It Feels Hopeless!

Yesterday was a really terrible day, I couldn't bring myself to write anything here at all. It was one of those days when nothing won't work and nothing gets done and as the hours pass you feel worse and worse ...

Today has been a bit better, I have gotten a fair bit of studying done, and during the breaks I have been working on my little 'project'. But it still feels hopeless... This semester has been wrong from the start, and as things are now, I can never do enough. If I think I have put in a really good day's job studying, what I have gotten done is but a drop in the ocean compared to what I am expected to know at the exam. I know that all I can do is keep it up, do the best I can and hope for the best, but it's very hard to find any kind of motivation or energy.
Just an example to illustrate better ... for instance : a large part of this course I'm taking now is translating parts (verses) of the Hebrew Bible into Swedish ... unfortunately you can't always go by the Swedish Bible to "correct", because the new translation from 2000 has gathered a number of different Hebrew Handwritings to cover as much as possible ... thereby saying that the Swedish Old Testament is not a direct translation of the Hebrew Bible.
Translating takes a lot of time, not only do you have to worry about grammar and stuff like that, you have to look up pretty much every single word ...
So, say I stay really focused for maybe two hours, by then I'd say I have translated maybe 20-30 verses ... and I'm expected to translate (and more or less know by heart) about 250 verses ... plus two books .... Is there any point whatsoever?!?!!?
I mean, I won't quit now, obviously, but it is sooooo difficult to stay focused and motivated!! Now all I have is tomorrow, the exam is on Wednesday ...

I guess I'm trying to really get used to the idea of me failing this exam as well, because I honestly think that is what is going to happen. It does constitute some problems though, it has to do with the application for next semester's courses, about recieving my student loan money ... etc etc.

I know there's nothing I can do except try my best and see what happens, but since I'm a born brooder, I have a hard time letting go ...


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