Back To Greek And Hebrew!

Good evening!

I'm back from my little mini-trip now, which almost feels unreal!! Since it was so intense, and so short, it's hard to believe it actually happened now that I'm back in my normal routines again!
I spent most of Friday travelling, I left here at about 8.30 and arrived about 5 p.m. It was full steam ahead with my little sisters, even though the young one is a little shy - and they had grown a lot since this summer! :)
I managed a short visit with my Mum on Friday night, and we also went over some practical details with my Dad, since they'll be gone until December 23 and I'll arrive at their house before they do! :)

Saturday was play-time most of the morning *lol*, and I left about 1 o'clock. The trip was okay, it was rather slow in the beginning, but after about 1½-2 hours it started getting better. I arrived at 7.30 - and Zorro was SO happy to see me!! I had really missed him a lot, even though it was GREAT to be able to let him stay home, instead of dragging him off to someone, as I have to get him on buses and trains and whatnot!
We had a lovely evening yesterday, just relaxing, and Zorro would be on top of me almost the entire time ... he would hardly allow me to use the bathroom! :)

Today it was back to studies again ... so I've spent most of today studying Greek! My studies are a massive great confusion at the moment, and I won't bore you with details, so I haven't gotten a clue as to what I should do when ... I'm hoping the more I do, the more I'll learn what else I need to do ... if that made any kind of sense! :)

Moving on to pictures! First, some pictures from a walk I made a few days ago:



And now, a few pictures of my adorable little sisters! It was a hard time getting some good photos since I was there for such a short time, but at least I got some! I especially like the last pictures of "I" (the youngest), I think she looks so beautiful!





Blog Dedication
Today's Blog Dedication goes to Lena who kindly came to check in on Zorro! It meant a lot to him and me, so I am very grateful for that! Thanks!!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Novum Testamentum
Currently watching: Sanctuary
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies ... what else?

Weirdness!

I have had a strange few days now, not quite sure what to say about them ... they've just been ... weird ...
I have felt a little better this afternoon, and at least have gotten some studying done, so I hope I'm gonna be back on track again now! I know I get like this at times - but it's annoying since I have so much going on right now that I need to finish and work on and work out. Still, no use dwelling on the past! I am, like I said, feeling better now, so hopefully things will move on more smoothly from now on!

I really don't have that much to write about, been studying a lot of Greek lately, because we're getting some time off from Greek lectures when our teacher will go to America (lucky guy, huh?!), and I want to focus on my essay during those lecture free days ... which is why I want to stay ahead with the Greek preparations now!
Not doing all to bad though, apparently we're going to start chapter nine tomorrow and I just finished chapter eleven tonight, (and both nine and ten are fairly long), so I think I'm doing okay with that.
We have lectures tomorrow and Thursday, and then nothing until next Thursday! *GASP!* Still, the time won't be that efficient for me ...
On Friday morning, I'll go up to visit my families - the super-shortest little visit. Okay, long backstory here *lol*!
I have a hard time transporting myself up north for the Christmas holidays, so usually my Dad and I have met about half way (in Gothenburg) in December, he's driven there and I've taken bus/train, then we've swapped, so I've taken the car home, and then I have a car for when I'm going for the holidays will all my packing and Zorro. This year that won't work, because my Dad and his family will go on a major trip, a two-week trip to Florida as an early celebration of his birthday (which is in January). Therefore I'm gonna go up on Friday by bus, and take the car back with me on Saturday ... intense few days, but at least I get to see them a short while before their trip (they leave in mid-December and will be back for Christmas).
That does however mean less intense studies! :)
On Thursday I'll have to get everything ready, minor packing, cleaning, preparing Zorro (Lena will come and check in on him once while I'm away) etc. - and hopefully some studying. And I'll be gone Friday and Saturday ...
But I do hope I'll get a lot of work done on my essay as I at least have four whole days - Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. And if I can get enough ahead on Greek like ... tomorrow ... I might not have to prepare anything for Thursday and Friday next week either, meaning I can get that time for my essay as well ...

Sorry about the rambling ... I have translated about 90 Bible verses today, so my brain feels overcooked!
Anyway, I hope I'll be back to everyday blogging soon ... and hopefully some adorable pictures of my little sisters on Sunday! :)

Blog Dedication:
Two Blog Dedications today:
* To Lena, for passing her Systematic Theology exam once and for all! YAY YOU! :)
* To Storsmulan, for receiving great news for great accomplishments! YAY YOU TOO! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Novum Testamentum Greace *lol*
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 3
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lectures, library studies, more studies

New Week Ahead!

As usual, the weekend hasn't been all that great!
I guess everybody will want to kill me for saying that, but I opt for the cancellation of weekends! *lol* Seriously though, I can never get a weekend to work out! I'm constantly in a bad mood, I never get things done, and then I get upset for not getting things done, but when I try to get things done, they end up not getting done anyway!!
And yes, there's a tad bit for frustration in there ... :)

I won't make this into a long entry, because I'll just end up babbling incoherently about how terrible I feel right now, and seriously, you folks have better things to do than reading about my sucky weekend!

I do feel divided about all this though! Part of me is happy the weekend is over, because I am usually in a better mood during the weeks ... but a part of me is stressing like a maniac because I haven't gotten as much done as I should have during the weekend and I know I don't have all the time in the world during the week. Life is hard, right?!

It's getting late already, but I'm hoping - *fingers crossed* - I'll get about 1-1½ hours of studies done tonight ... before going to bed (though I'm still yawning like crazy already!)!

Pic of the Day - yeah, it returns! :)




I spoke to both my sisters on the phone yesterday, so what better pic-of-the-day than this wonderful "Yummy!"-scrap! :)

Blog Dedication
To Lena - who's doing an oral exam tomorrow!! Thinking of you, I'm sure you'll turn the charm on and things will work out! ;) *hugs*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France (and a lot of other stuff as well)
Currently watching: "Parlamentet" (Swedish comedy)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Library studies, Greek lecture, maybe meeting Lena, more studies

13,000 Visistors!! And Hectic Times!

Wow, 13,000 Visitors!! Thank you all so much for reading my blog (despite my absence now)!! :)
Also, I have added a feature which you can see in the right column, called Follow this blog! Please feel free to use it, and it helps you keep track of my blog, and it helps me to know who keeps track of my blog! :) A Winner For All!

Moving on to more practical matters ... as I have some hectic days coming up now. I basically hope I can survive until November 1st, when I should be able to take a well-earned relaxing holiday - I hope! I know I haven't written here in ages, so I thought I'd give you a little insight to what is actually going on these two weeks. I guess it's not over-the-top, but since I haven't been feeling great, I get tired a lot easier and things usually take longer to finish.
But here we go...

