Thursday, 2 November 2006

First In Five Years!

Thank God this day is finally over!!
It has been quite a day indeed, and I'm feeling so far beyond tired, that I hope you'll forgive me if this entry somehow won't make any kind of sense! Raise The Roof 2

I managed to get a few anxiety-reducing methods going during my trip to Uni, I am actually amazed at myself for that, because I'm quite often capable of finding rational arguments for "disarming" the situation I'm about to enter, that's actually making sense ... I can really take this arguments to me, and they do help me!! I have never quite managed that before, at least not to this extent, and that feels really really great.
I was still more than nervous when I got to Uni ... the others said they were really nervous too, but as I wrote before, that doesn't really help me. I don't get less anxious just because I know others are nervous too - and to be frank, why would I? I mean, why would I feel any better if I know others are feeling bad ... (okay, I told you I was totally tired and rather confused ....!)

Anyway ...
I won't go into detail about the presentation in itself, because then you would fall asleep before you've read through half of it ... but let's just say I do not want to re-live the hours between noon and four o'clock this afternoon! Our group got so much criticism, it was actually embarrasing! The other groups got some "bad" feedback on maybe one or two things - I think we got six or seven ... from both our teachers and some rather suspect comments from a fellow student! *sigh* I have to admit though, that most of the criticism we got were called for, it wasn't unfair - though there were a couple of things regarding our group and one other group that felt rather far-fetched.
All in all - I'm not happy with the way things turned out!!
The teachers said that naturally no one had failed the course (that was pretty much given beforehand), so I know that I really can let go of this course now. It's really finished and I've gotten a passing grade ... but it's hard not to keep thinking about this, since it turned out the way it did!

Moving on to an explanation of the title of today's entry! I feel like I should finish off with something positive, after this rather awful day!
This course that I've finished now, is actually the first course in five years that I have completed on the same conditions as every other student! Five years ago, I started this education programme (I went on sick leave after about one semester), and since than there has always been one thing or another that I have had to skip, or find alternate solutions too!
I studied full time most of last semester too, but there were some things involved in the courses that I felt I couldn't handle, so I spoke to the teachers and made alternate arrangements ... but not this time. This is the first time I've followed a course, made all the assignments - oral as well as written - in the same way as everybody else! I have also been on every lecture except three, and in those cases I was really sick, which is also a record, I think ... I have always found excuses to skip going to lectures before!
*feeling rather proud now*

Mixed feelings today - as you have noticed by now! I'm going to try to put this course, and this presentation, behind me now, and look toward the future instead!
Take care guys!

Jessica's Websites


The darkest night said...

I'm really sorry the presentation didn't go that well..but it's good to hear you're able to find the postive aspects... way to go! *hugs*

Jessica said...

Thanks sis!
I'm trying not to get too hung up on the presentation - after all, they said that everybody passed the course, and that is the main thing ...

The darkest night said...

yeah...there are SO many things that can go wrong on a group presentation, and it's usually the best to try to just forget about them aftewards ;) Easier said than done sometimes though...*lol*

yeah, but of course the main thing is that it's over - and you passed! :)

Jessica said...

You're TOTALLY right ... one of the members of our group emailed our teachers on another matter yesterday, but mentioned a few things that we didn't feel happy about ... she sent us the replies she got - one of them was quite okay, but it was also he who gave us the "fair" criticism ... the other one ... nah, it didn't feel great!

As you're probably noticing I AM having a bit difficulty in putting all this behind me - although I really am trying ... Guess I'll have to just keep trying, right?! ;)

Dakota said...

I'm really happy to hear you passed! Congrats!! :)

it's a good thing you can put the presentation behind you now.
I wish you all the best in the future! :)

Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring
When tomorrow comes!

The darkest night said...

Points for effort! ;) You have every right to feel annoyed or disappointed about it now... I'm sure in time you'll be able to leave it behind you ! you seem to be getting really good at focusing on the good sides! :) *hugs*

Jessica said...

Thanks! :D
It feels amazing to know that I've completed the entire course without having to resort to alternative solutions for this and that!
I'm trying really hard to not think about the presentation - after all, it happened, and it pretty much sucked, but there's nothing I can do about it now ...

Jessica said...

The darkest night:
I'm sure I will more or less 'forget about it' given time! I really am getting better and better at focusing on the positive, so hopefully I'll be able to do so this time as well! :)

The darkest night said...

Good girl! :) *hugs*