Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Not A Chance!

At least that's the way it feels right now!
I have spent most of today studying, but the more I do, the more I try to accept the fact that I will fail tomorrow! Not a great prospect of course, but I am a realist and I'm pretty sure that's the way it's gonna be!

It's actually been very hard to deal with this, on a different level than I had expected. I'm feeling confused more than anything, which I doesn't really make sense! I should feel sad or upset or disappointed or mad ... but I am confused. One minute I seem to deal with the fact that I'm failing, I feel I have a good strategy lined up for next course, I feel confident that I can make a go of it - and the next minute I'm completely down, feeling absolutely horrible about this whole mess and getting really depressed .... so confusing pretty much covers it ...

I have a feeling I will feel somewhat better - or at least less confused - tomorrow, because at least it's over by then! Even if I have failed, it's a fact, there's nothing I can do to change it, and that way it will probably be easier to deal with ... I hope ....

Moving on to something slightly more positive!
I'm gathering strenght for the weekend, as I am about to do something I have never done before. I have recently discovered a Swedish crime-author called Camilla Läckberg - I read her first three books in about three days! :) She's really good and her fifth book has just been released in Sweden. She's touring around the country signing her books, and will be nearby on Saturday, so I'm hoping I'll be able to get her book and get it signed!!! I've never been to anything like this, I have no idea how it works - which of course adds to my anxiety - but I hope I'll be able to do it ... *gulp*
Anyone out there who has been on these kind of things - feel free to give me a hint?! :)

Take care!

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