A Good Weekend!

I have to say this weekend has been really good - it has been a great way to wind down after the last few tough week and a good preparation for what lies ahead!

Friday was really slow, once I got home. I did absolutely nothing, which felt wonderful, and I think I really needed to just let go of everything!

Saturday morning I spent cleaning the apartment, which was a MESS! I also managed to do some grocery shopping, and start checking a bit on my essay, before Lena and Tobias came. This was the first time I met Tobias, and it was really nice they had the time to come by for a little to eat before the movie. It ended up being a lot of movie-talk in general, as it is a common interest! :) And of course, Zorro joined in the conversation! *lol*
Then we went to see Quantum of Solace, which had it's ups and downs. As usual, I have a very hard time knowing what I think of a Bond movie until I've seen it a few times, but I'd say I reacted more or less as I had anticipated - something were good, some were not so good ...
I have made a review of the movie (see below) for those interested - but it might contain spoilers if you haven't seen it.

For some reason, I was completely exhausted this morning, I had such a hard time getting started! I had slept fairly good (at least by my standards), but I guess most of the stress and anxiety of the last few weeks started catching up with me once I started relaxing. It took a long time before I was up and about properly, but I managed to send out a bunch of emails this morning, went for a walk, and have worked on my essay this afternoon.
I have finally started actually writing something, when it comes to the essay. I still have major boundries and feel insecure about a lot, but I have written (as a first draft of course) most of the "Introduction" part of it ... so I have gotten almost 2 pages ... I guess that's something, right? I also have a few concrete areas listed that I need to check up on, in order to be able to complete it ... I know I have fallen way behind on the essay, but at least now I'm finally feeling I have started it, so at least that feels good!

Tomorrow starts a new intense week and a new intense course! We have lectures Monday through Friday - starting a course on the Gospel of Mark - but I don't think I have anything else planned for this week yet. Tomorrow I'll stay at Uni studying, and hopefully I'll catch up with Lena as well, and then we might have a mentor meeting, though I'm not sure if we're having it since we're just starting this course. I know I'll have tons of studying to do, so I'm not complaining about "only" having lectures. Apparently we're gonna have to go through one chapter every single day - and I checked the Gospel of Mark: the shortest chapter has about 25 verses, which is okay ... the longest chapter has over 70 verses ... you have one day to prepare 70 verses?!?!?! *yikes* On top of that, I also have to really work on my essay, otherwise I'll never get it ready in time ...
Guess this weekend was the only none-stressing time I got this semester, huh?!

I'm actually quite tired, so I'd better head off to bed early tonight.
Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Förfalskarna, Olov Svedelid
Currently watching: Die Another Day
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, meeting Lena, studying

James Bond: Quantum of Solace!

I went to see the new James Bond movie, Quatum of Solace, last night and here are my initial thoughts on it! And please remember ... my initial thoughts! I tend to need at least three or four viewings of a Bond film before being able to make a proper assessment of it!
!! Spoiler Warning for those of you who haven't seen it !!

As of now, I felt that Quantum of Solace was quite uneven. Some things were really good, while others didn't impress me at all. I appologize if the review seems confused, but that is bascially because my impression of the movie was rather confused.

I really like the fact that it picks up right where Casino Royale left off!! Casino Royale did end with a cliffhanger, and it was great to see that cliffhanger picked properly! I also have to say I like the basic storyline - going after this very powerful organization nobody's heard of and know nothing about takes me back to the early days of SPECTRE ... and that is just to my liking! :) Also, the motive of Bond being almost a rogue agent is appealing! It has been done (or tried?) before, in Licence To Kill, (and to a certain degree in the beginning of Die Another Day) but I have to say this time, it's way better!
I also enjoy the fact that it is a true agent-story - we never loose that perspective which is really good. Since Bond really is on the verge of crossing the line, the questions of what happens when a secret agent goes over to the other side (since it appears that's what Bond has done) is really dealt with here, and dealt with in a very realistic way ... except for maybe one thing: Would the head of MI6 really travel around the world to check up on agents? In this movie we see M on at least two locations, and while I really enjoy Judi Dench's performance, is that really realistic?

