I have had a rather frustrated day today, and I'm not feeling great at the moment - so I hope you'll forgive this short entry today.
I know I should be really happy right now, I have accomplished a lot and I should be able to relax and really feel happy and proud about what I have done ... but unfortunately I have a hard time doing that. There are certain "stuff" in my life that I can't make heads or tails of at the moment ... no, that's not really true either! I pretty much know what it's all about - there's not much confusion involved, but I am feeling very low and upset!
There are lots of levels to my low mood to. One thing is of course the "stuff" in itself, which is very hard to deal with, but there's also the fact that I know there's nothing I can do to change this situation!! That, of course, adds to the problem! It's hard enough going through a rough time and having to work really hard to get out of it - but finding yourself in a terrible situation where you know you can't do anything at all while at the same time feeling like you can't live the way you do - let's just say that is more than hard.
My life isn't really as rotten as this entry makes it sound, so I have to apologize for that! I am very tired, and I have a hard time writing this ... The fact is that this "stuff" (again!) takes up a lot of my time at the moment and that it is very hard for me to deal with, but on the other hand things are looking up a lot for me generally at the moment! I can see the things I have accomplished and I can be proud of them, absolutely ....
Okay, this turned out to be a very confusing entry, even though I said I wasn't confused ... hrm ... is it possible I am now so confused that I don't even know that I am confused?!?
*God, Jessica, stop this before it gets completely out of hand!!*