Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Alternate Realities!

Actually, I want to continue my somewhat crazy and incoherent discussion about alternate realities from yesterday.
And yes, I am deeply disturbed by TV, and react to the term "alternate realities" by thinking of Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... where there are some discussions about this! (I do like to think Anya and Willow sent Olaf the Troll to the alternate reality without shrimp! *lol* - sorry guys, only funny to other Buffy maniacs! )

Already straying from the concept here ... I am really tired and very confused and I still have a cold and on top of that my hormones are running wild and I have severe stomach cramps, so please be patient with me, okay?! :)

I do feel like I exist in an alternate reality now though, a sort of parallell universe, that exists next to the 'real' universe. In my reality all I can see is Hebrew letters, and stupid Norweigan books, and exam-anxiety and stress and sadness and a filthy apartment and resentment toward everything. It really feels like I'm stuck in all of this now, and I have no chance whatsoever to get out of it until the exam is over. I know it's not that long left (which means that I'm stressing even more ...) and I guess I'll get through this as well, but it's a very creepy feeling to sense that you are somehow outside the real world ... (sorry if I sound like a crazy serial killer or something ... )
Yesterday I had to run some errands downtown, which really meant going out into the "real world" even if it was only for an hour or so, but I still couldn't connect to that world, it was like I was only 'visiting' there, I wasn't really supposed to be there.

I have a feeling this sounds a lot more depressing than it actually is, because even though I'm going through a really rough time now, I can see the end of it, and I have faith that things will change come Thursday morning - I'm not saying my life will be all great from than on, but at least it will change, I won't be stuck in this horribly destructive way of living that I am right now ... but the feeling of being disconnected to the real world and actually living in an alternate reality is very apparent to me right now.

I really wanted to include some graphic or scrap or photo or something so this blog wouldn't be completely boring, but I haven't had the fainest bit of energy to do anything other than trying to study as much as possible today ... so that'll have to wait I'm afraid.

Only one more whole day left ... That is just SO wonderful!! I hope I won't be completely dead tomorrow, because I really need to get through some stuff as a last hope for the exam tomorrow, so I hope I can feel a little bit better than I have done tonight.

Take care, guys!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: Bones ... no clue which episode or even which season, but it was on when I turned on the TV! :)
Currently listening to: --
My Plans for tomorrow: What do YOU think??

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