Moving on to not-so-greats. My first impressions of the main title and the title song was: Terrible! I'm sorry to say it, but it didn't feel "Bond" at all to me! I wasn't thrilled about the main title in Casino Royale either, but I really like the title song - here, none of them appealed to me.
Also, while I think the action-and-fight sequences are impressive, without a doubt, they are much to long for me! I can't help but get the feeling the movie has come in short, so they have to add as much fighting, car chasing, boat chasing, chasing on foot, as they possible can, just so the movie will be long enough! Like I said, it is impressive, but when it goes on for too long, I just get bored with it ...Daniel Craig does make a nice James Bond, even though I wasn't quite comfortable with him at the start. There has been a trend of making Bond more "human", going back all the way to Timothy Dalton in the late 80's, but I think it's basically Craig that can pull it off ... Pierce Brosnan did a pretty good job of it in Goldeneye, when he ended up fighting his life-long friend Alec Trevelyan, but the opening of Die Another Day - which also was supposed to show Bond's more vulnerable side - didn't sit quite right with me. But Daniel Craig does bring something to the part when it comes the human side of Bond - very impressive!

I am less impressed with the "Bond girls" (yeah, I know it's not politically correct to call them that these days, but it's just old habit ... sorry) - to be frank, I didn't get the sense of their characters at all. Bond's first meeting with Camille (Olga Kurylenko) just felt very confusing, and even though we later on got some insight to her character, she felt rather flat to me. The other lady, Fields (Gemma Arterton), didn't make much of an impression either - although her part was rather small. I did like the way they portrayed her death - nice homage to Goldfinger!!

Dame Judi Dench as M is wonderful as ever! While keeping her in this "new" series does make things confusing, she certainly fits the part and does an amazing job with it! I also enjoyed seeing
Giancarlo Giannini again, once again a nice look-back to Casino Royale.

As of now, I don't want to make some definite statement on the movie, as I have to see it more times before - but like I said in the beginning: It felt quite uneven. Some things really good, some things, not at all so good.

Taking The Day Off!

Yes, I had my Greek exam this morning, and have since then taken the day off!!
It feels absolutely wonderful to simply do nothing, without feeling bad about it! :) I know it's this day and this day only, but I have enjoyed it a lot!

The exam ... what can I say? Well, I'm basically as sure as you can be that I passed ... if nothing completely unforeseen happens and I have all of a sudden forgotten all the Greek I have learned.
Apart from that - things are a bit complicated. I haven't sorted it all through in my head yet, and to be honest, I'm not sure I feel up to writing about it in a public blog, but some things doesn't feel quite right. It's nothing major, and I don't think it will have long term implications, it's just personal thoughts and feelings. I'm hoping for diary session, either tonight or tomorrow morning, to hopefully sort most of it out in my head at least.

I met Lena after the exam, she had her New Testament exam, and we managed to catch up with each other and went for well deserved coffee afterwards - nice!! I haven't seen her in a long time, so it was great catching up again!

And since I got home, basically nothing! :) I've been sitting in front of the computer, reading a bit, watching TV ... done absolutely nothing! And to be honest, I think I deserved it. Starting tomorrow, it's full steam ahead again, but I have truly enjoyed this relaxing day.

Tomorrows plans ... well, I'll be cleaning my apartment - as always it's a complete mess right after an exam - and do some grocery shopping. At 6 p.m. Lena and Tobias will come for a little something to eat, and then we're going to see the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace - yay!! I'm really looking forward to it, even though I'm still getting used to this kind of "new" Bond-series thing, I was confused to say the least after having seen Casino Royale back in 2006!

