that doesn't really work out for me. First and foremost, I never have the energy to study effectively for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday, which means I have to study during weekends. Also not helping the fact that I'm studying more than full time (the Greek-course is full time, and on top of that I have my essay) - which also means I have to study during the weekend. And apparently I'm not ... at least not as much as I should. Which makes me be in a bad mood!
This Greek-course is not quite what I had expected, and it kind of has a new concept as to how it's been before, meaning it's actually more intense than the last course - instead of the opposite. We go through about 35-45 Bible verses every single day - and as I have discussed in previous entries, I have to at least have done the analysis if I'm going to cope. And I do ... I mean, preparation of one Greek lecture takes me about 5 hours, and that's fine ... I can do that on a daily basis. Just one problem: My essay!! It has been sooooo difficult to get it going, and now I have at least gotten started (I think), even though I am rather confused. I kind of messed up the seminar, since I had a migraine, and I really feel I have to start getting the whole essay thing back on track again! I also have to have a meeting with the professor this coming week (hopefully LATE this coming week), and by then (or a couple of days before) I need to email him what I have gotten so far ... which isn't much ... which means I have to find the time to add more ... It's a mess!!
Mentally and emotionally I am doing really well!! I am still amazed at how well this week has been, and how content I am with the way things are on a more psychological level! But the stress factor, in getting everything done in time and being prepared enough, is really starting to get to me - and I think this gets more evident during weekends (which might also explain my bad weekend-mood). During the week I am so busy just doing things, getting to lectures, keeping up with Greek preparations, meeting friends, do the shopping etc. that I don't really have time to see the big picture - which I do on weekends ... and I quickly realize I'm in trouble!
Okay, enough complaining - sorry about that! While I am nervous about what the future will hold, and how I will cope with everything, I am 100%, and more, motivated to make it work, and make it work in a good way! And even thoug motivation isn't everything, I know it goes a long way!
I hope you all had a lovely weekend!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1 Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Greek Lectures, Library studies, cleaning
Saturday night, and I guess it's time to summarize this week - which I guess I have already done in the title! *lol* I stick with that statement: It's been good but intense!
The most important things this week has of course been the Greek exam - I still quite can't understand it!! I knew Greek came fairly easy to me (ironically, I find Greek a lot easier than Hebrew, but it's Hebrew I'm going to continue with *lol*), but I had missed so much and didn't feel well at all the last 3-4 weeks before the exam ... so being able to get the result I actually did feels fantastic!!
I'm also very happy - and a little bit proud - that I have managed to get to all lectures this week, and that I have coped with them the way I have! I still don't know why, all of a sudden, the translation-thing seems to work so much better now, but I'm certainly not complaining! :) I seem to establish myself, my person, ME, in this group, in a way I never have before - and I think that I have actually been establishing myself and getting a better self esteem all the way through 2008 ... and yet, it seems to be even more evident now! And fact of the matter is - I REALLY enjoy it! :)
Yesterday was quite an intense day ... we didn't have lectures until 12 (stupid!!), but I still went into Uni to study at the library at 9. On the way there I met another Greek student, so we ended up studying together, even though she was studying Greek and I was working on my essay. Around 10 we had a sort of "inofficial mentormeeting", the meeting on Thursday was cancelled, so we were having an informal one - which basically meant having coffee in the Student Union Recreation room! *lol* Very nice! I got in about 45 minutes of studying after that as well, but had a bit of a headache that didn't want to go away!
Lectures at 12, I did feel a bit more anxious than usual at the beginning, but once the whole thing was on the way, it more or less disappeared (not completely but to a great extent). We have been few students there this week, the average has been 5-6 (we are 11 in the group), which means everyone gets to translate quite a lot ... and since it has been going so well for me, I am actually happy about it, because now, the more I say and do, the more "de-dramatized" the whole concept will be! I also feel, like I said before, that I have 100% established myself in the group, I am fully accepted, I do not feel at all alienated, and I can - in a way that I never even thought possible! - take the fact that people are making comments or jokes regarding me ... I know they are all nice and friendly and that is the way people interact with each other, while I only a few years ago would have been devastated and felt like I was the joke of the entire Department!
After lectures I did a little shopping before I went home, where I actually managed to completely get rid of my headache! *YAY!* I took the afternoon off, making tacos and just relaxing - it was wonderful!! I slept in today to, I almost slept to 10 o'clock!! *GASP* (I usually feel like I sleep in when I get up at 7.30!) - guess I really could do with the rest! The morning was really really slow, and I nothing got done, but this afternoon I have cleared the kitchen, done some internet-work, emailed my essay-professor and translated all of Mark 4 ... not so bad, right?! :) But no more studying tonight, now I'm gonna wind down and get to bed, and hopefully get an early start tomorrow!
