Monday, 25 September 2006

Time For A Change

Today was a much better day than yesterday, thanks for that!
I went to visit my work place, and it worked out really well! Since I haven't been there regularly for a very long time now (nearly 8 months!), it sometimes get a bit awkward - they have new routines that I don't know about, there are new Moms and new babies, that have no idea what I'm doing there etc, but luckily today turned out to be a good day!
Afterwards I went about a bit, running some errands, but at least I managed to all the things I needed to do done in the end.
I got home about 3 p.m. but I have been soooo tired ever since! It really really bothers me that I'm always so tired and I never have any energy at all! I mean, most everybody work 8 hours a day, they have maybe some hobbies, a house, a family with kids ... how do they manage?? When I'm out and about for four or five hours, I'm more or less unconscious!! Earlier I always felt like I could excuse myself with the fact that I wasn't feeling well, I was on sick-leave, I was always very tense and had high levels of anxiety which definately drains you of all energy, but I can't go on making those excuses forever either, can I?
* annoyed with myself *

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I really think I need to start changing some things in my life! I know I'm really bad at that, I always say that I'll "start a new life tomorrow" and it never happens, but I really really feel that I need to make some changes now! I know I won't be able to pull it through if things start going wrong - if I get sick, or if something major goes against me, because that always makes me take a dip in my very own depression-pool. But, if I can stay away from any serious illness and any other major disasters, I really really hope I can make the effort and start chaning! I need to be more disciplined in my life! If I have stuff I need to do, wether it's studying, working on websites, cleaning the apartment or whatever, I need to just get it done! Now I'm mostly just sitting around thinking about all the things I really need to do, but I never ever managed to just get them done! I also really need to start focusing on what I eat! I had this huge gluten-attack the day before the introduction at Uni, which really scared the hell out me! Since then I'm on a gluten-free diet of course, but I need to eat a lot better than what I do! Less fat, less suger, more fibers, vegetables etc! I also really should start exercising, something which I really really hate to do! But I know I need it, and I'm thinking that maybe I won't get so tired if I start exercising regularly!

Okay, I'm rambling on as usual! ;) I'll try to keep you posted on my ideas on changing, to see if I can make them work or not!

Also, I might be able to go to a cool concert in a few weeks! I really hope so! A famous musical couple (they're actually married!), Christer and Cecile Nerfont, will make a show called "Musical Highlights" in a town not far from here, and I totally want to go!! I'm hoping a friend of mine will come with me, but if she can't, I'll definately go alone! :-)

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