I'm completely exhausted at the moment - and I'm already starting to panic about tomorrow ... that can't be good!!
Today has been 100% studies ... I sort of got a crazy idea last night, which meant study-study-study for me today! We've gotten these assignments to hand in, based on the oral presentations for each lecture. The entire thing has been a complete mess from the start, nobody knew which chapters were taken, or which ones were not taken, all of a sudden some people don't show up for their presentations - are we still going to hand in those assignments? As I said, a mess. Well, tomorrow is the last lecture before our group project, so I was supposed to finish all the assignments I had left today ... and I had a very hard time trying to figure out which ones I was supposed to do and which I could skip. So finally I decided to just go ahead and do all the chapters, no matter if I had to or not!! Which resulted in me writing eight assigments today!! I am soooo tired right now!
And I'm panicking about tomorrow!!
On so many levels!! We're supposed to get the information regarding the exam - the group project - tomorrow. Last Wednesday, I got the impression everybody took for granted I would join the group of girls with whom I've been hanging out during this course! I wasn't sure about it, but when I talked to one of the girls, she was totally on board with that! Great!! Until Friday ... just about everything went to Hell on Friday ... in this case I got the distinct impression that one of the girls in the group - the girl I've had the least contact with - definately didn't want me in the group! Now, I know I'm expert at exagerating at everything, and I admit that I might have gotten it wrong, but at the time, I really felt that way!! And if I now all of a sudden can't join that group - what the Hell do I do????!? *panic now* I have sort of talked a little to this other guy as well, but I'm not at all sure I can approach him about the group project either!! I have no idea how to handle this, and I can't prepare one little bit since I don't know what will happen tomorrow!! This is one big thing regarding tomorrow!
There's another thing aobut tomorrow too .... Previously I've vaguely talked about some "stuff" here - and the "stuff" pretty much exploaded in my face on Friday. This is in some way connected to Uni, meaning that it will probably hit me even more tomorrow! This is not something I can deal with on a rational level either, it's purely emotional, and that makes it even harder!
I realize I will probably survive tomorrow as well - I don't have much choice except go and try to do whatever I can to make it work out for the best ... but it's very very difficult not to worry about how things will turn out, or how it will make me feel ...
I'll stop rambling now ... sorry about that!