Tomorrow I have lectures (Greek) 8-10. Right after that there is a mentor meeting (which I would have liked to attend, as I have been to very few), but I am meeting my Greek teacher then, for a bit of a run-through of the latest grammar. Since I haven't been doing so great the last few weeks, I feel I have missed some things, and he agreed to take a while after lectures and run it by me again ...
Then I'm meeting Lena at Uni, she has a group exam in her New Testament course, and it's nice to be able to catch up when we're both at the Department at the same time! When I come home, I have a few errands in town that I have been putting off, and I'm definitely hoping to get them done tomorrow! *fingers crossed*

On Thursday I think I "only" have lectures in the morning ... which means I should be able to get home early and get a lot of studying done. *fingers crossed again*

Friday will be a long day. Greek lectures 8-10, and then I'll probably be working on my essay in the library. At 4.15, the professor I had in Old Testament Hebrew (twice!) will give his last lecture at the Department, and I really want to attend. He's one of the better teachers I've had, and it will be a loss to the Department that he won't be teaching anymore - but I'm very much looking forward to his lecture, I'm curious what it will be about!
Anyway, that will mean I'm not home until quite late ...

On Saturday is the Wedding!!! Lena and Tobias are getting married on Saturday, and guess who's invited as the unofficial photographer? *gulp* It's going to be wonderful to be there, but I can't help being a bit nervous. I've only attended one wedding in my life, and that was 15 years ago! And I also actually turned down a wedding invitation from a friend a few years ago, when I wasn't feeling so great ... so yeah, I'm pretty nervous. Will be fun doing a lot of photographing though! :) I'm definitely not a pro in any way, but I enjoy it a lot, and hopefully I'll be able to get some nice shots of the happy couple!

And then things get a bit tricky ... becuase I know I'll probably need some time to wind down and calm myself down after the wedding (things like that always require some "recovery-time" for me, even though I'm doing way better than ever before), and the problem is I don't have that time. Sure, Sunday, but I cannot take Sunday off, because on Monday morning, I have this major essay seminar which I'm in a complete state of panic about!!
I have neglected most of the work on my essay and what I have been doing on it just feels silly and stupid and not something that will ever work out. I have had a few previous bad experiences with essays that didn't get written, and I think that has stuck in my mind, because it seems absolutely impossible for me do work this out. And presenting some of it as a seminar is NOT something I'm looking forward to, especially since everybody is going to have oppinions, you're supposed to bascially defend the parts of your essay you are presenting - SCARY!! I also know that the two professors leading the seminar are very demanding, which I really like ... I'd rather have that than a professor who doesn't care ... but demanding professors also means a LOT more criticism - and I do not take even constructive criticism well. *gulp*
I will be missing a Greek lecture on Monday too, because the lecture and the seminar collides ... but I cannot miss the seminar, so I'm just gonna have to live with it.

The rest of that week is bascially Greek lectures Tuesday and Wednesday, one or two mentor meetings - which I HAVE to attend!!! - and then the huge exam on Friday morning (8 a.m. through 1 p.m.).
And after that, I have a feeling I'll be more dead than alive ...

Yep, that's my "come-back-entry" ... here's what's going on right now, and hopefully I'll be able to sort it out ... I'm not saying everything has to be perfect, but a lot of things now need work if the consequences aren't going to be too dire.
I need to go to all the lectures that are left ... (except the one I'll miss because of the seminar).
I need to at least make a decent impression on the essay seminar, to feel I have any chance of ever finishing this essay.
I need to pass the Greek exam, otherwise things will be very complicated.
And I really want my two "personal challenges" - which is the retirement lecture on Friday and the wedding on Saturday - to work out for me. I know that I'm probably oversensitive when it comes to things like that, I tend to notice things nobody else notices etc. - but I need to feel pretty good about it for my own confidence. Fact of the matter is, the most important thing is how I feel about the things I'm doing, not how everybody else reacts ...

Long entry ... I think I'd better head back to my Greek grammar now, so I'm prepared for tomorrow! :)
Take care!

Pic of the Day:


I just got this sudden craving for ice cream - and what better than to make this the pic of the day! :) It was taking on an outing this summer, and it was the first time I had seen "I" eat ice cream on her own! :) Cutie!

Blog Dedication:
To Lena, whom I know is struggling to make things work out right now! Hang in there - you'll make it work in the end - I have every confidence in you!


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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Död i ruta ett, Olov Svedelid
Currently watching: The X-Files, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, meeting with the teacher, meeting Lena, running errands, studying

Back Again?

I have been feeling a lot better today than in a long time, which has been great!
I actually started feeling better yesterday, but for some reason, I didn't get anything done, and that annoyed me a great deal - so even if my health was better, my mood was rather foul. Today both of them are better! :)

I got some cleaning done this morning - and some Greek sentences! At noon I met Lena, we went to a ... I guess the best translation I can think of is "second-hand store", but they had some pretty fantastic things there - huge furniture, really old stuff (felt almost like being in a museum), old records and everything you can think of. They had a lot pianos there, and I really miss mine ... *sigh* I know I can't keep it here, there would be no way I'd be able to play anyway - but I really miss it ...
We went back here and had a chat and some coffee - and some Zorro-cuddling-time of course! :) I had a great time, and I'm noticing more and more how much I enjoy "talking theology"! *lol* I have known for quite some time that I have a genuine interest in the subject, but it becomes so much more evident when you discuss it. We have taken at least some of the same courses, and have the same general knowledge about things, which makes it very easy to discuss and check out different angles and ideas!

When Lena went home to study for her exam (Good Luck in Advance!!), I realized I had neglected shopping for a while, so I had to make an emergency-outing to the grocery store. Did manage to study some Greek grammar on the way though!
Had dinner when I got home, and have since tried to prepare sentences for tomorrow! While I can make the sentences work - I hope! - I have been very very tired tonight, so I haven't gotten as much done as I had hoped. Still, we have lectures at 10 tomorrow, so I'm hoping to get a few hours in tomorrow morning as well ...

The beginning of next week will be pretty intense for me. Tomorrow we have lectures 10-12 and at 3 there is a major educational information-meeting with our student councellor, and I have to (and want to!) attend ... since the Swedish University system has undergone some major changes to adapt to the European University system, things have turned out complicated to say the least! I have no idea how long this information will last, but at least I know I won't be home until rather late. (In between 12 and 3 I have to work seriously on my essay ... which I have neglected far too much!)
Tuesday is even worse ... yet another "Terrible Tuesday" I suppose! Greek lectures 8-10, then a mentor meeting 10-11. At 11.15 there's a lecture from the Bishop, on Theology and Science in the Postmodern Era (or something to that affect), and I'd really love to go to it. I've never gone to lectures such as that before, so I'm a little nervous ... but than again, if they advertise it at the Departmet, it has to be open for everyone, right?! :)
Then I have to continue working on my essay in the library, and 4-6 I have the optional essay-writing course - meaning I won't be home until 7.30 ... *yikes*
And after that there are Greek lectures 8-10 Wednesday, Thursday and Friday ...

I know it's only 8 p.m. but I'm gonna try to wind down and get to bed really early - I'm sooooo tired, there's really no point in trying to get anything more done tonight!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Today's Blog Dedication: To Storsmulan, who's had a rotten day today! Hang in there!! *hugs*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Diamonds are Forever, Ian Fleming
Currently watching: Stargate Atlantis, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, information meeting, essay work, studies (see above)

Some Week-Starter!

