Well, I guess it's time for the first REALLY rotten day of 2007!! Not that I'm very surprised, these days have a tendency to show up every now and again, but I can't say that I welcome them.
Everything was a mess from the beginning today, it turned out very "weird" and that kept going the entire day!
I felt a headache coming on late last night, but figured I'd get rid of it by sleep. Yeah right ... I hardly slept at all, which made my headache even worse! I got up early (yeah, I soooo like getting up at 4.30 in the morning *sigh*) to try to get rid of it before it was time for Uni. On top of everything we had not one lecture as we usually do, but two - one was the first in a series of lectures that will last for the first half of the semester!! I got up and I did feel like my headache was getting a bit better. It was closing in on migraine, but tried to pour down coffee and painkillers and tons of water, and it did seem to do some good at least.
Until I got on the bus! The headache did NOT cope with me being around other people, and I came rather close to fainting on the bus - not good! I did try, but there was no way I was gonna cope with the train and Uni and lectures and students and whatnot ... so I had to get off at the railway station and take another bus home again.
This of course felt like one big failure! I know that I really didn't feel well and all that, but I always have very mixed opinions about staying home when I really should be somewhere. Up until about one, 1½ year ago, I usually escaped all difficult situations by telling me there was some great reason for staying home. Since then I'm really hyper-sensitive about the reasons for staying home, maybe I should cope anyway ... oh God, I'm just rambling. Before this gets completely out of hand, I'll just say that it felt terrible that I couldn't go!
That "failure" - or whatever you want to call it - has mirrored my mood all day! I managed to get a few hours sleep when I got home, and the headache has been better today, although it's not completely gone yet. But despite the fact I haven't been completely incapacitated by the headache, I haven't gotten anything done. I was meant to have this superproductive weekend - well, it hasn't shown itself today, that's for sure.
I did email a friend on the course, to find out what I had missed, and I think I can make up for it .... guess that's the main thing ....
My mood slowly started to get better tonight, so I had high hopes I would at least cope with tomorrow, now that today feels like a complete waiste. Until about half an hour ago! I found out some information I really didn't want ... and it hit me pretty badly! Now I'm going down by the minute here - so I'm not sure if I'll get any sleep tonight or if I'll be able to be at least somewhat productive tomorrow!!
I really hate it when it gets like this - okay, so it was really rough this morning, but at least I tried - I tried to go to Uni and that didn't work. And then I have been feeling sad all day but I have still tried to feel better, to cheer myself up, to not let it get to me ... and then I find this out and it's all been for nothing!
Right now I just wish I could go to bed and never ever come up again ....