God knows how I'm going to write anything about this week that makes any kind of sense, because it's been absolutely insane. Some things have not been that great, other things might be good maybe and some things are really really good. Did I mention it wasn't only insane, it was also confusing?! :)
I guess I should get the bad news over with right away and try to focus on the positive - that sounds good, right?! :) I did have an exam this week that for various reasons did not work out at all. I feel really uncomfortable about pretty much everything regarding that exam so I hope you'll forgive me if I don't go into detail here.
Now for the rest ... which is confusing! Apart from the exam - that I have to take again at some point - I'm writing two essays this semster (Old Testament Exegesis). One is rather small, covering 1/4 (25%) of one semester - I guess you'd call it a first level thesis. The other one is a master's thesis, which is quite huge, it covers one semester's full time studies! *yikes*
On Wednesday I occupied two professors (one in Old Testament Exegesis, one in New Testament Exegesis) for over an hour trying to figure out what to do with my master's thesis. The problem is, the Swedish University system is going through some major changes, and I've gotten completely caught in the middle, so I'm the only one at the Department writing a master's thesis (in any of the Theology subjects) right now. They had no idea what to do with me, where I was going to present it - but it turned out, I'm going to attend the seminar where the post graduate students present parts of their dissertations ... *whoa and yikes!!!!* I'm glad their moving my thesis "up" instead of placing it with the Bachelor's thesis-students, but still ... yikes!!!
After that I had a discussion with my professor about what I'm going to focus on, and it seems my first level thesis will be about Job, and my master's thesis will be about the Covenant! :)
Then there are some internal problems on the Department, so I was quite busy during Thursday and Friday running around to different professors and assistant professors and student counsellors, trying to figure out in which seminar to present my first level thesis ...
I got it all figured out like 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon, so I've been completely exhausted since then!!
This week has had some severe downs and some amazing ups, and I'm mostly feeling very confused right now! The exam is a biiiig down, as I have to take it again and this semester looks intense enough as it is! And naturally, having to run around trying to figure out everything hasn't been that much fun either!
But, there are so many great things as well ... I'm really making a name for myself in my own subject now, which is great since that's what I want to continue doing! When it comes to Old Testament, all the teachers/professors know me, by name, which is an AMAZING feeling for somebody who's felt shut out of the entire society for a number of years!!! And I know a few professors/teachers from the adjoining subject, New Testament. that also know me quite well. I know a lot of students now, I feel confident, I can speak for myself and the general atmosphere that I'm experiencing right now is FANTASTIC!!!
I realize I've been rambling like an IDIOT right now, and I apologize for that! At least now I know what kind of structure this semester will take on, and that's the main thing. Though I'm going to have to study 24/7 practically until the beginning of Mars or something, in order to get everything to work out - and that feels quite intimidating ....
Still, I SO much hope I can continue here, because I feel really great here, there's an amazing feeling that I just belong here!!! :)