Sunday, 29 May 2011

Sunday Evening

Oh wow, another week has gone! Time sure flies these days ...

This week was mostly dominated by Old Testament seminars for me. I went to one B.A. Essay seminar Tuesday morning and went through 11 interpretation seminars on the OT course! :) The intensity of those days is immense, but at the same time very very rewarding! Still, I think everyone was tired when we were done on Thursday afternoon! :)

I have to say I felt really sad to see this OT group go (all they have left is a written exam on Tuesday). I have grown attached to all the groups when I've been mentor but for some reason I seem to have bonded a bit more with this group as a whole group ... I think it might because I have actually managed to be at every lecture and seminar this group has had on the second part (i.e. since March 28) ... cool! :) (Though my mentor supervisor will probably be upset as she keeps telling I'm not required to attend lectures so much as she's sure it will affect my own studies *lol*)
Since I've become such an integrated part of this group I think it becomes clearer that this semester is actually over now ... well, basically anyway! I still have a lot of work to do on my master's thesis, and I have a meeting scheduled with the professor on June 16, so I guess I can't say it's "summer holidays" just yet ....

I took Friday off, I was quite exhausted and felt I needed a day off. The weekend hasn't been great though. Yesterday was okay I guess, I managed to get a few things done that needed doing - but I didn't feel well in the evening, and by the time I got to bed, all my thoughts were with Zorro. I get this horrible grief attacks, still, where I basically can't do anything at all, I just feel like I'm going to break down completely!
I didn't get any sleep at all (I dozed in front of the TV for an hour or so), and the thoughts have stayed throughout the day, combined with a lot of other things that at the moment is feeling quite complicated. I have run into some problems with my thesis now, and I don't quite know how to sort that out - this week is really short since Thursday is a holiday and I'm not sure how I will be able to deal with everything ... And I have a few other things that I basically have to fit into this week as well.

What has been most difficult today though, has been Zorro. Once I get into these thoughts and emotions, I can't seem to let go! I try everything (at least everything I can think of), I try to really allow myself to think about him and deal with the grief, but I can't do that forever either, and all that happens is that I feel worse and worse - and then I try to do things, get things done, partly in order to break my thought pattern, but also because I really need things to be done - but I just keep seeing and hearing and feeling Zorro, and I get nothing done ...





I dread the night to come, considering last night and how I've been feeling all day today - and I know I simply have to have an active day tomorrow ...

1 comment:

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