Sunday, 17 December 2006

How Do I Avoid Christmas?

Well, I've never really been a fan of Christmas, but this year it's worse than ever.
I had a tiny, tiny taste of Christmas spirit when I went to the Christmas concert in the beginning of December, but it's certainly disappeared since then ...
At the moment, I'm mostly trying to figure out how to completely avoid Christmas ... which I really know is impossible! *sigh*

I always find Christmas (and other holidays) to be very complicated, but I can in retrospect say that it's worked out okay most of the time. I think that is because once I'm in the middle of it, I don't have any time to reflect on it, on wether I am being fair, on wether I should take on more conflicts than I do, on how much time I spend with whom etc. It's this "trying-to-work-it-out-for-the-best" that I well and truly HATE, because I neverk now how to do that. I always seem to forget something or someone, and it all ends up being a complete MESS!! Adding to the mess is the fact that I'm probably going to have to try to figure out how to cope with more people being involved in this mess ...

Right now, I REALLY wish I could just skip the whole thing!!!
Like I said though, I guess I'll feel better once I'm in the middle of it, I probably won't feel like I'm being tortured all through Christmas Eve (see, even in my more or less complete depression, I managed a joke ... *yay me*!), but I DO HATE trying to make it all work out now ...

Sorry about being negative all the time right now ... I just can't help it ....


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13 comments:

The darkest night said...

Sorry you feel that way..I do hope you'll have a really nice Christmas!
*hugs*
If you wanna talk you know where to find me...

Sandra said...

Jessica, I can feel your pain. We seem to think the same about Christmas. It is such a stressful time... esp. when you have to divide your time between various people... and the Christmas present shopping. Feels like no matter what I do it's never enough =/ Oh well. I hope it will turn out well for you =) It must be a special joy to have a little sister who can "up" the Christmas spirit a bit :)

Jessica said...

the darkest night:
Thanks! Yeah, usually once everything starts to happen, I'm pretty okay with Christmas, I just HATE trying to figure it all out now, because no matter what I do, it turns out wrong! :(

Sandra:
It's wonderful to have my little sister around, especially around Christmas ... and soon there will be another little sister or brother *lol*
Still, I find Christmas SO stressing! Presents and decorations, and for me it's mostly a matter of sorting out where I will spend time when, because there is constant debate about that, and it always feels like I'm letting somebody down! :( *sigh*
I'd be just as happy without Christmas, but I'm hoping it'll work out so I can enjoy the holidays anwyay ...

Sandra said...

Another little sister or brother? Are you lucky or what =) Congratulations! I always wanted a little sibling myself, but never got one. I guess my parents had their hands full with me or something lol.

Yeah, dividing time so that it seems "fair" to everyone is hard. I have at least 3 places I have to go to on Christmas Eve. And it's terrible to have the feeling of letting family down. Eventually, like you said, it will work out though :)

Jessica said...

Yeah, I really am lucky! It's my Dad that's starting a "new" family, but both he and his partner are really keen to include me, so that feels good!! I really love kids (but I don't have any of my own), so I'm happy they're letting me be a part of their family! :)

It is hard dividing your time in a "good" way over the holidays ... somehow you always feel like you're letting someone down.
Still, Christmas will come and go this year as well, so I guess we'll both survive, right?!

Although I wouldn't be that upset if I found out they decided to cancel Christmas! ;)

The darkest night said...

I can understand that it gets extra complicated when you need to try to divide your Christmas time...I do hope you'll be able to come up with a plan that works for everyone - and especially a plan you feel good about too! :)

Jessica said...

Thanks!
From experience I know that everybody around me insists I should think of a solution that I feel good about ... but in the end I just tend to try to please everybody else *sigh*
But then again, I know that the only solution/s I would ever feel good about is completely out of the question and would instantly be rejected ... so what can I do?!

Anyway, I guess January will come this time as well ...:)

The darkest night said...

Yeah....I think I know what you mean....just don't forget about yourself..Christmas is for YOU too..not just your family... maybe it would help if you set aside a bit of time to do just what YOU want to do during Christmas? (doesn't have to be anything huge...maybe just to watch some Christmas movies, take a walk, go somewhere...). Maybe that would make the "family time" seem less of a burden... Oh I don't know...advice is not my strong side...especially not right now..sorry! Ignore me...at least my intentions are good.. ;)

Jessica said...

*lol*
I am definately appreciating your good intentions! :) ;)
And I think you're right too! I usually get some 'alone-time' in the summerhouse at some point during Christmas and the holidays, which is great! I just feel that when it comes to the important days, I just tend to HATE them ... I mean there is no solution that would be considered acceptable that I feel good about ... which obviously is a problem!
Ah well, if I have survived through 27 Christmases I'm fairly sure I'll survive this one too! ;)

The darkest night said...

I hope things will work out for you...you know if for instance December 28 turns out to be a nicer and more Christmassy day for you than Christmas Eve there's nothing wrong with that... just make sure you get to have some fun! :) And to relax - you sure deserve that!! You've done so well this fall - don't forget that! You should be very proud of yourself! *HUGS*

Jessica said...

*thanks sis* I'll do my very best ... still nothing's been decided about Christmas, and my tutor at Uni was not much help when it comes to the essay, but I still hope I can get at least a LITTLE quality time over the holidays!

The darkest night said...

Good luck with everything! *BIG HUG* I

Jessica said...

*thanks!!*