Monday, 9 October 2006

Confused - Again!

Once again, I am left completely confused and generally not knowing anything about anything. Can't say that I'm loving that ... Confused

Some stuff in my life are really looking up at the moment, and I'm totally happy - and proud - that I've managed to get where I am today! I seem to constantly face new challenges, in different areas, and up until now I have coped with each and every one of them! That is really great, but I know that further challenges lies ahead (not only this "lecture-presentation-thing", but a lot of other stuff as well), and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep this up if I can't take a break and rest up for a while.

There are some other "issues" in my life right now, that making me feel less than great. I don't feel comfortable discussing the details here, but it's really upsetting me. Some days I can cope better with it, and other days it's just more than awful - it's a definate "awful-day" today ... I am developing into a person that needs to take action if something is not good. I have learned that nothing will just "happen" by a miracle, if you want something to happen, you have to work like hell for it! Therefore I always feel that when I face a situation I feel awkward or uncomfortable about, I try to assess the situation and what I can do in order to change it! It's not always as easy as that, of course, it requires the ability to really be able to see your true self, and accept it, and it also involves a great deal of work, but despite all those efforts, I have found out that it is working and I can accomplish to change a bad situation!
Well, these "issues" are somewhat different. I have tried to assess those situations as well - over and over and over and over again - but the problem here is that I don't know what I can do to make it better ... in fact, I'm not even sure there is anything at all that I can do to make it better. That is pretty terrible really, because I'm really upset about all this, it is rather tough for me to handle at the moment, and I have moments when I feel like I'm almost cut up inside ... and I can't think of any little thing to do to make it better ...

Sorry about the depressing entry tonight, especially after last nights wonderful entry ... but I guess a blog really should mirror your moods, right?!

Take care guys, I hope I'm in a better mood tomorrow!

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