So, despite the fact that I woke up with a splitting headache at 5 a.m. this morning I was hell bent on doing what I had in mind, which was first and foremost going to "work". Now, I can go by two different buses, one 'early' (leaving home right after 7) and one 'late' (leaving home right after 8), and I had planned to take the early bus. Despite hard effort, my headache persisted, even though it started to get better, so I though I'd take the late bus to let my head recover as much as possible. I was totally set on this and getting ready, when all of a sudden my stomach decided it wouldn't go along at all! I'm usually pretty healthy, I don't have problems with my physical health, but I litterary spent the upcoming 30 minutes in the bathroom ... thereby missing the late bus (and there's no other way to go).
Now, I know, I really know, that I couldn't help this - I mean, what could I do? But that's not the point! Wether there is 'blame' or not, doesn't alter the fact that there are consequenses, and the ocnsequenses in this instant meant that I won't be able to go to work for another week ... *terrific*
This really upset me, for some reason I became really sad about it! I guess that is because I felt like I put a lot of energy into really trying to apply these thoughts, trying to change a pattern that I felt was very bad, and then because of this, it just didn't work.
Being me and all, these sad feelings completely took control, and I couldn't do anything at all. I kept wandering from the computer to the TV and back to the computer. I felt so sad and so bad, I couldn't bring myself to doing anything, but because I didn't do anything, I kept feeling worse and worse. Not a great concept, that's for sure!
Then for some reason - and I have absolutely no clue whatsoever - which is kind of frustrating - it turned around! About 5 p.m. this afternoon, it just turned around. I cooked dinner, I replied to a number of emails I had been neglecting for a long time, I cleared away a lot of stuff, I cleaned most of my apartment, including scrubbing the kitchen (which for some reason I really hate!) ... just like that!
That, of course, was great, and I do feel a lot better now, but that doesn't change the fact that it's frustrating not being able to figure out why I have these 'changes'. If I knew that, I could work hard at getting them a bit more often, but they just ... happen ...
Guess I am a strange person, right?! :)
I am feeling much better now, and I'm hoping - keep your fingers crossed too - that no disasters will happen tonight or tomorrow morning, so that I can go ahead as planned tomorrow morning. I'm planning on studying at Uni tomorrow morning - though I still haven't heard from my tutor which makes it difficult to know what it is I should be studying!!! - and then I'll have to hunt for a housewarming present for Johanna and Per, I'm going to their new apartment on Saturday, so I'll start looking for something nice tomorrow!
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My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Goodbye California, Alistair McLean
Currently watching: The Simpsons
Currently listening to:
My Plans for tomorrow: Studying, library, shopping ...
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