I really do hope I can gather the energy to write a little in my diary tonight, but I guess I'd better get started before it gets way to late.
Take care!

Pic of the Day



At long last, the Pic of the Day is back! Another lovely ocean picture, I really like this one ... for some reason, the water was really low when I took this photo, otherwise I had never gotten the shoreline the way it is here.

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Förgörarna, Olov Svedelid
Currently watching: Stargate Atlantis
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Cleaning, shopping, meeting Lena & Tobias, movie

Greek Confusion!

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this entry at all, since I'm big-time confused and rather nervous about my big Greek-exam tomorrow morning!
I am happy to say I have suffered only minor headaches the last few days - YES!! - and I am more than grateful for every moment I'm not in pain any more!

While I wasn't 100% effective yesterday, today has been completely focused on Greek with only minor breaks in between. And yet I am totally confused now!
I think this is the first exam where I have been so completely insecure about what is going on, what will be expected of me, what level the exam will be on and how I will be doing! I usually have a pretty good "feel" for written exams, but this time I'm clueless.

Our teacher assured us yesterday, at the last lecture, that the exam was pretty "kind" - he want to test us on the basics, but will skip the more difficult exceptions. I like that, I think it's reasonable and sound and good in any way ... but I can't help but not trust his statement completely. I have felt before as well, that he doesn't want to "scare" us that things will be too heavy, so he keeps telling us it's no big deal, it's not that difficult, it's not so hard to understand etc. when in fact it's really complicated. And now I can't help worrying that the exam will be the same ...

I also feel very insecure about my own knowledge and how prepared I am! I am the first to admit that Greek has come fairly easy for me, I "get the system" of the language, and even though I've missed a whole bunch of lectures during this course, I have managed to pick it up again, and I have never felt really lost, like I did the first time I took Hebrew. And that's good ... but on the other hand, I feel like I'm mixing everything together, like I know the stuff when I can look it up, but I'll never know it by heart ...
All very confusing!

I know there's nothing I can do about it, except try to get as much time for studying as possible and hope for the best - but it still bothers me that I feel so confused about all this.

There's a rumour going around we'll have a true winter storm during the night, so I'll probably have to get up even earlier than usual tomorrow, to check up on the trains! I usually want to get in a little early for exams, but if there's a chance the trains will be delayed or even cancelled, I have to get up in time to check it properly! I usually set my alarm to 3.50 a.m. ... now I'm thinking at least 3.30 ... There are regular trains in the morning, but if the weather starts causing trouble, there's no telling what will happen to the trains ... I've been checking them tonight, and there are no delays yet - but a lot can happen between now and 7 a.m. tomorrow morning!

I'll try to run through some more verb forms tonight before getting at least a few hours sleep.
Wish me luck tomorrow, will you?! :)
(And Good Luck to Lena too, she's having a New Testament exam in the room next to where we're taking Greek! :) )

Back From The Weekend In Hell!

Hello again!