Whoa - I thought tomorrow was going to be "Terrible Tuesday", but today hasn't exactly been a piece of cake either ...
I had lectures at 10, and while overall everything felt okay, some things really feel weird and rather hard to deal with. I actually had to read, not just one but two sentences - the second one became mostly just weird, and while I didn't mind that so much, I had very high anxiety levels throughout the lectures. There are also starting to be some tension within the group, and since we are very few, I'm afraid that will turn into something that might be hard to deal with on a daily basis. And I also found out that we're going to do even more of the "unprepared" stuff at tomorrow's lecture ... yay - not! *rolling eyes*

One good thing about this morning was that during our break I met up with a girl I have been studying with before, and we started talking. She just got some great news, and it was really nice catching up. I also met a few other students I've been taking courses with before, and now everybody is saying 'hello' and we can say at least a few words. That would have been so faaaar beyond my wildest dreams when I got back from sick-leave - it's quite an amazing feeling to actually experience it now! :)

I met Lena afterwards, but I felt very stressed out and mostly hyper about everything, so I'm guessing I wasn't that much fun to talk to. I was supposed to stay at the Library and check out some stuff for my essay - I have a personal meeting with my professor, and a seminar with the group tomorrow - but I couldn't focus at all, so I gave up and went home.

The afternoon as just flown by, I have no idea where the hours have gone, but I haven't gotten much done. This day was not supposed to be so bad, and yet I don't feel good at all. I'm trying to write in my diary a lot, to sort things out - but I'm very unfocused and I feel very confused about everything, so it's hard to reach some kind of decision or resolve at all ...

Tomorrow really is "Terrible Tuesday":
Greek lectures 8-10 - with apparently some unprepared reading! *deep sigh*
I have half an hour to check out the library (though I hardly even know what I'm looking for!!) and at 10.30 I'm meeting the professor about the essay. I have a strong feeling I should have done a lot more than I have, but I feel very insecure about the whole thing right now!!
Then I have a "break" until 1.30, when we have the group seminar about the essay. Still not sure what that is going to be like, or what it will be dealing with, but I'm hoping we won't have to present anything for real, because I don't even know what I want to write about yet! *nervous*
And then, I have an optional information course in essay-writing between four and six - and I don't know anything about that either, or who will be there ...
And I won't be home until about 7.30 - AND I have to be at Uni for Greek lectures (and possibly be prepared for some reading or whatnot) at 8 a.m. the next morning .... *gaaaaaah*

I have had definate thoughts on not going tomorrow, because I really feel terrible and I'm not sure if I can cope with all that in one day, when I feel like this. But I also know and feel like it would be very good if I really could go. For a number of reasons. Of course it's good to be there, and establish my position at Uni and in the groups, I need to get started on my essay so I need those meetings etc. but I also feel like I need to be able to get to Uni even when I'm not feeling 100% ... so it would be a good thing from that perspective as well.
I'm quickly realizing I will not be able to "prepare" (either Greek nor the essay stuff) the way I would like to, because I still have a massive diary entry to write, and I have to get up at 4 and it's already 9.30 - but I guess I'm gonna have to let everyone know that I will be more like a zombie than a human being tomorrow, and people will just have to deal with that. Also, that might get me out of unprepared reading in the Greek-lecture. I know I just can't look for ways to "get out of" things now, because I'm gonna have to learn to actually do them, but on a day like tomorrow - and when I'm feeling this bad - I think it'd be okay to try to "get out of" the situations that give me top-anxiety levels at least ...

Okay, I really shouldn't be sitting here now - I should be writing in my diary trying to find ways that will make it easier for me to cope with everything that's going on right now! Wish me luck, okay?! :)
Thanks!
Take care!

Today's Blog Dedication: To Lena, who patiently listened to me whine and whine and whine and whine today! Sorry about that - and thanks for taking the time to listen! :)
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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Angels and Demons, Dan Brown
Currently watching: 2½ Men
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lecture, essay-meeting, essay-seminar, essay-course!

I Don't Like Roller Coasters!

I honestly don't like regular roller coasters - and I really really don't like the emotional kind!
This past few days have been quite overwhelming, and I'm not sure how to make heads or tails of what's going on in my life. So in advance: apologies if this entry makes no sense whatsoever! :)

Okay, Friday (see, I need to back a long way to sort this out!) wasn't great, since I missed Uni, even though that wasn't entirely my fault ...
I spent most of the weekend trying to study and catch up and work with myself, and I was doing quite well, everything felt okay. Sunday night I was nervous for the week to come, of course, but I felt quite confident I could make a come-back without any major problems.

And then came Monday! And I still have no idea what actually happened ... some time when I'm not constantly stressing, I really need to sit down and try to figure it out. I had slept poorly, had weird and pretty uncomfortable dreams, and I woke up with a major anxiety attack. That I can handle ... usually! But for some reason, it was like I had stepped into a time machine when I woke up - and had gone back in time some 4-5 years or so!
I write a lot in a personal diary, especially when I'm going through rough times, and writing helps me a great deal. I have even managed to actually "talk sense to myself" in my diary - I can totally tell myself to "get a grip - deal - move on - do what it is you're supposed to do!" ... and I can actually do it.
But Monday didn't work at all. I followed my usual routine in writing, which is that I usually just pour out all the bad feelings and terrible horrible things I can think of ... and then I take a few deep breaths, and start dealing - finding solutions, finding alternative thoughts that make me cope etc - and while I could find those thoughts, they meant nothing to me. I couldn't use them at all.
I haven't felt that bad in a very, very long time - and I didn't go to lectures! It also meant missing out on breakfast with Lena, which felt terrible because I really wanted to do that - but there was no way I could get out of my apartment.

I was supposed to work really hard at figuring this whole thing out during the day - and catch up on studies, and I just spent the entire day in a black hole, doing nothing at all.

And after Monday came Tuesday - yesterday! Which turned out to be the complete and utter opposite!! I had anticipated another major anxiety attack, because now I had missed yet another day of Uni, and I know that has consequences! Sure, I felt nervous and a bit anxious, but the levels where nowhere near what I had felt on Monday!!
I got to Uni at 8, had lectures - I was excused from the read-translate-analyze moment, since the teacher knew I had been away, but I followed the lecture, I got what was said, I spent time with my fellow students, and it all just worked out! I had lunch with no less than 4 (!) people - I definately don't do that a lot! - I studied in the library and prepared even more for today than I actually had to!!
At 4.15 p.m. we had an introduction for those of us writing essays during the semester, and I was quite nervous about that. I have never written one before, and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to write about. I knew (in a loose sense of the word but still) everybody who was there except two (!), which was a very cool feeling - and even though the prospect of writing this essay in the manner expected is somewhat frightening, I am looking forward to it ... :)
After a lot of general information, we went off with our separate professors (the entire group includes those writing in Old and New Testament, but there is of course one OT-professor and one NT-professor). Only me and Per were writing in OT, so we went with our professor - Per got his info out of the way pretty quickly, because he had a fair idea what he wanted to do ... and I just got more and more nervous.
The professor was really nice though - I actually had him on a short basic course before I got on sick-leave, in 2001 ... kinda cool! ;) He helped me a lot just by being nice, and after we had talked a little, he gave me some great ideas for my essay - so now I at least know where to start digging! :)

I wasn't home until 6.30 (!!) and was pretty exhausted - so not much got done yesterday evening.

