This week seem to have been the opposite of last week - as in, the week worked out well, but the weekend hasn't felt quite as good.
I am feeling pretty good, generally speaking, right now. I think I'm finding a routine that is working for me, I am trying to sort out a lot of things in my life that hasn't been working out well for a long time and so far, I'm seeing positive results! :)
I can't swear this will last forever, and naturally there are times when things aren't feeling great - but all in all, I think I'm back on track and can make things work out in a good way now.
I'm keeping pretty busy now, but I am enjoying what I do and I think I can make in work. The main thing is my master's thesis of course, which unfortunately were almost put completely to a halt with everything that went on at the end of last year and the beginning of this one - and it feels really good to get back into it.
Aside from that I am trying to follow the Old Testament course where I am mentor. I have "followed" it my previous years as mentor as well, mostly because it makes it a lot easier to plan and lead mentor meetings if you know what has been going on at the lectures, but I have never made an attempt to really follow it - and I think maybe now I do. This is most likely the last time I will have that opportunity so I have decided to take advantage of it, at least as much as possible. There is no way I could find the time to read the literature (especially since it's not the same literature as it was when I took the course), but I have this far attended all the lectures (and I hope I can keep it up in the future as well) and I'm trying to go through the Hebrew text for each day - which is really great! I haven't worked with text in that way in about two years, and I'm enjoying it a lot - and learning a lot as well!
Apart from my studies I am making an attempt at a more healthy life style in general ... I have tried this on numerous occasions before, without much success - I usually try and when I run into the first or second real obstacle I give up ... This time I have managed to hold on it a bit longer than before and while I can't say that I can see an amazing difference, I am noticing little things - and so far they are enough for me to want to keep trying!
All in all, I am feeling really good right now! There are still things I have difficulties with, naturally - some of them are more personal than others.
One thing I haven't managed to get to the bottom of yet is sleep. For some reason I'm not sleeping well at all now, and I haven't for quite a while ... I can't go to bed without being completely invaded by memories of Zorro, which means I basically can't fall asleep. During the weekend I've been able to sleep in in the mornings, but during the week I usually don't get more than three, maybe four hours - and that's pretty rough. I'm not sure why this has come right now, but I guess these things happen, right? It's not quite as bad as directly after Zorro's death - for several weeks I couldn't sleep in our bed, so I slept on the couch - but it reminds me of those weeks now because it usually takes me several hours, and then some, before I fall asleep.
But apart from a few things I have a good feeling inside - which is actually quite surprising! I usually don't feel well during spring time, I tend get into spring depressions and I don't cope with things very well. I guess it's early days yet, but I'm grateful as long as I am able to feel this way, and I will give everything I can to keep it that way.
It's high time I went to bed (as it takes me so long to fall asleep) as I have an early morning and a long day tomorrow - but I'm looking forward to tomorrow's lecture on Exodus 3 - the famous passage where God reveals his name to Moses ("I AM WHO I AM", Exod 3:14, NRSV)! Very exciting!