Monday, 27 November 2006

Drowning ?

Today has been very intense, although not entirely bad!
The presentation was ... okay, I suppose! I have sort of gotten to point where I am able to talk in front of the group - and that is quite an achievement in itself, let me tell you! - but naturally that is not enough! *sigh* Today, we had to perform the presentation standing up in front of everybody else - which we haven't had before ... I did it, and I'm proud of that, but it is very hard for me, and it certainly drains my energy reserves!

Then, we were informed of the next project! Which resulted in me having an anxiety attack in the classroom! That certainly doesn't happen often, but it's awful when it does!! At least I've come far enough not to run out of the room (which I have a feeling I would have done a few years back!), and I managed to somehow calm myself down and deal with the situation.
We are supposed to study interviewing-technics, and for this we have to go out and interview three different people, on tape, type it up and in groups do an analysis of the interviews ... we'll be working with this until December 18th, so I have a feeling this will be a major project!
First and foremost, I have such a hard time just finding three people to do the interview!! I hardly know anyone down here ... those I feel I do know take the same course as I do, I can't very well interview them, can I?!? And if I should managed to find these people, it's the matter of actually performing the interview!! *sigh*

After lectures, I had a meeting with my tutor, and I was soooo nervous! He's always seemed very vague to me, which was not what I felt I needed since I've never written an essay before. He turned out to be a lot better than I had expected though, he felt my ideas were quite okay, he made some suggestions etc. and that actually felt good .... although it did result in me promising to construct a questionnarie tonight, and a follow-up letter to it! That has not been easy, I've spent most of tonight trying to do that. I'm mostly finished now, although I think I might have to change a thing or two here and there.

I'm not quite as down today as I was yesterday, but I really feel like I'm pushing myself to the limit right now, and I'm not sure how long I can keep pushing and pushing and pushing before I just fall down once and for all ...

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