Saturday, 9 June 2007

An Intense Ending!!

Okay, better late than never - the ending of the semester was very intense, and it's taken me a while to really come to terms with it, and also the fact that the semester is over now, and what that means.
But now I'm ready to share the last day of this semester with you! :)

The exam started at 9 a.m. and although I was nervous, I had pretty much adopted the idea that I would go in there and do my very best, but if it wasn't enough, I'd have to accept a failing grade as well. I was so tired of this whole mess, that the most important thing was to just get it over and done with!
I think that some parts of the exam was rather difficult, some translations didn't make much sense and ... ah well, no point in thinking too much about it now. I have found it difficult to try to 'assess' the exams this semester, I don't get that feeling of "yeah, this felt okay, I have probably passed" or "oh no, this was impossible, I have failed for sure!" that I normally do. To summarize - it could go either way. I could have passed, I could have failed, I can't honestly say now. Good news is, the exams will be ready on Tuesday, so I will have time to pick them up before going up north to visit my families!!

I had made arrangements with my friend Johanna (who's been taking the same courses) to go shopping for our picnic after the exam, so we decided to wait for eachother. I wasn't quite sure on the exact planning but our rough-plan was to go shopping after the exam, than Johanna and her boyfriend Per would go on a "class-picnic" together with the others who took these courses this semester. Since I have had trouble and problems this entire semester, I decided not to join them, but instead I would wait for our friend Sara and her boyfriend Martin (Sara had an oral exam). The three of us (me, Sara & Martin) would start our picnic after Sara's exam, than Johanna and Per would join us later on (after the 'class picnic') ... actually, it sounds even more confusing now than what it felt, sorry about that! :)

Anyway, I left the exam at about 11 and waited outside for Johanna who turned up a while later. The whole area was filled with students and since I still have some problems with social situations, I felt I was kind of tense and had somewhat of a hard time relaxing, although the exam was over. We decided to wait for Per before we went shopping, but when he turned up there seemed to be people to talk to everywhere. After a while we were able to go downtown, but we didn't have that much time, since Johanna and Per would gather with the others at 1. We got most of the shopping done (the only thing left was for me to pick up a few packages of fresh strawberries to feast on!), and than I went up to "our" department to wait for Sara. She turned up pretty quicky, she'd passed her oral exam! *yay* (congratulations again, Sara!!)
We picked up Martin, who waited outside and went to the Botanical Gardens to start our Celebration picnic!! It was very hot (I don't like that very much) but we were all in high spirits, and when we had settled down and had the first toast (let's just say we had enough wine to go around, that's for sure ... and Martin had brought beer as well ...), I found out that Martin had just gotten the high grade on his Bachelor Thesis - *congrats, Martin!* - so we had to celebrate him as well! :)

Despite the heat, and the fact that I was somewhat tense still, I had a really good time. The social situation for me has been more or less non-existent for so long, I really feel I'm starting to change that now, starting to find people I like, people I am comfortable with, people I can be relaxed around - it's absolutely wonderful!!!

It didn't take us that long to feel the effects of the wine/beer either - I had been tense all day and I think Sara was rather nervous about her exam, and the heat did it's effect as well. Pretty soon we were all (except maybe for Martin ... ) in the giggle stage, and by than Johanna and Per arrived - adding to the fun!!

After a few hours Sara realized she'd forgotten to return some books to the department library - and one to her tutor - and she wanted to get rid of them before the department closed. Johanna and I volunteered to go with her and ... well ... let's just say it was a new (and maybe not so great) experience to be drunk around your University Department ... *oops* Although I don't think I have ever before laughed so much while being at Uni ... *lol* Some minor incidents though; we were going to return the tutor's book, he sits on the third floor, and while both Sara and me dislikes elevators, we decided to go this time. First off, we ended up on the second floor, and just as we'd gotten back into the elevator, Johanna accidently pushed the Alarm-button!!! Sara decided to walk the rest of the way! :)
Oh, and later on, Sara and I lost Johanna after we went to the bathroom ... We did find her later on though ...

We went back to the "boys", and aparently Johanna and Per were going to have a barbeque later on in the evening. I felt that I had had quite a day, so I really didn't feel up to joining them. While I had had a great time, the whole business of 'socializing' like this is still very new to me, and I think it takes some time to get used to it. I'm still very proud that I did what I did during this day becuase I think that I wouldn't have only six months to a year ago actually. That must mean I'm making progress, right?! :)

I went home at about 6 p.m. with somewhat mixed emotions. I was thrilled to realize that this semester HAD ENDED at last, I was happy about how the afternoon had turned out, I was exhausted beyond the telling of it, I experienced being .... shall we say 'affected by alcohol' (*lol*) "in public", I have not been that before, at least not to this extent!!
Included in my mixed emotions were also the fact that an old "problem" had come forth again, for the first time in a very long time! This is one of the few things I am not comfortable discussing here, so I hope you'll forgive me for being a bit vague here. I had done my very best to completely repress this whole thing, and naturally it had to be actualized on this particular day!

To try to summarize ... I'm sooooo happy and soooo relieved that this semester is over, and I am very happy about how the last day turned out! I can't say that everything was perfect, because it wasn't, and I wasn't feeling 100% all the time, but overall, it turned out to be quite a good day!

Actually, it feels strange to head north now. I'm really looking forward to seeing my families, and my little sisters, again, I love the summerhouse, but it somehow would have felt almost natural to stay here and keep "hanging out" (which is something I don't think I have ever really done ...). But I will try to plan at least 1 week, maybe 10 days, to come down here during the summer, and "hang out" with my friends! :)

Wow - a loong entry on the last day of the semester. I guess it deserved a long entry, being so intense!

Not much else to "report" here - I went shopping a little yesterday, and now I'm mostly trying to sort things out; cleaning, laundry, packing, preparing for the trip, planning the summer etc.

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien)
Currently watching: The Return of the King
Currently listening to: A Journey In the Dark (Lord of the Rings Soundtrack)
My Plans for tomorrow: Cleaning, packing, laundry ... slacking, TV, computer! :)

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