I hope you are all enjoying your weekend!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: Family Guy Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Work on my essay, grocery shopping, Greek studies
While I don't want to jump the gun here, things seem to have taken a turn-around in my Greek-course now! It has really been up-and-down, but going on about a week and a half now, I feel really GREAT about it!! The exam results helps, of course - *LOL* - but there's so much more than that! I somehow feel a lot more at ease now, than I did some 3-4 weeks ago, and I just LOVE it!! I'm so much more relaxed, and even though I have to say the social interaction has worked surprisingly well the entire semester, it has been even better (if that's even possible!) the last week!! Amazing!!
I'm reading like four or five sentences every lecture, and while I'm not at ease doing it, it's really working out, and at times I don't even feel anxious about it (just nervous, but there really is a difference to it!)! The fact that this feels so real just now, has to do with an incident at the lecture today ... And I guess now has come the time to explain something that I haven't felt comfortable talking about here.
Some time back (can't really remember, but I'd say the beginning of October or something like that), and I real set-back in Greek ... an incident happened that made me more or less loose it, and - as always - it takes time to recover from something like that, especially in such an intense course. What happened was this: I wasn't fully prepared, but I wasn't too concerned about it, because I knew I could ask to skip the whole read-translate thing, it wasn't the first time I would be doing it, and I knew other students had done so as well on occasion. Once I got there, and it was my turn, I did as planned - I said I wasn't prepared, and could I please be excused. The teacher looked at the sentence and said that I could probably do it anyway! There are students who can, on a whim, get through a sentence they haven't prepared before - let's just say I'm not one of them. I get really stressed out when I'm 'in the spotlight', and I can't think fast enough then, I mix everything up, and my anxiety levels keep rising. I tried to get out of it, but the teacher was kind of pushy (but of course, he doesn't know about my problems, so I certainly don't blame him) ... and he kind of "forced me" - in my eyes - to get through the sentence and analysis on the spot. And I kind of broke down after that ...
Moving on ... I had prepared the text for today, I had done the analysis, but I still find the syntactic part of it difficult - even though I know and have analysed the words, I still can't work out a translated Swedish sentence. Right toward the end of the lecture, I was asked to read such a sentence - I had the analysis but couldn't make heads or tails of the sentence. Once again, I "wasn't allowed" to pass it on to the next student, and I made at least half of it, spontaneously in front of the class. While it didn't feel great in any way, and I had anxiety throughout, it didn't affect me nearly as bad as it did only a month ago!! I'm not going to say it just simply worked out - because it didn't, and there are a lot of little things that I don't feel very comfortable with, but just the fact that I did it and could walk out of there with a smile on my face is quite extraordinary! I can't really tell what has promted this turn-around, when the turn-arounds go this way, I'm not complaining! :)
I haven't been super-efficient today, as I am usually very tired these days, but at least I have prepared all 35 verses for tomorrows lecture and that feels good. What I will most certainly bring from today is that I need to at least prepare the analysis. Apparently, I'm not going to get off the hook on this Mark-course, with the translations, and I have noticed that most of the students (all of them??) tend to go through with it even though they are unprepared. And after today, I think I can as well, as long as I at least have the analysis to fall back on. I don't think I could have coped at all, if I hadn't had the analysis and the actual meaning of the words - but as long as I have that, I might just make it work! :)
Well, I'm really tired now, and while we don't have lectures until 12 tomorrow (WEIRD!), I plan to spend the morning in the library, working on my essay - so I still need to get some sleep ...
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: The Simpsons Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Library, mentor meeting (?), lectures - celebrating my exam by taking the afternoon off!
Yup, I have some truly amazing news to share ... We got our Greek exams back today. Our teacher handed them out, when he brought me mine, he didn't give me a chance to look at it, he just stared at me and stated loudly: "You're nuts!" I practically had a heart attack - and I wonder what the other students thought?! - and figured I had misunderstood the whole thing and had scored a big fat 0 on my exam!! Until I turned it over, and saw I had scored 48 out of 48 possible!!! *GASP*!! That was well and truly totally unexpected!! I was more or less sure I had passed, and I had some hope I would get VG (the high grade), but definitely nothing like this!! It's actually a first for me too, I have never had top score on an exam before ... *grinning like an idiot* I am sometimes being "accused" (in a loose sense of the word!!) of being a language-nerd (hrm - anybody in particular I'm thinking of here, maybe??), and I think I have got the ultimate proof now, so that's probably all true. I took - unofficially - the Hebrew language-exam in March, and had 51 out of 52 possible ... now I'm taking the Greek language-exam and score 48 out of 48 ... There are still some areas and issues that surrounds the exam that I'm not 100% thrilled about, but it's all on an emotional level, and actually hardly worth even noticing! :)
I actually felt like I was in 7th heaven, and had a very hard time coming down to Earth and start analyzing the Gospel of Mark! I really didn't have a choice though ...:) Once again, I practised my "translating-in-front-of-everybody" thing, that I still have difficulties with! I do it, most of the time, but it's not something that comes easy to me. Yesterday and today has probably been the best days so far, but it's still not something I can do without thinking about it. And I kinda bailed on one sentence today ... *feeling a little guilty* I had prepared it, but I couldn't get it to make any kind of sense whatsoever, and I couldn't really cope with that ... Still, I think I translated maybe four verses in total - and that's not all bad, right?!
