Absolutely Nothing!

This has been a strange day indeed!
I know I've been tired, with the exam yesterday, and all the problems before that ... and I know that I didn't get much sleep last night, but this has almost felt ridiculous!!
I have managed to walk between the TV and the computer and that's pretty much it ... *yikes*

I have also managed to compile a long list of things that I have to do, should do, want to do, so I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow and can get started with that.
I found out that the courses I'm taking this semester doesn't start until 11 September (!!), so there's no panic there, but I have an essay that I need to finish as soon as possible, so I'm hoping to get a lot of work done on that during these few weeks! There's also a lot of practical matters to deal with, I need to get some maintenance guy to look at my bathroom (long story!), I need to do a good cleaning up here, I'm going to try to sell a whole lot of stuff ... and of course keep up my blogs - I also need to kick-start my forums after the summer ... needless to say, I do have things to keep me busy! :)
I hope I can get started for real tomorrow!

I hope you have a great Saturday night!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Predikanten, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Rebus
Currently listening to: Decisions, Decisions - Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
My Plans for tomorrow: Cleaning, shopping and lots more ...

Finally!!

Yes, today I finally got to take the exam, so that part is totally over now - thank you!! :)
There are no guarantees of course, but it didn't feel like a complete disaster, so I'm hoping I will have passed at least! *fingers crossed*

After the exam I met with the student councellor, since there were some uncertainties regarding the courses I will be taking this semester. She fixed everything, of course!! :) Sadly, I found out she will quit at the end of September, because the department don't have enough money to keep her!! I will actually be very sad to see her go, she helped me a great deal when I was coming back from being on sick-leave, she's a wonderful person, and I don't think I would be where I am today if it wasn't for her!! She will transfer departments within the University and work at the Sociology Department (which is next door to Theology), but that's not helping me much, is it?
There's nothing I can do about it, I know that, but I will still be very sad to see her go, that's for sure!!!

I am completely exhausted, and I hope to come back with more coherent entries during the weekend.
Oh yeah, I want to aplogize to all those people out there, whose blogs I regularly read and comment on - things have been so crazy lately, I have not had the time to neither read nor comment your blogs .... I wlil try to catch up (reading as well as commeting) during the weekend!

I've had a wonderful relaxing afternoon and evening, but now I will try to get some sleep, so I can get up at a decent time tomorrow and start my life "after the exam"!!!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Predikanten, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Stargate Atlantis
Currently listening to: Les Misérables, Israeli Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Relaxing, cleaning, generally catching up! :)

The Middle Day!

Today has been very strange indeed!
I was so completely focused on the exam yesterday, that today turned out to be a total anti-climax! I have known I couldn't just "not-study", since I actually have most of the exam tomorrow, but on the other hand, I haven't been able to concentrate at all! *sigh*
It has been very, very hard to know how to prepare for the exam now, when it was pushed forward, but the good thing is: it'll all be over tomorrow!
I hope ...

I can't help but be a bit worried about the practical side of things as well. After all, it was pretty much as bad as it gets yesterday, what might happen tomorrow?! The probability of something going wrong - me getting the wrong exam, for instance! - tomorrow as well, is probably very very small, but I still can't help but think about it.

There are some thoughts to the future as well tonight, what will happen when and how will I try to cope with everything, but I don't really feel like I have the time or energy to go into it right now. I'm also meeting with my student councellor right after the exam tomorrow, so hopefully I'll know a bit more after that.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Det gamle testament, Magne Kartveit
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1 (season 6??)
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: Take the exam - again!! - and hopefully RELAX!!!

Trust No One!

First and foremost - a warning!
I'm completely exhausted and feeling very confused, so if this entry makes no sense at all - I apologize! (If that turns out to be the case, I'll try to make a better one tomorrow!

