I'm really going through hard times, so I'm sorry if this will be yet another totally depressing entry. Things around me really seem to fall apart, and I'm not sure what I should do to make it better ... or if in fact there IS something that can make it better.
The situation at Uni is really awful right now. Not perhaps so much the practical aspects of it, but my own personal and emotional aspect of it is really terrible at the moment. I can NEVER EVER relax, and I walk around with a constant high-anxiety-level!! For those of you who have experienced anxiety-problems, you know what an enormous strain it is when you go through an attack ... and these days my attacks never stop! They escalate until I'm at Uni, then I go through Hell when I'm there and as soon as I leave the anxiety for next day's lectures are there. It's really awful, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!
I'm fighting like crazy to be able to keep Uni going, but this also means that I let everything else go - and things don't work that way in life, do they? No matter what, you need to cook, and clean, and do dishes and do laundry and go shopping! All of that is more or less being put on a hold now, which means I feel bad for not getting that done ..
In shot ... it feels like my entire life is collapsing around me and I can't save it no matter what I do!