What first and foremost comes to mind when I think about this semester, is the work load I've been taking on! I've taken two or three courses at the same time - and this is me, Jessica, who's had a hard enough time coping with one course at a time, and sometimes not even managed that! I know I was motivated beyond anything to do this, which of course was a big help, but I also think that learning quickly that it payed off, that I did well, I learned a lot and my life actually worked out this way, also made me keep at it! Because it's not only a matter of taking several courses, it's also a fact that I have been feeling and doing WELL ... and that in itself is an amazing feeling!!!
Leading me into the next thing that strikes me this semester ... my results! I know I kind of got into that in my last entry, so I won't be too detailed ... but in short my results have been waaaay beyond my expectations! I have taken two full-time courses and one 25% course - officially - this semester, and the 25% one got a G, all the rest was VG ... and one of them was on Advanced Level. And aside from that I was following two other courses, one stricly full-time (did all assignments and went to almost all the lectures) and I got an unofficial VG on that exam as well ... the other one was mostly follwing lectures ... I was at alomst all the lectures, but I didn't do the exam, read the litterature as such ... but still ... *big happy smile*
Moving on to a third aspect of this semester: The Social Arena! Which is another thing that seem to almost miraculously have fallen into place this semester!! I have still stayed in touch with Sara and Johanna, though not really intensly. We did take the Biblical Interpretation-course together, which helped of course, but I have also expanded my circuit of friends. Lena, whom I studied Hebrew with, has become a very good friend of mine, we've struggled through the mysterious world of Hebrew verb forms together, which really forms a bond between people! :)
Also, in the social area, things have generally improved. Meaning I have been able to talk to a lot of people in my classes in a way that's been virtually impossible before! I can't - straight off at least - think of a reason for that, but I am beyond happy, and very greatful! I think I actually were able to say 'Hello' and keep up a general conversation with everyone in our Hebrew group ... which is ... beyond explaining actually! Naturally I got along better with some than others, but from a social perspective, it completely worked out with everyone!! Not quite the same in the other classes, Biblical Studies and Biblical Interpretation ... but not bad there either! In the first one, there was a reason things didn't start off really well ... but still, I'm so extremely happy about this ...
Also, I've gotten another "feel" for the Department, I'm completely at ease at the Library (which was a really big thing earlier, I could hardly set my foot in there!), I can sit there and study, I can ask questions etc. Also, I reacted to something regarding the new grading system that is "sort of" implemented now ... I thought I just didn't understand it properly, so I asked my student councellor - but she didn't know (and hadn't thought of it either!), so she referred me to the vice principal of the Deparment, and I also got talking to one of my professors, and it seemed they were actually going to adress this question at a teachers/academic personel conference! *yikes* :)
One last thing to go through now (hope I'm not boring you to death!), I could easily write a lot more, but I feel I need to keep it a bit short here - will be more detailed in the other blog (also, it's a little easier expressing what I feel in Swedish ...).
And this has to do with my views on studies and studying! I've always felt like I wanted to do University studies, and even though I haven't always been sure where I want my studies to lead, I've wanted to keep at it. But it's only this semester that I've really come to realize what studies are to me. Boring as this may sound; It's basically what I want to do with my life!!
I want to try to get into post-graduate studies later on, and am hoping for a career within the University world, teaching, doing research, writing articles and papers and maybe even books! And that means a different approach to studies, even on a fairly basic level!! I've really felt that getting a passing grade on an exam or a course is not enough for me! I need to do a good job first of all, I need to feel that what I had in (or my "performance" if it's an oral exam) is something I can stand for and am fairly pleased with! Naturally, you can't always live up to that, and somehow you always feel you could have done better, but an overall feeling of "This is okay, I can stand for this work!"
I have also realized - and pretty much implemented too - that studies is my life now ... and will be in the future too! Studies is not something you do to get it out-of-the-way! You don't rush through assigments to finish them so you can do something else ... studying, reading, writing or whatever it is, is what my life is supposed to be about now!! Naturally, you need to relax, do other things and get away from the books at times ... but just like working in a store means being there 8 hours a day, for me studying is a full-time job, and at least 8 hours a day should be with my books!
It's not quite so clear and clean-cut as that, of course, but the basics of it has really set itself in my head, and I do feel very good about it. Somehow, on some abstract level, I think it has given me a true feeling of purpose in life. I know what I want to do with my life, and this is a process in how to accomplish that ... and for someone who's - at least for the past 10 years (or close to it) - only tried to get through the next day, or the next week, or the next course ... that's an amazing feeling!!
Whoa, my entries tend to get WAY long now ... hope you're not too bored! :)
Keep a look-out in my Swedish blog for updates, and I will be back in this one as well!
Take care!
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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: It, Stephen King
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 1
Currently listening to: Lovely Ladies, Les Misérables Complete Symphonic Recording
My Plans for tomorrow: Trip to Gothenburg to get my Dad's car ... cleaning!
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