Will It Ever End??

I guess I know it will end eventually, even though it certainly doesn't feel that way right now. On top of everything else I've caught a cold, so today I've not only experienced a sore throat but also a headache and fever ... thanks a lot!
I need all the hours I can get to study if I'm going to have the slightest chance of passing my exam on Thursday, but I can't get studying done with high fever, I just can't concentrate at all when it feels like my head weighs about 40 kilos and everything is spinning around ... *sigh*
But I don't know if I can cope with having to take two exams in late August ... I really really really hate everything about my life right now.

~~ Countdown: ~~ 4 days, 15 hours to freedom!! (or at least to something better than what this is!!)

Including some of my latest digi-scraps. The last one is a Swedish song, which at least my older sister probably knows pretty well. I will make an attempt of translating it for those of you who don't read Swedish, but I must warn you that I'm not great at these kind of things (anyone reading both languages have a better translation, feel free to let me know!):

Hold me and give me comfort in my life
Support me and give me the truth
Lead me when I am in doubt
Make me free and let me grow strong






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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Olycksfågeln by Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Millennium Season 1
Currently listening to: --
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES ... *sigh*

Better ... sort of ...

I have had a better day today, of which I am greatful of course, but I can't for the life of me say that any day is good now!! Things are mostly very, very, very tough and confusing and hard and terrible at the moment. But at least no disasters are occuring yet, so that's something, right?

Seriously though, I am now counting down, not only days, but also hours, minutes and seconds until this semester will be over!!
I spoke with my friends today, regarding our picnic. Some changes (why am I not surprised??) but at least it seems to be happening now, and that's the main thing after all. Though we have not yet come up with an emergency plan, should it rain *oops* (one of my friends reminded me tonight) ... Guess we shall hope for sunshine and celebrating-weather, and should that fail, I'm sure we'll come up with something ... :) No matter what I really hope I'll be able to see them something before I go up to the summerhouse. I will try to come down here for a week or two during the summer as well, so I hope I can spend some time with them than as well!

As usual I always feel like I should have studied A LOT MORE, so I'm gonna head off to bed now, to hopefully get a fairly early start tomorrow. After all, it's no more than five days left now ... guess I'd better put in all the hours I possibly can!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 5
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES - what else?

Another Really Bad Day!

Today has been the kind of day where everything that could possibly go wrong, has done so! I really really hate those days!!
The studying isn't working out at all, which is a worry - there are several other problems/issues I'm trying to deal with and on top of everything else I've gotten a really sore throat! I sincerely hope it's nothing serious, and that it will pass soon, because I have neither the time nor the energy to try to go and see a doctor and whatnot ...

Oh yeah - one bit of good news though! I had thought of inviting two friends from Uni (same ones I had dinner with a few weeks ago) to CELEBRATE the end of this semester, after the exam, but we've been having problems finding a time that will suite everybody. One of the girls called me last night with a great idea!
After the exam (and our other friend, who's taken other courses this semester, has an oral exam about the same time as ours), in the afternoon, we will have a picnic with wine and cheese and stuff ... sounds totally great!!! I just REALLY hope there will be weather for it ... not that much fun having a picnic in the rain! :) It's something I'm totally looking forward to, so I'm hoping it will work out!

Having stuffed myself with pills trying to make my sore throat hurt a little less, I'm feeling very sleepy now, so I think I'll try to get some sleep! Hopefully my throat will be better in the morning! Good night!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: Cleopatra (with Timothy Dalton, and most importantly, Philip Quast!)
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: Well, what do you think? STUDIES ....

Blog Information!

This is an information post regarding my blog. I will repeat this post every now and again, giving everybody an oportunity to read it.

As you may have noticed, I am careful not to mention names in my blog, as I feel strongly about people's privacy and integrity. I sometimes feel, however, that the blog feels sort of impersonal when I always use initials, or refer to people in other ways.
I certainly don't want to make anybody uncomfortable, but in this post I'd like to say that if there is anyone out there among my friends and/or family that feel it's okay for me to use your names, you can take this oportunity to let me know! (Either by leaving a comment here - you can also send me and email or give me a call or whatever)

I would like to point out that I'm definately not forcing anyone into anything - privacy and security is very important to me, I just wanted to see if there are some of you who wouldn't mind seeing their names here on occasion! :) Naturally, I won't say anything incriminating (of course!!), it would only mean that I use your names instead of initials, or just refer to you as "friend" or something like that.

