Saturday, 24 January 2009

Feeling Numb!

It seems like my life is just one big major chaotic mess at the moment, and today I'm mostly feeling numb! I haven't had the energy to go through yesterday properly, and I still need to do a personal run-through of the entire week, because it feels like it's been going on forever!
I'm extremely grateful that I'm generally doing so much better now, because otherwise, this week would have definitely led to a break-down!! It's just been one thing after another after another, and I haven't properly managed to sort out one problem (practical or emotional - or both) before the next one has arrived!

Yesterday was a REALLY intense day! I was very tired so I didn't get to Uni as early as I had intended but I was there a little after 11. I sat outside the student counsellor's office for almost an hour before he came out, by then it was 12 and he was going to lunch! I guess he saw the despair in my eyes though, because he let me in anyway! Which was both good and bad, I think. I felt really stressed out because I knew I was keeping him from getting lunch, and he was actually in a pretty bad mood ... Things are chaotic right now, in general, so I guess I don't blame him, but it's quite uncharacteristic of him, so it was a bit of a surprise.
Things were really complicated, he didn't remember me, and we misunderstood each other all the time, which was a little annoying. What came out of the whole deal was that the teachers had basically messed up when it came to the whole essay-thing, and the best thing I could do was talk to 'my' professor in the Old Testament. Since I had a meeting with him planned for the afternoon, that felt great!

After that I got some reading done in the library and also had a chance to catch up a little with a friend I hadn't seen since before Christmas, very nice!
At 1 o'clock, there was an SI (mentor)-meeting, with all the mentors and our supervisor ... I was a little nervous, since I didn't know what it would be like, but I am proud to say that I handle these things sooooo much better now!
The meeting wasn't great, but it wasn't all that bad either. One thing felt a bit odd though ... we were 5-6 people there (1 of them had something else and he kind of came and went), and 3 (4) of them were mentors for the two "basic" courses we have at the Department, the two courses all students must take first as a sort of introduction. First of all, those courses are a bit different from a lot of other courses, which makes them a bit special, and second, all the mentors there, had been mentors before, so they kind of knew the score and had a bit of experience. Me and the other girl are new mentors, but I still couldn't really relate to her. I know her a little (we've taken Hebrew together), but she's mentor for the Human Rights subject, which is sort of a 'sub-subject' (if you know what I mean) to Theology and Religious Studies, and they have even moved away from our building to someplace else ... so I couldn't quite connect to her either ... meaning that I felt pretty alone in my little Hebrew-thing ...
The basics did work out though, which is the main thing!

As soon as we were done I took a bus to CSN (Student Aid-people), as I had some issues to discuss with them. Waiting again of ocurse - this time about 45 minutes ... and when I got to see someone, the lady was totally rude!! And totally incoherent!! It was really a strain, because I hardly knew what to say in the end! I had one basic question, and she didn't even listen to what I had to say!! She constantly assumed what sounded like a simple solution for her (like, basically, she wouldn't have to do anything) and HELLO, it's like my financial future at stake here?!? I got absolutely NOTHING from that visit, and now I have to go by my own common sense! Not saying that's all bad, but I had at least hoped to get some pointers from someone who actually works there! Very frustrating!

Time to get a bus back to the Department, where I got some coffee and ran through my 'spring-semester 2009'-notes, before heading up to the professor. We had set a meeting to 4 o'clock, but he had told me that if I came in early, I could just check if he was avaliable - I went up there at about 3.30, and that was apparently perfect timing (I think he wanted to get home as quickly as possible too, on a Friday afternoon *lol*)!
First and foremost we discussed the whole chaotic-seminar-thing, which has just become absurd. My professor had to rush off to talk to the New Testament professor, who aparently had checked it out ... but it didn't turn out great anway. What we did decide was that I AM going to follow seminar (and opositions) at the Old- and New Testament seminars, which I wanted, but it sounded like I really should go to these other weird seminars (for professor I don't like) as well ... and that's what doesn't sound great to me. I'll have to think a little about that though - I have a hope that I can email this other professor and explain what's going on, and say that I have a really busy semester now (which I do!!) and hope that it will be enough I follow one seminar group! Fingers crossed?!!

I got home about 5-5.30 and was dead for the entire evening! Had hoped to get a well-earned long, lovely sleep - yeah right! *rolling eyes* I don't sleep very well in general now, and at 3.30 Zorro decided it was morning ... so then I don't get to sleep either! Thank you very much!

Today hasn't started off great because of this, but I'm hoping I can get something out of what's left of today at least! :)


The Darkest Night said...

wow..sounds like a pretty tough day!! I really hope you get a relaxing weekend now - sounds like you deserve it! *hugs*

Jessica said...

Yeah, yesterday was no fun, that's for sure!
I have had a great day today though, doing absolutely NOTHING!!
Feels like I should have done something, but after this week, I think I needed today ... will have to get started tomorrow! :)
Hope to catch you on YIM soon! *miss you!*

The Darkest Night said...

that sounds good! :) Sometimes we need a day where we do nothing :)
hope to see you soon *hugs*