Friday, 15 February 2008

*~* YES! *~*

I have actually had a really good day today, where pretty much everything has worked out really well! Those days aren't that frequent with me, so I am truly greatful when I get to experience them ... and I do realize that my blog mostly has had a negative tone to it before - so I'm trying to make up for it now, by really telling you that I am in fact feeling really good right now!

We had Hebrew first, and this time I actually was a bit worried at first. It was kind of tough at home this morning and I did have anxiety! I think it mostly comes from the fact that we are currently moving into the areas where I had major problems last semester, where I misesd about 4 or 5 lectures and felt really awful! I have actually gone back and read my diaries from this time last year and it's really terrible! The anxiety screams to you from every page and I do have a hard time just reading it now! I think that's where my current anxiety comes from, even though I know that I have changed a lot ... but a lot of stuff are the same as well: it's the same sentences, the same "read-translate-analyze"-thing, the same teacher, the same litterature ... so I do feel anxiety now as well ...
It has not reached the point where I'm doubting wether I'll go or not, which is very good, and I know pretty much what to use in order to reduce the anxiety that I do have.

Once I got to Uni this morning, things somehow really improved ... I'm always there first, but my friend Lena arrives pretty soon after me. When she came this morning, she was looking rather tired, while I was in a great mood and actually sang a little song to welcome her! *LOL* For some reason she didn't quite improve! :D
I am nervous when it comes to reading and all of that, but I'm also realizing more and more, that there is no big deal to make mistakes, and a lot of people in the class aren't that great at reading ... so I really should worry if I don't feel I'm "perfect" in any way. I think this goes back to last year as well, I always felt like I was the worst possible student, I knew the last, I made the most mistakes etc. which made me feel very exposed and vulnarable ... but that's not the case now! I'm far from the "best", but that's perfectly fine with me ... I just don't want to be the who always makes the stupid mistakes - but I'm really NOT!!

After the lecture, like last Friday, our teacher said he'd go for coffee at the Sociology Department and I think that is a really lovely gesture and I love the way it allows students and teachers to interact on equal grounds. Often it's very clear boundries - they are the teachers, we are the students, but fact of the matter is, in the end, we're all human beings, right?! Lena didn't want to come, she'd brought coffee and wanted to get a headstart studying ... this made me really stop and think! Last Friday we'd both gone, which makes me feel like I kind of have "safety net", since I know her so well ... now what? To my great delight I could both in front of myself and in front of her, say that I wanted to accompany our teacher for coffee instead - and I did!! In all honesty, it wasn't that hard to make that decision, but when it really comes down to it, I think this was a rather big thing for me. I don't know how to quite put this, but I've always been a "follower" rather than a leader, and always done what everyone else does ... so in this case, to "go against" Lena and do "my own thing" is pretty big, I think ... and it makes me kinda proud too! :)
We had a lovely coffee break; me, our teacher and four other students from the course!!
Afterwards I spent about 1½ with Lena, going through some Hebrew grammar - I had missed some things during the week and she'd missed some other things ... so it felt good to go through it before the weekend.

I was home at about 1, and had a wonderful 1½ hours-nap which was GREAT!! This afternoon I went out for a walk with my "new" camera, the first time I've really taken time to do that! We've had a wonderful day today, cold but sunny and fantastic!! It turned out to be quite a lot of photos - so you're actually only getting a selection of them! (some other pictures as well!)
I hope you enjoy them!!

Tired Zorro on my couch!
Cute while he's sleeping, right?! :)

This is me, obviously! *lol*
I had my camera with me to Uni (doesn't happen that often!!) and Lena wanted to try it! Looks really terrible, but I guess my fellow students survive with having me around! :)

Ran into a lovely looking swan on my walk today!
Think he (she?) was looking for a feed though ...

Various photos from my walk this afternoon! I love the sharp contrast between light and dark in some of the pictures! It wasn't really as dark as it looks, but since the sun was so sharp, I guess the camera compensates!

And finally - my SUNSET!!! Looks great, doesn't it?! :)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Bible (2nd book of Samuel so far)
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 3
Currently listening to: Les Misérables Israeli Radio Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Heavy studying, and cleaning my apartment


Mr Tias said...

En del fina bilder där. :o)

Mina egna planer för morgondagen blir att städa här hemma. Sedan kanske jag ska försöka komma iväg till SATS om jag orkar (tränade i dag). På eftermiddagen ska jag spela strategispel och på kvällen ska jag på vernisage.

Du får lycka till med städning och pluggande.

Jessica said...

Tackar - blev själv rättså nöjd med bilderna! :)
Låter som du har en rättså full dag planerad du med ... känns som jag har VÄLDIGT mycket som jag borde göra ... vi får väl se hur mycket som verkligen blir gjort! *hehe*

The Darkest Night said...

the sunset photos are amazing! :)

Jessica said...

Thanx - I was kinda happy with how they turned out! :)