Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Still Feels Tough!

My studies are still going very slow, and the slower it gets, the more stressed out and frustrated I get. Not great, that's for sure!
Hebrew/Old Testament lecture this morning, and I think it worked out ... though when I'm in this kind of mood, I tend to not know what I think about what's going on. One minute I'm thinking, 'This worked out, that's great, that's working', and the next minute it's, 'oh no, I shouldn't have done that or said that' and everything is just a great big mess in my head.
I've made some decisions regarding that course - since I'm not really taking it, but now everything is really complicated and I'm starting to wonder about that decision ... and then a voice inside me keeps telling me I shouldn't even think about that course, since I'm actually not taking it for credit - and that I instead should start thinking about the courses I am taking for credit ...
Yeah, okay, now I'm sounding like a rambling, raving lunatic ... guess I'd better be quite.

About the only other thing that's happened today is laundry! Relatively boring, but it has to be done. Lucky for me I managed to get a double booking so I actually completely emptied my laundry basked - don't know when that happened last! :)

Once again feeling guilty for not studying as much as I should have ... but I should get some hours in at the Department tomorrow. We have Old Testament/Hebrew 8-10 as usual, and then I'm meeting a friend at 2, so hopefully I can be efficient inbetween. I might be studying with a friend, but I'm definately going to suggest we sit in the library, as it's way easier to concentrate there, and you do get a lot more done ....

I really hope I'll feel a bit better, and start feeling like I'm actually getting things done, because I think that is what frustrates me the most! I have a ton of work, but I get no 'check-ups' on the work I'm doing, and then all of a sudden, it's everything at once!! I think over a period of about 2 weeks we're going to have 3 or 4 seminars and hand in 3 papers and one larger 'essay-kind-of-thing', and it's hard to feel like you're putting things behind you now .... even if you're writing your paper, you don't have the seminar and can hand it in for a number of weeks, so in some way it doesn't feel like you're done with it until then ...

God, I'm rambling tonight! I should just give up this entire project and go to bed (have to watch the Swedish Ice Hockey Finals first though! Quite exciting, since the team I'm cheering for (not my favourite, but still ...) has recovered from being now 0-2 to being ahead 5-3 ... yay!)!
Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Exploring the texture of texts, Vernon Robbins
Currently watching: Swedish Ice Hockey Finals (HV71-Linköping)
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Old Testament lecture, studies, meeting a friend, more studies

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