I find the title of today's blog to be more than acurate - and especially well-chosen since I have watched The X-Files, seasons 1-5 for the last few weeks! :)

Enough beating around the bush!
Today was exam-day, and as usual I was nervous! I did feel more prepared than I had on previous exams, which was good, but there had been some problems reegarding the exam, I emailed tons of people and everything was just weird, so I was rather worried about the practical side of things.
Well, once I got there I was told that there were a few "special exams", and I quickly realized mine was one of them. I found out that I was the only one taking this exam, so I had my own exam in my own envelope with my name on it and everything (Hollywood treatment, almost! *lol*)!
Anyway, I was glad things worked out so well.
Until I opened the exam!!

And now I need to give you some background first (sorry if I'm being boring or if you've heard/read this before!).
The course consists of Genesis, Psalms and a book by an author called Mettinger. Now, I passed the Genesis part on the original exam, and had Psalms and Mettinger left (this does feel familiar, I've probably written about this before ... blame it on my feeling very confused right now!).
And I open the exam and find that the questions cover Gensis and Mettinger!! "I think I speak for everyone here when I say HUH??!"
I hadn't studied Genesis for ages, and I certainly hadn't focused on it!! So much for the practical things working out!

I somehow managed to approach the girls in charge of the exam, but it was not easy - being nervous and stressed out and having anxiety - trying to explain what was wrong and why I wouldn't take certain parts and ... it was a mess! Anyway, one of the girls tried to reach the teacher responsible on the phone!! After a little while she waved me over, now suddenly I was going to talk to the teacher! *panic attack* I normally pretty much hate talking on the phone, and this whole situation did not make things any easier!!
I managed to talk to him, and he apologized and everything - although my prime concern was: What was I going to do??
We finally agreed that I would write the Mettinger-question (there's only one question on that book), but I have to come back on Friday, and by then the teacher have made an exam on Psalms for me ...
*sigh*

I have very mixed feelings about this!
When I was there, in town, during and right after the exam, I was actually in a really good mood. I had feared that something would go wrong, and indeed it did - but I solved it! Without everything turning into a really big deal, with panic attacks and horrible moments, I solved it. I took control, I pointed out what was wrong, and we worked it out.
That was an amazing feeling, actually a very powerful feeling, come to think of it. For most of you, I guess this will sound silly, but for those of you out there with problems similar to my own, you might understand what I'm getting at.
I really felt in control, and thereby also powerful (though not in a bad way). I had the power to do something about a bad situation, I was respected for what I did, and it worked out!
Fantastic!!

When I got home, things were not so great! I had been looking forward to getting rid of this exam soooo much, I had my eye set on a quiet relaxing evening, I had even decided to not worry about my weight and make Tacos for myself, to "celebrate", and once I got home, I realized that wouldn't happen yet for a few days. I know it's not the end of the world, and I know it'll be over by Friday, so it's just one extra day, but it still doesn't feel great.
I'm very fond of the teacher we had, I think he seems to be a nice man and he was a wonderful teacher, but I can't help being a bit upset about him making the wrong exam. We had discussed this through email, and just this Friday (4 days ago), we agreed that my exam would include Psalms and Mettinger. I don't I can't get caught up in this, and I will probably forget all about it on Friday - *lol* - but right now I really wish I could have been able to finish the entire exam today ...

Long and most likely confusing entry ... as I said, this was perhaps not the best time to write here, but I know a few people have been thinking about me and wondering how it went *thanks guys!*
so I thought I'd at least let you know!
I had hoped to update my other blogs as well tonight, but I have no energy at all right now, so it'll have to wait until tomorrow ... I'll need a break from further studies! :)
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Isprinsessan, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Beck - Öga för öga
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: Studying ... again!

Dreading Tomorrow!

This will be a very short post, as I'm - as usual! - stressing like crazy at the moment! I constantly think of more things to do, more stuff to look up etc, and time certainly flies now!
I can say for certain that I am a lot more prepared now than I was when I first took this exam, which of course feels good. However, I cannot for the life of me say that I feel "okay" about this, that I have a good gut-feeling, that I feel in control of what I am supposed to know ... because I feel completely confused. I do know that I know some stuff, but I don't know if I know enough, or even the important parts. I told you I was confused, didn't I??

