After a very rough night indeed, I've spent the morning trying to come up with some decisions regarding my life - and since I'm completely exhausted, have a bad headache and Zorro has been completely insane, that wasn't easy!
The last week or so haven't been great for me, I haven't been feeling very well, and I haven't gotten things done, in the way I had hoped, for various reason - some valid, some not, I guess. This has left me with a constant bad feeling about what I should have done and should do and what I haven't done.
So now I've decided something. I can't say for sure wether it's the right decision or not - but you often only know that after the fact anyway, so I'm gonna go with my decision anyway.
I've decided to take a break. I have three days, including today, before I'm starting a new semester, which I know will be very demanding. While I will not take as many courses as I did last semester, I will also miss out on some of the advantages I had last semester, so I'm definately counting with this one being equally difficult, if not worse! So, these last three days I will spend on me! I won't do anything I don't want to do, period! I will try to take advantage of these last few days of freedom (as I probably won't have any more until next summer or something!), and really enjoy myself! I will also try to not feel bad about things that aren't getting done ... I'm an expert on beating myself up for not coping or not being organized and efficient, but if I do that, the whole idea of enjoying these days will be lost, right?!
Like I said, I don't know if this is the right decision to make now, but I've made it. Period. I know I'm going to have to put in a major work load starting Monday, not only with studies and work at an academic level, but also work on my social skills, on coping with the social arena, on dealing with other things, such as my essay or the fact that I need the bathroom floor redone (still haven't heard anything from the Floor-Guy) and other things - but doesn't that give me all the more reason to really take advantage of these days and do the most of them?
Okay, rambling now, sorry!
Just wanted to let you know what I've come up with, since I did sleep for about 2 hours last night and have spent most of the time trying to figure out what to do with my life now. And I've reached a decision, so here it is! :)
Now I'm gonna try to wake up properly - I still feel like a zombie even though it's lunch time - and see if I can't take a little tour out and enjoy the lovely weather we're having today!