Thursday, 22 November 2007

Good Or Bad Or What?!?!?

I'm thinking of renaming my blog ... "My Life - The Confusing Mess"!
Well, maybe it's not that bad - but it certainly feels like that right now!
I had a 'big' thing to do this morning (regarding one of the 'issues'), and while I know it really shouldn't have been that big, for some reason, I just felt pure terrible!! I don't think I've had anxiety levels like this in years - it wasn't even as bad as this when I had my oral exam, or when I had all my oral presentations last fall ... not even close!
I haven't been able to figure out why it turned out like that - because it really wasn't that big a deal - but I felt soooo awful!!
I managed to do what it was I was supposed to do - with a "satisfying result", practically speaking (emotionally it was about as far from satisfying as you can get!!), and it resolved one issue! Unfortunately - again! - it created a number of other issues!!!
I'm SO tired of this!!

I really tried to "recover" after this experience, by active writing in my diary, but I really felt horrible, I was completely out of it, and it resulted in me missing today's lecture - NOT good!! During this course it is very important to attend lectures, and while me and Johanna are "trading notes", I still feel terrible about not going!
I honestly don't think I could have coped with lectures, but that doesn't stop me from feeling depressed and sad about the way this day turned out!

I'm hoping for a good night's sleep now, so I can start dealing with everything in the morning - studies, issues and everything else that is complicated in my life right now ...
So what do you think? Should I change the name of the blog?!
(*lol* Probably won't do that, although it feels kinda tempting right now)

My Life At The Moment!
Currently reading: Teologiska Reflexioner II: Gudstro, Werner Jeanrond
Currently watching: The X-Files, season 3
Currently listening to: --
My Plans for tomorrow: STUDIES!

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