I went straight home after Uni, but I think the excitement surrounding the exam was too much for me, because I quickly developed a pretty bad headache that I had a hard time getting rid of ... It's only just disappeared - meaning I should get a whole lot of Greek-studying in now. Fortunately for me, we are a bit behind schedule, so I think I have prepared most of what we'll go through tomorrow, but I still want to get a bit more done ... and I had hoped to get ahead a little, as I have to start dealing with my essay on Friday and during the weekend ... Even though I need to get up at 4 a.m., I should be able to get at least 1½-2 hours studying in now, and I think I still have some adrenaline left over from this morning, so hopefully I won't fall asleep in Novum Testamentum Greace. :)
I did take a long (1½ hours) walk this afternoon, in hopes of making the headache go away - here are some photos! :)
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: The Simpsons Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, Mentor-meeting, studies
As per request, I am supposed to do a "fun and interesting blog entry" ... okay ... *nervous smile* Easier said than done, since I've been completely exhausted since this morning's lecture. Guess I could take the easy way out and claim that in today's postmodern context, I emphasize the value of hermeneutics, meaning that there are no exact sciences and everything can be interpreted more or less any way you choose (within reason of course). Drawing on that can theoretically make this completely incoherent blog entry interesting ... for someone ... maybe ... Does that count?
Sorry, about that! These days I blame Biblical Greek on everything in my life, well almost anyway! (And the things that Biblical Greek can't be held responsible for ... well, there's always Biblical Hebrew, right?! *lol*) Seriously though, this course has started off with intensity levels I could hardly imagine! The Greek and Hebrew courses are structured pretty much in the same way, in that you first study the language and grammar, then move on to a more theological perspective, though based in the original language. When I took Hebrew, the second half of the semester was less intense then the first, even though none of it was an easy ride. And in Greek, it seems to be the opposite! We're studying the entire Gospel of Mark, and we're supposed to prepare and go through one chapter a day ... if you're not up to date in your Bibles, I'd estimate we have to prepare (on average) about 35-40 Bible verses every single day! My intention was of course to try to do just that, as the exam will be on a text from the Gospel of Mark, but since I thought we were going to focus more on theology than grammar, it felt like it wasn't the end of the world if you were precisely up to date to every single lecture - and boy was I wrong! Apparently we're going to go through every single verse in the Gospel of Mark, at least make a translation of it, and when problems arise, we discuss the grammatical analysis ... AND deal with the whole theological perspective! Quite a shock to say the least!
We were few students at lectures today, 5-6 ... meaning I (and the others!) had to read a lot verses!! I think I read seven or eight all together - and I usually have trouble reading one!! But something kind of strange happened today - because it didn't bother me at all the way it has done on most occasions!! For some reason I coped better than I think I ever have today, I read and I made mistakes and I read and I got it right and I read and I made jokes ... and that never happens!! *gasp* Don't get me wrong here, I'm totally grateful for it, and very happy! But I still can't help but wonder if this can last! I have had lectures earlier in the semester, where things have worked out really well - but it's never lasted ... just the following lecture I couldn't cope and felt really really bad. It's strange not to be able to put your finger on why it sometimes work out great and sometimes end in disaster, because it's more or less the same stuff that happens, the same people and .... *confusion* I REALLY want to be able to go more or less every single lecture on this course, I'm really starting to enjoy it more and more, the New Testament theology (that we've been into so far) is more interesting than I had anticipated, the group and the teacher work out ... and that's why I'm really scared I'll feel completely different tomorrow, will panic over the verses I can't figure out, feel totally exposed and end up with such an anxiety attack I'll have to miss lectures ... I don't think I'm being overly negative either, because that has actually happened before! I know there's nothing I can do about it, at least not tonight, all I can do is try as hard as I possible can to go, and do my best and relax - and then just cross my fingers it will work out ...
What else? Well, we'll probably be getting our exams back tomorrow! *nervous laugh* I'd be very surprised if I haven't passed, but other than that ... it's anybody's guess. I think I'm a bit more nervous about this exam than many others since there were a number of rather personal "issues" surrounding the exam, in different ways! And while I think I've worked through most of them now, I still can't leave the whole thing behind me until I get the exam back.
Otherwise, I'm pretty much living in the Gospel of Mark right now, trying to squeeze in a little Ecclesiastes for my essay when I get the chance ... I guess that doesn't sound too thrilling, but I actually really do enjoy what I'm doing, even though I'm at times complaining a lot! I have really found my place here, this is really and truly what I want to be doing! Lucky me, hey?!
That's it for tonight ... and I'll let you be the judges on the "fun and interesting" part! :) Good night!
--------------------------------------- My Life At The Moment! Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France Currently watching: Inspector Lynley - For the Sake of Elena Currently listening to: Nothing My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lectures, studying