Finally arriving at today - wonder if any reader has had the energy to continue reading this ... :)
Lectures again at 8, and now I knew I couldn't be excused from reading - but I still wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. Lectures were a bit of a let-down today, actually, for some reasons, but at this point, there's not much to be done about that ...
I did get to read, but it seemed our teacher would have let me "get away" without reading today as well - but since I had mentally prepared for it, I went ahead and did it! *yay me* :) It didn't go perfect - far from it - because I think I both read the Greek text wrong and made errors in the translation, but despite a number of "problems" I feel the general 'mood' in the classroom is very relaxed and feels 'okay', so I didn't mind as much as I thought I would. I still don't feel good about it, but I don't feel too bad about it either - and I don't think this will make me go into a major anxiety attack the next time I'm going to read (which will be tomorrow, in all certainty) - and I guess that's the main thing.

I spent about two hours studying in the library and then I met up with Lena, so we went home together - niiiiice with company on the train! *yay*

I should have studied lots and lots and lots this afternoon - but fact of the matter is, I'm really tired. As you well have nocticed by now (if you've read this far!!!), these past few days have been very overwhelming, and my energy levels aren't exactly on top (doesn't help that I have to get up at 4 a.m. every morning either). Still, I'm hoping to get a few hours in now.
Aparently this teacher (in Greek) has a small "test" (for your own sake, but still) every Friday ... I missed the first one, obviously, but even though it's not something major, I still feel you should be up-to-speed, and study a little extra for that ... so tonight I will focus on expanding my vocabulary ... tomorrow I will have to seriously get going with grammar! Wish me luck, okay?! :)

*phew* Took some energy to get through this entry, that's for sure! Still, at least now both you and I are up-to-speed about what's going on. If I can feel pretty okay about things generally now - for a while at least - I hope I can get back to daily updates of the blog.
Also, don't forget my other blogs either:

• Jessica's Daily Pictures
• ~ Cogito, ergo sum! ~ [swedish]
  

Today's Blog Dedication: To all readers that managed to get through this massive entry! Thank You! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 10
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures at Uni and lots of studying

Celebrating 12,000!

Wow - 12,000 vistors!! That's incredible! THANK YOU! :)

To tell the truth, I had no idea this blog would be so successful! :) I mostly started it for fun! *lol* If you are a more or less regular reader of this blog, I'd love to know who you are ... please type in a comment on a post, or send me an email at: jessiezorro@gmail.com - would be great to find out a little more about my readers!! I'm very happy you seem to enjoy my blog - so this 12,000th entry is dediccated to YOU! :)

Today's Blog Dedication: To all my wonderful readers who keep my counter up and have now reached amazing 12,000 since 20 September 2006 -- THANK YOU! :)

Happy Birthday Amanda Tapping!

First of all, wishing Amanda Tapping a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I've been doing okay today, better than the last few days at least, and I guess that's something. I have tried clearing off a bit here (I tend to make a mess of a perfectly clean room in about 4 seconds!), I ran a few errands in town and mailed a few packages, I've gone through some photographs and put them into Albums - I'm so way behind on that, and I've been catching up on the AmandaTapping.com Forum ... not that bad, right?! :)

I still wish I was feeling better and could be more efficient, since I know that starting Monday I probably won't have neither time nor energy to do anything but studying - but I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself either. After all, I haven't been feeling the best, and doing something has to be better than doing nothing!

Tomorrow I simply have to meet with CSN ("The National Board of Student Aid"), as I've been putting it off forever now. If I don't meet with them and try to sort things out, I won't get my money, so I really have no choice now. Hopefully I'm feeling up for it tomorrow.
I'm not quite sure how to plan the day though, as I really should do a lot of things. I have "errands" to run pretty much all over the county, and I still haven't figured out how to plan that, what to skip, what is better to do when ... it's kinda complicated. Guess I'll have to take sometime to sort that out tonight. CSN doesn't open until 1 p.m. but if I'm going half way across the county, maybe I should try to do that before CSN tomorrow ... life is hard! Ah well, I guess that will be sorted out somehow!

I'm happy to feel this much better, I hope it continues, because I know I'm gonna need every bit of energy I can get to cope with Uni on Monday, so fingers crossed!
Hope you are all doing well!

Today's Blog Dedication: To Birthday Girl Amanda Tapping!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Val McDermid
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 7
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow:CSN, errands ...

I Am So Lucky!

I really feel like I'm such a lucky person today!!
I had a fantastic day yesterday - and the entire week has just been amazing - and I feel really lucky and blessed!

But I guess I should start at the beginning...
I had intended going shopping first thing tomorrow morning, as a store just north of town were having a clothes sale (I truly hate buying clothes, as I feel like a fat cow every time I try anything on, but then again, I simply have to have clothes to wear, so sometimes I just don't have a choice).
I overslept a little, but still managed to get the early bus ... I started checking the clothes department of the store, and for a change I really didn't hate it!! *gasp* Okay, so I'd still be happy if I lost a whole bunch of kilos - and fast (working on that!) - but somehow the "trying-on-clothes" wasn't a complete torture. I actually found one pair of jeans (they were really comfortable, and looks okay and was super-cheap, so I'm seriously considering going back and getting another pair ... or two ... *lol*) and three (!) shirts!! One is a liiiiittle tight, but give me a serious week or two working on my food-and-excercise habits and it'll work out. And while the other ones also will look a lot better in a few weeks, I can at least wear them without worrying about looking like the biggest freak around!
I was also supposed to buy some food and vegetables, but they were really expensive, so I decided to get them when I got home.

As soon as I had payed for my clothes, I realized that my bus home, had left like a minute before - the next one was due in an hour! *sigh* I had however spotted a city-bus stop not far from the store, so I thought I'd go there, see if I can catch a city bus to the train station and take the train home. I was totally lucky, I ended up at the right bus stop and the came after like 15 seconds! Amazing! I had a nice little bus ride (I always enjoy going places I've never been before) and was able to come just in time for the train, I only had to wait about a minute for it.
Once I got home, I bought what I was supposed to, took a bus home, and was completely exhausted - so I slept for a few hours!

Then it was time to start getting things in order for Taco-Night! :) I did some clearing away, ran the vacuum cleaner, prepared most of the tacos and took a shower, and then headed to the train station to meet Sara and Johanna. They came from oposite directions, but both trains were late, so I had to wait about 15 minutes for Johanna, and then we spent about 5 minutes waiting for Sara.
It was SO nice to see them again, I have really really missed them during the summer! We have the same sense of humor and we can really comunicate in a wonderful way. For me, who is used to having major anxiety when it comes to dealing with people, and constantly worrying about what I'm saying, if it sounds right, if I'm doing the right things ... It's just a fantastic feeling to now meet lots of people, where that's not an issue!! I can be "me", relaxed and just say what comes to mind, without having to think twice about it - and it works! ;)

We had a lovely night, eating tons of Tacos - at least it felt that way - and more or less constant laughing! *LOL* I really really hope we can get together very soon again!