Sorry for the lack of updates here recently, things certainly haven't gone my way lately.
I have been in a four-day-long migraine attack now, which has meant a lot of bad things for me personally! First of all, I missed Lena & Tobias' wedding!! *sobbing* I was soooo happy to get an invitation, and I had really been looking forward to it - even though I was nervous as well ... and my migraine started on Friday afternoon and on Saturday morning - the wedding day - I couldn't even get out of bed!!! I know these things "happen", but that doesn't stop me from feeling really upset about it! ;(
Secondly, it meant I kind of screwed up my essay seminar!! I was supposed to spend the entire Sunday working on my essay, in order to prepare for the seminar (it wasn't that big a deal, but we were supposed to give a rather detailed presentation of the outline of our essays, and also be able to comment on the other student's in the seminar), and once again: migraine! There was no way I could get any studying done, I was lucky if I even made it to the bathroom - well, almost anyway!
Yesterday, I went to the Department early and spoke to my Professor. I had felt a little better when I woke up, but once at Uni the migraine came back with full strength. I told him what was going on and that I wasn't prepared at all, but that I'd still try to attend. He was very understanding, which felt great, but my migraine kept getting worse and worse.
The seminar started with trying to work out the opposition schedules for the end of the semester, in mid-January, and that turned out to be way more complicated than expected - and I think I got a pretty bad deal there (but I don't have the energy to go into that now, more on that later on), and by the time we were supposed to start our presentations, I was so far gone with migraine I could hardly hear what they were saying.
In speaking to my professor, I had sort of thought I'd be excused from actually participating in the seminar, and while they didn't "demand" I comment on the other students, it became obvious I had to at least give my own presentation. You know, the one I was supposed to have prepared the day before and hadn't... I actually didn't have a single note on my own essay, so the fact that I spoke at all is pretty incredible to me. Now, I was more or less semi-unconscious, so I have no idea whatsoever what I actually said - or if anybody understood it - but at least I explained why I was so out-of-it so I hope they understood ...

I stumbled home as soon as the seminar was over, and at times like these I really hate having to travel to and from Uni. In effect, it took me 1 hour 15 minutes to get home, and with that severe a migraine, it felt like it took forever. I spent the rest of the day eating pills and staying in bed, and actually, the migraine subsided, and during yesterday evening I could actually walk around the apartment with only a "normal" headache!

This morning, I felt the headache a little, but it was definitely manageable, which felt great! We had Greek lectures at 8 a.m. and yesterday (when I missed the lecture since it collided with the seminar), today and tomorrow, we will mostly repeat difficult moment, there are rooms for questions etc. and therefore we don't have text to prepare ... which meant all my anxiety was gone! *Yay!* While I'm thrilled about not having anxiety (duh!!), I'm still seeing very clearly how difficult this demand for a "performance" within the group is for me ... and I definitely think that's something I need to work hard at changing - somehow!
Anyway, lectures were nothing since I didn't have to worry about anything, and straight after that we had a mentor meeting! I haven't been to a lot of them *oops* but this one was very rewarding. Our mentor gave us a text, which were similar to the kind of text we will get on the exam, and we aimed at translating it, mostly working in pairs. It worked out really nicely, and I'm quite happy with the meeting.
After that, I went downtown, bought a few books (mostly for the next course) and some lunch, before going back to the Department. I think I got in about 3-3½ hours effective studies in the library, which felt really nice, before it was time for the last lecture of the optional essay-course at 4.15. I really like these courses, there are only 2-3 students (!!!) and a wonderful teacher, so you get SO much out of these lectures!! We talked about opposition today, which was very good for me, as I'm in a true state of panic about that! I got some very good guidelines and hints, but I'm still kind of panicky! Still, I have to wait a little while longer before going insane about something that will take place in mid-Janurary ... right!

The hint of a headache I felt this morning, disappeared during the day, and now I'm feeling on top of the world!! For the first time in what feels like forever, I AM NOT IN PAIN!!! It's just amazing!!! I've been in a tremedous mood all afternoon, and I have energy levels I didn't think possible, after having spent 12 hours away from home! *YAY*

I'm glad I'm back blogging again, I really hope I can keep it up this time! *fingers crossed* With this, I'd also like to say
I AM REALLY SORRY
for neglecting my friends, both online and in real life. I have completely been ignoring Forums and Messages Boards and Blogs, I have been short or practically non-responsive to my friends and those around me lately, and I really am sorry! I guess you know I have a reason for it, but I still can't help but feeling bad about it. I really don't want to ignore any of my friends and those close to me, you are all very special to me and I'm greatful for having the relationships I am now ... so I really don't it to seem like I don't care!
While the next few days to the exam on Friday will be intensly focused on studying, I really hope I will be able to be more pleasant to the people I care about in the future!

Take care everyone!

In Constant Pain!