Like I said, I will repeat this post every now and again, and give people the chance to read it, think about it and get back to me.
I will of course continue in the fashion I have now for anyone who don't get in touch with me.

Another minor note - I have listed my blog on the BlogTopList to hopefully get even more readers! You can vote for my blog there, there is a small button to your right a bit down (under 'Getting Visitors') to vote - you may vote once a day!

Thanks for taking the time to read this!!

Getting Things Done?

Yes, I think I have actually had a slightly more productive day today ... yay me!!
I've been doing some clearing up, done a lot of laundry and actually have gotten some studying done ... not too bad, right? :)

I still feel very anxious about the exam though, because since I failed the last one I feel an enormous pressure to pass this one ... it won't be easy if I have to take both of them this fall, that's for sure!
Also, I'm kind of panicking about my essay not working out ... I know I should just let that go and start dealing with it after the exam, but once a thought is stuck in my mind, it's very difficult to get it off my mind ...

As you might have noticed in previous entries, I have started trying out digital scrapbooking. I'm still very new at it, and I'm not quite sure how it works out, so I thought I'd show you the ones I've done so far and let you tell me what you think.
Feel free to make a comment on your favourite/s, and/or constructive criticism ... I welcome any opinions! :)

Here we go!
(Just click on the image to see a larger picture!)





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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: The Simpsons
Currently listening to: Prologue - Les Misérables 2005 Cast
My Plans for tomorrow: Studies, studies and more studies!

My New Toy!

Yes, it arrived today - my new toy! *lol* Have to say I'm surprised it arrived so quickly though, the seller must have sent it before he recieved payment!! *gasp*
Anyway, I'm totally happy about it, and I have already fallen in love with my new little toy! It took me a few annoying minutes to get my sim-card out of the old phone and into the new one, but then it was full steam ahead! :) Didn't take me more than ten minutes or so to work out where to find the camera function, so quickly I had Zorro as a background image!

Speaking of Zorro - here he is, enjoying the freedom of a fenced in balcony! Seriously though, he enjoys it a lot and spends most of his time there screaming his head off at various creatures, such as birds, dogs, spiders - anthing he can catch sight of! :)
Today it's not made that big a difference having the balcony door open, since we've had over 30 degrees all day! *SIGH* I don't like it when it's that hot, and no oxygen whatsoever in the air so it's an effort to do the least little thing. I'm guessing this was created by the huge thunderstorm that kept me and Zorro awake for most of the night!
I just hope tomorrow will be better.

Well, not much news otherwise, I'm counting the minutes until this semester is finally over, but it looks like everything that can go wrong at the moment actually does - so it's hard to keep a fighting spirit, that's for sure!

Take care!
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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Stenhuggaren, by Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: The Return of the King
Currently listening to: --
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES - and laundry

Horrible Start of this Week!

Yes, this week did not start out great, that's for sure!
I was going to visit the place where I used to 'work' during my sickleave this morning, to sort out a lot of things regarding my essay! The trouble started on the way there, when I was that close to hitting a rabbit!! I've NEVER killed an animal while driving, although I've had my licence for over 10 years now, but this was WAY to close for comfort! It darted out just in front of me, and I hit the brakes as hard as I could. I still can't say what would have happened, if the rabbit hadn't sensed the danger and actually turned around and lept back instead of continuing across the road - because for that split second, my mind didn't know wether I would be able to break in time, or end up in a ditch ....
Very scary!!

Problems continued at work, when it turns out the lady I really needed to speak wasn't there. It's way to complicated to try to describe everything here, but in the long run, it looks like I won't be able to finish my essay during the summer like I had intended. I can write large parts of it, but I can't complete it until I can visit work more, with regular visits and also talks and interviews with people who aren't there now. In effect though, this means I won't be able to get a passing grade on my essay until January 2008, and it was really due this past January (2007) ... *sigh* I hate putting things off like that, I just don't know what else to do right now ....

After work I was going shopping at a large mall, which I had been looking forward to. On the way there, I came across two cats fighting eachother in the middle of the road! I saw them in good time, so I had time to slow down and nearly stop and try to scare them - but I met a car that came round a corner at high speed ... I tried to warn him by using the horn and my lights, but he never even looked at the road since he was far to busy being upset at me!! Gee, sorry for trying to save some lives!! Luckily, the cats made it though.