They left around midnight, but I was sooo hyper and riding on an adrenaline wave, so I didn't fall alseep until about 2 a.m.
I woke up around 5, with stomach cramps, so I was up taking some pain killers - went back to bed and slept to 10.30!!!!!!!!!!! *yikes*!!!! That never happens to me! :)
When I got up, feeling almost drugged, I realized that last night we spent some time getting things in and out of the refrigirator and the freezer, and the last time, we hadn't closed the freezer door properly ... so my floor was REALLY wet, there was ice all over and dripping constanly!
Still, not to fret, as I had been meaning to defrost my freezer for like a year or so ... now I'm finally getting it done! *lol* Most of the morning I've spent wiping my kitchen floor and removing ice. Still, I hope it won't take to long until it's done and I can get the freezer up and running again.

I had intended to go to Lund today, and deal with some problems I'm having with CSN ("The National Board of Student Aid"), but I'm really tired, the freezer isn't working yet, and my stomach cramps aren't that much fun right now, so I'm gonna have to deal with that next week instead.
For now, I'm thinking a nice, relaxing, quiet day today! :) Maybe, just maybe, I can start clearing in my bedroom, or add some auctions to tradera, but I'm definately NOT going to do some major project today! :)

Today's Blog Dedication: To All My Friends Wherever You Are - I am SO lucky to have you guys, thank you!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Val McDermid
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 5
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: No idea! :)

Great Visit + Blogs!

I've had a rather mixed-feelings-day today.
I got up fairly early and managed to get some clearing done, and take a shower - AND relax a little - before Lena came around noon. I hadn't seen her since ... around June 5th I guess, and it was great to see her again!
We had some catching up to do, and I am constantly reminded of how wonderful it is to meet people I can relax with, and enjoy just spending time with - without having to worry about a major ongoing anxiety attack!! Also, there might be a slight chance Lena could reconsider the courses to take this semester and maybe take New Testament-Greek ... which is what I'm taking! I'd really love it if she did, as I very much enjoyed her company and having her as a study-buddy last semester in Hebrew - but of course it's her choice! :)

After she left I ended up trying to sort out a few things on the computer ... and naturally it ended up being waaaay bigger than I thought ... [see entries below].
All my blogs seemed to hate me and refused to do anything right - which was very annoying. I managed to get my Swedish blog, ~ Cogito, ergo sum! ~, to work after a few hours, but my Everyday Pictures!-blog seemed lost forever. I decided to start over, with 'Jessica's Daily Pictures! instead, so hopefully that will work out better - even though some of the pictures I will publish there have already been used in the old blog.

Tomorrow morning I'm going for a shopping tour, but I'm hoping to get a few hours to clear away and prepare for Tacos before Sara and Johanna arrive. Apparently, Johanna had late-lectures and would come straight after that, but it doesn't look like they'll be here before 8 p.m. - I'll meet them at the bus stop - so I'm guessing it'd be a good thing to have prepared most of the food! :)

Today's Blog Dedication: Jay Acovone (born 1955) - who played Major Charles Kawalsky in Stargate SG-1. Happy Birthday! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: A Val McDermid novel + a book on the Dead Sea Scrolls
Currently watching: Family Guy
Currently listening to: The Robbery - Javert's Intervention (Les Misérables CSR)
My Plans for tomorrow:

Daily Photos!

As per request (well, sort of ...), I will be adding daily photos of my cleaning progress! *lol* As you can see, not that much has happened yet! But to be honest, the kitchen is actually CLEAN now *promise*, the only thing is I'm gonna have to put a lot of stuff in it while I clean other stuff.
The living room however, is far from ready ... and I should really get that, as well as the hall and bathroom ready by tomorrow, as I have a friend coming over on Tuesday! *yikes* I've already given up on getting the bedroom ready, it's never been really "in order" since I moved here, so I'm gonna have to take that a bit at a time ... but it's still a lot of work left.
I haven't been that efficient today either, for several reasons. One is actually shopping. I was supposed to go shopping around lunch time - but it took forever, and by the time I got home, I had forgotten a lot of stuff - so I had to go again tonight! *sigh*
Also, I haven't been feeling so great the past few days. I don't know if there's something I'm allergic to, or what's the matter, but I'm constantly sweating and I'm having problems breathing. I honestly don't think it's serious (and those of you who know me, know I'd have to experience a near-death-thing before seeing a doctor), but everything gets a lot more difficult when you're constnatly gasping for air ...

Okay, enough complaining now ... My mood is a lot better than yesterday, and even though I know I have tons of cleaning left, I'm hoping to be pretty efficient tomorrow, and feel I can get a lot of things done. My "real" vacation here at home, will probably start next week, that is tomorrow, as things will be more active from then. I've tried doing things since I got back from the summerhouse, but starting next week I will have to start dealing with Uni in a more active way, I will start meeting friends (I have one coming over on Tuesday, and have more or less decided - though not definate yet - with three others) and that will probably act as a motivator, to get the cleaning over and done with! I hope ... :)

Sorry about the not-so-long entries lately ... yesterday my mood was horrible, and I only slept about 3 hours tonight (yup, due to my breathing difficulties I'm more or less giving up sleeping in my bedroom - but the couch isn't that comfortable) so now I'm exhausted!

Today's Blog Dedication: To Storsmulan, who isn't feeling the best at the moment! My thoughts are with you! *hugs*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Val McDermid (sorry, can't remember the English title)
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: MAJOR CLEANING! :)

Home Sweet Home! (and 11000 visitors!)

Hello readers! :)

I'm finally back home now, so hopefully I'm also back to more conintual blogging!!
It's been an intense summer, and my Dad and his family left around lunch time today, so I'm having a rather tough day today ... I totally hate good-byes!!!

Still, I thought I'd let you all know I'm back now, so I'm hoping things will be more or less back-on-track from tomorrow. I have always felt terrible about good-byes, so I'm almost always putting aside that day, as I don't really feel capable of doing anything constructive on that particular day.

I have several entries planned for the next few days, as it's easier to split everything that's been happening this summer into separate entries - so keep an eye out for updates now ... I'm hoping to at least accomplish one or two (maybe more) entries every day for the next few days!

Overall, I'm happy with this summer, although it's been tough at times. I think what I find most difficult is the radical changes. When my Dad's family has been out in the summerhouse with me, it's felt like living in a circus, well, almost anyway! It's been very intense and quite demanding to make it all work ... but once they've left me there, it's almost been too quiet! I've been all alone with Zorro, with not much to do, and a TV that hardly worked ... and then it's been very boring ...
But like I said, overall, it's been a good summer! My contact with my oldest sister, 'M', is really great, almost too good (!) as she totally adores me, and I've also established a good contact with my youngest sister, 'I', and that feels very good. No family disasters and most of the times, moods all around have been very good, so even though I haven't always felt great, my general impression of the summer, in retrospect, is that I'm happy with the summer of 2008!!
Naturally, there are things you wish were different, but that's a general fact of life, and you simply have to realize that you can't change some things that happen ...

