Wednesday, 6 December 2006

Starting To Wonder!

I'm starting to wonder if I'll be able to sort everything out in a somewhat satisfactory way actually. I know I keep repeating myself, but it certainly looks like every time I try to deal with something, something else goes to Hell ...
I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me too much, and I really try to take things one day - or one hour! - at a time, and hope for the best. But it's hard since I have about a million things in my head, that in one way or another needs to be dealt with.
I really feel that I'm not at all coping as well with things the way I did earlier this semester, in that respect I guess I've gone back in my personal development, but I honestly don't think that's very strange, considering the way things are right now.

I know things were really good for the most part this semester, but the fact is that even when things went well, they were still a huge strain for me ... and since I wasn't given any chance for recreation and reflection, I just cracked up when things started going wrong ...

It feels like I have at least started doing something tonight, and I hope that this might help me to be a little more positive in the future. Somehow I'll have to try and deal with this entire mess the best way I can, and just hope that it's enough, right?

Unfortunately my situation isn't made easier due to these 'issues' I have referred to earlier. They are not really very tangible in my life right now, but they are constantly in my thoughts, and they are definately complicating matters, partly because they make me feel really, really sad and down, and partly because I feel I can't concentrate on more important things ... *sigh*

Ah well .... I can only do my best, right? I just hope it's enough ...
If no disasters occurs within the next 12 hours or so (who knows, it might be a migraine, a flood, an earthquake ...!), I hope to do some Christmas shopping tomorrow! Maybe that will take my mind off some things, and hopefully I can relax and enjoy the little outing ...

Take care!


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15 comments:

The darkest night said...

After about 2 months without sleep there's really not much left in my brain...so I can't give you much advice...or make a comment that makes sense..but I hope you'll have a better day tomorrow! *hugs*

Jessica said...

That's okay, definately points for effort! :)
I know how you feel about sleep though ... it'd be nice to not feel like a living corpse for a change ...

Hope we'll see each other on MSN soon! :)

The darkest night said...

Thanks! :) yeah...that WOULD be nice!
I think we need a vaction!!

Hope to see you soon too!

Jessica said...

Yay!! Me WANT vacation NOW!!! :D :D

The darkest night said...

Me too!! :)

Jessica said...

Hey ... how about a vacation TOGETHER?!?!? Do I get the best ideas or what?!?!? *LOL*

The darkest night said...

YAY!! :) Now wouldn't THAT be nice?! :)

Yeah, of course you do ! *lol*

Jessica said...

Yay me! :D
It definately WOULD be nice, that's for sure!! :)

The darkest night said...

I agree! :)
I doubt we'll get to do that right now...*lol* but maybe some other day, huh? ;)

Jessica said...

Yeah, I'm guessing I should think of my trip north on Christmas and New Years as vacation - and I SOOO do NOT ... but I guess there'll be other times ....

The darkest night said...

Yeah..you should... *lol* but maybe you're going by my rule? "if the parents are there it does NOT count as a vacation!" (learned that lesson the hard way...)

I do hope you'll have a good "vacation" though :)

Jessica said...

Well, something like that, I guess ... I just have a feeling that 'vacation' should mean 'fun', 'relaxing', 'not stress-ful', and stuff like that ... and my Christmases are quite the oposite of that ...

The darkest night said...

I know the feeling..wouldn't mind a REAL vacation...were you really get to relax compleatly! Wouldn't that be SUPER nice?!

Jessica said...

DEFINATELY!!! Why can't a vacation like that come knocking on my door?!?!?

The darkest night said...

Hey it beats me!! :) I wouldn't mind that either...