Anyway, I will probably go on for another hour or so, before trying to get some sleep. And the exam isn't until 2 p.m. tomorrow, so I'll have to start getting ready around noon - meaning I should get some 3-4 hours (at least) work done tomorrow as well!

Not sure if I'll make an entry here tomorrow night, you can safely say that will depend on the way things have turned out and how I feel.

Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Isprinsessan, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: The X-Files, Season 5
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies + hopefully passing the exam!

Realizing The Facts!

Yes, unfortunately I'm starting to realize that it's only one more day (kinda funny for fellow Les Miz-fans out there - although not originally intended *lol*) until my exam! *gulp*
I have mixed feelings about it, actually. On the one hand, I feel like I've prepared more than I ever did last semester, which of course is a good thing! On the other hand, I don't feel like I have a snowball's chance in Hell (*love that expression!!*) of passing the exam!! *confused now*

Ah well ... I guess we'll find out one way or the other after Wednesday! *gulp again*

I hardly have anything to tell you either, as no doubt you know what it is I'm doing throughout the day! Now that the mystery of the vanishing spider (see entries below) is solved, I can't even report on that! :)

Guess I'd better get back to the Hebrew Bible now!
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Isprinsessan, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: The X-Files, Season 5
Currently listening to: Les Misérables, 10th Anniversary Concert
My Plans for tomorrow: DUH!!! Studies!

Mystery Solved!

Just wanted to make a short entry to tell you all The Mystery of the Vanishing Spider has now been solved!
Again this morning, I found him dangling in my shower - this time he was totally occupied with making his web work (he went up and down to test it, I think - I real 'elevator-spider' *lol*), so I found the time to grab my glass and piece of paper.
I really really don't like spiders, and while this one's body wasn't that big, his legs were huge! *shivers* Anyway, I'm guessing I went through a number of phobic-therapy stages when I managed to get the spider down from the web and onto the floor, under the glass with the paper and then onto the balcony. But I did!

Now I have made a promise to myself not to open the balcony door for a great number of hours, giving the little bugger a chance to find somebody else's balcony to occupy (and sneak into their apartment!!)!

I'll be back tonight with a proper entry!

The Mystery Of The Vanishing Spider!

I have discovered I have a houseguest - a very unwanted one ... and also a vanishing one!
Yesterday I discovered a spider on my bathroom floor! Now, as some of you know - *waves to Sara!!* - I am not fond of spiders ... but for some reasons I can't seem to kill them either! So ... I went away to get "supplies" in order to try and get the spider alive and healthy onto the balcony! (clever thing to do is to put a glass over the spider, than slide a piece of paper underneath ... )
I wasn't away from the bathroom for more than perhaps 30 seconds - the spider was gone!! It was not huge, but it wasn't exactly hyper-small either, and I didn't fancy it showing up in my bed or something, so I kept looking. But the spider remained gone, and I couldn't spend all day looking for it.
I started talking myself into accepting that it had found it's way out, or down a drain or something. Until this morning ... when I found it dangling from the bathroom ceiling!! I didn't really know how to get it down from there, but I still headed out for my "supplies", to try to help it to the balcony this time. Again, I wasn't away for many seconds - when I returned : No Spider!

I hearby declare: The Mystery Of The Vanishing Spider!

I really don't like the idea of him running around in here, but at the same time I realize there's nothing I can do about it now, and I have actually kept myself from being totally consumed by this. At least tonight I'm taking a very detached position and I actually find myself sitting here wondering when and where he'll turn up next! *lol*

Long entry about absolutely nothing! Guess that depends on the fact that nothing at all happens here - and probably won't happen either until I'm done with the exam. It's Hebrew and Psalms and weird Norwiegan books all the time now!

Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Isprinsessan, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Beck - Pojken i Glaskulan
Currently listening to: Hello, Young Lovers - Philip Quast
My Plans for tomorrow: Big surprise: Studies!

Carpe Diem!