Well, apparently these last two weeks of the first part of the semester isn't going to be easy for me. Now I'm basically back on track emotionally (sort of, anyway), but instead I'm battling constant headaches. I have them when I wake up, all through the day (in varying degree) and I have them when I go to bed. The only problem is that most of the time they are bad enough for me not to be able to study - which is NOT GOOD when I'm under so much pressure!
I really am trying every trick I can think of, and nothing seems to work! *deep sigh* I'm now on the third day - which isn't that much really, last fall I think I went something like 13 or 14 days in a row, the only problem now is that I don't have the time for it!!
I'm making priorities as it is right now, to make things work, and I'm prioritizing more than I'd like to, so I really don't have time to spend like 5 hours a day trying to make my head at least function on a basic level!
*frustrated and a little sad*

Things are, as you have probably understood, very intense now. I'm having trouble knowing how to deal with what - and that is made even more difficult when I'm constantly in pain - and I keep making plans and decisions all the time, only to realize I have to change them over and over again ... which makes for a very confusing life right now.
Mostly, the Greek is confusing, because I feel I need to prepare texts for the lectures we have, but I'd rather study for the exam (as these texts we're doing now will not be on the exam), and I know that the exam is more important (because it IS an exam!), and yet I have a hard time coping with not being prepared on lectures ... there have been one major incident and a few minor in regards to this and I really have a hard time dealing with that ... Still, I cannot ignore the fact that I have a huge exam in a week - maybe I should start studying for it!?!?!?!? *frustration again*

I realize this entry doesn't make much sense, blame it on the fact that I've slept 3½ hours, had a rather long day with a constant headache ... and there you go!
I am sorry I'm keeping everything so vague these days, it's not usually the way I blog, but first of all, there are issues I haven't resolved fully myself yet, and then I simply cannot bring myself to write about them here, and second, I am very confused right now, and I don't know what is the best thing to do - in many situations! And trust me, spelling it out for you and giving you all the options I'm struggling with, would be even more confusing! :)

My head is almost co-operating now, so maybe I can at least try to get a few hours studying in ... even though somehow I doubt it ... right now the headache is under control, but I do know these headaches by now, and I know that as soon as I try to concentrate the least little bit, it will return with full force ...
Anybody got any nice suggestions for headaches, I'm happy to listen! *desperate* I am however not too desperate, so nothing to fancy, okay? No acupuncture (which has been suggested by a fellow student) and definitely absolutely NOT a doctor ... but any simple home-cures .... ?!?
Thanks in advance!

Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Död i ruta ett, Olov Svedelid
Currently watching: Stargate Atlantis, season 1
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lecture, studies, errands, another lecture

13,000 Visistors!! And Hectic Times!

Wow, 13,000 Visitors!! Thank you all so much for reading my blog (despite my absence now)!! :)
Also, I have added a feature which you can see in the right column, called Follow this blog! Please feel free to use it, and it helps you keep track of my blog, and it helps me to know who keeps track of my blog! :) A Winner For All!

Moving on to more practical matters ... as I have some hectic days coming up now. I basically hope I can survive until November 1st, when I should be able to take a well-earned relaxing holiday - I hope! I know I haven't written here in ages, so I thought I'd give you a little insight to what is actually going on these two weeks. I guess it's not over-the-top, but since I haven't been feeling great, I get tired a lot easier and things usually take longer to finish.
But here we go...

