Le Grand Premiere!

Or rather ... le petit premiere ...
I had my first mentor meeting today - and let's just say I'm not too thrilled about it. I find it extremely difficult to evaluate myself like that, and it's more in general been a very overwhelming day today - but I can't get away from the negative feeling about this day!
It's not like I'm completely down, or think the whole thing was downright awful, because it wasn't ... but I can't say that it was good either!

I'll try to go through it from the beginning -though I don't want to go into too much detail! I'll save the details for my really personal blog ...
I attended the lecture at 10 this morning - having arrived almost an hour earlier trying to fix everything that needed to be prepared before - making coffee and everything else. The lecture was okay, and I'm actually enjoying even these first basic lessons! The teacher is really good, but I can't help but miss 'my' Hebrew teacher - he retired in October and he was truly terrific ....
Anyway ...
Afterwards it was time for the mentor meeting! I'm not really 'forward', even though I tried gathering people, asking if they were going to stay for the meeting etc. ... but only five turned up (I think they were 10 or 11 at the lecture ... and a 50% turnout isn't that impressive, is it?)

As for the meeting itself ... I don't know! Some parts of me thinks that at least it was okay, and other parts of me are just sad and upset and feel like I made an idiot of myself and of the entire mentor-programme ...
Some birthday, hey?! *little smile*
It wasn't all bad, definitely not - at lot of things have been very good about it (I got the most adorable bouquet of flowers this afternoon - I'm hoping to get a picture of it here tomorrow - THANKS, Mum!! *hugs*) - but the whole mentor-thing does tend to be the one thing I think about when I think of this day ...

Anway ... I guess I have to move on, and try to work with myself and hope I can improve the things I don't feel good about ...
Tomorrow I have the introduction to my essays and reading courses, so I just have to get myself back together again now, and hope I can feel okay in the morning ...