Tuesday, 17 March 2009

I Am Still Alive - I Promise!

I do have to apologize for the lack of entries here lately ... I can't believe it's been almost 1½ weeks since I updated the blog! *gasp*

Still, I don't think you've been missing much to be honest! I generally have a hard time coping with the spring season, and I have certainly felt that lately! The only exception was last year, I think, when I actually thrived during the spring semester - but usually I find them very difficult to cope with.
I have been feeling rather down, and a lot of things have not quite worked out, or ended up being very confusing - and that makes me have a hard time focusing and concentrating, and I end up doing a lot less than I should ... and I get in an even worse mood! :(

The last few days have been very up-and-down ... yesterday felt a little bit better (apart from a few things), so I was hoping things would turn around a bit now - but today has been pretty awful, and now I'm feeling all down again!

I know I SO don't have time to feel down and blue and apathetic right now because there are SO MUCH going on at the moment - but when I get like this, it's more or less impossible for me to "ignore it and move on"!! I still haven't found a way to get all these difficult thoughts out of my mind, and that makes it impossible to focus on my studies ... and to tell the truth, I find EVERYTHING really boring and meaningless at the moment!
When things are as they should be, I would never say my studies are boring - after all, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life!! But right now, everything feels just pointless ...

Okay, I'm sorry - this apparently turned into a more depressing entry than I had intended! *oops* I'm really trying hard not to let these feelings take control of me right now, because I'm SO pressed for time right now!
I have my oral OT-exam next Thursday and I need to study A LOT for that - and I also have to do some checking up on my two essays, because I need to discuss them with the professor when I take the exam ... because less than a week after the exam we have the essay seminar ... and I certainly have to present something sensible there!!
Apart from this, I have to start thinking about my trip to the summerhouse (with Zorro - on a train!!!), I need to contact the teacher who will teach the next part of the Old Testament course where I'm mentor, I need to see her before they start their course - and I need to apply for the autumn semester's courses (I'll be writing my Master's Degree essay), and I have to take another "reading course" during the summer, but I can't be registered on that unless I've passed the one I'm doing now, but it still has to register as being taken during the spring semester ...

... and I totally realize I'm rambling like an idiot! *sorry* I guess I was just trying to make a point, in the fact that I can't just sit back and stare into thin air right now, even though that sounds really great ... *rolling eyes*

Enough ramblings ... basically I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive, still, and that I have no plans to cancel this blog, even though it might seem so at the moment!
Now I will TRY to get some studying done before going to bed ... though I'm not sure if that is at all possible ... Wish me luck?


storschan said...

Uppsatsen var kvar, hel och ren precis som förut. Vet inte vad som hände men det var väl FF som min far brukar säga då bilen kajkar ihop- FörarFel.....

Jessica said...

Som jag skrev i din blogg - skönt att uppsatsen var kvar!! Måste ha varit en lättnad minst sagt ...