Also, I wish you say THANK YOU to all my readers, as I've reached 11,000 visitors during the summer!!! Quite Amazing!!!
I didn't think anyone would visit this blog since I've been away, and not updated at all (almost!), but it seems I'm still getting visits - thanks guys!! I'll make sure to update the blog regularly at the future, so I hope you'll come back to check up on me! ;)

Take care!!

/Jessica (and Zorro)

Today's Blog Dedication: To Zorro, who has been so patient during the summer, and who is soooo nice to the children, even though they're running wild around him! I love you!! :)

I'm Still Alive!

Hey everyone!!

Just a short blog entry to let you know that I am still alive, though I haven't been blogging in ages!! Since I don't have a computer or internet access in the summerhouse, I can only get online when visiting my Mom, and with gas prices reaching way high, I can't afford to travel much now.

Things are going okay here, some good some bad, which is expected, I guess. It's nice meeting my families, and I love the summerhouse, but I more and more get the feeling that my 'real' life is at home, in my own space and minding my own life.

Still hoping to get back home very early in August, but we haven't really planned that far ahead yet - planning is always difficult, to be able to do everything you want to do, work it out with cars, if I'm going away somebody has to look after Zorro, we have to take care of the summerhouse and the garden/land attached to it etc. I'm also hoping to be able to visit Annika over a weekend, so I'm gonna have to seriously start thinking about that too!
Even though I have a rather heavy semester ahead of me (although not as bad as the spring semester!!) I still get the feeling it will feel more peaceful than ...:-)

Anyway, I don't have the time to give you a full account of anything that's going on, and no pictures either since I'm not on my own computer ... but I promise to post a number of entries when I'm back home again.

I hope you are all enjoying your summer!!
/Jessica

Today's Blog Dedication: To Zorro, who celebrates his 11th birthday today!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling!!

An 'All-Gone-Wrong' Day ... Almost!

Most of today has been seriously annoying ... as pretty much all I've done has gone completely wrong - in one way or another! It was kind of like that yesterday too, so now I'm totally hoping for a better day tomorrow! :) (though I have the strongest feeling there's nothing that says tomorrow will be better just because these two days hasn't worked out!)

I didn't get the cleaning done yesterday of course, though I had intended to finish, so I had a lot left for today. My friend Kajsa was coming around lunch, and my plan was to clean in the morning, jump on a train to Lund and get the last things at Uni done, and then catch the same train Kajsa was on ...

I was awakened by an insane Zorro at 5 a.m. and ifgured I might as well get up. Spent some time writing in my diary but started cleaning at about 6.30 ... And kept going and going and going ... and the more I did, the more I realized I had left.
I managed to get pretty much all of it done - I should have cleaned the windows, and mopped the floors, but I simply don't think I will find the time for it now.

I left home at 10 and was taking a train at 10.20, which was supposed to be in Lund at 10.37 ... the train Kajsa was on left at 11.22, so I figured I had plenty of time to get to the Department and fix things inbetween.
The train was a little late, but only five minutes or so, so I wasn't that worried. But as soon we had started, we slowed down again. Aparently there was a signal error, meaning at first we stood still forever, then we could go but at a seriously reduced speed (try 20 km/h or something), and stop at every single signal ...
I sent a message to Kajsa asking her to take the next train instead ... as we arrived in Lund at 11.25!!! The next train would leave at 11.51, so I rushed to the Department ... and then the problems continued!
The receptionists aren't always handling things smoothly, and it felt like it took forever before I could do what I had intended ... so then I had to rush back to the station to catch the train!

I met Kajsa and it was great to see her again!!! :) I don't know when we saw each other last, but it was a very looooong time ago, that's for sure! During her visit, things actually worked out - guess she was my luck of the day! :) She left around three, and since then I've actually managed to relax, done some stuff on the internet ... should start packing but don't really know if I'm up to it right now ...
I've done some digi-scrapping tonight, they're uploaded in the Cute Sisters! Picasa album! :) (if you want to see them, drop me a note and I'll see what I can do!)

Tomorrow will be a busy day as well, I'll be spending the morning packing, then I'm off to a couple of big malls up north, and after that I'm visiting Lena first for a few hours, before going to Sara and Martin, and his gorgeous little cat Pixel - whom I've never met!!! :) Looking forward to tomorrow actually, and hoping things will work better than today!

Today's Blog Dedication: A little late, I know, but the blog dedication goes to Lena for getting VG on the entire Hebrew-course (i.e. the entire semester!)!!!! Congratulations!!!


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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: It, Stephen King
Currently watching: The Simpsons
Currently listening to: "Köppöbävisan", Bengt Pegefeld
My Plans for tomorrow: Packing, mall [window]shopping, meeting Lena & Tobias, meeting Sara & Martin & Pixel! :)

So This Is It!!

Hi!
Not quite sure what to say or do right now - I can't really grasp that I'm here ... I've completed the last exam of the last course of this semester ... I just seem to stare out into thin air right now, not knowing how to feel or what to do! :)

To put you all to ease: I passed!! *happy now*
Though unfortunately it's not happiness straight up ... because even though I did pass (though no high grade: VG) I'm really not happy with my own performance! I had no idea how the exam would be done, and I couldn't really cope with the way it was done ... I missed a lot of things, I was totally nervous and freaked out and felt stressed like crazy - which made it all sooo much worse!

Okay, a little boring details, so you'll know what I'm talking about! :)
Part of the exam was about 20 pages of Hebrew text, and I was unsure of how to work with this. I did translate all of them, analyze all the words, and then retypted them all - and I felt okay with it. I knew I didn't know all the words, far from it, but on the basic course almost no effort is laid on words - it's all grammar. I think that for the last exam, after an entire semester's studies, students are excepted to have a vocabulary of about 60-70 words, or something like that - and I knew I knew far more than that.
And at the exam, all that happened was, I was given the text (2-5 verses at a time) and just told: "Translate!"
Needless to say, I was totally stressed out, and if at first sight I didn't recall a word, I just froze up ... it felt really terrible!! Especially since I felt like I did know at least some of it - I knew it at home, but couldn't for the life of me think of it when I was there. There were also some questions on litterature - and I felt like I was talking completely out-of-the-blue regarding everything ...
All in all - I wanted to make a good impression, and I can safely say: I didn't!
Well, actually, let me modify that, with a though I was working on this morning, before heading off to Uni. I do want to make a good impression, absolutely! Earlier though, that has been the same thing as "knowing things". If I have been at Uni and people have noticed I have a lot of knowledge, I've made a good impression! And that may be true, but I think it's more to it than that - in the way that I actually can make a good impression on someone at Uni, even though I don't know everything I'm supposed to know ... just for being me, a fairly nice and friendly person. It will take some time getting used to that idea though! :)

I know, deep down I do know, that this is the professor's decision - if he think I did well enough to get a passing grade, I shall accept it with a great big smile on my face! :) (even though he's sooo kind, I can't imagine what you'd have to do to actually fail!) And I think I eventually will feel that way too - it's just that since this just recently happened, I have a hard time not looking at my performance and pretty much hating every single minute of it!

