Sunday, 22 October 2006

Anxious And Uncertain!

Another day that hasn't been one of my better ones! I think I am feeling a little better than I did during Friday and Saturday, but I still have quite a while left before I'm back to the way I was ... if I ever get there.
There are lots of uncertainties in my life right now, and somehow I was holding on, I was trying to juggle it all and deal with it, until this thing happened on Friday! Somehow I just dropped all my balls at once and they all broke into one million little pieces, at least that's the way it feels right now. I think most of you recognize that you can usually deal with quite a lot of difficult stuff, but if one thing just turns into chaos, or goes to Hell, you loose it all!I hope it's not quite as bad as that, and that my life will still be here when I try to pick up the pieces, but this "thing" that happened on Friday certainly made my life so much more difficult!

I am going through quite a lot at the moment and I feel like up until now I did a pretty good job of it, but as things are now, I have a hard time trying to continue coping, working with myself, continue to try to make progress etc.
First and foremost there was this one "thing" that happened, but when I've gone back and tried going through pretty much everything that happened on Friday, I tend to find other things that are complicating my life, that leaves me feeling insecure and left out ...

I won't go on and on about this, I am feeling low right now, and I have a hard time knowing how to handle the upcoming weeks and months in a satisfactory way, but somewhere deep inside me I have something that tells me not to give up entirely! I can give up temporarily, sometimes you have to do that - to take a break from everything - in order to deal with it, but I don't think I will let everything go! I also know that even if time doesn't heal all your wounds, in a way you learn to deal with things over time. And I guess that's all I can think about to try to get through this time ...

I made a background image earlier, to try to take my mind off all problems, it's from the musical Kristina From Duvemåla - I hope you like it!! (And apologies for all the Swedish lyrics to those of you who don't read Swedish!)


The darkest night said...

Hey sis!
I hope you'll feel better soon!!

I just LOVE the Kristina background!! GOOD JOB!!


Jessica said...

Thanks - I hope I'll be able to cope better given time.
Glad you like the background - thanks a lot! :)