Right off I want to state that the myth of "unlucky Friday the 13th" does not apply to me, at least not this time!
Though I almost have a hard time coming to terms with this myself, this has been a really good day!! Naturally some stuff could have been better, but what day isn't like that! In short, I did what I was supposed to do, I didn't completely screw up, and I even got some positive back on it!! Amazing!
To tell the truth, I didn't even reach the anxiety levels that I expected either! It was tough, of course, that is obvious ... but there were never that real sense of crisis; "I can't do this! - I have to get away from this!" - I can't stand being in this situation for a second longer!" ... none of that occured!!
Regarding the presentation itself, I have no idea what it was like!! I hardly even heard what I was saying, I don't know if it made much sense, but I really don't think it was completely awful! I got one positive comment on the language I used, a more "familiar" lanugage, instead of something that sounds like a written report (and since I'd made an effort to do that, it was great to hear that I probably succeeded to!). I got another positive comment from one girl, she was mentioning it in passing, but since I've been totally on edge and hyper-aware of everything today, I definately noticed it. She mentioned she'd had some questions regarding my chapter, but stated that "When Jessica explained it, I really understood what they meant" Also, she didn't really say it directly to me, she mentioned it to somebody else, so she can't have said it just to make me feel good ... Also, I heard from my teacher on two separate occasion that he thought it was good, and he's not usually the type to say things just "to be nice", at least I don't think he'd say something if he didn't mean it!
So I guess I didn't do such a bad job after all ....
I have really felt that complete relief I've been dreaming about for days now ... I haven't done a thing this afternoon and it's been more than wonderful! I have a lot of stuff to take care of starting tomorrow, but just this feeling that I did go through with it, I have done this, I have overcome this huge obstacle and I didn't mess it up ... it's a feeling that's beyond description!! Just amazing!! I know I have assigments to write to the coming lectures/presentations as well ... but there will be nothing like this, and I can really sit there knowing that I've already done the big bit ... that's ... wow ....
*** celebrating now ***
I still have a lot of writing to do in my regular diary, it's a lot to digest and come to terms with today, so I think I'd better get on that now!
Take care guys!!