What actually was positive, was that when he said we were done, and I got a passing grade, I could talk a little about other things as well - I thanked him for the dinner-evening he arranged for the Hebrew-students last Monday, we talked about that ... we talked a little about post-graduate studies in the Old Testament, as I have hopes of reaching there eventually, and that felt really good ... not least because it was actually me who initiated that ... and I'm really terrible at initiating things! :)

Now I'm in for BIG TIME celebration!! In more ways than one!!

First of all for finishing this semester of course ... and doing it in the way I have! For the first half of the semester, I was officially taking a Biblical Studies course, and at the same time, I followed an Introductory Hebrew course (that I took last spring, but needed to do again, as I felt awful then!) - so I took two full-time courses at the same time. The second half of the semester, I followed - unofficially - the continuing Hebrew/interpretation course, and at the same time did an official Biblical Interpretation course and, also officially, a half-time reading course .... Now, I did slack off a bit on my unofficial course as there was no way possible I could cope otherwise, so I can't say that I studied 250% the last half, but mabye 200% in total ...
Just doing THAT, and making it work, is an effort for me, who's had problems following the regular official 100% courses before!

Another cause for celebration is actually having completed the courses. The Swedish University system is undergoing a lot of changes, but for now, I tend to think in the old system, where a semester was 20 points (was supposed to be 20 weeks of full-time studies). Previous semesters, ever since I got back from sick-leave, I have taken 10-16 points during the semester (I've left some behind me for a while, and caught up on others on re-exams some months later). And this semester, I have not only taken the expected 20 points, I've actually taken 25!!! (since the unofficial corses don't count - but the fact is I "unofficially" took the first exam there, and got the high grade, VG, on it!) Totally amazing!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just found out another cause for celebration!!!!! I logged onto my student's account, and saw that the Biblical Interpretation had been reported, and I had VG!!!!!!!! I put a lot of effort into the main paper we did, but this was the first course (along with the reading course) I took on Advanced Level, and even though there's always a hope, I hadn't really expected it!!!!!

Soooooo, officially and unofficially I have this semester taken three written exams, one oral exam and one "hand-in-a-lot-of-papers"-exam ... I got G (the regular passing grade) on the oral exam, and VG on ALL the others, meaning out of 35 points I have had VG on 30!!! (though some are unofficial and won't count)
That's really something!!

Wow, this turned out into a looooong entry, way longer than I had inteded ....
I hope I will have the time and most of all energy, to keep writing about other stuff, either today or tomorrow!
Also, don't only check here, but keep an eye on my Swedish blog as well, as I'm hoping to make a number of posts there too.
And the picture blog is as usual updated once a day! :)
Enjoy!

• Cogito, Ergo Sum
  
• Everyday Pictures!
  

Today's Blog Dedication: Though it does feel a bit weird, I'm actually dedicating this blog to myself - for completing this semester in the way I did! :)

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Stephen King
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: RELAXING!!!!!! (and maybe cleaning! *lol*)

Way Too Hot!

I've really suffered from the heat today, I don't know if it's just me, or if it's really been the worse day yet - but I've felt awful!!!
I don't like the heat on a normal day, and now I have to study and stay focused all the time, it's just horrible! Also, I had to keep my balcony door closed all morning, as Zorro made me look like a complete idiot in fron of all my neighbours first thing I got up ... thank you very much!

I have gotten a bit of studying done, but not as much as I had hoped - it doesn't matter wether I sit with the books or not, because my concentration levels are way down! Very annoying, since I really am truly motivated - despite the fact that I'm tired and it's been a very long and intese semester - but I can't seem to get stuff done in this heat no matter how motivated I am!

Okay, enough complaining - sorry guys! I can't change the weather, no matter how much I want to - so I'm just gonna have to do the best I can! They have promised lower temperatures from Monday, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for that!

Not much else to blog about, since my days now are mostly Bible, Bible and oh yeah, the Bible!


Today's Blog Dedication: To my Grandmother (on my Dad's side), who passed away almost 13 years ago. Today would have been her 97th birthday!!

This is my favourite photo of me and my Grandmother. I was unsure of when it was taken, but luckily there was a date on the back, it was taken in August 1983.



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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Theology of the Old Testament, Walter Bruggemann
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 5
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies - and running errands

Okay Mood-Wise ...

I am actually in a pretty good mood, despite the fact that this day hasn't gone according to plan.
I'm sleeping very poorly now, I blame it on the heat ... even though I try to keep the balcony door open as late as I can, I still never ever get under 27 degrees (about 81 F), and the sun starts shining into my bedroom at about 3.30 in the morning ... yay ... not!
My morning was more or less 'not' ... I was completely out-of-it, so I ended up staying home instead of studying at Uni.

I did get a fair bit of studying done, but the annoying part is that everything is taking FOREVER to finish, which makes me feel totally stressed out. I also tend to be very up-and-down when I'm translating Hebrew - when I can't work it out I get super-frustrated and totally upset, and when I do work it out, I'm thrilled beyond the telling of it. No regular levels here! ;)

This afternoon I was running some errands, among other things I was going to a newly opened store a bit north of town ... and it ended up a bummer. We've gotten so many great offers from there, but once I got there, it was completely invaded (and they have been opened for about a week now!), and I couldn't find anything ... so that was an unneccessary outing.

Now I'm home, and hoping the weather will cool off a bit tonight, so I can get a few hours more studying done! Seriously starting to feel freaked out about this exam rigth now, so I'd better just forget about everything (well almost, I have some stuff I will not forget about) and just STUDY like an idiot for five days and hope for the best!

Today's Blog Dedication: Not so much a blog dedication as sending my thoughts and love to a friend who's recieved some really bad news today! I'll always be here for you!! *hugs*

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Theology of the Old Testament
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 5
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES!

Mood: Improved!

My mood has been better today ... though I guess it hardly could get any worse than yesterday! :)
I got up in decent time this morning, and while it's still very hot, I've managed to keep my indoor temperature around 28 degrees - which is better than 30-32, right?! *a little ironic smile*

I arrived at Uni at about a quarter to ten, and was soon deeply involved in translating hymns. Time practically flew by, which I guess is both good and bad. Good in the sense that I didn't feel it was very boring at all - and bad in the sense that everything took forever ... and I don't really have 'forever' to prepare ...

