Friday, 4 January 2008

Summarizing The Holidays!

I thought I'd start my blog-comeback with a summary of the two weeks I've been gone, and later on I'll add more specific posts!
I realize this sounds terrible but to start the summary, I'm afraid I have to say:
This has officially been the worst Christmas ever!!

I usually don't like holidays at all, and especially not Christmas, because expectations are set way to high, and all you do is try to meet some of them and satisfying everyone and everything, and you always tend to end up disappointed!
And this Christmas has just been really tough for me, for a number of different reasons! I'm not sure if I'll make any kind of sense here, because these few weeks have been very confusing to say the least!
Naturally I have enjoyed my trip, meeting with my families is always great since I don't see them too often!! But despite that things haven't been great ... I'm in a very "expansive" phase of my life right now, where I'm really learning to stand on my own two feet and creating my own life. More and more the last year or six months I have felt like an adult and in that also that my real family now is me and Zorro, at least primarily! After that I have my parents and my sisters, but first and foremost, I am a family of my own (if you know what I mean). And since I have worked hard at liberating myself and learning to be this one person that is me, it has been tough living with my Dad and his family, because no matter how hard everybody tries, I still end up being the 15-year-old daughter in that family! And I find that more and more difficult to handle, as the years go by!
I'm not used to the intensity of their family either, with two girls aged 3½ and 1, there's never a moments peace, and I am somehow expected to be with them all the time, while my Dad and his partner takes care of everything else! I really love children and I like being with them, but maybe not all the time ...
I didn't get too much time with my Mum either, which felt a bit sad!! Unfortunately my Dad's whole family, including me this time, became really ill during Christmas, which also put a damper on things! My Dad's partner and I caught some really nasty colds with high fever, sore throat, lots of coughing, and the two girls got ear infections and had to take penicillin!!

I have lots of fond memories of the trip too, of course. One of the best things with this trip was really getting a connection with my younger sister, I (sorry, keeping my promise to the girls' parents not to mention their names ... if you know their names and want to comment, please do what I do and write only the initial, thanks!). I haven't felt that before so it was really nice!
It's also great to be with M now, she's grown so much!! I will make a separate entry for my sisters with more thoughts and comments and pictures!

I saw "The Wedding Singer" on New Years Eve with my Mum, which was a fantastic experience, on so many levels!! I will write a separate review and try to scan some pictures from the programme!

Overall, I can't say that this Christmas has been good or relaxing, it has been tough on many levels for me, and I have to be honest and say that I am very happy to be home right now!
Some moments and events have been more than great, but overall, I don't want to go through this again! I will try to work through my other blog entries during the day so I can start looking forward to what 2008 will bring!

Take care!


The Darkest Night said...

sorry to hear you had a not-so-great Christmas! *hugs*

Jessica said...

thanks ... guess these things happen, but I sure am glad it's over now!!!