I actually thought about something this morning, and I immediately felt I should include this in my blog-entry for tonight. (Therefore the title)

Carpe Diem - Seize the Day

I have felt pretty good the last few days. Minor things have not worked out well, but overall, I have felt good, I have felt satisfied with the way things have been and what I have done. That is something very rare with me, and when I started digging deeper in this, I reached a rather surprising conclusion.

Almost all the times I have felt good and things have worked, I have not really allowed myself to truly feel good!! I have always had in the back of my head, a distinct thought saying: Sure, you feel good now, but that never lasts, you know it never lasts, so you can't take anything for granted now - just because you feel good now doesn't mean things will work out.

And that is simply put, a load of crap!!!!!!
It's true, mind you - good feelings have a tendancy of not lasting too long in my life, but that shouldn't stop me from enjoying myself 100% on the rare occasions that they actually do!!
The more I thought about this, the more upset I became!!
I think it is very important to be able to enjoy and almost 'take advantage' of times when we are allowed to feel really good, when things are working out and we feel satisfaction with our lives - wether this has to do with love, children, work or whatever.
But fully enjoying these moments and really treasure them, we gather strength and energy that we need when things are not so great lately!
I don't mean we should be naïve and start taking things for granted - beacause there are certainly no guarantees in this life - but we should at least allow ourselves to treasure and take care of the happy times we get!!!

Sorry about preaching, but this is something I feel very strongly about, and I was quite upset when I started realizing all this!!

Apart from this massive thought process, I have spent most of the day burried in Hebrew texts. I haven't done as much as I felt I should have today, but I have been very tired for most of the day. I still have three whole days - and a few extra hours on Wednesday morning (the exam isn't until 2 p.m.) - so I'm hoping I will at least be able to study enough to pass without any major problems.

One bit of positive news as well - I finally figured out what to get my Mum for her birthday! It's coming up in a couple of weeks, and I always think it's very difficult to come up with a good present! But something struck me today, that I think she will be really happy about!
(Sorry, I can't tell you what it is - because I have a feeling I then would spoil the surprise for someone! )

Take care guys!
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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Namnet och Närvaron, Tryggve Mettinger
Currently watching: The X-Files, Season 4
Currently listening to: Les Misérables, London December 2005
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies, Hebrew, Studies, Psalms, More Studies, More Hebrew ...

4 Days Counting Down!

Today I finally heard back from my teacher at Uni! It was somewhat complicated, but apparently I'm going to be able to take my exam on Wednesday afternoon, and it was great to finally set a date!! One thing was not great though ...
When we took the exam it was divided into three parts, which were graded individually. We were offered to take oral exams if we'd failed (but I wasn't up for that), and if we did, we only had to take the part/s we had failed. I passed one part (Genesis) but failed the other two (Psalms and a separate book).
Since I was going to take this exam now in August I thought I was going to take the whole one - including Genesis - I didn't expect any "special solutions" for me, just because I'd happened to have passed Genesis in May. Well, aparently I am the only one taking this exam now, so the teacher will make one just for me ... and then I don't have to take Genesis, just the other two parts! That in itself is great of course, less stuff to learn, but I have spent the better part of three days getting through Genesis now!!! So it does feel like I've pretty much wasted all this time, which is a bit tough of course!

But still ... most things about this is positive so I shouldn't complain!
Even though I'm stressing a bit, I'm happy the exam is already on Wednesday, because the new courses don't start until sometime around 2 september, meaning I get some time to relax and prepare for the semster!
It also feels really great to actually know what's going to happen now. I know how and when and where I will take the exam, and that helps me to be able to focus even more!

So despite a little bit of negativity (wasting all this precious study-time), it's been a good day.

I have been sleeping very poorly lately, and I'm really tired now, so I'll try to get some sleep on the couch and try to get up at about 3 a.m. or something (I'm usually more productive in the mornings anyway), that should at least give me 6 hours sleep (which is about 3-4 hours more than I have been getting these last few days!) ...

Take care, guys!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Drakguldet, Jan Mårtensson
Currently watching: The Simpsons
Currently listening to: Pilutta-visan (Madicken), Astrid Lindgren
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES - what else?