Tomorrow I have lectures (Greek) 8-10. Right after that there is a mentor meeting (which I would have liked to attend, as I have been to very few), but I am meeting my Greek teacher then, for a bit of a run-through of the latest grammar. Since I haven't been doing so great the last few weeks, I feel I have missed some things, and he agreed to take a while after lectures and run it by me again ...
Then I'm meeting Lena at Uni, she has a group exam in her New Testament course, and it's nice to be able to catch up when we're both at the Department at the same time! When I come home, I have a few errands in town that I have been putting off, and I'm definitely hoping to get them done tomorrow! *fingers crossed*

On Thursday I think I "only" have lectures in the morning ... which means I should be able to get home early and get a lot of studying done. *fingers crossed again*

Friday will be a long day. Greek lectures 8-10, and then I'll probably be working on my essay in the library. At 4.15, the professor I had in Old Testament Hebrew (twice!) will give his last lecture at the Department, and I really want to attend. He's one of the better teachers I've had, and it will be a loss to the Department that he won't be teaching anymore - but I'm very much looking forward to his lecture, I'm curious what it will be about!
Anyway, that will mean I'm not home until quite late ...

On Saturday is the Wedding!!! Lena and Tobias are getting married on Saturday, and guess who's invited as the unofficial photographer? *gulp* It's going to be wonderful to be there, but I can't help being a bit nervous. I've only attended one wedding in my life, and that was 15 years ago! And I also actually turned down a wedding invitation from a friend a few years ago, when I wasn't feeling so great ... so yeah, I'm pretty nervous. Will be fun doing a lot of photographing though! :) I'm definitely not a pro in any way, but I enjoy it a lot, and hopefully I'll be able to get some nice shots of the happy couple!

And then things get a bit tricky ... becuase I know I'll probably need some time to wind down and calm myself down after the wedding (things like that always require some "recovery-time" for me, even though I'm doing way better than ever before), and the problem is I don't have that time. Sure, Sunday, but I cannot take Sunday off, because on Monday morning, I have this major essay seminar which I'm in a complete state of panic about!!
I have neglected most of the work on my essay and what I have been doing on it just feels silly and stupid and not something that will ever work out. I have had a few previous bad experiences with essays that didn't get written, and I think that has stuck in my mind, because it seems absolutely impossible for me do work this out. And presenting some of it as a seminar is NOT something I'm looking forward to, especially since everybody is going to have oppinions, you're supposed to bascially defend the parts of your essay you are presenting - SCARY!! I also know that the two professors leading the seminar are very demanding, which I really like ... I'd rather have that than a professor who doesn't care ... but demanding professors also means a LOT more criticism - and I do not take even constructive criticism well. *gulp*
I will be missing a Greek lecture on Monday too, because the lecture and the seminar collides ... but I cannot miss the seminar, so I'm just gonna have to live with it.

The rest of that week is bascially Greek lectures Tuesday and Wednesday, one or two mentor meetings - which I HAVE to attend!!! - and then the huge exam on Friday morning (8 a.m. through 1 p.m.).
And after that, I have a feeling I'll be more dead than alive ...

Yep, that's my "come-back-entry" ... here's what's going on right now, and hopefully I'll be able to sort it out ... I'm not saying everything has to be perfect, but a lot of things now need work if the consequences aren't going to be too dire.
I need to go to all the lectures that are left ... (except the one I'll miss because of the seminar).
I need to at least make a decent impression on the essay seminar, to feel I have any chance of ever finishing this essay.
I need to pass the Greek exam, otherwise things will be very complicated.
And I really want my two "personal challenges" - which is the retirement lecture on Friday and the wedding on Saturday - to work out for me. I know that I'm probably oversensitive when it comes to things like that, I tend to notice things nobody else notices etc. - but I need to feel pretty good about it for my own confidence. Fact of the matter is, the most important thing is how I feel about the things I'm doing, not how everybody else reacts ...

Long entry ... I think I'd better head back to my Greek grammar now, so I'm prepared for tomorrow! :)
Take care!

Pic of the Day:


I just got this sudden craving for ice cream - and what better than to make this the pic of the day! :) It was taking on an outing this summer, and it was the first time I had seen "I" eat ice cream on her own! :) Cutie!

Blog Dedication:
To Lena, whom I know is struggling to make things work out right now! Hang in there - you'll make it work in the end - I have every confidence in you!