My Hebrew group took their final exam today, and I was keeping my fingers crossed for them, and hoping it wouldn't be a totally horrible exam. Lena had promised to let me know when she finished, and she showed up after a while. She wasn't thrilled - but I still have a very strong feeling she's done really well! :)
A couple of other students showed up as the hours passed, and I still can stop and just be amazed at how well my social situation is going now ... I'm talking to people, and people - other students - are actually stopping to talk to me!! Something that was virtually impossible - and I really, really mean that!! - some two years ago! I will definately have to take some time to reflect on this entire semester after my exam is done ... both here - and I know my Swedish blog will be getting several entries on what's been going on the last few months ... and I'm also planning on setting aside something like 8-10 hours for writing in my regular diary! :)

Anyway, I stayed at Uni studying until about 2.30 ... I was completely exhausted and felt a little down as I hadn't gotten as much done as I'd hoped! When I left I noticed the library will go on 'summer opening hours' from next week, meaning they will only be open 10-2 ... what a rip-off!! Not much point in going to Uni then, I guess ... have to study at home instead ...

I went down to Malmö to meet a good friend - but it turned into a great mix-up ... we met eventually and had a lovely chat ...
I was hardly able to get home though, aparently there had been a fire in a train-set during the afternoon so there were some heavy dealys and I wasn't home until 7 p.m. For some unknown reason, Zorro has been totally calm and quiet tonight - I don't get it!?!? Not that I'm complaining, definately not, I'm just very surprised!
So to honor this, som pictures of my little darling:







I'm planning the last full-day at Uni tomorrow, so I'm gonna try to get to bed soon ... unfortunately - despite the balcony door has been open since I got home - my bedroom feels like a tropical island (minus the beach, the ocean and the lovely drinks!!), so I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to sleep much ....

Today's Blog Dedication: To the Hebrew group I've been studying with this semester, for completing their final exam! *YAY* I really hope you all did very well!!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Theology of the Old Testament, Walter Bruggemann
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 5
Currently listening to: Standing, Once More With Feeling (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
My Plans for tomorrow: Full-study-day at Uni, shopping at a newly-opened store a bit north of town.

A Very Intense Day!

Yesterday was very intense - I had hoped to be able to write a proper blog entry when I got home yesterday, but there was no way ... (not only due to the intensity, but also because of extreme heat, severe headache and an insane cat). I should have studied since something like 4 a.m. this morning - but I have spent most of the time in my diary (won't go into it all here, but there were some personal stuff going on yesterday as well)!

And here I am trying to blog as well! :)

I arrived at Uni at about half past ten yesterday morning, and I did manage to get some translatino done - at least I feel I'm more efficient sitting there studying than here, so I guess I'm gonna have to take the 9-5 days at Uni that I can now.
Around lunch, Sara came by, she'd just finished the very last moment on her very last essay on her very last course at the Theology Depratment - and she got the high grade, VG! CONGRATULATIONS, Sara!!! :) It was really GREAT seeing her, and I hope we can find a time to celebrate when my semester is over too!!

We had the very last lecture at 1.15 - not just the last lecture on the course or during the semester, it was actually the very last teaching lecture this professor will ever have, as he will be retiring in October. And that felt rather special! Also, just before we started, there was some commotion by the door, and in walked the head of the Faculty along with another Old Testament/Hebrew teacher and a few of the academic staff ... they did a little speach and handed over champagne and flowers ... sooo nice! :D It was actually a really nice moment, and I'm very happy to have been a part of it!!
The lecture flew by without me hardly noticing it, and then we had about three hour to kill before our little 'get-together' at 6. Lena and I was supposed to study ... yeah right! We ended up doing way more talking then studying! :)
When the clock started heading toward 6, I started getting some major anxiety (had experienced a little before as well) - but the weird thing was ... well, first of all, the anxiety in itself didn't bother me so much, and I think that was because the second weird thing, namely that I realized I hadn't experienced this kind of anxiety in months!! That is almost an indescribable feeling for me, and it means sooo much!! Truly amazing!!
When we were supposed to meet the other students, we met up with our professor, and then there was a great big mix-up with where we were supposed to be, and how to get there (within the building, but it was still very complicated!) and we nearly ended up getting locked out in a staircase! *lol*

Finally everybody ended up in the right place, and we got to meet the professor's wife, a very nice lady indeed!! They had ordered catering, so a large table full of yummy food awaited us - very nice indeed!! After a while, me and two other girls slipped out to get the present ready ... we bought everything last week, and they had put a lovely looking basket together during the weekend. They had thought of a few words to say, but I soooo wasn't ready for that and felt I really wouldn't cope!! The anxiety that I had dealt with earlier crept up a number of steps!! But instead we decided they would say a few words first, and instead I would be the one handing the basket over. I do NOT like to be in the center like that, but that still felt okay ... somehow ...
And so we did! :) It was a great moment, being able to give him that gift, and we also had a lovely time when we tried to force him to read the card - where we all had struggled hard to write our own name in Hebew lettering! *LOL* For some reason he wouldn't read it all out loud, but he was sure he would "decrypt" it all later! :)

We had a really lovely time, me and Lena left at about 8 - and then there was a great big mess with the trains, so we couldn't leave town before 9.20 (!!) ... so I guess we could have stayed longer ... but we had a really great time at the train station, talking serious stuff and laughing our heads off - more or less at the same time! :) (Despite the fact that an extraordinary amount of fraight trains decided to come along and interrupt us every 3 minutes or so!)
I really have to say I feel very lucky and very greatful for having found my 'place in life', more or less, I keep finding people I get along with, people I can trust, people I can talk to and people I can be open towards! I've never felt that before now ("now", read the last 1-1½ years!), and that is a fantastic feeling!

When I got home, the built-up anxiety along with extreme exhaustion and extreme heat, made me kind of loose it! I felt I HAD to open the balcony door (I had nearly 30 degrees inside!!), but of course Zorro went completely insane, and I became more or less insane too ... and then of course felt horrible about it and burst out in tears!
This ended up with me having to close the door - meaning I had to try to sleep in 30 degree-heat - it did not go well!

That along with the entire day yesterday - and some personal issues that had to be dealt with in my diary - has meant that studies will be done this afternoon and there will be no studying at Uni today .... I feel a bit bad about it, but I still know deep inside that if I hadn't gotten all this out, I wouldn't have been able to focus on studies anyway!

Loooong entry ... just one more thing before I sign off. I (and Lena helped!) managed to take a few pictures yesterday, and I also got some in the mail from Johanna - and I've uploaded them to a Picasa Webalbum. I didn't want to publish them here, in a public blog, without permission from everyone, but if you feel you want to see them, please let me know and send me your email address - and I will send you the link. That way the pictures won't circulate the internet .... You can either contact me by leaving a comment here, or send me an email (my 'official' online email address is: jessiezorro@gmail.com).


Today's Blog Dedication: I have double blog dedications now actually - and they are really for yesterday, but I hope that's okay anyway:

• Sara - for finishing her studies in such a remarkable way! Congratulations!!!!!
  
• Professor Sten Hidal, for completing his last teaching lecture, after 40 years (or 33, depending on how you count, right?!) of teaching. Good Luck with future projects!
  

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Theology of the Old Testament, Walter Bruggemann
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: ---