When I arrived at the mall, I had a throbbing headache, but I had quite a few errands to run, and after that I was going to another mall for even more errands. After noticing that the headache was getting worse by the minute, and that all I tried to do turned out completely wrong - I didn't find what I was looking for, I bought a gift for one of my sisters only to realize she already has that exact same thing (way to go!!!) ... the list could go on!

I couldn't take it anymore, so I just went home - I'll have to go back some other time ...

Now the problem is figuring out just what to do when!! I had a really fine plan worked out which included studies for the exam next week, working out stuff with the essay and generally getting things done in preparation for the summer - and now it feels everything is turned upside down and I don't know what to do ....

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading:
Currently watching:
Currently listening to:
My Plans for tomorrow:

Heavy Week Ahead!

Today has been spent doing minor stuff that needed to be done; apart from studies I've written a few letters, cleaned up a bit, sorted through a lot of laundry and stuff like that.
I have a heavy week coming up, and I can't say that I'm looking forward to it one little bit. There's my studies of course, I need to visit "work", working a bit on my essay from last semester, do a lot of shopping, I have errands to the bank ... etc etc etc.

One thing is for sure, I will be overjoyed once the 7th of June arrives (that's when I have my exam). There are so many things in my life that are truly awful, and have been awful for a very, very long time now, I just can't wait for this semester to actually end so I can start working on some changes in my life! There's no point in starting something now, I just have to try to survive and get as much studying done as possible in hope of passing the exam, but I can't wait for the time when I can actually do something about everything that is wrong in my life now!!

I thought back and since about the 25th of January I think I have had maybe four or five days where I've felt okay and/or good, the rest of the time has been pure Hell ... so I guess it's no wonder I am really exhausted now ....

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: The Two Towers
Currently listening to: ---
My Plans for tomorrow: "work", shopping, studies ...

New Phone!

First off, the good news! I've bought a new mobile phone! My old one has been acting a bit weird lately, so I've been checking up on some new ones. They are horrible expensive though, I found one I REALLY liked, a Nokia 6103, but it costs about 1500:- - 2000:- ( ~ $220-$300), which is quite a lot!
By chance, I checked the Swedish auction site Tradera, and to my big surprise I found one there for about 800:- (~$115), it was almost new and the seller would include it being sent by registered mail! I know it's still a lot of money, and I'm usually not exactly rich during the summertime, but I just couldn't help myself! *lol* So I bought it ....
I'll be transfering the money on Monday or Tuesday, but I hope I'll get it by the end of the week ....

This is about the only positive thing in my life at the moment though, becuase it seems this semester will end in the same way it has been the past few months, with me feeling terrible and everything being a huge mess.
I'm really struggling with myself over this, because I really HATE how things have become, and I feel terribly upset because of this ... and at the same time I try to convince myself not to be that upset, but instead focus 100% to pass the last exam, accept the fact that things are the way they are - and try to make some changes when the exam is over.
In short - everything is VERY confusing at the moment ....

To finish off, a digi-scrap and a graphic. Enjoy!



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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Currently watching: Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Currently listening to: Master of the House - Les Misérables Israeli Radio Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES

Decisions, decisions!

Things are really getting to be very confusing at the moment...
I have a lot of decisions to make and in each and every one of them it feels like I loose no matter what I do. Not fun!
I know this is the last of this semester, it's only about two weeks to the final exam and I have to give my all to make a go of it. As usual it's not quite that simple though ...

This whole semester has been a huge great mess, and it's getting more and more aparent that the end of it will be the same! It seems like things are getting more and more confusing, and I'm sort of forced into making decisions I don't really want to make.
I guess what I am trying to say is that at the moment I really don't feel in control of my own life. There are always other issues and other people and other problems that in some way forces me to act and make choices I feel I have no control over. And that's a pretty awful feeling!

I have all the motivation in the world to try to change things after this semester, I have some plans of new approaches for the summer and at least now I'm feeling hopeful they will work out. But that still leaves these coming few weeks, and fact is, I need to get through them without everything collapsing!

Sorry about the not-so-fun blog entries of late, I hope that I can come back with more positive entries later on - although I have a feeling that will be after the exam is done ...

Take care!

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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Predikanten by Camilla Läckberg
Currently watching: Fellowship of the Ring, cast commentary
Currently listening to: nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: shopping/window-shopping, cleaning, studying.