Thursday, 13 March 2008

Rough Day - Indeed!

Yes, today was rather hard to get through ... but I did it, and I don't think I made a complete mess of myself, so I guess that's a good thing, right?!

Hebrew first ... went okay, pretty good. I actually had found one verb-form that most other students had had trouble getting the hang of it, so that boosted my self-esteem a little! I meant to talk to our teacher during the break about some questions about my New Testament/Paul seminar, but I was really nervous about it! I have a very had time doing stuff like that, somewhere deep inside me I have this feeling that whatever I say is stupid, and I'm annoying and ... God knows what! I really wanted to do it though, because I do realize these feelings are wrong (even though I can't seem to get rid of them), but our teacher managed to disappear completely! I more or less "followed him around" (almost anyway!), and I finally caught up with him. At the time, it felt very rough, I felt stupid and stupid and stupid and ... well, you get the picture, but once I got home and managed to think through what exactly had happened, I think it did turn out pretty well actually! :) So in retrospect, I'm really glad I went through with it, even though it felt pretty awful at the time!

After Hebrew, the seminar - and I was very nervous about this. We were supposed to have prepared a number of assignment, then go off into smaller groups and discuss them, and then have a discussion together, the whole class. First and foremost I was worried about forming these smaller groups, since I haven't really connected to anyone on this course ... I say Hello to most people, but it's not much more than that. It turned out to work out well though, as we formed groups according to the way we had sat down in the classroom, so those 3-5 students seated together formed one group.
The discussion in itself felt mostly "weird" though. I spoke quite a lot (at least for being me), and more than I had anticipated, which felt good - but I didn't feel we went through the assignments very thoroughly and I felt a lot of things were not "finished" and just left hangin ...
This made the later discussion, when we gathered again, even more difficult, and here I really felt like I was going back in time a couple of years ... I was really terrified at the thought of having to say something, and our teacher sometimes asked specific groups what they had discussed and talked about ... luckily for me, I didn't have to say anything, but those 45 minutes were really hard on me!!

I went straight home, had some improvised mini-lunch, and was supposed to start studying. Before completing that thought, I had fallen asleep on my couch, and I slept for 2½ hours!!! *yikes* It took quite a while to wake up properly, and I also felt a need to work through this day in my diary ... so I didn't get started with my studies until 6.30!! I do feel a little guilty about that, but I also know that I am very tired now, and this kind of day really takes it's toll on me, and I need to recover properly! I did manage to prepare all 18 (!!) Hebrew sentences for Monday tonight, so tomorrow morning, it's all New Testament! :)

Later tonight I was giving Zorro a treat - some tuna, which he really loves! His stomach is a bit sensitive though, so I usually don't give him much at a time. But after he had seconds (with about 1-1½ hours inbetween) he started throwing up like crazy! Nothing to do but try to clear up as best I could (insterestingly enough he always makes sure he throws up on the carpets, and not on the floor, making cleaning up that much more difficult).
He seemed to calm down and was about to jump up in my lap, when something happened, he made a dash for my living room table (where I keep everything and more!), couldn't land properly and ended up tearing down most of what was on it, including a bottle of water and a mug almost full of coffee ... which of course meant that I was crawling around on the floor trying to clean the carpet again! *terrific*

I'm quite tired now, so I'm going to get some sleep and hope I can stay really efficient these three whole days until next week starts!

Take care!

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: The Bible and Contemporary Culture, Gerd Theissen
Currently watching: Stargate SG-1, season 9
Currently listening to: Nothing
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES

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