Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Complete Frustration!

I guess today has been okay, although I'm in an AWFUL mood tonight! I think I have done a fair bit of studying today, but I don't seem to learn anything, no matter how much I study! It feels really, really hopeless at the moment!
We have some sentences to prepare for tomorrow, and I knew that I had to be really prepared, especially after what happened yesterday ... and I can't make any sense of it! Every sentence take me 45 minutes to an hour to complete, and that will mean that I'm gonna be up all night! And that's just finding an adequate translation - then I have to double-check all the grammar, and learn to read it in Hebrew ... *sigh*
I'm really struggling with this, but the way I feel now - I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it to lectures tomorrow! I'm not putting myself through a repetition of yesterday - not ever!! - so if I can't cope with this, and feel like I know the stuff, I don't think I'll be able to go!

Everything feels completely hopeless tonight! This semester has really started off in a BAD way, and I hate that!! I really do want to continue with my studies and I want to learn, and now it just seems impossible!
I haven't been feeling the best, I do get my downs, I guess they are mild depressions, every now and again, but that means that I get even more behind in my studies, and I don't know if I can make up for it!! We go through soooo much new stuff every single lecture, that it's really bad to miss lectures, and yet it seems that's what I'm doing all the time ....

I'm sorry, this blog entry wasn't much fun, but I really feel terrible tonight! I guess the best thing would be to go to bed, but there's no way I could sleep either ... I don't know how I'm gonna cope with the future in general, because I can't just put everything on hold and hope I can work it out later ... and yet I can't seem to work it out now either ....

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