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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Död i ruta ett, Olov Svedelid
Currently watching: The X-Files, season 4
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Lectures, meeting with the teacher, meeting Lena, running errands, studying

Where Do I Start?!?

Well, where do I start?!?
First off with an apology for not writing here for over a week! *GASP* How did this happen?!?
As you know, I haven't been feeling very well lately, some things happened that made my life take a complete nose dive, and it's been a bit hard picking up the pieces after that!
Last week was basically okay, but rather strange, and I never quite worked up the energy to blog about it. It was very confusing, trying to work out what had happened, how to move on, some strategies I applied didn't work ... well, generally confusing!

Now I have to other choice but to actually make things work - don't much like that scenario, because things tend to go wrong anyway, but this time they simply have to work out, so fingers crossed! I have two very tough weeks coming up, with a lot happening, and pretty much everything has work out, otherwise more or less everything will collapse.

I had a pretty okay day today, though it was rather intense, and I ended up with a pretty bad headache that it took about 5 hours to get rid of. Now I'm hoping for a few hours of studying before bed ...

I will try to get back to you with an update on what's going on, and what lies ahead this next two weeks, but for now, I'd rather get some studying done first. I'll try to make another entry later tonight or tomorrow morning - because if nothing unforeseen happens, I am back on blogging-track now! :)

Take care!

[No Pic of the Day this time, sorry ... maybe in my next entry!]

A Difficult Entry!

As you may have known, I haven't updated this blog for a while now ... I am not feeling very well at the moment, and that makes it hard for me to write or talk about what is going on publicly.
I did feel the need to make this blog entry though, partly just to let everybody know I'm still around, but also to take this opportunity to tell you why I haven't been online much lately (apologies to Forums, Message Boards and Blog Owners for my absence).

I think this blog is a good way to give these kind of "explanations", even though it might seem a bit rude to my friends and those close to me - I have a feeling they'd rather I actually talked to them about it, but I find that very difficult! I can usually speak about myself and my problems, but I need to have gotten a personal distance to it first, know myself what is going on and why, how I am reacting and why, and what I can do to fix it and to prevent it from happening again. And I haven't quite gotten that far yet.

I don't want to go into specifics, not yet and not publicly, but certain "issues" have come up that has made it difficult for me to handle my everyday-life. What I find very difficult - I don't know if it's like that for everybody or if it's just me - is the fact that once something really bad happens, I tend to need so much time and space and energy that it will have severe consequences for everything in my life, and then these consequences just adds to my problems! If I experience something very difficult, I need to more or less put my entire life on hold until I can deal with that (and we're talking psychically, or emotionally very difficult here) ... unfortunately, life doesn't allow it. Instead my dealing with one problem leads to several other problems, and when I try to deal with them, even more turn up.

I have experienced some similarities to the spring semester 2007, which was a real terror for me, when I was more or less constantly in a depression. I'm far from feeling as bad as I did then, and I do have confidence - knowing the things I do from that experience - that I will be able to sort this mess out somehow ... but an alarming amount of thoughts and emotions from that time seems to manifest themselves with me now - and naturally that has me worried and makes me feel bad.

Like I said, I have confidence I will work this thing out, but I don't know how yet, not how to practically work out the practical problems I have encountered, and not emotionally, working out the emotional problems I have.
As for this blog, there might not be updates every day, but hopefully I will be able to pop in every now and again, and I'm hoping for daily entries again when I'm feeling better.
As for those people close to me, I hope you can understand and respect what I'm going through, and if I am a bit on the quiet side, or won't talk much about myself, I hope you will accept that. It's not that I'm doubting you or don't feel I can talk to you all, but I know myself that I cannot talk about personal things with others, until I have figured them out myself ... and as of yet, I haven't ...

I know this entry is very vague and not very alike my other entries, but after reading it, I hope you all understand why. I will deal with this, but because I am a very "thinking" and rather inward person, I need to deal with it myself first ...

