Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Trust No One!

First and foremost - a warning!
I'm completely exhausted and feeling very confused, so if this entry makes no sense at all - I apologize! (If that turns out to be the case, I'll try to make a better one tomorrow!

I find the title of today's blog to be more than acurate - and especially well-chosen since I have watched The X-Files, seasons 1-5 for the last few weeks! :)

Enough beating around the bush!
Today was exam-day, and as usual I was nervous! I did feel more prepared than I had on previous exams, which was good, but there had been some problems reegarding the exam, I emailed tons of people and everything was just weird, so I was rather worried about the practical side of things.
Well, once I got there I was told that there were a few "special exams", and I quickly realized mine was one of them. I found out that I was the only one taking this exam, so I had my own exam in my own envelope with my name on it and everything (Hollywood treatment, almost! *lol*)!
Anyway, I was glad things worked out so well.
Until I opened the exam!!

And now I need to give you some background first (sorry if I'm being boring or if you've heard/read this before!).
The course consists of Genesis, Psalms and a book by an author called Mettinger. Now, I passed the Genesis part on the original exam, and had Psalms and Mettinger left (this does feel familiar, I've probably written about this before ... blame it on my feeling very confused right now!).
And I open the exam and find that the questions cover Gensis and Mettinger!! "I think I speak for everyone here when I say HUH??!"
I hadn't studied Genesis for ages, and I certainly hadn't focused on it!! So much for the practical things working out!

I somehow managed to approach the girls in charge of the exam, but it was not easy - being nervous and stressed out and having anxiety - trying to explain what was wrong and why I wouldn't take certain parts and ... it was a mess! Anyway, one of the girls tried to reach the teacher responsible on the phone!! After a little while she waved me over, now suddenly I was going to talk to the teacher! *panic attack* I normally pretty much hate talking on the phone, and this whole situation did not make things any easier!!
I managed to talk to him, and he apologized and everything - although my prime concern was: What was I going to do??
We finally agreed that I would write the Mettinger-question (there's only one question on that book), but I have to come back on Friday, and by then the teacher have made an exam on Psalms for me ...

I have very mixed feelings about this!
When I was there, in town, during and right after the exam, I was actually in a really good mood. I had feared that something would go wrong, and indeed it did - but I solved it! Without everything turning into a really big deal, with panic attacks and horrible moments, I solved it. I took control, I pointed out what was wrong, and we worked it out.
That was an amazing feeling, actually a very powerful feeling, come to think of it. For most of you, I guess this will sound silly, but for those of you out there with problems similar to my own, you might understand what I'm getting at.
I really felt in control, and thereby also powerful (though not in a bad way). I had the power to do something about a bad situation, I was respected for what I did, and it worked out!

When I got home, things were not so great! I had been looking forward to getting rid of this exam soooo much, I had my eye set on a quiet relaxing evening, I had even decided to not worry about my weight and make Tacos for myself, to "celebrate", and once I got home, I realized that wouldn't happen yet for a few days. I know it's not the end of the world, and I know it'll be over by Friday, so it's just one extra day, but it still doesn't feel great.
I'm very fond of the teacher we had, I think he seems to be a nice man and he was a wonderful teacher, but I can't help being a bit upset about him making the wrong exam. We had discussed this through email, and just this Friday (4 days ago), we agreed that my exam would include Psalms and Mettinger. I don't I can't get caught up in this, and I will probably forget all about it on Friday - *lol* - but right now I really wish I could have been able to finish the entire exam today ...

Long and most likely confusing entry ... as I said, this was perhaps not the best time to write here, but I know a few people have been thinking about me and wondering how it went *thanks guys!*
so I thought I'd at least let you know!
I had hoped to update my other blogs as well tonight, but I have no energy at all right now, so it'll have to wait until tomorrow ... I'll need a break from further studies! :)
Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Isprinsessan, Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Beck - Öga för öga
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: Studying ... again!

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