Tuesday, 4 November 2008

High Intensity Level!

As per request, I am supposed to do a "fun and interesting blog entry" ... okay ... *nervous smile* Easier said than done, since I've been completely exhausted since this morning's lecture. Guess I could take the easy way out and claim that in today's postmodern context, I emphasize the value of hermeneutics, meaning that there are no exact sciences and everything can be interpreted more or less any way you choose (within reason of course). Drawing on that can theoretically make this completely incoherent blog entry interesting ... for someone ... maybe ...
Does that count?

Sorry, about that! These days I blame Biblical Greek on everything in my life, well almost anyway! (And the things that Biblical Greek can't be held responsible for ... well, there's always Biblical Hebrew, right?! *lol*)
Seriously though, this course has started off with intensity levels I could hardly imagine! The Greek and Hebrew courses are structured pretty much in the same way, in that you first study the language and grammar, then move on to a more theological perspective, though based in the original language. When I took Hebrew, the second half of the semester was less intense then the first, even though none of it was an easy ride. And in Greek, it seems to be the opposite! We're studying the entire Gospel of Mark, and we're supposed to prepare and go through one chapter a day ... if you're not up to date in your Bibles, I'd estimate we have to prepare (on average) about 35-40 Bible verses every single day!
My intention was of course to try to do just that, as the exam will be on a text from the Gospel of Mark, but since I thought we were going to focus more on theology than grammar, it felt like it wasn't the end of the world if you were precisely up to date to every single lecture - and boy was I wrong! Apparently we're going to go through every single verse in the Gospel of Mark, at least make a translation of it, and when problems arise, we discuss the grammatical analysis ... AND deal with the whole theological perspective!
Quite a shock to say the least!

We were few students at lectures today, 5-6 ... meaning I (and the others!) had to read a lot verses!! I think I read seven or eight all together - and I usually have trouble reading one!! But something kind of strange happened today - because it didn't bother me at all the way it has done on most occasions!! For some reason I coped better than I think I ever have today, I read and I made mistakes and I read and I got it right and I read and I made jokes ... and that never happens!! *gasp*
Don't get me wrong here, I'm totally grateful for it, and very happy! But I still can't help but wonder if this can last! I have had lectures earlier in the semester, where things have worked out really well - but it's never lasted ... just the following lecture I couldn't cope and felt really really bad. It's strange not to be able to put your finger on why it sometimes work out great and sometimes end in disaster, because it's more or less the same stuff that happens, the same people and .... *confusion*
I REALLY want to be able to go more or less every single lecture on this course, I'm really starting to enjoy it more and more, the New Testament theology (that we've been into so far) is more interesting than I had anticipated, the group and the teacher work out ... and that's why I'm really scared I'll feel completely different tomorrow, will panic over the verses I can't figure out, feel totally exposed and end up with such an anxiety attack I'll have to miss lectures ... I don't think I'm being overly negative either, because that has actually happened before!
I know there's nothing I can do about it, at least not tonight, all I can do is try as hard as I possible can to go, and do my best and relax - and then just cross my fingers it will work out ...

What else? Well, we'll probably be getting our exams back tomorrow! *nervous laugh* I'd be very surprised if I haven't passed, but other than that ... it's anybody's guess. I think I'm a bit more nervous about this exam than many others since there were a number of rather personal "issues" surrounding the exam, in different ways! And while I think I've worked through most of them now, I still can't leave the whole thing behind me until I get the exam back.

Otherwise, I'm pretty much living in the Gospel of Mark right now, trying to squeeze in a little Ecclesiastes for my essay when I get the chance ... I guess that doesn't sound too thrilling, but I actually really do enjoy what I'm doing, even though I'm at times complaining a lot! I have really found my place here, this is really and truly what I want to be doing! Lucky me, hey?!

That's it for tonight ... and I'll let you be the judges on the "fun and interesting" part! :)
Good night!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Gospel of Mark, R.T. France
Currently watching: Inspector Lynley - For the Sake of Elena
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: Greek lectures, studying


storschan said...

Du är en äkta olyckskråka du! Njut av att allt funkar just nu och kraxa inte så mycket om - tänk om, men utifallatt osv!!!!! Grattis till tentan!

Jessica said...

*ler lite* Du kan nog ha en poäng ... fast jag tror det är min egen erfarenhet som talar om att bra saker stannar inte för evigt. Självklart ska man passa på att njuta av det som ÄR bra, absolut, men jag känner nog själv ett behov av nån slags mental "förberedelse" för att det faktiskt kan komma att ändras ... har upplevt lite för många chocker på det området tror jag ...

Jessica said...

Och tack förresten! *ler stort*