My Best Wishes For A Great Weekend For Everyone!

Pic of the Day:

I had a lengthy conversation with my Dad yesterday, naturally about my adorable sisters, who apparently are growing a lot now. Therefore Pic of the Day will be one of my favourite scraps of them! :)

Such An Intense Day!

Today has been a very confusing and very intense day, and I can hardly keep my eyes open now, so it'll definitely be an early night for me, that's for sure.
Most things today has turned out really well - as oppose to the last few days or so, when I haven't been feeling all that great - but it has still been a lot of things that have affected me emotionally, and that draws a lot of energy from you!

We had lectures this morning ... it was okay, I suppose. There was once "incident", no panic or anything, but it didn't feel all that great. It didn't affect me nearly as much as it would have a year or two ago, but it still felt a little uncomfortable.
After lectures, I tried gathering some thoughts on my essay, as I had a meeting with my professor about that. A few other students came up and talked to me, and I know I'm repeating myself like a broken record, but I'm SO happy things are working out the way they are at the Department!

I met my professor at 10.15, and I have to say I'm very impressed with him. He's always in a good mood, always has a very positive attitude, and I think what's most important to me is that he is (at least he seems to be and I have no reason to doubt him!) genuinely interested in what you do. I mean, this is a professor who has worked with this stuff for God-knows how many years - feels like he should have "seen it all - heard it all", but he takes an interest in what you do and how you think about things.
Most of all, I got some great help for my essay. It really helped talking things through with him and I got some great advice on how to move forward and what to do next, which was exactly what I needed!

Then I was supposed to get a ton of errands done, all over town ... and I ended up getting none done!! It was quite frustrating actually, as I had planned for it, and had set aside time for it ... guess there's not much to do about it, but at least one thing will be tricky to work out now - and naturally that was the most important one ...

When I got back to the Department I placed myself in the library with the ambition to work on the 20 (at least!!!) sentences we were supposed to prepare for tomorrow ... and I was completely unfocused! I had a headache that turned worse by the minute and I felt totally out-of-it. A friend who also takes Greek now came and talked for a while, but unfortunately that didn't cheer me up much this time - I had so much on my mind, and just felt confused about everything.
A professor in the New Testament showed up, I had him on two courses last semester, and I think he's really nice. We ended up having quite the conversation about essays, Greek and Hebrew, various courses and such, and it was really nice!! Since I want to continue with post-graduate studies eventually, it's wonderful to be able to talk and be fairly relaxed, not only to students but also to teachers and professors!

I should have stayed at Uni for the optional essay-writing course between four and six, but there was no way I could cope, so at 2 o'clock I gave up and came home ...
I've been feeling completely out-of-it ever since I came home ... not really sure why I've been this tired, because even though it has been an intense day (and note I'm not quite comfortable writing everything in a public blog, so reading between the lines make you realize a bit more actually happened).

I also found out that the professor of Old Testament that I have had twice in Hebrew, and like very much, will be holding his last public lecture in a matter of weeks. He's retiring now and will make this one "his goodbye", I suppose. Ever since I found out we would be giving it I have wanted to go, and now I finally found the time and date for it!
Unfortunately, it's tied in with everything else - I guess there's no surprise everything will come at once, right?
Soooooo, on 24 October I will attend his lecture (which is late in the afternoon). On 25 October I'm going to a wedding. On 27 October we have our big essay-seminar, which I'm in total panic about. On 31 October we have our (pretty HUGE) Greek exam .... *gulp*
I wonder how I will live through that week? ;)

Anyway, since I'm more dead than alive right now, I'd better try to get some sleep, if I'm going to survive tomorrow!

Take care!

Pic of the Day:


A lovely night-time photo from the ocean, where the birds are all settling in for the night.

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Guds bok (The Book of God), Walter Wangerin
Currently watching: Family Guy
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lectures, running other errands, studies