Tuesday, 17 March 2009

I Am Still Alive - I Promise!

I do have to apologize for the lack of entries here lately ... I can't believe it's been almost 1½ weeks since I updated the blog! *gasp*

Still, I don't think you've been missing much to be honest! I generally have a hard time coping with the spring season, and I have certainly felt that lately! The only exception was last year, I think, when I actually thrived during the spring semester - but usually I find them very difficult to cope with.
I have been feeling rather down, and a lot of things have not quite worked out, or ended up being very confusing - and that makes me have a hard time focusing and concentrating, and I end up doing a lot less than I should ... and I get in an even worse mood! :(

The last few days have been very up-and-down ... yesterday felt a little bit better (apart from a few things), so I was hoping things would turn around a bit now - but today has been pretty awful, and now I'm feeling all down again!

I know I SO don't have time to feel down and blue and apathetic right now because there are SO MUCH going on at the moment - but when I get like this, it's more or less impossible for me to "ignore it and move on"!! I still haven't found a way to get all these difficult thoughts out of my mind, and that makes it impossible to focus on my studies ... and to tell the truth, I find EVERYTHING really boring and meaningless at the moment!
When things are as they should be, I would never say my studies are boring - after all, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life!! But right now, everything feels just pointless ...

Okay, I'm sorry - this apparently turned into a more depressing entry than I had intended! *oops* I'm really trying hard not to let these feelings take control of me right now, because I'm SO pressed for time right now!
I have my oral OT-exam next Thursday and I need to study A LOT for that - and I also have to do some checking up on my two essays, because I need to discuss them with the professor when I take the exam ... because less than a week after the exam we have the essay seminar ... and I certainly have to present something sensible there!!
Apart from this, I have to start thinking about my trip to the summerhouse (with Zorro - on a train!!!), I need to contact the teacher who will teach the next part of the Old Testament course where I'm mentor, I need to see her before they start their course - and I need to apply for the autumn semester's courses (I'll be writing my Master's Degree essay), and I have to take another "reading course" during the summer, but I can't be registered on that unless I've passed the one I'm doing now, but it still has to register as being taken during the spring semester ...

... and I totally realize I'm rambling like an idiot! *sorry* I guess I was just trying to make a point, in the fact that I can't just sit back and stare into thin air right now, even though that sounds really great ... *rolling eyes*

Enough ramblings ... basically I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive, still, and that I have no plans to cancel this blog, even though it might seem so at the moment!
Now I will TRY to get some studying done before going to bed ... though I'm not sure if that is at all possible ... Wish me luck?

2 comments:

storschan said...

Uppsatsen var kvar, hel och ren precis som förut. Vet inte vad som hände men det var väl FF som min far brukar säga då bilen kajkar ihop- FörarFel.....

Jessica said...

*ler*
Som jag skrev i din blogg - skönt att uppsatsen var kvar!! Måste ha varit en lättnad minst sagt ...