Friday, 4 May 2007

Weird Day ... and weird mood ...

Today has been mostly very strange!
Since yesterday's lecture was cancelled, most of the students I talked to seemed to think today's lesson would be cancelled too ... I kept checking the internet all morning - not getting anything done in the way of studying - but no updates! The problem was there really was NO update, so the message that was on the website yesterday was there today ... which said that "tomorrow, May 4th, lectures have been moved to 2 p.m." - what 'tomorrow May 4th', that's TODAY!! Since there was no update I didn't know if it had been cancelled or not ... so I had to get going despite a horrible mood.
Turned out we were having lecutres (the problems were due to our teacher having surgery all Wednesday and apparently had complications and had to be hospitalized, he was only released this morning!) ... but there were only 6 students there!!! That felt kind of weird ... and at four times during the lecture, the teacher asked one of us to read and translate!!! *gasp* Now, I HAD prepared these verses, but despite that, I had severe anxiety attacks every time he asked. He didn't ask me, but I realize it's just a matter of time before he will ... and I don't know how or if I will cope, and what will happen when/if I don't cope ... *sigh*
I just HATE my life right now!!

Everything seems to be happening at once - that's usually the case! I really feel that if I should do anything with this semester, I have to really put an effort into this part of the course - make sure I am prepared, try to use anxiety-reducing methods to be able to go to the lectures etc. This of course takes a lot of energy and a lot of time to deal with.
I also have to arrange for a trip north to visit my Dad and his family! There will be a Christening of the youngest in the family on May 17th and naturally I have to be there for that. It isn't that easy though, because I have to make totally new arrangements for Zorro (the woman who usually keeps him ... well, let's just say it didn't work out at all last time, so I'm gonna have to think of something new), and of course it's a long trip and it takes quite a bit of organization!

There are also other things going on - some really are very good, but that doesn't stop me from feeling anxious! Well, first of all, there are two rather difficult letters I have to write, and that will take both time, effort and energy to do in a correct way. Then, tomorrow, I'm gonna try to go to this book-signing thing, and I'm totally nervous about it!!!
I have recently discovered this Swedish author named Camilla Läckberg, I think she's wonderful, and I just LOVE her books ... so I really want to go to this signing event, but I'm totally freaking out!! I have never been to one, so I haven't gotten a clue as to how it's done - which is never a good thing. I've never been good on "take things when they come", I would much rather be able to prepare in advance!
Also, when I come back from my family, I have been invited to dinner the very next day! It will be me and two other girls I've been studying with. I really really get along well with them, I like them a great deal, and I'm very happy that we are able to stay in touch, but that still doesn't change the fact that I'm very nervous .... guess I just can't help myself right ...

Oh my, I am babbling tonight ... sorry about that! ;)

See ya!

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