Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Right Or Wrong?

I've had a pretty strange day today!
I was supposed to have Greek lectures and a mentor meeting, but when I got up this morning, I decided to skip lectures! While things are going great with Greek studies, the essay is starting to be a REAL problem, time flies and I have no clue whatsoever on how I'm gonna make it work.
I'm meeting with my professor tomorrow afternoon, and I thought that if I could stay home today and prepare Greek like an IDIOT, I'd be so much ahead I could take time to work on the essay from tomorrow after the meeting and at least all the way through Saturday ...

I guess the intention was good ...
But I'm starting to feel I'm going into a phase where I cannot make the right decisions any more ... because clearly staying home was maybe not-so-great! *sigh*

It's not like I haven't done anything, I have translated about 65 Bible verses - and written down the Greek text to about 20 more - which is good, but not what I had expected ... I had actually hoped to have done almost twice that amount! *oops*!
Since I wasn't at lectures today, I have no idea how efficient things were today (that tend to vary a lot!), so I have no idea if I should have done waaaay much more, or if this is okay! I know I am ahead (unless they went through like 80-85 verses today *lol*) but the question is how much ahead I am, because that tells me how much time I will be able to spend on my essay. I will find out tomorrow morning, so I guess I shouldn't stress too much about it ... but since it feels like everything is hanging in the balance, it's hard to to start thinking a bit too much!

Since it's the dark time of the year, I'm also constantly tired - I guess everybody else is too, but I really do need to be more efficiant than I am right now, if I'm going to make this work. And I kind of have to make it work.
Greek studies is going so well right now, and I don't want to start slacking there, and take the risk things going bad there. But keeping it they way I want to certainly requires a lot of time and energy.
And I can't give up on the essay either. I need the the essay on several levels, not only do I need it for my degree (well, sort of, anyway!), I also think it would be really good for me personally if I could finish it! I have never done this before, and it is a whole new way of "studying", a way I will be doing A LOT more of in the future (this essay is 25% of fullt-time studies over one semester, I will also be doing one of 50% (next semester) and one of 100% (next fall)!), so I really need to get the hang of it and make it work!
The only problem is I seem to have neither the time nor the energy to do it!

I know a lot of things in my life are better now than I had ever dared hope, and I do think I'm trying to be grateful for them, and not get stuck in a manner where I'm only complaining all the time - but I can't help getting worried ... the weeks fly by sooooo quickly, and Christmas and the beginning of January will be extremely difficult for me to work out ... so in order to feel really good about myself, I should have about 95-98% of the entire Greek course and the entire essay finished by December 15th ... terrific! *not*

Okay, enough complaining now! I'm hoping to at least copy (if not translate) a few more verses before heading to bed - and then I'll have to start preparing for Greek tomorrow morning and then make a U-turn to try to get to my essay in Hebrew ...

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